Being on of the wimmin for a day.

minidazzler

Inspired by the thread in the wimmins lounge.

You wake up bleary eyed after a night on the piss. You fart and go to scratch your Manliness. Holy three holy where is it.

What now?

You are part of their culture for the day what do you do?

Hagar

Get out of bed, wash my hands and make my man's breakfast. At least that's what I should do. Being a wimmin anything could happen, God knows I might spend the day in front of a mirror trying on shoes and handbags.

Morlar

Either stay in bed all day . .. . . or try score a non-hairy lesbian.

Slow Motion

Morlar wrote: »

Either stay in bed all day . .. . . or try score a non-hairy lesbian.

QFT

jester77

I'd stand in front of the mirror topless wondering why my moobs have become smaller and firmer :eek:

AckwelFoley

Id do everything to myself that a woman would never let me do to her.

whiskeyman

Try and see how easy it is to fake an orgasm...

Get moody and lash out at everyone for no reason, and then just say 'sorry...that time of the month'

tribulus

jester77 wrote: »

I'd stand in front of the mirror topless wondering why my moobs have become smaller and firmer :eek:

I'd walk into the toilet, pull down my pants, then end up pissing on my leg...

MarkR

Out with the video camera and baby oil, I'm going to rich! (Assuming I'm hot)

takola

whiskeyman wrote: »

Try and see how easy it is to fake an orgasm...

Don't do this. You'll be disillusioned when you get back to being a man and your life will never be the same again!

Tom Dunne

Get a sex change.

smashey

Have a period without threatening to start world war three.

Mr. CooL ICE

Try and find my g-spot.

5starpool

Have a shit and a shower. A long shower probably.

trout

inside the mind of troutina - a wimmin for the day

06:30 - alarm goes off. notice husband gone to work. wonder what he does
06:45 - reach for snooze button. fail.
07:00 - pull plug from alarm clock. think about tasks to complete today.
08:15 - bladder pressure forces me out of bed. too much coffee.
08:45 - loss of feeling in legs leads to full wakefullness
08:55 - scream at kids to get dressed, find their schoolbags and get their breakfast
08:56 - make breakfast for kids
08:57 - discover third child. smaller and noisier than the big ones. feed it
08:58 - pile kids into car while getting dressed and drinking coffee from novelty mug.
08:59 - discover, once again, that it's hard to drive with slippers on.
09:00 - scrape car on gate. stop. reverse. scrape car again.
09:15 - drop kids off to school. late. again.
09:20 - discover third child in the car again. remove from front seat. again
09:35 - return home. scrape car. discover kids lunches. scream. back into car. scrape.
09:50 - drop kids lunches into school. wonder again about third child.
10:00 - remembers third child goes to creche in the mornings.
10:10 - drop third child off at creche. with lunch. *thinks* clever girl.
10:11 - thank creche workers for admiring my novelty slippers.
10:30 - return home. gaze at devastation of the house. sob gently.
10:35 - put kettle on for more coffee.
10:40 - friend arrives for coffee. friend discovers small child in car. it is asleep.
10:45 - retire with coffee to 'good' room as yet untouched by human hand.
13:30 - finish conversation. no conclusions. or topics. finish coffee. bid friend goodbye.
14:00 - finish dressing. put novelty slippers in the fridge.
14:15 - arrive at creche. try to remember what third child looks like. picks one.
14:35 - collect bigger kids from school. looks for pink coats. picks two.they'll do.
15:00 - arrive home. tell kids to clean up. everything.
15:05 - make coffee. gather thoughts. watch oprah. or judge judy. whatever.
17:30 - finish coffee. phone husband. ask what he wants for the biha tay.
18:30 - wash face. brush hair. dress third child. *thinks* where did this come from ?
19:00 - husband returns. small talk. *display harried face* what a day.
19:10 - husband offers to make coffee. oh yes please
19:15 - husband discovers novelty slippers in fridge. enquires gently WTF?
19:20 - husband makes coffee. sits me down in 'good' room. say "rest aisy"
19:30 - husband makes tea. feeds kids. supervises homework. cleans up. everything.
19:50 - husband plays with third child. they seem on good terms. third child is a boy. wow.
20:00 - bigger kids retire to play something called nintendogs. third child sleeps.
21:00 - husband exits laundry room. smells of soap. has clothes hamper.
21:15 - husband potters around house. restoring order to chaos. whistles gently.
21:30 - finish coffee. say "night night" to husband. "rough day".
21:35 - admire self in full length mirror. rub expensive lotion on skin.
23:58 - enter bedroom. husband is asleep. smells good. but soapy.
23:59 - lights off.

orestes

Brother Trout, stand up and take a bow!

Tom Dunne

orestes wrote: »

Brother Trout, stand up and take a bow!

Brother trout, stand up, take a bow and feck off over to the Ladies Lounge.

There was a scary amount of detail in that post.

trout

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Brother trout, stand up, take a bow and feck off over to the Ladies Lounge.

There was a scary amount of detail in that post.

Yore point ?

I have a complete-ist attitude. *sniff* part of being a man *sniff sniff*

pa trout told me to do everything to the best of my admittedly limited ability.
So, for those few minutes I was typing ... I was the best dam wimmins I could be.

pa trout said if I didn't try my best ... I would grow up to become a banana and not a man :rolleyes:

Nevyn

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Brother trout, stand up, take a bow and feck off over to the Ladies Lounge.

There was a scary amount of detail in that post.

Of someone who is clearly suffering from depression or dementia
Poor bitch who ever she is.

The Hill Billy

I'd bang on all day about my ârse looking big.

trout

Thaedydal wrote: »

Of someone who is clearly suffering from depression or dementia
Poor bitch who ever she is.

ummm ... that would be me ... well ... my inner wimmin :(

thankfully, and no thanks to me, IRL mrs trout leads a rich, full and varied life, running the household, running her own business, and running me if truth be told, setting a great example for the kids, who luckily ALL take after her, as well as personally fulfilling several hobbies and private endeavours. she is formidable and loved dearly. this she knows.

my post was somewhat jaundiced, and an attempt to relate "a day in the life" based on empirical evidence. clearly not funny. or true*

forgive me




*except for the slippers in the fridge bit.

Drift

1 day ..... I'm not sure i'd make it out of the house with only a day.

Things to do:

1. Play with self - have to find out how it's possible to feel an orgasm somewhere other than in your genitals.
2. Play with boobies.
3. Make dogs dinner out of hair and make-up.
4. Fall off high heels.
5. Wear short skirt and forget to cross legs when I sit down
6. Take naughty pictures and post them to my male self for later use
7. Get special treatment somewhere by bursting into tears.
8. Find out what women actually talk about when there are no lads around (I'm pretty sure it's just as filthy as what guys talk about they just pretend otherwise)
9. Get chatted up.
10. Piss off the extremely good looking guy who gets all the chicks by stringing him along and then blowing him off. (Not that way you bunch of pervs)

Nevyn

trout wrote: »

ummm ... that would be me ... well ... my inner wimmin :(

Jaysus that explains a lot.

kaimera

6. Take naughty pictures and post them to my male self for later use

:eek:
There is something wrong with that...

Drift

I'll have you know I'd be a hot bit of woman meat and obviously have no blood relation to my male self.

Nevyn

kaimera wrote: »

:eek:
There is something wrong with that...

Drift

Thaedydal wrote: »

BUSTED. Now that everyone knows I have to abondon my plans for a clone

KamiKazi

trout wrote: »

inside the mind of troutina - a wimmin for the day

06:30 - alarm goes off. notice husband gone to work. wonder what he does
06:45 - reach for snooze button. fail.
07:00 - pull plug from alarm clock. think about tasks to complete today.
08:15 - bladder pressure forces me out of bed. too much coffee.
08:45 - loss of feeling in legs leads to full wakefullness
08:55 - scream at kids to get dressed, find their schoolbags and get their breakfast
08:56 - make breakfast for kids
08:57 - discover third child. smaller and noisier than the big ones. feed it
08:58 - pile kids into car while getting dressed and drinking coffee from novelty mug.
08:59 - discover, once again, that it's hard to drive with slippers on.
09:00 - scrape car on gate. stop. reverse. scrape car again.
09:15 - drop kids off to school. late. again.
09:20 - discover third child in the car again. remove from front seat. again
09:35 - return home. scrape car. discover kids lunches. scream. back into car. scrape.
09:50 - drop kids lunches into school. wonder again about third child.
10:00 - remembers third child goes to creche in the mornings.
10:10 - drop third child off at creche. with lunch. *thinks* clever girl.
10:11 - thank creche workers for admiring my novelty slippers.
10:30 - return home. gaze at devastation of the house. sob gently.
10:35 - put kettle on for more coffee.
10:40 - friend arrives for coffee. friend discovers small child in car. it is asleep.
10:45 - retire with coffee to 'good' room as yet untouched by human hand.
13:30 - finish conversation. no conclusions. or topics. finish coffee. bid friend goodbye.
14:00 - finish dressing. put novelty slippers in the fridge.
14:15 - arrive at creche. try to remember what third child looks like. picks one.
14:35 - collect bigger kids from school. looks for pink coats. picks two.they'll do.
15:00 - arrive home. tell kids to clean up. everything.
15:05 - make coffee. gather thoughts. watch oprah. or judge judy. whatever.
17:30 - finish coffee. phone husband. ask what he wants for the biha tay.
18:30 - wash face. brush hair. dress third child. *thinks* where did this come from ?
19:00 - husband returns. small talk. *display harried face* what a day.
19:10 - husband offers to make coffee. oh yes please
19:15 - husband discovers novelty slippers in fridge. enquires gently WTF?
19:20 - husband makes coffee. sits me down in 'good' room. say "rest aisy"
19:30 - husband makes tea. feeds kids. supervises homework. cleans up. everything.
19:50 - husband plays with third child. they seem on good terms. third child is a boy. wow.
20:00 - bigger kids retire to play something called nintendogs. third child sleeps.
21:00 - husband exits laundry room. smells of soap. has clothes hamper.
21:15 - husband potters around house. restoring order to chaos. whistles gently.
21:30 - finish coffee. say "night night" to husband. "rough day".
21:35 - admire self in full length mirror. rub expensive lotion on skin.
23:58 - enter bedroom. husband is asleep. smells good. but soapy.
23:59 - lights off.

you sir, are a legend

WindSock

It'd suck if the day you became a Woman, was the same day you got payed

jtsuited

i'd enjoy a day free of rationality or accountability. and maybe touch myself.

Nevyn

WindSock wrote: »

It'd suck if the day you became a Woman, was the same day you got payed

OR you started your period.

Karl Hungus

Go shopping.

old boy

as long as i did not wake up landed

Kimbot

minidazzler wrote: »

Inspired by the thread in the wimmins lounge.

You wake up bleary eyed after a night on the piss. You fart and go to scratch your Manliness. Holy three holy where is it.

What now?

You are part of their culture for the day what do you do?

Easy, stay in bed and play with my t!ts and fanny all day long!!!

Blitzkrieger

I'd have to check if the women's locker room in the gym is as much fun as it is in my head........

Dragan

Talk to every chick i could find about pretty much everything i could think of. I'd have 24 hours to learn as much as i could and then be a super dude when it came to the ladies.

Probably do a dude, see what it was like from a chicks point of view.

Deffo knock a few lesbo hood rats outta tha park.

As we say in the ghetto.

Dragan

Dragan wrote: »

Probably do a dude, see what it was like from a chicks point of view.

Now that's just gay.

Me, I'd run around in the rain wearing nothing but a tight white t-shirt and knickers, all the while videoing it, then tape myself slowly undressing and pulling the box off myself in front of a mirror, for later...eh.....delectation.

Also, seeing as chocolate is like sex to the beeyatches, I'd try to enjoy a multiple malteaser.

Dragan

Deleted User wrote: »

Now that's just gay.

Not if i'm a chick it's not. The thread is about being a wimmins for the day....not being a dude in a wimmins body, last time i checked.

DJ_Spider

Have you noticed most of the brothers that have posted replies have mentioned playing with any or all of the norty bits!? Seriously if you were a layday for the day you wouldn't suddenly see what it is like to play. You would be more worried about how the feck you are going to explain this to your mates!

Failing that I think if you had female thoughts, you would have an uncrontrolable urge to go shopping/beauty salon/try on outfits/call girlfriends for gossip!

But I do that anyway - KIDDING!

Just read what I mentioned in BGRH beers thread, what if we all dressed as the opposite sex for karaoke? Hang on...........scary! :eek:

DJ Spider

Don1

Easy, dig out the camcorder, have a field day with one's self and willing female counterparts. Build up as large a video library of said antics as is possible in one day.

On return to being a man again, get some web space, set up internets pr0n site and charge stoopid peoples mucho moola for downloads of afforementioned videos.

Milk this little site for as long as is possible and remeber fondly the doooorty day as a wimmins that made me not have to get up and go to stoopid work every day.

Kold

I'd have a period, possibly 2 just to show everyone that it's not that big a deal.

Creamy Goodness

i'd do some scissoring.