I'n the Chief Bridesmaid - What the hell do I do?

DetectivFoxtrot

I am delighted to be asked to be bridesmaid for my best friend but I think she's becoming mildly irritated about my approach to the whole thing (she hasn't said anything but we can sorta read each other minds!).. I'm already married (incidentally to her brother!) but we eloped and got married ona beach - the way I think weddings should be IMO but I know everyone's different. The thing is I don't know what I'm meant to do in the lead up to the wedding.. I've been to all to the dress fittings etc but should I be doing more.??.. am I to organise the hens and all that - I'm not being lazy - I really just haven't a clue! HELP

Blush_01

Yeah, I'd imagine the hen is your baby! That's the way it's been for any of the ladies I know who've gotten married recently.

Find out from all your friends if they'd be interested in going somewhere for a weekend. The last few hens I've been on have been in Latvia, Majorca etc. and the next one is in England. They've been good fun, but very drink orientated. You could try the whole spa break thing too. Unless she'd freak about not knowing what was going on, have it as a surprise. I guess it all depends on how much you guys can all afford and what the norm is amongst her groups of friends.

barbiegirl

Your job is to organise the hens, go to dress fittings, help with second opinions on anything she asks from flowers, to invites, help with writing invites if she asks, on the day making sure she has everything she needs, carry some hairclips, a tiny sewing kit and some pins, just in case, but generally it's pretty easy.
Keep smiling and keep her from getting stressed.

TargetWidow

Look out for wedding fairs, let her know when and where they're on and be prepared to go with her to them. Get her fitted properly for her bridal bra. Ask her if there is anything on her to-do list she would like some help with. Be prepared to wear whatever she wants you to wear for the bridesmaid dress and let her decide on your hair & accessories. My CBM organised my hen at the greyhound track as we were on a budget but we had a ball, a limo there, limo back to the hostel (yea hostel it was FANTASTIC we all woke up in the one big room the next day - hilarious hangover photos!) got changed and went out to a club. She then drove me nuts changing her mind about the BM dress just 3 weeks before the day and pulling sulks. I bought more dresses to keep the peace but was out of pocket and getting fed up of the attitude. Remember its her big day.

Make sure she gets to bed nice and early the night before the big day. Be prepared to liaise with the photographer as to who is who. The photographer will be strictly against the clock once the ceremony is over. Help get people together for group shots (or get people out who arent meant to be in them.) I ended up hoarse roaring for people to come into photos on my wedding day. i would have loved a bit of help with that.

Give her lots of cuddles and encouragement and as others have said carry a little emergency kit. Needle the white thread is essential for when some drunken idiot inevitable stands on her dress while dancing and breaks the loop that holds up her train. She will LOVE you if you fix this!!

DetectivFoxtrot

thanks folks! going by what you've said above I reckon I'm doing alright - have done all the dress fittings. Also my dress was bought on the internet and we're not sure yet if it'll even fit but I'm not bothered at all - whatever she want me to wear I'll wear it

The sewing kit is a great idea

Re the hens , she wants 2, one here fr the oul wans (mother, mother in law etc) and one is Spain for a weekend with friends etc. She seems to have the Spain one sorted but the one here isn't organised yet. Any ideas?? I don't like the whole Temple Bar thing TBH (but remembering that it's NOT MY hens that doesn't matter!!) ...... or the Spa thing is a bit boring.... and I KNOW she won't like the track.....

TargetWidow

Bearing in mind that the hen party is supposed to be a little bit raucous and remind the bride that shes about to "lose her freedom" and working off the assumption that she doesnt list binge drinking as a hobby....

1. Murder Mystery weekend (round the 200 per person for 2 nites incl B&B & 1 nites dinner.
2. Paintballing....say no more... 1 last chance to have a proper pop at the mother in law!! You could even do Stags Vs Hens
3. Riverboat.... Available in Dublin and Belfast, or along the Shannon (but go easy on the jars you dont wanna crash it!
4.Comedy Festival Weekend ... loads of them coming up so you'd need to get booking. Tickets to Tommy Tiernan will buy you alot of leeway on Bridesmaid Dresses!!
5.Ann Summers Party...... for purely educational purposes of course!
6. Rent out a cinema (there's one small one in Dublin that does this... very classy place I hear)
7.Cooking weekend ... some very famous places do these, make chocolate willies (or whatever) all day then stay in B&B (dull enough really)
8.Farmers Wife Day (there are places that let you get all mucky like this then you get to eat in a nice restaurant and stay in a lovely B&B)
9. Hire a Tarot reader or other psychic.... religious elders may not like this one but it'd be a good laugh.
10.Pole Dancing Masterclass (I wouldn't invite the mother-in-law to this one!)

A few notes on other hen bits...
Dress code... step away from the cowboy hats .. you'll get in no-where.
Same goes for hen T-Shirts etc, my clever bridesmaid had us all come dressed in our choice of either red or black. She then tastefully kitted us out with devils horns (sequinned and expensive NOT battery operated and dingy) for the girls in red, and bunny tails and cuffs and ears for those in black.. Went down a BOMB with my extremely conservative sisters in law.
Made for excellent photos too!!! Easily hidden for bouncers and put back on when you are safely in.

Dublin/ Cork/Belfast/Killarney all good hen nites. Galway - dull- not much to do other than drink and eat.

That's EVERYTHING I can think of for you. Theres something there for all tastes and budgets.Good luck.xx

TargetWidow

Get her to go for LOADS of trials of her hair, her makeup and her fake tan and lash extensions if she's having them.

Here's where I fell down. Dont let her wait till the week of the wedding to get her first bikini wax!!!!! Your tub of Sudocreme should never be your best friend on honeymoon!!!!!!!

polercise

If you so happen to decide to go to Letterkenny - check out www.polerciseltd.com to start of your evening with a pole dance party - great craic - wine reception, nibbles, party games and onto the pole We also have venues in Belfast, Derry and Banbridge

Gettin' Hitched

You poor thing!!!! Have a look at this website www.hen-party.ie. Loads of ideas on it and you'll be grand!