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Am I Bi?

  • 02-03-2008 2:47am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    This may belong in sex & sexuality but you have to be signed in so hope this is ok.

    I'm a 20 year old female and I really like guys and enjoy being with them, but think I've always found girls attractive as well or at least have been curious. Have kissed two girls, one who is gay and one who.. well i don't know. Kissed the second girl amongst some other things and it was no different to me than being with a guy. Honestly didn't enjoy oral (giving) but not that much of a fan of that with guys either.

    This is not really something I would discuss with my friends. When I did tell one friend, I put it down to be really drunk at a party and laughed it off (it did happen at a party, but wasn't seriously drunk) but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Would I be right in calling myself bisexual? Any advice/thoughts appreciated, thanks.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 78,580 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    If you want, I can move your post to Lesbian & Gay & Bisexual, you can still post anonymously there.

    As to what category you are in. I don't know. I think you a young person experimenting and you need not be reaching for labels. If you really, really need a label, how about 'experimenting' or 'discovering'.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    Personally i would avoid labels. But from what you have said you have done more than kiss.

    So perhaps comfortable in same sex situations would be closer to teh mark at this stage. It is hard to say as sexuality is fluid and will change with time.

    More important is the fact that you accept you can be attracted and sexualy active with both sexes


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    Labels are very useful shortcuts.

    When I say I'm bisexual, it's a lot quicker than going into a very long description of just who I find attractive and how often. Having decided where I am on this I can see that my orientation is pretty much within the range where "bisexual" is a suitable label, so that label is handy.

    This is only really useful because I've sorted out what it is I'm using that label for. The label just gets in the way until then. Even after that it only goes so far (there's a hell of a lot of differences between different bisexuals).

    I'd say you need to re-adjust your own question to yourself as to just where you are rather than what word best fits it.

    I think you also need to consider just what the consequences are. It certainly sounds like you're bisexual to me (note, I'm not saying you definitely are, but that that's what it sounds like from the limited sense conveyed so far), but so what? What's the actual issue here? What does "bisexual" mean to you that makes this an issue?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    You never really answer this question, you just come to terms with it not mattering a whole lot. If tomorrow you decide you are bi-sexual will you be different from the person you are today?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    Since your 20 and none of us know you then none of us can give a genuine definitive answer really. But in my (unprofessional) opinion you are just experimenting


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  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    I would say, if you aren't sure, and after a bit of experience with the same sex, you still arent sure, you may well be going through the classic lipstick lesbian phase. Its quite common for sexual experimentation and claims such as this in one's college years in both genders. Has been since the dawn of time. I wouldnt concern yourself with labels but I would hazard that in most cases, it is a passing phase of sexual experimentation and until you KNOW you want to be with a woman, there is no point trying to self label or to be out and bi.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 263 ✭✭Aura


    I’ve gone through periods of confusion on this one too and have only really started experimenting properly recently and have quite a few years on you but still I’m in no rush to categorize myself at all nor do I feel the need to for the benefit of others. Do what you enjoy and stop worrying about which box that places you in. It’s not some club you have to sign up to for life and whether this is a phase or not just be comfortable with who you are in all facets of your personality. I do honestly think there's few of us 100% straight or 100% gay...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 279 ✭✭john_aero


    i think we all go through that phase. i did for a long time but your then go to think, wuld you actualy got hroug with it or would you be turned off by it.sometimes it can just be a fantacy thing


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