Small Man Syndrome

Pighead · 12-02-2008 4:40pm #1

Throughout the ages the small man has constantly acted tougher than he really is in an effort to compensate for his lack of inches. Hitler, Napoleon Jimmy Krankey and amp are all examples of small men who've developed SMS after years of jibes taunts and head pats from the taller people.

The small blokes usually tend to bag themselves a girl who is taller than they are mainly to prevent the very real threat of their offspring being dwarves had they bedded a fellow shortie. But why do the midgets have to act with such bravado and cockiness? Pighead treats the shorties with almost the exact same amount of respect as the normal people. Theres no need for the tude.

Are you a small man, do you over compensate? Why do you do it? And how come chicks don't? And what would you define as small? Lots of questions there, probably too many actually, so Pighead will answer one of them. 5ft 5 would be considered small for a fully formed adult in Pigheads opinion.

Dinter · 12-02-2008 4:44pm

I find that problems usually arise when the small man is with his tall friends.

When they're on their own they're usually well aware of their shortcomings and are nice as anything, but give them a few tall people out with them and suddenly they're hard as nails.

Well certainly hard enough to cause a fight where their contribution will be a kick when the other person's already on the ground. That's my experience anyway.

Can't understand SMS but I think drink plays a part. All that bullying from 20 years ago suddenly vents when alcohol is consumed.

Pighead · 12-02-2008 4:50pm

Dinter wrote: »

Well certainly hard enough to cause a fight where their contribution will be a kick when the other person's already on the ground. That's my experience anyway.
.

Pigheads no fighter but there have been occasions when the ickle people have challenged yours truly to a duel to the death because of some slight made on their character or something. Whats a man to do in these situations? If you fight the wee fella you're called a big dirty bully for beating up a man trapped inside a little boys body and if you walk away you're called a big yellow coward who's afraid he'll get beaten up by a little small man. Its not easy out there.

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 4:52pm

I, as a 5' 5" bloke can tell you that there is no disadvantage to being smaller than the the "average", I mean who want's to be average ?, we go like the clappers in the sack, so women generally love us, (think terrier here), can get in through toilet windows when girls are locked out, then reap the rewards, tall women love smaller blokes, I know, I've been there !! and small blokes only get small bloke syndrome when they see lanky tw@ts trying to dance,
it's scientifically proven smaller men dance better that tall streaks.

Anyone says any different and I'll have them !!!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-02-2008 4:54pm

Good Christ, we've only just finished with the insecure woman thread and now it's mini-man day. What the **** is it with people this week? Can yous not just get over yourselves and stop ****ign compensating?!

orestes · 12-02-2008 4:56pm

Bod1 wrote: »

Anyone says any different and I'll have them !!!

Easy there little fella! *puts hand on Bod's forehead to hold him at arms length and laughs maniacally while he swings into nothing but air*

Pighead · 12-02-2008 4:59pm

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Good Christ, we've only just finished with the insecure woman thread and now it's mini-man day. What the **** is it with people this week? Can yous not just get over yourselves and stop ****ign compensating?!

Hmm smells like a little un to Pighead. Lots of anger in this wee fella.

tbh · 12-02-2008 4:59pm

Bod1 wrote: »

I, as a 5' 5" bloke can tell you that there is no disadvantage to being smaller than the the "average", I mean who want's to be average ?, we go like the clappers in the sack, so women generally love us, (think terrier here), can get in through toilet windows when girls are locked out, then reap the rewards, tall women love smaller blokes, I know, I've been there !! and small blokes only get small bloke syndrome when they see lanky tw@ts trying to dance,
it's scientifically proven smaller men dance better that tall streaks.

Anyone says any different and I'll have them !!!

lol, good man bod, you're a gas little fecker

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:04pm

Here's a question ?

I've seen it said in the past that women don't like going out with men smaller than them ?

BUT

What about Gay men ? do the same biases apply.

I'm just being bias curious here !!!

mike65 · 12-02-2008 5:06pm

Pats Bod1 on head.

Mike.

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:07pm

Bod1 wrote: »

I, as a 5' 5" bloke can tell you that there is no disadvantage to being smaller than the the "average", I mean who want's to be average ?, we go like the clappers in the sack, so women generally love us, (think terrier here), can get in through toilet windows when girls are locked out, then reap the rewards, tall women love smaller blokes, I know, I've been there !! and small blokes only get small bloke syndrome when they see lanky tw@ts trying to dance,
it's scientifically proven smaller men dance better that tall streaks.

Anyone says any different and I'll have them !!!

Fair enough Bod, you've outlined some good points there and you've made being a small man seem not quite as bad as Pighead originally thought. But c'mon buddy surely the disadvantages far outweigh the positives.

What about if you're in a shop and you have a boner. Porn mags are on the top shelf, the farmers journal is on the bottom. Being small, you're forced to go home and relieve yourself to a picture of Bessy the prize winning Carlow friesian. Surely in instances like this you yearn for those extra inches?

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:08pm

mike65 wrote: »

Pats Bod1 on head.

Mike.

Is this a response to my gay man post.

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:08pm

Bod1 wrote: »

Here's a question ?

I've seen it said in the past that women don't like going out with men smaller than them ?

BUT

What about Gay men ? do the same biases apply.

I'm just being bias curious here !!!

Pretty sure women don't like going out with gay men either. Something to do with the whole, not finding them attractive business. But whats that got to do with you're short arse and stumpy legs?

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:12pm

Pighead wrote: »

Fair enough Bod, you've outlined some good points there and you've made being a small man seem not quite as bad as Pighead originally thought. But c'mon buddy surely the disadvantages far outweigh the positives.

What about if you're in a shop and you have a boner. Porn mags are on the top shelf, the farmers journal is on the bottom. Being small, you're forced to go home and relieve yourself to a picture of Bessy the prize winning Carlow friesian. Surely in instances like this you yearn for those extra inches?

Didn't you know it was a small bloke that invented internet porn to avoid such dilemma !!??!

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:15pm

Pighead wrote: »

Pretty sure women don't like going out with gay men either. Something to do with the whole, not finding them attractive business. But whats that got to do with you're short arse and stumpy legs?

Your assuming I'm a dwarf, maybe I'm a midget ?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 12-02-2008 5:16pm

Pighead wrote: »

Hmm smells like a little un to Pighead. Lots of anger in this wee fella.

Ikky Poo2 is 5'9" and not within pighead's (notice the apostrophe indicating possessive) range of small. I'm even bigger if a nice lady rubs it for me....

mike65 · 12-02-2008 5:19pm

Bod1 wrote: »

Is this a response to my gay man post.

As if. I was merely patronising the status of your challanged stature.

Mike.

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:19pm

Bod1 wrote: »

Didn't you know it was a small bloke that invented internet porn to avoid such dilemma !!??!

Ok fair enough that solves the porn mag dilemma but what about this one.

Imagine you lived in Sierra Leone, a country where small men find it extremely difficult to find a women to settle down with. Sierra Leoneon women look down on short men and go for tall men who they feel will protect them from fear and evil.

Now you'll probably say that you have no intention of ever going to Sierra Leone but in fairness these things choose us, we do not choose them.

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:21pm

mike65 wrote: »

As if. I was merely patronising the status of your challanged stature.

Mike.

Hmmmm,

May-be just a little too defensive there Mike........

r3nu4l · 12-02-2008 5:22pm

Pighead wrote: »

What about if you're in a shop and you have a boner. Porn mags are on the top shelf, the farmers journal is on the bottom.

When faced with this problem I usually ask Tanya (the hot female sales assistant at my local newsagents, who has a penchant for short skirts!) to reach up and get me a copy. Funnily enough, after she climbs the shelf and I've got myself some upskirt action, I no longer need said magazine!

Bod1 wrote: »

Didn't you know it was a small bloke that invented internet porn to avoid such dilemma !!??!

This is true, us shorties are fuelling the startling rise in internet porn!

Oh...also, there are several specialist websites that feature Bessy, the prize cow so I don't buy the farmers journal anymore!

I should also point out that at a strapping 5 feet 6 inches, I tower over those 5 foot 5 inch midgets Pighead speaks of! Me and the other tall lads laugh at them!
<_<

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:28pm

Bod1 wrote: »

Your assuming I'm a dwarf, maybe I'm a midget ?

PIgheads assuming nothing. How could he when he has never seen your tiny little face. Everybody knows that the only difference between a dwarf and a midget is that a dwarf is ugly. Having never met you Pighead is not in a position to label you with either of these names. For now Pighead will stick with littlemanshortypants.

Dinter · 12-02-2008 5:30pm

What's the average height for an Irish man?

buckieburd · 12-02-2008 5:31pm

Jimmy Cranky is a woman

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:31pm

Dinter wrote: »

What's the average height for an Irish man?

Think its about 5ft 10".
Or 2 Bod1's in old measurements.

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:32pm

Pighead wrote: »

Ok fair enough that solves the porn mag dilemma but what about this one.

Imagine you lived in Sierra Leone, a country where small men find it extremely difficult to find a women to settle down with. Sierra Leoneon women look down on short men and go for tall men who they feel will protect them from fear and evil.

Now you'll probably say that you have no intention of ever going to Sierra Leone but in fairness these things choose us, we do not choose them.

D'ja wanna take this outside ?

Dinter · 12-02-2008 5:33pm

Pighead wrote: »

PIgheads assuming nothing. How could he when he has never seen your tiny little face. Everybody knows that the only difference between a dwarf and a midget is that a dwarf is ugly. Having never met you Pighead is not in a position to label you with either of these names. For now Pighead will stick with littlemanshortypants.

I would say he's a midget because if he was a dwarf he'd type like this:

ghwekll;op luio awe

This would be caused by his stubby fingers, which would not have the dexterity or delicacy to type accurately.

Pherekydes · 12-02-2008 5:35pm

I'm 6 ft and everyone on the basketball team in work looked down on me.

You soon develop an attitude, lemme tell you. You have to fight in training, fight during matches, and when you're cut (left off the team) you go and fight someone, anyone smaller. Not many of those in the second row on the rugby team.

So I took up cross country. Nearly the tallest on the team!

But then I was picked on because I was the slowest (hence the nick).

Now, I surreptitiously put growth hormone on my kids' corn flakes.

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:35pm

Dinter wrote: »

I would say he's a midget because if he was a dwarf he'd type like this:

ghwekll;op luio awe

This would be caused by his stubby fingers, which would not have the dexterity or delicacy to type accurately.

Shows how much you know, I use a Sinclair spectrum keyboard.

Bod1 · 12-02-2008 5:38pm

How high is a Pighead ??

Pighead · 12-02-2008 5:38pm

Bod1 wrote: »

D'ja wanna take this outside ?

And there we have it. A classic case of Small Man Syndrome. He started off as a lovely cuddly little man but after one jibe too many he has turned into the wild manic foaming at the mouth monster you see here before you.

This proves conclusively that SMS is alive and well. Close the thread lads. Thats another syndrome Pighead has proved definitely exists.

Small Man Syndrome

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