Quick Un's

rocky25

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the Third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their Situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'
'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two.'
'I agree,' says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?'
'Anything, Father.'

'I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours.'
'Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm.'

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
'Sister, would you mind if I touched them?' She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

'Father, could I ask something of you?'
'Yes, Sister?'
'I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?'
'I suppose that would be OK,' the Priest replied lifting his robe.
'Oh Father, may I touch it?'
The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

'Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life.'
'Is that true Father?'

'Yes, it is, Sister.'




'Oh Father, that's wonderful ... Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!'
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There's this guy named Jack, and he has a girlfriend named Wendy.
Jack loves Wendy a lot, and decides to ask her to marry him.

And to prove how much he loves her, he goes and gets "Wendy" tattooed on his penis, to show her how much that he loves her.

When it's erect, is says her name, and when deflated, it reads "Wy"
So, there doing it the next night, and when she sees her name on his
masculine member, he pops the question, and she accepts.

They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once down there, they decided to try out all of the local culture, including a nude beach.
So, they go to the beach, and are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and go and get something to drink at the bar down the beach.

So, he walks over to the bar, with his deflated muscle, trying not to
let his eye wander, hence embarrassment to himself.
He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, and while making the drink, he notices that the guy, also naked for obvious reasons, has "Wy" tattooed on his penis as well.

So Jack asks the guy, "Hey, do you have a girlfriend named 'Wendy' and
her name tattooed on your dick too?"

And the bartender looks down at Jack's thing, back to his and starts
laughing and says,
"No mon. Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a
nice day."
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An old fellow was celebrating 92 years on this Earth.

He spoke To his toes. "Hello, toes!" he said, "How are you, toes?
You know, you are 92 today.
Oh, the times we've had! Remember we walked in the park in
summer every Sunday afternoon.
The times we waltzed on the dance floor?
Happy Birthday, toes!"

"Hello, knees," he continued. "How are you, knees? You
know you're 92 today. Oh, the times we've had!
Remember when we marched in the arade?
Oh the hurdles we've jumped together.
Happy Birthday knees!"

Then, he looked down at his crotch.
"Hello Willie!
You little bugger,




if you were alive today,
you'd be 92.
______________________________________________________________________
CHILD: Dad, where did I come from?

DAD: Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!..

Listen... Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net.

I set up a meeting with your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafe.

Then, mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when dad was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall.

Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel,
I just carried on doing the upload.

Nine months later,

the damn virus appeared!.

CHILD: Huh?
______________________________________________________________
Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down.

His secretary walked up to him and asked, "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?"

This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his Office looking a bit puzzled.

When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up. He zipped up and remembering what his Secretary had told him, finally understood.

He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary.

When he reached her desk, He said, "When you saw the garage door open did you see my Jaguar parked in there?"

The secretary smiled for a moment and said, "No, Boss I didn't.
All I saw was a Lada 800 with 2 flat tires."