Pay Priest to Fill in Pre Marriage Forms

sprint316

Hi All,

we're getting married in July and we just had the lcoal priest call over to fill in our pre marriage form.

he was here for about half an hour and was full of chat the whole time - when we were finished, he went very quiet and basically sat there looking at us as we tried to fill in the silence....

(we've just moved into a new house and money is tight and he was driving a volvo XC90 so i think i was right not to pay him!)

we are now wondering if we should have paid him for calling over (we fed him coffee and cakes!), should we have paid him?

Parsley

I wouldn't!

Terry

Moved from AH.

skinnybop

We didnt but i have heard people asking this question before so maybe people do it. i would be mortified giving the priest money. im sure he gets some out of the donation to the church on the day

DO0GLE

I put €50 into an envelope and handed it to the priest after he completed my paperwork which was more of a donation and easier than handing over money.

They have bills to pay too and its only something very small when you take everything into consideration. Also you cant get married without your paperwork so it is very important.

guinnessdrinker

I was wondering about this too, I think the money in the envelope may be the best way of doing it.

Sizzler

sprint316 wrote: »

(we've just moved into a new house and money is tight and he was driving a volvo XC90 so i think i was right not to pay him!)

If his parish is bankrolling a jeep like that then I wouldnt lose any sleep over it.

He'll get his few quid on the day so thats enough.

DO0GLE

I suppose if he's giving the ceremony then fair enough as he'll be getting his few quid on the day, but if he wasn't giving the ceremony and was just giving you letters of freedom a small few quid is no harm

4eyes

I know what you mean, it can be awkward.. but the way i see it is we are paying thousands to venue, dress shops, bands, photographers etc.. the church is actually the cheapest thing so far (for us). Maybe when you give your contribution to the church/ priest you could slip an extra €50 and a note thanking him for his time signing forms and mention you've included it in the contribution.

i know weddings are expensive but what happens in the church is the main thing!! You wouldn't be married without his input. Hope this helps

Ballyman

And how much does one give him on the day itself?

return guide

sprint316 wrote: »

Hi All,

we're getting married in July and we just had the lcoal priest call over to fill in our pre marriage form.

he was here for about half an hour and was full of chat the whole time - when we were finished, he went very quiet and basically sat there looking at us as we tried to fill in the silence....

(we've just moved into a new house and money is tight and he was driving a volvo XC90 so i think i was right not to pay him!)

we are now wondering if we should have paid him for calling over (we fed him coffee and cakes!), should we have paid him?

Can you say what part of the country you are in , because quite frankly I am astonished that a clergyman of a any denomination would show up with a car of that value. His parish most like him very much.

4eyes

Our preist (Wicklow) asked us for €150 for the use of the church and his services. I was genually gobsmacked. We hope give more than that (if we have a penny left!) and as it turns out we now have our own priest.

Aquitaine

4eyes wrote: »

Our preist (Wicklow) asked us for €150 for the use of the church and his services. I was genually gobsmacked. We hope give more than that (if we have a penny left!) and as it turns out we now have our own priest.

I think around €200 is pretty much standard for the use of the church

Gobán Saor

sprint316 wrote: »

..... we just had the lcoal priest call over to fill in our pre marriage form.......he was here for about half an hour....

we are now wondering if we should have paid him for calling over (we fed him coffee and cakes!), should we have paid him?

If your solicitor called to your house for half an hour to fill in some forms, how much do you think you might pay him? Or would s/he be happy with coffee and cakes?:D:D:D Or how much for a house visit by a doctor? Accountant? Architect? Plumber? Electrician? How ridiculous would it be to wonder whether or not they might expect to be paid. Do you seriously expect a priest to give you his services for free?

Bottom line. Nobody is forcing you to have a church wedding. If you want one be prepared to pay some costs. I absolutely GUARANTEE it will be one of the very smallest charges you will face

cinny

i cant believe people wouldt pay the priest. it is his job after all and he relies on donations to keep the church and himself. you cant expect a service for free. its amazing how people will spend so much on weddings such as wedding favours, flowers, clothes etc and begrudge the priest a small fee.

Ballyman

Aquitaine wrote: »

I think around €200 is pretty much standard for the use of the church

Hmm. We have to pay an "offering" of €500 cos we are not in the church's parish. This was made blatantly obvious to us by the parish priest of the church. The church is University one on Stephens Green.

We have to bring our own priest from our parish also as the guy in the Green won't marry anyone outside his parish. Our priest will have to travel 25 miles to the church. He will be attending the meal also I would imagine afterwards.

How much of an "offering" would he be expecting?

4eyes

Ballyman wrote: »

Hmm. We have to pay an "offering" of €500 cos we are not in the church's parish. This was made blatantly obvious to us by the parish priest of the church. The church is University one on Stephens Green.

We have to bring our own priest from our parish also as the guy in the Green won't marry anyone outside his parish. Our priest will have to travel 25 miles to the church. He will be attending the meal also I would imagine afterwards.

How much of an "offering" would he be expecting?

I came out and asked the preist how much of an offering would be suitable. He said €150 for the church and this included him saying the mass and neither my partner or i are from the parish! €500 seems alot more than i have heard from other couples but i guess if you want a church wedding (and that is a beautiful church) you'll have to pay. As it turns out we are now using a priest who is a family friend to say the mass but will still pay first priest, we are actully going to give him a bit more.
i think the priest staying for the meal is normal (based on other weddings i've been to). Our family friend priest is coming over from America so i think we'll have to pay for his accomadation too. hope this helps.

heavyheart

I have heard lately that its now written on the forms how much your to give to the priest , i think its €50 ....as if they are trying to standardize it .