Baby taking up all ur time

LegacyUser

I am at this stage in life mid 30's and everyone around me seems to be having kids and once they do "its over" all they do is moan moan moan they there are no enough hrs in the day, I have au-paired and 1 child does not take up ur time 24/7.

I would love to her how mums cope and what they get up to????????

dudara

Not a PI -> moved to Parenting

embee

1976 1976 wrote: »

I am at this stage in life mid 30's and everyone around me seems to be having kids and once they do "its over" all they do is moan moan moan they there are no enough hrs in the day, I have au-paired and 1 child does not take up ur time 24/7.

I would love to her how mums cope and what they get up to????????

Becoming a parent fundamentally changes everyone, no matter how much they resist it. When people say "its over", often times they mean that their lives before parenthood has gone forever, and they are right to say that.

Children take up a lot of time, a lot of money, and will break your heart with joy and sadness, but they are worth it, because they are part of you. The huge responsibility of becoming a parent is more than just feeding, clothing and loving them - its teaching them about the world, about who they are now and who they could become, and helping them find their path in life. To this extent, parenting doesn't end. If (God forbid) my daughter died tomorrow, I'd be her mother forever - having a child has changed me. For the better I hope. I don't gaze wistfully back at my pre-parent days and pine for what once was. I had a good old time when I wasn't a parent, I did a lot of what I wanted to do. I didn't do it all, but having a child won't stop me from doing stuff I still want to do (like travelling), it will just postpone it.

Personally, becoming a parent has solidified in my mind what I want to do with my life and career. I went to college in September to start a degree in Midwifery. Always wanted to do it, but having a child really polarised in my own mind that I need and want to do something for both of our futures.

High&Low

1976 1976 wrote: »

I am at this stage in life mid 30's and everyone around me seems to be having kids and once they do "its over" all they do is moan moan moan they there are no enough hrs in the day, I have au-paired and 1 child does not take up ur time 24/7.

I would love to her how mums cope and what they get up to????????

There is a big difference between being responsible for a child for a set period of time (being an au-pair) and being a parent, and unless you are a parent it is quiet difficult to see this.

tulipandthistle

I have worked with children for 16 years and I used to have the same thoughts about becoming a Mum, having children was not for me, boring! We got a very unexpected surprise about 3 years ago when we discovered I was expecting. We used to go out partying 5 days do whatever, whenever, having a child was not in the planning.
Now we have a lively nearly 2 and a half year old and yes our lives have changed dramatically but I feel our lives are enriched, it's not over. It is tough sometimes and there aren't enough hours in the day but hey so what! I breastfed until recently and felt I had to fight my own corner sometimes because of negative comments I received all the way through the breastfeeding experience. I started childminding when he was 3 months old, pretty tough with sleepless nights but then you learn all about auto pilot. When he started sleeping through at 19 months, having a good nights sleep felt alien to me, then I would wake three times a night.
But all that doesn't matter, the whole being a Mother experience is something that won't be justified by description. Every day I look at our boy in wonder and pure love (even during tantrums).
If it's not for you, then fair enough, it's a shame your friends aren't enjoying their children- it's tough sometimes but boy it is worth it, our son brings us so much joy!!!

kelle

tulipandthistle wrote: »

IIf it's not for you, then fair enough, it's a shame your friends aren't enjoying their children- it's tough sometimes but boy it is worth it, our son brings us so much joy!!!

I'm sure OP's friends enjoy being parents too. But, like everything else in life it has it's negatives, as has been pointed out in the previous replies.
Yes it's tough, yes I have hankered for my "childless" days back (I miss ski-ing holidays but I know I can start going again once youngest reaches 3, also Post Natal Depression took a lot out of me), but I live my life through my children. I love them so much I would never want to go back to life without them.

nesf

1976 1976 wrote: »

I would love to her how mums cope and what they get up to????????

Mums? The day that the man got away from working at the coalface of child rearing are long gone!

BostonB

1976 1976 wrote: »

I am at this stage in life mid 30's and everyone around me seems to be having kids and once they do "its over" all they do is moan moan moan they there are no enough hrs in the day, I have au-paired and 1 child does not take up ur time 24/7.

I would love to her how mums cope and what they get up to????????

I think that some kids are more demanding than others. So I would be slow to draw comparisons as if my own experience was typical of others. The adage all kids are different is very true IMO.

Gillie

nesf wrote: »

Mums? The day that the man got away from working at the coalface of child rearing are long gone!

QFT!

My little girl is the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Life Changing and well worth it!