Mother who won't come with me to bridal shop

debzcar

Hi all,

my mother won't accompany me to my first appointment at a bridal shop to try and find a dress. She has a hair appointment that clashes and refuses to change her appointment and says that I should change mine. What should I do...:mad:

americandude

Its early in the morning for me but... tell her to f**k off!
You only get married once she can get her hair done anyday of the week!

debzcar

You are completely right, my fella's mam has said that she'll come with me, which is really nice. I think though that this could lead to a huge arguement on the day. Am I better to just go by myself and not trust my mother to help with anything?

debzcar

By on the day, I mean the wedding itself. His mam squares up to my mam... not a pretty picture!

Beruthiel

Why are you getting yourself in such a tizzy over this?
Ask someone else to go with you.

debzcar

I'm getting myself into a tizzy, because I thought that as I'm the only daughter in the family, that she'd might like to be there. Maybe I am blowing this out of all proportion. What does everybody think.

foxy06

I would be pretty p!ssed off too but I wouldn't really want her there anyway. If you normally have a good relationship with your mother then the fact that you are bring your fiances mother will really annoy her so Iwould just see what happens......bet she changes her mind

biZrb

Yes, you're overreacting a bit.

Its you first trip of many to look for dresses, you'll spend most of your first trip just seeing what types of dresses there are out there.
It will take a few trips to find what you are looking for and thats when you'll need people with you to give you opinions on your choice. So don't worry about it!

Ruu_Old

Ask someone else as mentioned but tell your Mam you would rather if she could come along, family is important in these events.

harmoboxer

I went on my own and brought my mam to the second look It was easier as I had an idea of what I liked and it cut down on the comments! I am an only girl too and so used to doing stuff my own. You will know immediately when you find the right dress.

How Strange

I think you are over reacting a teeny bit.

Yes, you are looking for your wedding dress but everyone elses life shouldn't have to revolve around yours for the duration of your wedding plans.

In the big scheme of things I'm sure your mam will be there when she is really needed but you are only going to look for a dress. When you have seen some that you like then ask her to come along with you for a second opinion.

TargetWidow

My mam was passed away by the time I got married, and a good thing too because even though I loved her dearly she was a great woman for being odd like your own mam seems to be doing. She would have made it really difficult with the oddness. You need no more than one or two level headed practical people with you. Pick someone who has good dress sense that you like how they always turn on the glitz for these things and one other person. I brought my sister who used to manage a bridal shop and is a guru in these things (she rang ahead and told them what dresses to have ready for me to try on ...dress number 2 was THE ONE!!) and my other sister who was a bridesmaid, very close to me at the time (drove me psychotic with bridesmaid dress demands though just 3 weeks before the big day - ended up buying 4 bridesmaid dresses just to keep the peace!!)

So my distilled wisdom is as follows. Dont get into game playing. There will be many hours spent trying on dresses. Try not to let it all make you nuts. It will if you let it. When you find the dress there will be an opportunity to let your mam see you in it if she chooses to make herself available for that. If not, move on. Dont be held hostage. Far too much potential for family lunacy in weddings - someone has to be the sensible one. Let that be you.

pow wow

I don't think you're overreacting at all, I think it's unusual that your mother won't cancel a hair appointment to come and look at wedding dresses with her only daughter (unless she's always like that?!). Don't get upset about it though, she might not think it's as a big a deal to you as it is, parents sometimes don't get it. Have a great day and ask her along next time

debzcar

Thank you all for getting back to me! Trust me on this one - I do not expect the whole world to revolve around me for the wedding, bridezilla I'm not! Maybe this happening has been bit of a wake up call for me - don't depend on anybody and just get on with it myself! Anyway it's time to stop wondering what's going through her head 'cos that could seriously mess me up! So off to the bridal shop by myself and just go with the flow.

TargetWidow: thanks for the great advice, I am probably better off without her there.

batman2000

What about your bridesmaids....I'm sure your bringing them along...My Fiancee brought hers along to look for dresses....thankfully (for them) it didn't take too long

debzcar

I had my first bridal appointment in my home town on Saturday, without Mother dearest... and trust me on this one... her hair-do wasn't all that great! Miaow!

Batman2000 - thanks for the advice, I've another appointment here where I'm living and my bridesmaid is coming with me, but she's insisting on putting me into a meringue first of all! Sounds like that could be the beginning of a new thread: Bridesmaids who insist on making you look crap!:D At least we'll have bit of a laugh and as taking photos is a no-no in these places, there'll be no evidence of my fashion faux-pas!

Gumbyman

Tell your Mam that if she doesn't show up she's fired.

cookiequeen

Grow up she has plans, just because you're getting married doesn't mean the whole world has to stop and wait around for you. As others have posted if she's odd about it the day will only get worse anyway.

Go on your own or with a friend. Narrow it down. Then get your Mum to come along at a time that is convenient for you both.

You're gona get way too stressed over this whole planning process if you're moaning like this at the first hurdle

Enii

Think bit much of you to expect your mam to cancel plans and drop everything to go view dresses with you. Take a friend or go on your own. Bring your mam when you have narrowed it down to 2 special dresses so she doesn't have to tie up her day for hours.

Toots

I know I'd be really upset if my mum didn't come with me to look at my wedding dress. If something really important came up which meant she couldn't come, or she had an appointment which was important like a doctor's appointment or something, of course I'd understand. But if she was just going to get her hair done and wouldn't come then I'd be pissed. TBH tho, I doubt my mum would ever do something like that. OP, if I were you I'd just go ahead and pick your dress without her help and don't bother asking her to any other dress shopping sessions.

barbiegirl

I agree with Toots85 I'd be really upset. Picking the wedding dress is important as a bonding between mother and daughter. The whole wedding process is emotional. Still I guess it's better for her not to be there if she is going to be there with a face on.