Anyone Vacumned their underpants lately

Rob_l

Worker caught having sex with Henry Hoover

By Megan Levy
Last Updated: 12:45pm GMT 03/03/2008

A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.
# How About That: More weird news from around the world

The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.

The man claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover

A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose".

When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". He has since been fired

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/03/nhoover103.xml

Rob_l

I meant this for after hours but I posted it here

Mr. CooL ICE

Doesn't make it any less ridiculous. Who fires someone for that? Poor guy probably had a dingleberry problem

The_Minister

Butt-naked in a hospital canteen? Ever heard of hygiene?

Damn right to fire him IMO.

themadchef

Too right he should be fired.

If i was found in a comprising position / semi naked with cucumber in hand, i think the imprint of the Bosses boot would dent my ample bum for months.

What could make you that horny at work ffs?..... He was on his own or so he thought. Imagine his face when the security guard caught him :eek:

"nothing to see here mister security guard, these digestves always taste better if i bake them in here for an extra ten mins, leaves a hell of a mess though!"

trout

Henry Hoover is the one with the smiley face painted on isn't it ?
Maybe the guy thought the vacuum was leading him on ... you know ... beguiling him in some way.

You'd have to have some sympathy for him tbh ... I mean, who among us hasn't been tantalised by white goods in one way or another :rolleyes:

Sherifu

They've been making them henry hoovers sexier every year. I tried to warn them this would happen.

Hagar

That Henry Hoover is a two-timing baxtard... it's finished... end of story...

_blank_

themadchef wrote: »

my ample bum

you know the rule.

pics or it doesn't exist.

orestes

I saw a show run by the unmentionable promotion company during a certain comedy festival in Dublin last year. At one point a midget inserted his winky into a Henry Hoover and then dragged it around the stage with both arms above his head. Maybe this guy was just practicing for his audition for the show?!

monkeyfudge

Just look at those 'come to bed' eyes:

Sherifu

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Just look at those 'come to bed' eyes:

slut

Tom Dunne

Sherifu wrote: »

slut

Seductive.

Eastern european men are extremely clean though.....and they like vegetables.

Slutmonkey57b

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dxmX6KM1E8

Another devient with a hoover.

trout

The funny thing is ... someone will read this thread, and think, for the first time "there is such a thing as Hoover Porn".

And they will be pleased. And their lives will be, in a strange way, more fulfilled.

That makes me a little sad. And yet, it pleases me to know that such things go on in this vast and imponderous universe.

So, I resolve to smile my small, sad, sardonic little smile .... and FAP FAP FAP FAP away over the latest Nilfisk catalogue ... those sexy Swedish models are the best :cool:

Gaspode

give me the modern vac any day!!

Gaspode

Or for a quick hand job:

The Recliner

trout wrote: »

The funny thing is ... someone will read this thread, and think, for the first time "there is such a thing as Hoover Porn".

And they will be pleased. And their lives will be, in a strange way, more fulfilled.

That makes me a little sad. And yet, it pleases me to know that such things go on in this vast and imponderous universe.

So, I resolve to smile my small, sad, sardonic little smile .... and FAP FAP FAP FAP away over the latest Nilfisk catalogue ... those sexy Swedish models are the best :cool:

Dyson FTW, it is like mutant Hoover porn

trout

The Recliner wrote: »

Dyson FTW, it is like mutant Hoover porn

See ... when you starting getting sub-genres of porn types ... you know it's real :cool:

Suggested Wikipedia entry :

Appliance Porn, comprises of Hoover porn, which in turn is composed of "Straight Hoover porn" (featuring Henry Hoovers and the more traditional bag based suckers) and niche or crevice sub-genres such as Dyson Mutant Hoover Porn and the rarely seen but oft-mentioned T&D Norton Wet&Dry Industrial Carpet Cleanser Porn ... not for the faint-hearted :cool:

Thought to have originated in Eastern Europe at the turn of the Millenium.

monkeyfudge

Well for people who want to have heterosexual relations with a vacuum cleaner this is the model you should use:

thefinalstage

I hope that hoover uses disposable bags.

trout

thelastangryman wrote: »

I hope that hoover uses disposable bags.

Disposable FUN bags you mean

That Hetty Hoover ... she is such a tease ... apparently she can suck a golf ball up a length of garden hose :rolleyes:


I know ... I know ... the door's that way ----> where's me coat :cool:

monkeyfudge

You really could get quite the little orgy going...

Sherifu

They all look as gay as christmas.

orestes

monkeyfudge wrote: »

You really could get quite the little orgy going...

The one in the middle and the one on the right are only baby hoovers, shame on you monkey, shame

trout

orestes wrote: »

The one in the middle and the one on the right are only baby hoovers, shame on you monkey, shame

And a new Hoover Porn sub-genre raises it's ugly head ... the sordid, shocking shame of Teenie Hoover Porn ... they only make such movies in the Nordic countries, where the Hoover age of consent is 17. It's exploitative and terribly sad stuff really, and not something we should joke about.

Not like "Straight" Porn with consenting fully grown and mature Adult Hoovers ... that's different ... somehow

Zaph

Sherifu wrote: »

They all look as gay as christmas.

How can you tell what a gay hoover looks like?


My father used to work for a company that did industrial vacuum cleaners and they had some monster machines. I'd say using one of these yokes would be like hoover S&M.

DJ_Spider

One for those into Beastiality! http://www.fresh-group.com/equine-poo-hoover.htm

The videos are really interesting, could do with some funky music though!

orestes

DJ_Spider wrote: »

One for those into Beastiality! http://www.fresh-group.com/equine-poo-hoover.htm

The videos are really interesting, could do with some funky music though!

equine poo hoover

I know I shouln't click a link with those three words in it, but I just can't help it..........

Sherifu

Zaph wrote: »

How can you tell what a gay hoover looks like?

They're happy, see them smiling?

Mr. CooL ICE

orestes wrote: »

equine poo hoover

I know I shouln't click a link with those three words in it, but I just can't help it..........

ROFL!

orestes, I blame you for the tea that just came out my nose

arybvtcw0eolkf

Bloody Poles, coming over here - stealing our jobs first - then the good beers - NOW OUR HOOVER'S -- Swine's, utter swine.

DJ_Spider

I read on the front of the english Daily Mail that in the UK migrants have 85% of the jobs! But enough slagging, has anyone managed to get one of these fine specimens to buy a drink yet? or do they just drink the bar dry?! :eek:

jester77

Henry was later spotted hiding in a closet after hearing that his close friend was fired!

star-pants

jester77 wrote: »

Henry was later spotted hiding in a closet after hearing that his close friend was fired!

lol... good stuff!

I wouldn't like a Henry the hoover... I'd feel like he was watching me whilst I hoover... *shudder*.. with those EYES of his... staring...

My nilfisk does no such thing