The Sailor

Hagar

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!"

The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain.

Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.

The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result.

He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back.

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor.

"What on earth have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief.

"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"












Taxi !!!

mickrourke

Don't worry Hagar, I'll get the fair for you, just put it on my account

Oliverdog

Modify the following to suit this thread ...

As punishment, the sailor had to paint the back end of all the lifeboats.
After an hour, the skipper came to check on his work.
"Have you finished already?" he said.
"Sir! I've left no stern untoned!"

"But there's bird-sh*t all over the paintwork!"
"I know - I can't keep them away"
"Throw rocks at them! I'll be back again!"

After an hour, back comes the skipper.

"That's better - have you got rid of those ****e-hawks?"

"Sir! I've left no tern unstoned!"




Water taxi!

Capt'n Midnight

I knew the lad, used to carry a bar of soap with him everywhere. So if he fell overboard he'd get washed ashore.

Then there was the ship carrying yo-yos, it sank 412 times.

Homer

I once knew a musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship and he was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band.
Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."

RoyalMarine

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Then there was the ship carrying yo-yos, it sank 412 times.

+1

rocky25

Hagar wrote: »

A The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.

How do you toss off a Bird???

RoyalMarine

rocky25 wrote: »

How do you toss off a Bird???

with 2 fingers