Drink - Makes A Person Tell the Truth?

LegacyUser

I've been going out with my squeeze for 6 months now. everything is going great and we are mad about each other. We work together but dont live together. We're both 25. We're moving at the end of the year (work reasons) to Cork. So I'm using it as an opportunity to get on the property ladder. I discussed this with my other half and asked her if we still are going as well as we are now would she be interested in renting from me and living together.She said she would if obviously things were going ok. So that was cool and I told her sure we'll discuss it properly in a number of months when we both know whats happening.

I know she wouldnt buy with me as she bought with her ex before and that got messy and the hardship of that is fresh in her memory so I didnt bring that up.

She was out Monday night and got a bit drunk and called over to my place... She proceeded to tell me that she'd love to live with me and couldnt wait for the move etc... and she'd just love to be able to come home together and be with each other.

In general, do people normally say stuff they really mean when drunk or can things be just over exaggerated. Either way in this case it doesn't really matter, more than anything I am asking out of interest??

Thanks

John Mason

why dont you just ask her when she is sober? None of us know your gf, how would we know if she says things like this when she gets drunk ?

Beruthiel

I wouldn't read too much in it.
When drunk life is wonderful as is everyone around you, so you are more open to saying things you 'wish' were true.
In the sober, cold light of day, caution is normally your guide. You only know the girl 6 months, don't rush things. If she's ready to move when the time comes, fair enough, just don't be too pushy about it.

tbh

Geof wrote: »

In general, do people normally say stuff they really mean when drunk or can things be just over exaggerated.

short answer: yes.

Longer answer: take this as a compliment. She's obviously into you, and when she gets drunk, she gets all excited at the thoughts of being with you. That's all that remark means, IMO, and to read any more into it would be unhelpful. Even if she means it 100% now, she might not in six months (six months is not really that long to be going out with someone) so, all I'd take from the remark is that her views on your relationship is "so far, so good".

Nothing wrong with that

LaVidaLoca

"In vino veritas" - In wine there is truth.

And as the other saying goes: "Promises made in drink...."

As I would see it, it is a common misconception that drink liberates you from your inhibitions and makes you more 'real'. In reality drink is an emotional suppressant - it takes away your real feelings about things and replaces them with a sort of dumb all-encompassing sloppy happiness.

This can lead to you telling somebody you love them when you dont, and can lead to you telling somebody they love them when you do. It could be a good sign, or it could mean she is having doubts, but wanted to say something nice while pissed, cause it feels good.

Chances are it's a good sign, if she was only a little tipsy, but the worrying side (very, very common among the Irish) is that doing this too often can lead to an inability to do it when sober.

As Dylan Moran says: All Irish relationships are based on colossal amounts of drink: Meeting for the first time, dating, haveing sex, getting married, until one day you wake up sober and go "What happened, who's this guy, I thought we were just gonna have a little drink?"

Crumble Froo

i would talk to her sober. mention that she said that while drunk, but you wanted to check. ive said things while drunk that ive meant, but never meant to say, and things i never meant, and certainly never meant to say. it could be either or... best to ask while sober, i reckon.

Mr. Incognito

6 months, bought old place- buying new place. You know what goes off in my head- the old rebound alarm clock. Her behaviour would seem to suit- welcome to the old ex substitution switch.

I'm perfectly capable of lying when drunk to get laid so there;'s not too much truth serium in my wine.

Why don't you just ask her?

Drift

Beruthiel wrote: »

I wouldn't read too much in it.
When drunk life is wonderful as is everyone around you, so you are more open to saying things you 'wish' were true.
In the sober, cold light of day, caution is normally your guide. You only know the girl 6 months, don't rush things. If she's ready to move when the time comes, fair enough, just don't be too pushy about it.

Spot on the money.

azezil

As you say yourself, peoples emotions become GREATLY exaggerated while drunk, I'd take anything said to me in this state with a pinch of salt

jdivision

I talk a load of ****e when I'm drunk so no I don't think there's much truth in what you say when you're drunk.

WetDaddy

azezil wrote: »

As you say yourself, peoples emotions become GREATLY exaggerated while drunk, I'd take anything said to me in this state with a pinch of salt

I don't think I'd totally agree with this: I do believe people get over-talkative and talk crap when they're drunk, but I don't think their core opinions on things change.

I'd say that people tend to say what they want to say when drunk, be it the truth or not. For example, if you really disliked someone, you might say something nasty to them when you're p*ssed. It mightn't be the truth, but it's certainly something you want to say...

passive

I think people tell a truth when they're drunk... Generally a nice one. But it might not be the general truth... See how she follows it up soberly, without pressuring her to stick by her drunken word(s). Unless you plan to keep her drunk the whole way through the relationship, which may have health drawbacks, I'd recommend not taking this change of heart as gospel...

Mickswizard

Reason goes out the window when drunk and you are prone to acting on emotional impulses. Talk to her when she's sober and don't hold her to what she said or even push her by saying "but you said it when you were drunk". By the sounds of it you are with someone who at the very least is very serious about you. No need to ruin it. It will happen when the time is right.

LegacyUser

Yes.

Drink gives you the confidence to say what you can't say sober.

PeakOutput

well there is the saying that a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts and i think there is some truth to it BUT i recently told my ex that i dont want to be with anyone else but here while i was drunk. i dont remember it at all and i have no intention of getting back with her so its not 100%

she may want to on a basic level but when she is drunk she is not thinking about all the problems like what happens if you break up etc and these are the first things she will think of when sober

hermit

Best thing you can do is not push her on it, from your post it seems like you have discussed it with her when no drink is involved. So leave it at that. It doesn't seem to be an issue for you now "moving at the end of the year" so just keep moving on with your relationship and then discuss the matter when it begins to become more of a reality.

"Setanta L" - I've seen a couple threads on PI in recent weeks regarding rebound relationships etc... most people and in a lot of cases have a justified negativity towards such relationships but through my own experience thats not always the case.

The OP states that he didnt bring up buying a house with her and also that he was the instigator of the renting proposal so to say "ex substitution switch" is rather unfair. Particular more so when we dont know the background to the situation e.g. the last relationship COULD be a few years old at this stage yada yada yada....

LaVidaLoca

our number one social lubricant is because we dont say or think what we really feel when we're under its influence.

It enables you to be best buds with somebody that in normal life you dont like very much, shag women/men you dont fancy, dance to music that you hate, and bond with work collegues that bore you to tears.

That's the magic of booze!

seamus

"In vino veritas" was no doubt coined by wine drinkers who drank it in relative moderation. General rule is that after 3 or 4 drinks, you're more likely to say something that's true but that you'd be afraid to say otherwise. After 6 or 8 drinks, everything that comes out of your mouth is complete ****e and cannot be taken seriously. Whatever about what you want to say, your vocabulary also suffers so you have trouble correctly expressing yourself anyway.
Whoever came up with the above phrase obviously never invited a complete stranger to his wedding while completely off his face.

TEDDYBEAR90

Sometimes if you have something on your mind and you have a few drinks the truth will out, but it can also go the other way depending on the amount you've had to drink.

Faith

I'm normally quite a reserved person when it comes to affection. I don't really hug or kiss my friends. However, when I'm drunk, I'm the friendliest and most affectionate person in the world. I'll happily chat for hours with people I hate, telling the how great they are and how we should spend more time together. I kiss and hug my friends to my hearts content and tell them how much I love them. I wouldn't do any of that sober, not because I don't want to but because I feel it's not appropriate. In short, I come out with an awful lot of shít when I'm drunk.

Like others have said, just chat to her when you're both sober. You've no way to know if she meant it or not. It could have been perfectly true when she was drunk, but she might not be so enthusiastic sober.

Talliesin

Her sober response was mixed, "She said she would if obviously things were going ok", it's a response that mixes a desire to move in with you with caution about what could go wrong.

Her drunk response contains just the desire to move in with you, because she was drunk and in a good mood so she focused on the good things.

If she'd been drunk and in a bad mood she could quite well have ranted about being scared of moving in and things going wrong and getting messy.

Either way it's not so much a matter of in vino veritas or in vino utter bollocks but just changing ones focus to a less balanced one.

What she said didn't contradict with what she'd said earlier, it just focused on just one.