Am I being unreasonable??

sam0626

Ok here goes...

Boyfriend's best friend..nice guy but he does this one thing that really is beginning to pee me off....

He's single..fine fair enough...but EVERYTIME we're with him and he see's a nice looking girl (which is every 2nd girl)..he'll make it his point to point her out to my boyf and say something like...'look at her yeah i'd have her..would u?' or 'she's whopper look at her'...

Now I know men say these things to each other...so do women..but do you not think that he should be showing a little respect when i'm around?

He's a bit immature for his age (24) and when i'm around my boyf doesnt answer him but I really think it should stop....

He's also in the house nearly every night as well..and half expecting him to show up at the door valentines night...

Has anyone else had a 'third' person in their relationship?

St Bill

It sounds like he's lonely and would like to have a girlfriend, and maybe he misses hanging out with his friend (your boyfriend) and the things they used to do.
Next time he starts banging on about some hot 'bird', tell him to ask her out, maybe he'll realise how immature he's being. Or else go over to his object of affection and say 'My friend fancies you'. That might make him think twice about opening his gob again, or better still he actually might end up with a girlfriend of his own! You can't lose

WhiteWashMan

ahh yes.

often one half will always seemto have a friend around. i know i used to do that when i was a lot younger. it was kind of a chaparone so that things could never get too heavy.

it may be that your boyfriend isnt sure about the relatioship, or it could be that he just likes his friends company, and is trying to spend time with his two best friends at once. or maybe hes afraid that he wont be able to step up to the plate and keep you entertained on a night out if its just the two of you. by entertained, i mean conversation wise

perhaps you might suggest that you both go out alone every now and then, but you have to be careful, becuase the last thing you want is your boyfriend thinking that you wont let him see his friends, or that you are trying to change him or some other rubbish. this is where all those stories about women come from. you want to have him out for a night alone, and suddenly youre whipping him into a state fit to be married

now, how you broach that, i have no idea. i know i lost a lot of friends when my ex girlfriend did it to me, but then again, she didnt just want to have me to herself every now and then, she actually didnt like any of my friends.
perhaps what you need to do is invite more people? take the emphesis off your boyfriend and his friend, put it onto some others?
its easier to be a couple in a group of 10 people than in a group of 3.

jdivision

He's probably looking for something to say to keep conversation going. I openly talk to mates and their girlfriends about certain people in a pub or club being hot. The mates and their girlfriends or boyfriends would usually reply or take the piss saying i haven't a hope. It's just a bit of banter

John Mason

tbh honest, i think you sound a bit immature. you want your boyfriend to tell his mate what he can and cannot say around you ???? so what if HE says it to your boyfriend, it's not like your boyfriend is pointing out the women to him. you cant control everyone in your life

ziedth

I have to agree with the general reply's,

its not as if he's being over offensive and causing your BF to talk about women and your BF is showing you the respect not to ogle while your there,

IMO grow up, if your BF threw a strop over you and a friend talking about how good looking a lad was how would you feel.

St Bill

sam0626 wrote: »

Ok here goes...

'look at her yeah i'd have her..would u?'

Banter is no harm but her boyfriend's friend is asking him questions like this within earshot of the OP, which is childish and immature. And the OP has said that her boyfriend doesn't always answer his friend back when she's there, I assume that's because he doesn't want to upset the OP. It sounds like the friend is stirring things a bit if he comes out with stuff like the above

SarahSassy

He is just being a bit of a harmless eejit.... The issue which would 'upset' me would be him hangling around my house most nights. You need your space from time to time to do couply things. I think if you saw less of him then the silly comments wouldnt grate as much... Give him the hint byspending more time doing things eg cinema with your partner....

sam0626

irishbird wrote: »

tbh honest, i think you sound a bit immature. you want your boyfriend to tell his mate what he can and cannot say around you ???? so what if HE says it to your boyfriend, it's not like your boyfriend is pointing out the women to him. you cant control everyone in your life

Believe me I am NOT immature...I was asking was I being unreasonable...I dont need someone talking down to me thank u very much...he can say what he wants but what he's saying is offensive and inconsiderate....

My point was the I was finding his comments offensive and have spoken to my boyfriend about it since I posted an he agrees...best option now is to just ignore him.I think....

Thanks to everyone for the advice..!