Being used as a chauffeur

lisajane

Iv been used as a chauffeur ever since i got my car. 2 and a half years ago. I wanted a bit of independance for myself and to some extent, it was freedom. I started to learn to drive and then i got the car.
Anyway my family just expects me to chauffeur them around the place. I was the first one in years in my family to get a car, so it was expected.
I work full time, and i honestly don't remember the last day i had off where i did nothing for the full day. Or even just half a day. Im just expected to be a chauffeur.
Im stressed out being in a job which i hate (though im trying to get new work and goin for something i always wanted to do). Im goin nowhere yet. But im not givin up. And im also stressed out while i drive. I hate driving. Every day i sit behind the wheel of the car, i come across ignorance on the road. People pulling out in front me without indicating. Being overtaken while im doing the speed limit. And just last week i was on a roundabout when a truck pulled out in front of me. I dont know if its my car or if im invinsible? Is a fiesta not worth giving right of way to with people in their fancier cars?
Iv started learning to swim and im getting myself a bike for the spring/summer. I'd rather walk, run, swim, cycle, before i would drive. And as for public transport - its useless. I would use it if it was available. And hackneys are far to expensive.

But today is just the icing on the cake. Iv had a cold all week and today i just felt like crap. Even crappier than having a cold. Just sick. I even felt dizzy in the morning. I just had to lie down. But my family just wouldn't give up with asking me to bring them in the car. I find driving stressful enough as it is, but to drive when im sick where i don't have my full concentration is just madness. They might as well just tell me to go out the back and hang myself.
Am i being unreasonable telling them to f off.

dudara

No, you are not unreasonable to tell them that you won't drive them while ill.

It seems that you are good natured, and they appear to have been taking advantage of that. They don't mean to, but they don't realise what demands they are placing on you.

LegacyUser

Your being too sensitive regarding people on the road...don't let that bother you, you are probably thinking like that because confidence is low...

As for your family, it's probably always going to be like that until you move out to be honest...but by all means, don't let them walkover you...stand up for yourself. If you don't want to do something, don't!

BigglesMcGee

Do you live with your parents?

If you do, move out. Otherwise i think you owe them a lift here and there.

If its your house then tell the rest of them to f off

watna

Did you buy the car yourself or did your parents buy it for you? Do you pay all the running costs of the car? If so, then you definitely don't owe them lifts if you don't want to. It should be a favour that you do every so often if you have time. You can say no, they can't make you get in the car and drive them. Just say no and mean it. If you've said no before and backed down then they'll know if they work on you you'll just do it.

If your parents pay the running costs of the car/bought the car for you then tell them to stop and pay for it yourself. (I only asked that because a friend of mine's parents paid her tax/nct/insurance and bought her the car so she felt she had to drive her little bro and sis everywhere - she bought her own car and pays for it herself so now feels free to stay in her pyjamas until 5pm if she wants to and not drive her sis around!)

The_Conductor

OP- I've been in your boots- I've acted as a chaffeur, and driven when I was physically unwell. It resulted in a 3 car pileup on the N4- entirely my own fault, as I should have just said "no" and accepted the consequences (I lost consciousness for a few moments, while at the wheel of a moving car- luckily no-one was seriously hurt, but it was a wake-up call).

If you are too ill to drive- do not get behind the wheel. Full stop. If there is an emergency- call the emergency services. Do not drive.

seahorse

If you'd actually prefer to walk or cycle as you say, why not just sell the car? You could use the money to set yourself up in an apt and then if, in time, you wanted to drive again you could save for a car or get a car loan - of course by then you'd be in your own place so you wouldn't be driving people all over the town as if your vehicle was a taxi minus the meter!

Overheal

watna wrote: »

Did you buy the car yourself or did your parents buy it for you? Do you pay all the running costs of the car? If so, then you definitely don't owe them lifts if you don't want to. It should be a favour that you do every so often if you have time. You can say no, they can't make you get in the car and drive them. Just say no and mean it. If you've said no before and backed down then they'll know if they work on you you'll just do it.

If your parents pay the running costs of the car/bought the car for you then tell them to stop and pay for it yourself. (I only asked that because a friend of mine's parents paid her tax/nct/insurance and bought her the car so she felt she had to drive her little bro and sis everywhere - she bought her own car and pays for it herself so now feels free to stay in her pyjamas until 5pm if she wants to and not drive her sis around!)

Says it all really. If you are paying the cost of the car yourself you might think about charging for use: I don't know anyone that doesnt ask to cough up petrol money.

Lurvely

Your not being unreasonable at all, its not fair of them to treat you like this..stand up for yourself & tell them no, its ok driving them around sometimes but not all the time, its not fair on you!