rabbit in the headlights.

avalanche

Hi, ive been going out with a girl for nearly four years and lately we have been having a good few problems. i also think im starting to not fancy her which is causing a lot of it.i suppose normal after time. the problem is that today i met a girl at work who i really hit it off with and i get the impression she really likes me. i feel really guilty about it as although i havent done anything with her I am thinking about her in that way ( i.e i fancy her and think that if she made the first move i might even go with it ) this sounds bad and i feel awful as i do love my girlfriend but it makes me think, would i even consider it if i really loved her? what do you think"??

St Bill

It might just be the four year itch. Have you and your girlfriend really had a good talk about what's been going on between you? I wouldn't worry about fancying that girl at work (as long as you don't act on it!!), you only met her today....she could be a raving lunatic for all you know! You've been with your girlfriend for four years, I wouldn't write her off yet. Just make sure you talk to your girlfriend about how you think the relationship's going.

LegacyUser

Hi, I've been with my girl for 5 years and I still fancy her like crazy so no it doesn't have to be "normal".
What other problems are you having?

I think you should think long and hard about you and your girlfriend and deep down you'll know if you love her or not.

avalanche

I think the problems ive been having are related to the fact that my girlfriend hasnt been looking after herself that well lately and anytime i say anything to her we get into a big argument. The thing with the girl today was that we talked for almost an hour and i could sense something between us. not sure what that means though. the girl did tell me that she was single and seemed to be leading me on a bit although who knows.

biko

I can understand that after eating the same dish for a long time you may be tempted when a new restaurant opens up.
However, you should decide which one is best for eating in to do so you don't get barred from both.
Don't confuse love and lust.

mazzyk

I haven't been in the same situation myself but I have a male friend who seems to be in a similar set-up to you. He's been going out with a girl for a couple of years but they stopped sleeping together as she had let herself go (his words). He then has started seeing another girl & sleeping with her. I just don't understand how he can be happy but I guess he's getting the best of both worlds for now...

But in the long-run it's not really a viable solution as a) the girlfriend will surely find out or b) the new girl will get fed up of being the 'mistress'... So I wish you luck in whatever you decide - just be careful as if you attempt what my friend has done I just think that no-one really comes out of it well?