In praise of mammys

Oryx

I saw a friend of mine today on the school run. Shes same age as me (not young) with two kids already, and waiting to pop her third next week. There she was at nine this morning with her youngest on her hip, dropping her eldest in to class, looking fit as a fiddle, hair done, fabulous. It made me think of what tough and capable creatures us women are. We sure can cope with a lot and still look good.

So a big clap on the back for all the mammies.:)

embee

Fair play to your friend I suppose.

On a personal level though, I wouldn't look at a group of three Mammys and say the one who is most dolled up is in someway better than the others. I wouldn't be envious at all... a lot of the time these Mammies look like they've got it all under control, but the reality is that they probably have to get up before the kids to get the hair done and the face on.

I know that I don't feel any better about myself just because I've got my hair done or make up on.

babyboom

Well, I'm a mammy of three and I always shower, do my hair and my make-up every morning. It only takes an extra 15 minutes to make a bit of an effort and it definately makes me feel better about myself. I think its good for the kids to see that mammy hasn't let herself go and likes to look nice for daddy too. My kids are definately a handful but I do my best for them in every way so my "make-up" routine doesn't get in the way of that (one is dyslexic, one had a severe speach/comprehension delay). Sometimes I think some mammies who look a bit down trodden give the impression that they work harder at looking after their kids and so have sacrificed themselves in order to do so and this isn't necessarily always the case - many people suffer from depression while raising kids and so can't put the effort into themselves and sometimes not into their kids either. Isn't it better to have someone who has a bit of pride in themselves as a role model instead of someone who can't be bothered? (I don't mean that in an insulting way.)

*Disclaimer* - I don't have an SUV, or a 7 seater car, or a big house, lots of money, designer gear so am not a yummy mummy - just make a bit of an effort, thats all.

Oryx

I didnt mean it to seem like the looking good part was the be all and end all. I thought fair play to this girl. It isnt easy to get two kids up and ready, plus go to the effort yourself, and then into the car with lunches made, and all that while you have a baby headbutting your bladder.

And when I said she looked good, I really meant she looked fresh, awake, happy, and capable. It made me think how tough and wonderful we are, all the stuff we cope with.

squire1

And what about Daddy?

Maybe Daddy got the kids up, dressed them, fed them, got their lunches ready, put them into the car, reversed the car out of the driveway and pointed it towards the school while she was inside putting the warpaint on.

Oryx

squire1 wrote: »

And what about Daddy?

Maybe Daddy got the kids up, dressed them, fed them, got their lunches ready, put them into the car, reversed the car out of the driveway and pointed it towards the school while she was inside putting the warpaint on.

Cynic

Thats what I get for being positive.:)

Okaaaay. Hooray for Daddies too, who now come in nappy changing and lunch making versions.

Ayla

Good Lord, this group of parents sure are argumentative. Seems like a thread can't start about anything positive before somebody comes around and makes it a debate.

KtK started this conversation purely as a "wow, aren't mommas strong/capable & powerful figures" and everyone jumps on him/her by putting some form of criticism & judgement on whether a woman does or does not "do herself up" each day. That was not (I repeat, was not) the point KtK was making.

Geesh, I think all of us in the parenting forum need to take a time out and think about responses before assuming there's something to argue. The sun's shining, folks, let's be happy.

Nevyn

Some mammys are not the type of women who wear make up on daily bases and can think of better ways to set an example to thier children eps thier daughters.

squire1

Sorry, I thought my post was funny

I think all mummys are great by the way, maybe we should set aside a special day in the year just to celebrate them? Maybe March 2nd, anyone?

Nevyn

Ayla wrote: »

KtK started this conversation purely as a "wow, aren't mommas strong/capable & powerful figures" and everyone jumps on him/her by putting some form of criticism & judgement on whether a woman does or does not "do herself up" each day. That was not (I repeat, was not) the point KtK was making.

Yes I think that the role and work of stay at home parents is currently vastly underrated, but I don't think that wearing make up has anything to do with how well a person copes with being a stay at home parent.

It certainly is tough when people say 'Oh so you don't work' and there is not the same community support as there was where it was the norm to have a parent at home and neighbours would help each other out.

The sudden Isolation when a baby is born and a new mother is 'trapped' at home is hard, the fact that less people around then have kids is also hard.

I know that in the circles of friends I do have sod all people have kids and until very recently none of my siblings had kids.

Being a stay at home parent or the parent who is on call or has cut back on their working hours or changed careers totally to put their children first is hard.

While I do want my daughter to pursue what ever career she wishes and don't want her thinking she has to be a stay at home parent i certainly will not tolerate her thinking that stay at home parents have less worth then those who work.

di11on

I'm a daddy and I can drop my eldest to school, with the younger at my side, and look fabulous too

Ok, so I can't be pregnant at the same time... ok - mammies win

Oryx

I didnt mean this to become a debate on make up or stay at home mums. (thank you to Ayla, by the way). I didnt even mention makeup, and I salute all mothers. Those that work, volunteer, stay at home, adopt, or foster. Its the toughest of jobs, and you don't, cannot, realise that till you are in it.

I give a nod to the daddies too, but my point was, we, the women, cope with the kids a lot more than daddies often do. (I realise thats a sweeping statement, and its changing, but look at the school run/pta meetings and its almost all women). We also cope with the physical aspects of pregnancy which are hard. And among all this, we still remain the people we are. We dont get swamped by it. And I think thats admirable, and deserves praise.

Again, I didnt mean this in a political way. I was trying to be positive.

Nevyn

Ah I do agree KtK and tbh usually do manage with a certain ammoung of grace an poise until I fall on my ass

embee

babyboom wrote: »

Isn't it better to have someone who has a bit of pride in themselves as a role model instead of someone who can't be bothered? (I don't mean that in an insulting way.)

Yes, it is always good when a parent takes pride in themselves - kids are sponges and happy parents mean happy children in 99% of cases.

From my own perspective though, I don't personally take pride from having my hair and/or make up done. I don't really appreciate the idea that in some peoples eyes I "can't be bothered". I don't feel any better about myself if I look a million dollars. I take pride in the fact that I'm doing the parenting more or less on my own, I'm in college doing a degree in Midwifery and I have a happy, healthy, kind little girl. Thats my bliss

Ayla wrote: »

Good Lord, this group of parents sure are argumentative. Seems like a thread can't start about anything positive before somebody comes around and makes it a debate.

KtK started this conversation purely as a "wow, aren't mommas strong/capable & powerful figures" and everyone jumps on him/her by putting some form of criticism & judgement on whether a woman does or does not "do herself up" each day. That was not (I repeat, was not) the point KtK was making.

Geesh, I think all of us in the parenting forum need to take a time out and think about responses before assuming there's something to argue. The sun's shining, folks, let's be happy.

I'm happy. I wasn't having an argument with anyone...perhaps it came across in my original reply to KtK that I was, but that wasn't my intention. Yes, Mammies are wonderful, there is no disputing that, I was just saying that Mammies are wonderful irrespective of how "together" they look in the mornings.

Thaedydal wrote: »

Some mammys are not the type of women who wear make up on daily bases and can think of better ways to set an example to thier children eps thier daughters.

That would be where I'm coming from - I don't think that I am in any way better than any woman who manages to have the hair and make up done in the mornings, but it isn't on my priority list at all. I'm sure I look a fright a lot of the time, but I don't really care to be honest. My wee girl is happy and healthy and it isn't because I do or don't wear make up and have the hair done.

KtK wrote: »

I didnt mean this to become a debate on make up or stay at home mums. (thank you to Ayla, by the way). I didnt even mention makeup, and I salute all mothers. Those that work, volunteer, stay at home, adopt, or foster. Its the toughest of jobs, and you don't, cannot, realise that till you are in it.

I give a nod to the daddies too, but my point was, we, the women, cope with the kids a lot more than daddies often do. (I realise thats a sweeping statement, and its changing, but look at the school run/pta meetings and its almost all women). We also cope with the physical aspects of pregnancy which are hard. And among all this, we still remain the people we are. We dont get swamped by it. And I think thats admirable, and deserves praise.

Again, I didnt mean this in a political way. I was trying to be positive.

KtK,

Sorry if I came across in an argumentative way in my original reply to you. That wasn't the intention at all. Mammies (and Daddies alike) deserve a lot of praise, and rightly so - it is the toughest job anyone will ever undertake.

I must say though - I love love LOVE being a Mammy... I feel like I've found myself since I had my little girl. In a way, I never want to have any more kids because I don't know how I could possibly love another child as much as I love Rhiannon

Oryx

embee wrote:

I never want to have any more kids because I don't know how I could possibly love another child as much as I love Rhiannon

I have two. And when you have your second, the love doesnt halve, it doubles.

di11on

KtK wrote: »

I have two. And when you have your second, the love doesnt halve, it doubles.

I have to agree with that. I was anxious about the very same thing when our second was on the way. I thought, how could I possibly love this new one as I do my first. But then this brand new individual comes along, the like of which has never been before, or ever will be again... you see their little personalities emerging little by little every day and you're constantly surprised by the wonder of this new little person.

It does double - it's true.

Nevyn

And it's easier the second time around you have done it before and aren't as anxious.

NextSteps

KtK wrote: »

I didnt mean this to become a debate on make up or stay at home mums. (thank you to Ayla, by the way). I didnt even mention makeup, and I salute all mothers. Those that work, volunteer, stay at home, adopt, or foster. Its the toughest of jobs, and you don't, cannot, realise that till you are in it.

I give a nod to the daddies too, but my point was, we, the women, cope with the kids a lot more than daddies often do. (I realise thats a sweeping statement, and its changing, but look at the school run/pta meetings and its almost all women). We also cope with the physical aspects of pregnancy which are hard. And among all this, we still remain the people we are. We dont get swamped by it. And I think thats admirable, and deserves praise.

Again, I didnt mean this in a political way. I was trying to be positive.

Is there a Boards award for Most PC Post?