internet crush

LegacyUser

im meeting up with a guy i met on the internet. its not a date, we just got to know each other from a group and we decided to meet up. the thing is i really like him. in the group he'd be one of the people who talks the most, while i would post a lot less. so i know him better than he knows me. plus i know what he looks like, whereas he doesnt know what i look like. hes a really cool guy and probably way out of my league. im real nervous and i know im just going to mess up. this always happens when i really like someone. how do i relax and let him know how well we'd get on, instead of babbling on like an idiot or worse not knowing what to say?

gollyitsolly

Dont pretend or rush anything. Just be yourself. Wont he be surprised when you meet? Turn your nerves into excitement.

Colonel_McCoy

Firstly he will be nervous too..........from a males perspective,its great if the females talks as it will make him less nervous. To start ask general questions, especially ones that dont involve yes or no answers. Maybe hows is work, college or family etc? If you have travelled on a J1 or Austalia would be something to talk about. Basically, you have nothing to worry about after all he is in the same boat!

btw dont get hammered!

john_aero

ok, just quick guide i picked up from past.

dont drink,
dont go alone,
tell a good few people where you are and what your doing
keep in touch very often with people at home
keep your friend near by so nothing happens
just be safe.

i had a 5year relationship with some one i met on the net, ended due to other reasons.

just you will have tyake it real slow as you need get know person in dept.

best luck

_blank_

reallyshy wrote: »

hes a really cool guy and probably way out of my league.

OK, I need to address this.

For a start, if he really is a "really cool guy" he isn't going to think that he is "way out of your league", or better than you in any way.

You need to ditch this attitude, seriously. Why do you think he is in a different league to you? You both post on the same subject, you both seem to have the same interests. If you go with the attitude "oh I'm so lucky to even be in this guy's company, I can't believe he'd go out with someone like me, he is way out of my league" he is going to pick up on that. It's not attractive to most normal blokes.

Who instigated the meet up? Did you ask him, did he ask you, or was it more like "hey, this cool thing is on this weekend, I think I'll go, wanna come with?"

If he asked you - happy days, chances are that he likes you "in that way".

You asked him? - happy days, he agreed to meet you, so there's at least a bit of interest there. Blokes do not go out with girls who ask them out without at least thinking that something "else" might happen. I'm a bloke, I know.

Mutual interest meet up? - happy days, you two will have something in common from the start, so there's an obvious conversation starter right there. Chat about whatever it is you are doing, then let the conversation flow.

You see, whatever the scenario there are positives to it:)

reallyshy wrote: »

im real nervous and i know im just going to mess up.

Again, if you go there thinking "omg omg, I have to make a good impression, I can't mess up" you are doomed from the start. You can't watch everything you do or say. It will come across as stifled and false. Just go with it.

Here's the thing. Everyone is nervous when they are meeting people they fancy. It's natural. He'll be nervous too, just remember that.

reallyshy wrote: »

this always happens when i really like someone.

It's a vicious circle. You think it's going to happen, so it happens.

This time will be different, tell yourself it won't happen. Don't analyse every word you say, don't think about everything you want to do, there is no script for these type of things. Go with the flow, relax, see what happens.

reallyshy wrote: »

how do i relax and let him know how well we'd get on,

Just be yourself. Cliché I know, but it's true.

reallyshy wrote: »

instead of babbling on like an idiot or worse not knowing what to say?

You obviously have a mutual interest, yeah? Talk about that. Mention some funny post you saw on the forum you both use.

Ask about him, tell him about you.

Good luck

John Mason

That's great advice from DesF, listen to him

_blank_

irishbird wrote: »

That's great advice from DesF, listen to him

Indeed, it's the advice I used when I was trying to get with my gf

She's a lovely girl, who I met on an internet forum actually ;)

Seems to be going well so far, just over two months since we first met

LegacyUser

actually that is great advice, from everyone. my confidence is a bit low at the moment and it can be a bit of a vicious circle.

we do get on well, thats one of the reasons i like him so much. so ill just try to relax and have a good time.

thanks a lot guys

nevaeh-2die-4

i hope it works out for u,hopefuly it doesnt turn out to be some1 like roy cropper.

Loopy

Go for it, Just be yourself! If there is no connection you can walk away knowing your out there trying..

Try not be to nervous, whats the worst that can happen, you dont click..?

Le Rack

No one is out of your league if you really want them. Anyone who acts as if they are or whatever is a twatbag. Anyway, if he's agreed to meet you outside the group there's hardly an issue of leagues now is there, imo there's summit there already...

Ye talk a lot online, so you'll have summit to talk about in person, so you're nervous, it's natural, I've met loads of people off the net, even some bf's, it's always a bit nervy at first but once you get comfy with eachother in person you'll fly it! If he knows you're shy etc then it's not gonna be an issue, no worries.

Don't necessarily BRING a friend but do keep at least two well informed of where you are, how things are going etc, I know it may be rude, antisocial to be textin while chattin to someone but he'll likely be doin summit similar so meh...

One point though, if you've seen him and he's not seen you then upon meeting up you're gonna have to make first contact, which if you're nervous about may be a bit overwhelming, maybe swap photos before hand or summit...

relax and enjoy, and if it doesn't go well at least you can say you tried, although from the sounds of it it will go well!