Mature,single parents.What gives??

Ireneo

I was wondering if there are any single parents out there who have returned to college after a looooooong time(14yrs!) I'm finding it hard to find a suitable course as i'm working full time. Is it a case of doing the right thing,by staying away from social welfare,and being stuck in a job i cant leave on a whim.OH MY GOD,ahhhhh.

Joe1919

Many of the colleges and universities will be having a second round of open days in the next few months and perhaps these may be worth attending. Be sure to attend any mature student seminars and get advice from AEGIS or whoever. This is how I went about it. However every person's situation is different. There are a number of difficulties that I have personally observed.
1. The financial trap i.e. not having enough money or not having grant or social welfare entitlements established before they started the course. Also check creche arrangments at school etc.
2. Picking the wrong subjects. I was concerned about this myself and opted for an Arts degree that allowed a lot of flexibility in terms of changing my subjects. Some of the VTOS Plcs are flexible here also.
3. Not getting as good a result as presupposed. Doing teaching through Arts requires quite a good result to qualify for the hDip. In my case for example, I have thought about teaching but it looks like my result (58-62%) will not be high enough. I also know several people who wanted to do Psychology through Arts but were forced to drop the subject in Second year due to not getting a good mark.
4. Finally I have yet to experience what comes at the end of my degree and how I will use whatever qualification I get.

I hope you don't pick this up too negatively. The majority of people I know who returned to education have enjoyed the experience BUT some people have been disappointed for various reasons.
Best of Luck

seahorse

Hi OP; I left school (got booted out actually:o) in 1990, when I was fourteen. My child was born a few years after that and I returned to education in 2000. I spent a year at a PLC college and got a place in DCU on the strength of the string of distinctions I got at PLC level (nobody was more surprised than me :eek: ) My child was six when I started back and eleven when I graduated.

I know there's no way I could have worked full-time alongside full-time education and raising my child single handed. :eek: I'd never have seen the child! There's no shame in claiming social welfare if at the same time you're working towards your future every day. In my opinion the single mothers who ought to be ashamed of claiming social welfare are the ones who sit on their arses popping out kids every couple of years and do not aspire to anything better.

A full time university degree is very challanging and if you do not give it your all you will simply not get decent enough a class of a degree to get you anywhere careerwise. Don't forget, your marks will be judged alongside those of others who are, most of them, not also holding down full-time jobs on top of the full-time job of raising a child alone. If anyone had had anything to say about me claiming social welfare while I was studying in college they'd have been very promptly told to fukoff.

If claiming social welfare is definitely not for you, for whatever reason, of course that's your own business. What you'll need to ask yourself then is, how flexible is your job? Is flexitime possible? Can you logically fit the degree that you want around your working hours? Would it be possible to cut your hours at all? Working towards a degree is something that will be part of your life for three or four years so you need to know that it's doable. The one thing I can tell you is that going back to college is a marvelous experience and definitely the effort you expend is more than worthwhile.

Ireneo

thanks. I know there are others out there. The course i want to do is most probably full-time and therefore i would have no choice but to leave work. The problem is that i have a mortgage so its not just a matter of making a choice to leave,its about the consequences. Its about the stigma of being a single parent(and don't say there is none!) and getting away from that by working and owning my own property, only to go back on welfare and selling my house. I'm thinking about it too much,i know.However, it is encouraging to know it can be done

Ireneo

Oh,and I have no problem with being on social welfare,i claimed it for six yrs. The point i was trying to make,that didn't come across,was that i feel like i'm being penalised for having a full time job and being independant of the state. There are steps in place if im not working and want to return to college but im in an opposite situation.Iv'e been talking about going to college for so many yrs that i'm sick listening to myself going on and on!! Is it possible to e-mail a kick up the backside!!

seahorse

Ireneo wrote: »

Oh,and I have no problem with being on social welfare,i claimed it for six yrs. The point i was trying to make,that didn't come across,was that i feel like i'm being penalised for having a full time job and being independant of the state. There are steps in place if im not working and want to return to college but im in an opposite situation.Iv'e been talking about going to college for so many yrs that i'm sick listening to myself going on and on!! Is it possible to e-mail a kick up the backside!!

It is indeed, bend over, there you go! ha ha. As to the stigma of single parenthood, oh yeah, I know all about that. Have you ever noticed there is no wide-spread stigma attatched to being a man who impregnates a woman and heads for the hills leaving her in the position of single parenthood in the first place? Funny that..:rolleyes:

As to your situation, the thing is the practicalities of it are very different from what mine were, so I don't have any personal experience to draw on in discussing them with you. I think though, that what you should probably do is look into mortgage relief and try to cut your hours somewhat (if that's possible?) Also you should contact the course coordinator on your chosen course and discuss your situation with them. The thing is, these coordinators will have heard it all before and surely there'll have been at least one person discussing similar issues with them in times past. Also remember that course deadlines are around now; my own sister missed out on the chance to apply this year because she misjudged the likely closing date by three weeks! :eek: I had been telling her to find out for sure, but she just assumed it couldnt possibly be that early: Now she's got to wait till Sep '09!

I guess reading your post I should count myself lucky because my degree was in journalism and I am freelancing now so there is great flexibility in that and I have applied to Trinity for an MA for this coming academic year, which will be doable with this kind of work. I think that really is the issue here; the type of work that you do and how to fit your work around your education. Even if it takes a lot of effort and hassle a degree is well worth having and would most likely make up for whatever stresses, even financial ones, you had to go through in the route to attaining it as a better qualification will mean a better job or better promotional opportunities where you already are.

You can send me a pm if you like and we can knock around some ideas and see what can be done or what other steps you could take. Maybe something else will come to me, I'm not feeling very inspired this afternoon!

Ireneo

heythere seahorse!
longtime and many hours wondering what the hell to do but i finally managed to secure a place in college partime! wahoo! the only disadvantage is that it will take me six yrs instead of three.just wanted to let you know,spread the joy and all that ...

leebee77

Hey there. welllllll this is a subject i could talk/rant about for many an hour!!
I am a 31 yrs old single mother with an amazing 8yr old boy. I moved to Galway, with my now ex boyfriend, from Scotland (he now lives in Canada..lucky him) I have worked hard all my life but as a single mother here its seems virtually impossible to work AND be able to pay crazy rent and childcare costs. There is absolutely no incentive or support!! I am hoping to study Hons Deg' in Social work next year and will have to move to either Cork or Dublin and I dont mind admitting im a wee bit scared and worried that due to problems with childcare etc it wont be possible. (i had to give up a place in GMIT last year due to not being able to afford.. after school care!) I have no family support network here either. It really is an absolute nightmare and i empathise totally. I know I could go back to scotland and recieve allot of support (child/work tax creds etc) but my son is settled in school here in ireland and see's Ireland as his home after 3years.
There is an unbelievable stigma to being a single parent here and it disgusts me. even amongst my friends! People who look down on you for not working, even though it is virtually impossible to do so, ought to take a look at all the single, young and healthy men and women outside Neactains every afternoon boozin away without a care in world.
ooops gettin on my high horse!
I just want to wish you the best of luck and i hope that you, I and the many others in our situation are given the opportunities and break that we deserve.