ideal girl

nikki 122

will someone please tell me what are lads looking for in a girl, i;m very confused the longest relationship i had only lasted 3 and a half months my ex was always complaining about me, like if he asked me if he could go out with his mates instead of meeting up with me i would not bat an eyelid i just said why the hell are you asking me? then he would rant about how i did not care about him, so the next time he asked me i told him i wanted to spent time with him he laughed in my face and said he did not care what i thought and he was going anyway, whats up with that??
i'm not clingy enough one minute and too clingy the next so i'm just curious, generally what makes the perfect girl???

watna

Nikki, there was a thread like this in BGRH and I'm going to give you the same answer i gave there.

Every man is looking for something different in a woman. If every man liked the same thing our species would have died out because nobody would reproduce beauuse men would only impregnate certain kind of women. You could ask this question and get answers all day from men/women but you'll be none the wiser at the end of it.

I think you need to relax and think of it that you haven't met the right man yet. He's out there though. You should start by having some confidence in yourself, there's nothing less attractive in either sex then someone who doesn't know who they are and tries to please everybody. Start thinking about what YOU want from a man not what men will want from you.

LadyJ

What makes a perfect sandwich?

watna

LadyJ wrote: »

What makes a perfect sandwich?

Lots of mayonnaise of course!

(I do get your point though!)

Niamho!

so he more or less complained that you were too easy going?? jesus it takes all sorts.... i'm baffled!!

Even if we could list what qualities you "Should" have, it wouldn't make a difference, coz if you tried all those qualities you wouldn't be yourself. and thats the worst thing....

nikki 122

watna wrote: »

Nikki, there was a thread like this in BGRH and I'm going to give you the same answer i gave there.

Every man is looking for something different in a woman. If every man liked the same thing our species would have died out because nobody would reproduce beauuse men would only impregnate certain kind of women. You could ask this question and get answers all day from men/women but you'll be none the wiser at the end of it.

I think you need to relax and think of it that you haven't met the right man yet. He's out there though. You should start by having some confidence in yourself, there's nothing less attractive in either sex then someone who doesn't know who they are and tries to please everybody. Start thinking about what YOU want from a man not what men will want from you.

thats fair enough and thanks for your honesty i'm normally very confident but that lad made me feel like s**t and its been low ever since because everything he told me was true, i just want to know where im going wrong i'm not going to change my personality or anything like that i'm not taking it too seriously! !just curious

watna

nikki 122 wrote: »

thats fair enough and thanks for your honesty i'm normally very confident but that lad made me feel like s**t and its been low ever since because everything he told me was true, i just want to know where im going wrong i'm not going to change my personality or anything like that i'm not taking it too seriously! !just curious

I see your point. We've all had exes that have made us feel like shít. It does take a while to get over. He sounds like a bit of an aresehole and I don't think it's worth you getting upset about.

You'll meet someone who likes you just as you are (Mark Darcy!) but I think you need to get some confidence first.

You should love someone because of their flaws, not in spite of them.

She Devil

I think when the time is right the right guy comes along! I split with the wrong guy after a few years of going out ... i thought id never delve into a relationship again (i held the attitude all men are b"""""S) So .......
When the time came that i was able to get back in the dating game i realised i was the fussiest person ever .. all my friends told me i would be left on the shelf because of my fussiness, i didnt care, my attitude was .. I am not settling for just anything i want my thing! My friends again didnt think my ideal man existed in any world. BUT he does ... he came into my life and i am so happy i waited, those long lonely nights were worth it!
I think have fun when you are single and dont settle for just anyone, the right guy wont make you feel like that nikki!

nikki 122

thats deep thanks maybe i should start thinking more about me .. ha id love to find a mark darcy!!

kaimera

PM sent nikki

Wow an easy going girl would be great !! In saying that , im a guy and i was dumped once because i was too easy going and my mind was too clear about what i wanted in my life and she didnt. 4 months later she was pregnant with another guy

FruitLover

Maybe it's just me, but lack of full-stops and capitals really turns me off...

(i.e. if you talk the way you type, that might explain things a bit)

nikki 122

She Devil wrote: »

I think when the time is right the right guy comes along! I split with the wrong guy after a few years of going out ... i thought id never delve into a relationship again (i held the attitude all men are b"""""S) So .......
When the time came that i was able to get back in the dating game i realised i was the fussiest person ever .. all my friends told me i would be left on the shelf because of my fussiness, i didnt care, my attitude was .. I am not settling for just anything i want my thing! My friends again didnt think my ideal man existed in any world. BUT he does ... he came into my life and i am so happy i waited, those long lonely nights were worth it!
I think have fun when you are single and dont settle for just anyone, the right guy wont make you feel like that nikki!

jesus dont think ill last a few years but ill do my best because there is no point in going out with someone just for the sake of it!!

TerrorFirmer

I actually think a big part of these mis-matches and then often perceived as failures on their own part by is the way in which people readily date people despite a glaring lack of a true spark, be it out of a inexperience, a drought period, or a desire to just be settled... or whatever.

I've only ever gone out with two girls, both of them were long term (and the better one still is :P) and both of them I knew quite well before we dated, so we had that chance to get to know each other and realize we did have a lot in common and worked well as a couple. There are, even if this sounds like a total clichee, too many couples that don't truly 'get each other'.

I'm not saying that that is definitely applicable in your case, but maybe take a step back and look at the type of guy you're dating - unless you have a specific nasty trait that you're aware of yourself that causes conflict in relationships, I'd peg your 'problem' down to mere incompatibility of interests or dare I say, just a plain and simple dickhead.

There is always an ideal partner out there for everyone, just because you don't fit one mans criteria doesn't mean you should change to accommodate a short term commitment that is probably doomed already.

She Devil

I would have waited forever! I always had in my mind that "I'm not a charity" !!! How terrible! But i'm not and honestly the wait is worth it, don't be anybodies doormat! I have friends who get treated like dog muck, because their boyfriends know they can get away with it!

watna

kaimera wrote: »

PM sent nikki

kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

Tbh he just sounds like a needy lad who hasnt matured properly. He wasnt right for u obviously so no need to worry. The ideal girl for me is one who gets my sense of humour, is up for a laugh, shares some of my interests but is also independent and not clingy OR too withdrawn. Id love to travel so somebody who likes travel would be great too. Thats for me. For the next guy it would be completely different.

Dont bog yourself down tryin to be someones ideal OH. Be yourself and find someone who loves that and someone who's comfortable enough around u to be themselves and you're winnin.

kaimera

watna wrote: »

kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

I had to wiki him

No, I'm better looking.

Weidii

As someone else said, stop thinking about what they want and start looking for what you want.

Iago

nikki 122 wrote: »

will someone please tell me what are lads looking for in a girl, i;m very confused the longest relationship i had only lasted 3 and a half months

my wife had one teenage relationship that lasted over a year, between then and meeting me 10 years later her longest relationship was about 3-4 dates.

it'll happen when it's meant to happen, with who it's meant to happen with.

Everybody is looking for something different so you're not going to get a direct answer that fits all here.

kevmy

Yeah everyone wants something different. Just to say the thing I find most annoying about some girls is the fakeness. I hate girls who are fake and trying to fit into something they're not. I suppose be yourself is what I'm trying to say. It's definitely a quality in the girl I'm lookin for.

Other qualities would be (totally personal choice here not meant to be a guy's dream or anything): smart, relatively easy going, good craic, no pushovers they gotta be able to think for themselves, obviously relatively attractive, not pretentious.

Edit:

kaimera wrote:

I had to wiki him

Your not alone there

Jackz

watna wrote: »

kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

Isn't one of the points of that book that you have a perception of who the right person for you is but it all goes out the window when you meet someone and there is a spark?

Crazy Catlady

The most important question is What are YOU looking for?
When we get dumped, its cos we're not what someone else is looking for. I think that's fair enough. It can be unpleasant, but who wants to be in a an ok-ish relationship, when you can be in a deadly one?
And how will you know your in one, and your needs are being met, if you don't know what you want?
Its not a selfish thing to decide what is and isn't acceptable.
Its an important thing. Some things are non negotiable. Some are workable. Spend some time on your own, and see if the next person who comes along is for good enough for you, rather than if you're good enough for them.

gamer

An ideal woman would be kind gentle ,good sense of humour,intelligent, polite,easy going,well dressed,feminine, with her own interests,articulate,confident,independent,honest,does not drink to excess or use drugs.NOT bossy or bad tempered or neurotic.PERSONALITY IS MORE important than anything,most men prefer curvy women to thin women.I GIVE NATALIE PORTMAN AS AN EXAMPLE RE PERSONALITY.Actually caroline moyhahan from the clothes show has a nice personality.

Black Swan

Make sure he wears rose shaded glasses?

kaimera

Actually caroline moyhahan from the clothes show has a nice pair of personalities

Fixed that for ya

nikki 122

watna wrote: »

kaimera is Mark DArcy?!! :eek:

hold the phone ... what you mean


and thanks for all the replies and in response to crazy cat lady i've dated all types (for short peroids) and still haven't found what i'm looking for..from the non-attractive shy lad to the loud hot guy .. many in between .. i know i'm young but its all getting a bit old! !

oh and high expectations there gamer!!

Dragan

I could write a massive list of things that would make the ideal girl for me, but thats the problem, it would be the ideal girl for me!

You don't want to be something your not....just be yourself and eventually you will find you ideal man and because the universe can be a joyous quirky place it will turn out that you are his ideal girl.

nikki 122

everyone says that but i have yet to find a guy that is interested in finding an ideal girl , maybe its just my age group i'm going to start dating older mature men if all teenage lads are just horndogs!!!!

watna

nikki 122 wrote: »

everyone says that but i have yet to find a guy that is interested in finding an ideal girl , maybe its just my age group i'm going to start dating older mature men if all teenage lads are just horndogs!!!!

but when you're a teenager most people aren't looking to settle down and get married etc so you can't really blame the boys. A lot of people on here who you see have lovely boyfriends and are happy would be a good bit older and have been in your situation when we were younger. Enjoy it while you can. Don't be in a rush to find a man to stay with, take your time. I wouldn't have liked to meet my OH too young (I was 22 when I met him which is young enough). There's plenty of time for finding the man who thinks you're his ideal girl.

nikki 122

i hate to admit it but you are right, but i'm not being clear enough i don't mind not having a relationship i just want to meet a nice guy that i have things in common with and someone to make me laugh and cheer me up when i've had a bad day thats not too much to ask is it???

watna

nikki 122 wrote: »

i hate to admit it but you are right, but i'm not being clear enough i don't mind not having a relationship i just want to meet a nice guy that i have things in common with and someone to make me laugh and cheer me up when i've had a bad day thats not too much to ask is it???

I understand, but surely you have good friends who can do this too?

Are you still in school or in college? I didn't meet any nice boys til I went to college (not that I didn't love my male school mates but there were all mates)

nikki 122

yeah but can you make out with your friends? i think not . . but seriously .. i'm in college and the only nice lads i've met are the guys on this site!!

nikki 122

nikki 122 wrote: »

yeah but can you make out with your friends? i think not . . but seriously .. i'm in college and the only nice lads i've met are the guys on this site!!

Dont judge a man (or woman) by their e-persona!

kaimera

Deleted User wrote: »

Dont judge a man by his e-persona!

Very true but whilst one should heed the warning, we're not all bad in real life

kaimera

kaimera wrote: »

Very true but whilst one should heed the warning, we're not all bad in real life

Well Im not but u hear stories!! :D:D

Lola123

IMO, the only time people end up in good relationships, are when they are happy being by themselves. They like themselves, treat others well and treat themselves well and they don't have any major hang-ups that they are trying to fix by going out with someone.
In short, there's no point in asking what someone's ideal woman is and trying to live up to that because it will soon become obvious that that's not who you are.

Tar.Aldarion

Smart, funny, small, thin ...with lots of fire power.

That's what I need right there.

LadyJ

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

Smart, funny, small, thin ...with lots of fire power.

That's what I need right there.

Let's cut the crap! Avril Lavigne would suffice.

Tar.Aldarion

Does she have lots of fire power?
Ah, I'll have her anyway, I have enough fire power for the both of us...ahem.

helimachoptor

I dont think there is an ideal girl.

First serious GF was great but i was 18-22. We ended badly but talk occasionally now. Looking back she was a great person but have moved past that and wouldnt be interested in her now.

Next girl had it all from outward appearance. Really really attractive(punched way above my weight class for her!) but was about as exciting as a wet blanket when we finally got a relationship started.

Next girl really liked very self confident very abrupt but also a total sweetie but for various reasons it didnt work out.

Current Gf, we bounce of each other well and I can make her laugh a lot.

You will not find someone that ticks all the boxes but aslong as they tick enough boxes for you to be happy then its ok.

Lola123

Lola123 wrote: »

IMO, the only time people end up in good relationships, are when they are happy being by themselves. They like themselves, treat others well and treat themselves well and they don't have any major hang-ups that they are trying to fix by going out with someone.
In short, there's no point in asking what someone's ideal woman is and trying to live up to that because it will soon become obvious that that's not who you are.

Well said, thats about it right there. What you should really be worried about is your ideal person not your OH's. If u be yourself and they stay with u then you're winning.

Bottle_of_Smoke

slim/confident/funny

Bottle_of_Smoke

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

slim/confident/funny

slim confident funny axe murderer

bluewolf

bluewolf wrote: »

slim confident funny axe murderer

slim confident funny axe murdering poet loner with a love of the outdoors and a fetish for chocolate body paint.......... Perfection!

HoLLLLLaments

Must speak at least two foreign Languages fluently
Must proficiently play at least one musical instrument
Must have some combat/martial arts training
Must have two constantly available modes of transport
Must have minimal family or loved ones
Must be interested in time travel

If interested Pm me....No time wasters or tire kickers

Goodluck2me

HoLLLLLaments wrote: »

Must be interested in time travel...

time wasters

why would it matter? surely this is a trick question? did I win?

call me....x

Goodluck2me

bluewolf wrote: »

slim confident funny axe murderer

Well im not skinny.... but if its an O.N.O then PM me...

Grinderman

Be Yourself

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

Well said, thats about it right there. What you should really be worried about is your ideal person not your OH's. If u be yourself and they stay with u then you're winning.

I agree lola123 has it pretty much nailed. Be you first. Love is a funny thing though. I've been attracted to quite a few women in my time, but I've only loved two. What attracted me to them, I could witter on about for a while, but as others have said, what did it for me maybe wouldn't do it for others. All I can say is I learned from them and they made me the man I am today(such as that is:D).

Jules

I would have to say i agree with the posts about being happy with ourself first. I was in a shity relationship for nearly a year and a half on and off, guy was a complete Wanker, and i stayed cuz i was afraid of being alone, sad i know but when your not the prettiest or most confident of girls you sometimes settle for second best. But it got really bad and well it finished and i was terrified, and i started out saying i need to find someone else, im gonna die alone, i needed validation, and i thought you could only get that by being with someone. But as time went on i got more comfortable with myself and finding someone became less and less important. Till eventually i was happy spending time with my family and friends and jsut being me. And then all of a sudden i met a guy on boards (just pointing out that you said the only nice guys you met where on here, whats wrong with meeting someone here, if its met to happen it will). ANd a year and a half later we are living together and i am the happiest i have been in a long long time.

Take your time, live your life, be happy with yourself and it will happen.. Trust me!