No Trust?

LegacyUser

Hi Guy's,

I went out on Friday night to a old mates 21'st and since I was heading the same way, another old friend of mine said she'd get a taxi up with me she lives just down the road, before we left she came up for a drink. I'd said I wouldn't be long gone and my girlfriend came up to my house and I said she could bring a few friend and drink etc while I'm gone which was fine, when she csme up and seen my other mate she started getting tacky with me, I left and went out and immediatly start getting texts "Who's she?!" etc, she knows who she is and that we've been friends for years and years. I had a good night and ended up going to another birthday aswell to a another old friend, when I get home she started at me saying I was off sleeping with the other girl, and i'm this that and the other. This went on for two days, she says she doesn't trust me at all and that I'm not to have any female friends over in my house without her knowing first.

I admit we've been together 3 years and I cheated on her twice in the first 3 month's and we've had our problems but I've grown up alot since then and I like seeing my old friends but anytime it happens I get this. Aswell as that I know her mates that I allowed come over are telling her i'm a terrible bf and can't wait to get off with her but I trust her so I don't mind this and i'm cival to them and everything where as she is totally rude to any of my female friends.

She's now sending me 300 word emails telling me she doesn't trust me and knows I'm cheating on her etc etc, she was threatning to come up my house at one in the morning last night when I was asleep and break this and that unless I talked to her and she knew I had to be up at 6 for work. I don't think I can take it anymore. Bottom line can I be truly happy with someone who had no trust in me?

TheDriver

I think you know the answer to all this yourself. Your also young and presume she is too, talk to her about it and be reasonable but at the end, its your happiness and maybe she can't get over your cheating days.............

the dee

"Bottom line can I be truly happy with someone who had no trust in me?"

No, you can't be. She's way out of line here and is starting to sound a bit crazy. Maybe you'd be better off without her. Do you really need that kind of complicated relationship? You can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you.

togster

Well you reap what you sow. You cheated on her albeit at the early stage. Still doesn't make it right. I don't blame her at all and if i were you i would try and see her point of view. Sit her down and talk. Explain that you have changed and if its going to work she needs to either stop mis-trusting you.

In my humble opinion what you need to do is evaluate how important staying with this lass is to you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 like.

Closer to 1 and it's time to move on.
Your previous history of going off with a different lass whilst going out with your current GF suggests it's closer to 1 than 6 to me.
I don't know you though so you have to make up your mind yourself obviously.
Theres plenty of fish in the sea and if you see yourself as a philanderer more so than being tied down at this juncture in your life then so be it,it's your decision.

Personally if it were me,unless I was head neck and heels in love or something,I'd not stay in a relationship where theres trust issues.
You are meant to be happy and it ain't worth the hassle.
Your call.

Tobias Greeshman

Ok she's acting very immature, and quite plainly doesn't trust you, even after 3 years together. I think you really should try and see it from her point of view, you cheated twice on her at the early stages of her relationship. So I'll imagine because of this the girl has serious trust issues. Having you flaunting around your female friends certainly didn't help matters. Especially when you went off to another friends birthday.

I can't believe she stuck with you this long after you doing the dirt on her. She obviously doesn't have much of any trust in you, especially when you're around females, and she's not there.

The bottom line is no you can't, if she doesn't trust you then she'll always resent you having any female friends, and you'll end up fighting constantly over this. I think one of you should do the decent thing and break up, because I doubt there's any chance for happiness for either of ye in this relationship.

LegacyUser

Thanks for reply's, well I mean when I cheated on her I didn't sleep with anyone, and I was 16 years old I know that doesn't make it right though and can see why she wouldn't trust me, but I try to help her with everything she does in life and support her but she puts alot of pressure on me. I had a talk with her about this and said it might be best if we go our seperate ways if she cannot trust me but she then says sorry and begs me to stay with her, but it's very suffocating on me it's not only my female mates she gets jealous of anything I do that doesn't involve her, it's like should be filling out a permission slip.

TPD

Ultimatum time: Tell her you need the freedom to socialise with your friends, and if she cant give you that, you cant stay together.

NortSoide

From what you said, I don't think you can really fix this.
I think it's time you handed her a P45 before she melts your head completely.

Overheal

macra wrote: »

I admit we've been together 3 years and I cheated on her twice in the first 3 month's

This where I stopped reading.

She doesn't trust you and from the sound of it that is not ever going to change regardless of any improvements on your half. This one's over.

Placebo

although she is being a bit unreasonable after 3 years, you have to realise you did cheat on her at the start which crippled the trust and it takes time to build it back and some people just cant forget.