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New Torres Book

2

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,652 ✭✭✭kev_s88


    Funny_Soccer_07.jpg

    funny-soccer-photo.jpg

    big-soccer-kick.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    kev_s88 wrote: »
    a few pics to lighten up the mood again

    funny_soccer.jpg

    funny%20soccer%201.jpg
    hahaha, fags!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 34,404 ✭✭✭✭~Rebel~




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 8,176 ✭✭✭Unearthly




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,825 ✭✭✭Mikeyt086


    Can someone please re-name this the football humour thread?

    This is brilliant and much needed.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 45,643 ✭✭✭✭Mr.Nice Guy




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    He thought that out pretty well. :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 609 ✭✭✭Dubit10


    Watch out for this guy in the olympics:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,681 ✭✭✭Chong


    I think its your mission to annoy Neil amongst other united fans.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 609 ✭✭✭Dubit10


    Willstev wrote: »
    I think its your mission to annoy Neil amongst other united fans.

    Yeap thats my mission:rolleyes: Does no one on here have a sense of humour:p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan


    i worked with Neil for a couple of years, and he doesnt have a sense of humour ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 609 ✭✭✭Dubit10


    Mr Alan wrote: »
    i worked with Neil for a couple of years, and he doesnt have a sense of humour ;)

    You seem like a long term poster here Mr Alan. Is there not a bit of banter allowed between us and the mancs. Jeeees. They give stick we as scousers give it back. Think some people on here take the whole thing way to serious:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan


    banter is allowed and i reckon should be condoned, just hard sometimes to get the "tone" of wat someone is saying, definately some people around who are wayyy too sensitive, but there is also loads of people who are well up for decent discussion and a bit of a laugh.

    and i aint that long term a poster, only here just over a year, any other queries should be directed to Mike, he is the soccer forum guru :)


  • Posts: 14,379 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Mr Alan wrote: »
    i worked with Neil for a couple of years, and he doesnt have a sense of humour ;)

    So's your face!! Thanks Al, thats the nicest thing anyones ever said about me!

    I have a sense of humour but I dont find every thread in here deteriorating into silly "us" vs "you's" arguments when referring to two foreign cities in particular to be fun, nor the constant "Gerrards a diver" "No, Ronaldo is" posts and all that crap thats dominating the boards lately, thats all! And some of the posts we're meant to have "sense of humour" about are poorly veiled wind up attempts.


    Anyway, I apologised for the rant. Like I said, wont happen again, I found the ignore button, and its much better!





    PS I worked with Alan for a couple of years and he doesnt have sense!! :eek::eek:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,894 ✭✭✭Nunu




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,825 ✭✭✭Mikeyt086


    rooneycrcf9.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,046 ✭✭✭eZe^


    Nunu wrote: »


    I actually lol'd... :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    great stuff, keep it coming :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan


    Moyes previous career

    http://www.bluekipper.com/assets/images/blubber/moyes_proclaimers.jpg

    Maybe something to go back to when they realise 4th aint happening and Fiorentina finish the job in woodison.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,552 ✭✭✭✭GuanYin


    Mr Alan wrote: »
    and i aint that long term a poster, only here just over a year)

    and yet it seems sooooo much longer :p

    ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan


    and yet it seems sooooo much longer :p

    ;)

    PSI, if you wanna go on a date - just ask :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,658 ✭✭✭✭Peyton Manning


    Heres one I made myself. Have a whole thread of these over on RedCafe. Gotta do something in these wee hours of the morning. Based on the Liverpool robberies. ;)

    http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/7213/scousersja6.png


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,529 ✭✭✭Im_No_Superman




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,906 ✭✭✭DeadSkin


    Stumbled across this morning, thought I'd throw it in here :D



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,097 ✭✭✭✭Tusky


    Considered posting this in the Utd thread but I fear the reaction!

    http://i30.tinypic.com/2eo8tmx.gif


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,529 ✭✭✭Im_No_Superman


    Tusky wrote: »
    Considered posting this in the Utd thread but I fear the reaction!

    http://i30.tinypic.com/2eo8tmx.gif
    I lol'ed. ;):D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,346 ✭✭✭✭KdjaCL




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,372 ✭✭✭✭Mr Alan


    I know this these are yoinked from the Chuck Norris/Mr T yokes, i still laughed like **** though.....

    Mascherano Facts:
    1. Javier Mascherano once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

    2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Javier Mascherano allows to live.

    3. When Javier Mascherano drinks piss, his sugar puffs smell funny.

    4. When Javier Mascherano was born, the nurse said, "**** Me! That's Javier Mascherano!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

    5. When Javier Mascherano goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Javier Mascherano could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed a flim from Javier Mascherano and forgot to pay him back.

    8. Javier Mascherano can count backwards from infinity.

    9. Crop circles are Javier Mascherano' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

    10. When Javier Mascherano jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Javier Mascherano’ed instead.

    11. Javier Mascherano can divide by zero.

    12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Javier Mascherano, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

    13. Javier Mascherano is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

    14. Javier Mascherano has two speeds: walk and kill.

    15. Javier Mascherano is the reason why Wally is hiding in all those ****ing books.

    16. Javier Mascherano can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

    17. You are what you eat. That is why Javier Mascherano's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

    18. Javier Mascherano once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

    19. Javier Mascherano played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    20. If you were to lock Javier Mascherano in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Javier Mascherano replied "Because Grammy's are for ****ing queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

    21. On his birthday, Javier Mascherano randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

    22. Javier Mascherano doesn't believe in condoms. Instead, he sticks his dick in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while shagging another.

    23. When Javier Mascherano does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

    24. Whenever Javier Mascherano puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of petrol and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

    25. Javier Mascherano invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. John Terry invented pink.

    26. Javier Mascherano coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

    27. Javier Mascherano haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

    28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Javier Mascherano punched himself in the face.

    29. Javier Mascherano, David Hasselhoff, Chris Akabusi and Mr T once all met in a bar, it exploded as no room can contain that much cool!

    30. Javier Mascherano is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    31. Javier Mascherano is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Javier Mascherano!

    32. Javier Mascherano can touch MC Hammer whenever the **** he likes.

    33. They once made a Javier Mascherano toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

    34. If Javier Mascherano is late, time better slow the **** down.

    35. Javier Mascherano once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

    36. Javier Mascherano was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of head-butt related deaths.

    37. Javier Mascherano appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a head-butt. When asked bout this "glitch," Javier Mascherano replied, "That's no glitch."

    38. Someone once tried to tell Javier Mascherano that head-butts aren't the best way to kill someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    39. The jackhammer was invented after a construction worker saw Javier Mascherano having sex.

    40. If Javier Mascherano was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Steve Bennet, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Bennet twice.

    41. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Javier Mascherano spared your life.

    42. Superman wears Javier Mascherano pjs.

    43. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Javier Mascherano says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.

    44. Javier Mascherano once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

    45. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Javier Mascherano. Sounds like a fair fight.

    46. Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Javier Mascherano does not feel like carrying you.

    47. Javier Mascherano was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Javier Mascherano


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