B*tchiness

Peared

Whats the feckin story with this place? When the Ladies Lounge opened first I asked if it wold be boring or if the fellas would pop in and mock us. Strangely though, the one thing I didnt anticipate was the absolute b*tchiness that goes on in here. Yes there are a lot of good arguments and interesting posts and people just disagreeing but my god, theres an awful lot of nastiness too.

I went to a Loreto and I gotta say this place is starting to remind me of my days there. I think, if it continues to escalate in this manner, the Ladies Lounge will eventually implode.

Any thoughts?

ntlbell

You might be awhile waiting on certain replies, they have to ask [SIZE=-1]Vanesa Feltz first before replying.

:D
[/SIZE]

Sherifu

A women's forum is bitchy? Well I never

edit: this is one of those men mocking you posts you talked about

I think posts can be taken the wrong way very easily on a forum, and umbrage can be taken very easily.

And yeah, women can be awful bitches!

ntlbell

More news at 11 users of BGRH have unbalanced diets

Clare Bear

I don't see that much bitchiness in here? Though there's one or two posters that baffle me and need to chill the fock out. Apart from that I think it's grand.

You can't expect it to just be a female version of the BGRH. I think this place is great and the few of us that now hang around together are having a ball so it's all good in my hood!
:cool:

Lux23

Women are bitchy in general and we don't have the same camaradie as men do but i don't think the ladies lounge is all that bitchy. Ive never had anyone make any remarks that I felt were uncalled for to me.

LouOB

I havent seen much in here at all.
Maybe its just some Threads that you were in??!!Dunno.
I steer clear on all that lark - makes for easier life

Peared

Yeah ok smartasses so I knew a womens forum would be a tad snipey every now and then

Maybe I have used the wrong word, its just sometimes it doesnt feel like a welcoming place to be.

BGRH is worse though, all that fear of catching teh gay.

A lot of it is persona I know but I sense an element of bullying sometimes.

All to be expected I know, just feels more personal and intense in the LL.

Some may disagree, and that will be a good thing.

Stargal

Rather than just putting it down to the fact that 'women are bitchy' (yawn), surely a lot of the clashes are because of the two very different types of women that are posting in this forum?

Firstly there are the girly-girls, who like boys, pink things and planning what kind of mothers they'll be. Then there's the thinking girls, who want to talk about what it means to be a woman nowadays with the expectations, the blurring of gender roles and living up to the 'superwoman' ideal.

On a lot of the threads here it seems that the clashes are often between the two types of women, rather than just random bitchiness directed at individuals. That'd be my reading of it anyway...

ntlbell

Peared wrote: »

Yeah ok smartasses so I knew a womens forum would be a tad snipey every now and then

Maybe I have used the wrong word, its just sometimes it doesnt feel like a welcoming place to be.

BGRH is worse though, all that fear of catching teh gay.

A lot of it is persona I know but I sense an element of bullying sometimes.

All to be expected I know, just feels more personal and intense in the LL.

Some may disagree, and that will be a good thing.

The thing is it's quickly became a fairly "large" busy forum with lots of different personalities when you add to the fact a lot of people seem to take up things the wrong when in text when there's no tone to the words.

Then you have the odd little clique and when one person gets in an argument there friends come and regardless of their real opinion they get dragged in.

This has been happening for years on nearly every forum.

Quality

No One or two of the posters is starting to piss me off.

The moral police seem to come along anytime someone posts something fun.

Freedom of speech...

Slow Motion

Peared wrote: »

Yeah ok smartasses so I knew a womens forum would be a tad snipey every now and then

Maybe I have used the wrong word, its just sometimes it doesnt feel like a welcoming place to be.

BGRH is worse though, all that fear of catching teh gay.

A lot of it is persona I know but I sense an element of bullying sometimes.

All to be expected I know, just feels more personal and intense in the LL.

Some may disagree, and that will be a good thing.

You complain of bitchiness and then have a go at BGRH, way to prove your point!:rolleyes:

Peared

Stargal you forgot the girly thinking girls, the two are not mutually exclusive. And I think there are a few of those on here.

Peared

I wouldnt call commenting and making an observation being bitchy.

Really really trying to nitpick there imo.

Clare Bear

Quality wrote: »

No One or two of the posters is starting to piss me off.

The moral police seem to come along anytime someone posts something fun.

Freedom of speech...

Though I do have to agree with ya there Quality.

John Mason

Quality wrote: »

No One or two of the posters is starting to piss me off.

well just block them and you wont have to see their posts

its a shame you cant have a laugh in here though, it's all so serious

Quality

I started a thread on catching the bouquet, Asking two specific questions in it and next thing I know It is a moral issue over womens rights,

Why are the posters allowed to post off topic?

Can they not start up their own thread with their own issues?

I dont mean to insult anyone here, but I started another thread in ah at the weekend, Half my comments were deleted from it, Then the thread was split and the title changed and ......... Jaysus I could go on for every....


Deep breaths


Deep breaths.

smurfbaby

Stargal wrote: »

Firstly there are the girly-girls, who like boys, pink things and planning what kind of mothers they'll be. Then there's the thinking girls, who want to talk about what it means to be a woman nowadays with the expectations, the blurring of gender roles and living up to the 'superwoman' ideal.

Sorry, but does nobody else find this really patronising? FFS, there are more than two types of women in the world! Why do women insist on boxing each other into stereotypes? :rolleyes:

Peared

See post 14 smurfbaby.

Clare Bear

Quality wrote: »

I started a thread on catching the bouquet, Asking two specific questions in it and next thing I know It is a moral issue over womens rights,

Why are the posters allowed to post off topic?

Can they not start up their own thread with their own issues?

I dont mean to insult anyone here, but I started another thread in ah at the weekend, Half my comments were deleted from it, Then the thread was split and the title changed and ......... Jaysus I could go on for every....


Deep breaths


Deep breaths.

Completely agree! Though after today I've just decided to not read a certain few's comments anymore, not going to block them, couldn't be arsed but not reading what they say anymore cause it just bugs me that EVERYTHING has to turn in to a debate about women's rights....even the perfume one for fock sake....I like wearing perfume, so obviously this must make me a stupid little Barbie doll who only does it so that the boys will like me :rolleyes:

Anyway the good posts that don't turn in to PC overdrive are great and so is this forum so hurrah!

Quality

~~GIRL POWER~~

Stargal

smurfbaby wrote: »

Sorry, but does nobody else find this really patronising? FFS, there are more than two types of women in the world! Why do women insist on boxing each other into stereotypes? :rolleyes:

If you re-read my post, you'd see that what I actually said was that when it comes to clashes on this forum, it's generally between women who fall into one of those two categories (which were massively broad by the way; but the ones who feel the strongest in these two categories seem to be the ones who clash the most).

Look at the responses on this thread already - people complaining about the 'fun' threads being derailed by the 'PC brigade'. If someone can explain why it's considered 'pc' and therefore 'unfun' to discuss and actually debate things that matter then please go ahead, because I'm totally at a loss.

Quality wrote: »

~~GIRL POWER~~

/pukes

Clare Bear

Stargal wrote: »

Look at the responses on this thread already - people complaining about the 'fun' threads being derailed by the 'PC brigade'. If someone can explain why it's considered 'pc' and therefore 'unfun' to discuss and actually debate things that matter then please go ahead, because I'm totally at a loss.

No these things should be discussed and debated but in EVERY thread?? Looking at some of the threads here, I'm sure a lot of them will have went off topic for the same reason.

smurfbaby

Stargal wrote: »

If you re-read my post, you'd see that what I actually said was that when it comes to clashes on this forum, it's generally between women who fall into one of those two categories (which were massively broad by the way; but the ones who feel the strongest in these two categories seem to be the ones who clash the most).

I just think that's a sweeping generalisation; I know that you try to qualify it by saying these categories are massively broad but I still think it's a bit rich to try to classify all posters in a forum as either 'girly' or 'thinking'. It's statements like this that tend to generate a lot of strong feeling.

Peared

I agree that there is nothing wrong with wanting to debate serious issues. But as another poster said, maybe start a seperate thread. If somebody posts something about, I dunno, loving shoes for example, then making comments about why women really wear shoes and inferring the OP is dumb and couldnt be intelligent or (to use that word again) a feminist because she wears them is unfair.

I know thats an over simplified example btw.

Stargal

smurfbaby wrote: »

I just think that's a sweeping generalisation; I know that you try to qualify it by saying these categories are massively broad but I still think it's a bit rich to try to classify all posters in a forum as either 'girly' or 'thinking'. It's statements like this that tend to generate a lot of strong feeling.

Again, that's not what I said. I didn't say that everyone here is either thinking or girly; I said that the conflicts arise between people who are strongly one or the other and I've yet to see anything on this forum that disproves that.

watna

Peared wrote: »

I agree that there is nothing wrong with wanting to debate serious issues. But as another poster said, maybe start a seperate thread. If somebody posts something about, I dunno, loving shoes for example, then making comments about why women really wear shoes and inferring the OP is dumb and couldnt be intelligent or (to use that word again) a feminist because she wears them is unfair.

I know thats an over simplified example btw.

I completely agree with the above. I believe there is room here for all kinds of debates but I don't think it's fair that all threads get dereailed in to a feminist debate. If that's what posters want, start a new thread. The cosmopolitan thread was really interesting and productive because it was started with the intention to be a serious debate. People could choose whether or not to get involved. I don't think it's fair that all threads get dragged in to a feminist debate. You know, you like pink so youve been brainwashed by society, I like wearing perfume so I must be doing it for a man, what lingerie do you like to wear for a man.. omg you're not only wearing it for yourself you must be a slave for your man.

There should be room for all types here and everyone should be welcome but at the moment I don't feel there is and I'm actively avoiding most threads.

Silverfish

Well, here's how it is.


This forum was created for women to talk about whatever they want to talk about, within reason.


If someone wants to have a feminist crusade, its being moved to Humanities.

If someone has a problem, its being moved to Personal Issues.

If someone wants a pair of pink fluffy boots, then by god they can post about it here. Any further threads being dragged off topic will be locked or deleted or pruned of all off topic posts.

monkeyfudge

Bitching about bitchiness has got to be the height of bitchiness.

ali.c

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Bitching about bitchiness has got to be the height of bitchiness.

ROFL

In fairness whilst i can see a conflict in opinion I actually wouldnt define it as bitchness at all

monkeyfudge

yep.. I was only joking... and I wanted to legitimately use the word bitch 3 times in the one sentence.

DubLegs

I wouldn't have thought that LL was overly bitchy! Motors - now theres a forum full of bitchiness!!

Silverfish

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Bitching about bitchiness has got to be the height of bitchiness.

If its any consolation, I'm now bitching about you bitching about bitching about bitchiness.

monkeyfudge

Silverfish wrote: »

If its any consolation, I'm now bitching about you bitching about bitching about bitchiness.

hmmm... should I move this a step further... no... that could be a long slippery slope...

Sherifu

Quality wrote: »

I dont mean to insult anyone here, but I started another thread in ah at the weekend, Half my comments were deleted from it, Then the thread was split and the title changed and ......... Jaysus I could go on for every....

That was some train wreck. I had a lot of lols watching it unfold, then the feedback thread too.

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Bitching about bitchiness has got to be the height of bitchiness.

Agreed. Mud wrestling has gotta be the way to go.

watna

rkm wrote: »

Agreed. Mud wrestling has gotta be the way to go.

pfft, KY Jelly wrestling ftw.

Sherifu

mmmmm, jelly

Peared

DubLegs wrote: »

I wouldn't have thought that LL was overly bitchy! Motors - now theres a forum full of bitchiness!!

Motors, really? Whoda thunk it? Must have a nosey.

Lil' Smiler

Peared wrote: »

Whats the feckin story with this place? When the Ladies Lounge opened first I asked if it wold be boring or if the fellas would pop in and mock us. Strangely though, the one thing I didnt anticipate was the absolute b*tchiness that goes on in here. Yes there are a lot of good arguments and interesting posts and people just disagreeing but my god, theres an awful lot of nastiness too.

I went to a Loreto and I gotta say this place is starting to remind me of my days there. I think, if it continues to escalate in this manner, the Ladies Lounge will eventually implode.

Any thoughts?

ha ha!! it does remind me of my loreto days too!! ha ha!!

I don't think it's bitchy as such, more so that there's a lot of highly opinionated ladies here, some more than others and they can come across quite argumentative. Sometimes I find the opinions of others to be quite pushy and trying to prove you wrong whereas it's just everybody saying their thoughts on a public forum.

To be honest, I'm not here to get into any arguments. I just enjoy boards to have the odd chat about things and to help others with the things that I know about and I like that others can do the same for me.

Then again girls will always be girls!!:rolleyes:

Dudess

Quality wrote: »

~~GIRL POWER~~

Lulz

Reku

Dudess wrote: »

Lulz

:eek:*gasp* Dudess, that not cutting it close with your anti-txtspk stance?:p


Well haven't really found it more bitchy here than on AH so maybe that's just that I visit more oppinionated areas of boards.ie.
Do find the posters to put, on average, a bit more thought and effort into their posts and arguements, and actually read other posters' points, so far though (I'm so going to get flak for this from the AH crowd whenever I've the time to have a browse again:rolleyes:).

jellie

Lil' Smiler wrote: »

I don't think it's bitchy as such, more so that there's a lot of highly opinionated ladies here, some more than others and they can come across quite argumentative. Sometimes I find the opinions of others to be quite pushy and trying to prove you wrong whereas it's just everybody saying their thoughts on a public forum.

I agree. I never noticed any bitchiness so much, more that some people are very pushy with their opinions & will pick at anything that goes against that.

Crazy Catlady

I'm concerned about the amount of monkey related posts.
:mad:

Are there girlie monkies? Will they start on the feminist monkies? If a monkey has a hairy armpit is she just a monkey; or is she considered a radical?
And how do you spell the plural of monkies/eys

:eek:

WindSock

Feedback taken onboard. I was thinking (perhaps unrealistically) that there wouldn't be much of a fluff/feminist crossover. I guess I have been wrong lately and it's hard to find the balance here. So from now on it would be appreciated if there is a thread about something that irks you, then post a counter thread to it, rather than taking the original one off topic. Think of it as a restraining order

Lil' Smiler

sar84 wrote: »

I agree. I never noticed any bitchiness so much, more that some people are very pushy with their opinions & will pick at anything that goes against that.

Yeah that's definitely how I feel.


I just feel that if there's a thread in a topic you don't agree with etc there's not always the need for the snide remarks etc... for me, i just don't bother contributing to the thread if it's going to cause uproar and result in people being banned... I know it doesn't seem to happen much in LL but still...

ztoical

say what you will about the b*thiness its got alot of people talking on here.

I find with some threads [I never looked at the catching the bouqet so don't know where that one went] that people can sometimes take it as someone being b*tchy when they just don't agree with them.

The Menstural cups thread was mentioned in some other thread as being an example of one the feminists issue threads and as the person who started it I would just like to say it was not started as a feminists thread, I had a genuine question about a product that could only be used by women [at least I hope, Ive now put the awful image of some man finding one, not knowing what it is and using it for something else entirely] so it made the most sense to ask about it the LL [as mentioned in the thread I had tried PI before and not had alot of replies] as it would have a higher % of women posting then other forums.

AckwelFoley

Snyper will make no comment on this subject..

I would be hit with the ban hammer so hard id need staples in ma head

monkeyfudge

Crazy Catlady wrote: »

And how do you spell the plural of monkies/eys

:eek:

Monkeys.

I get to inform you of the plural and I get to say monkeys. It's a win/win situation for me.

gollyitsolly

Peared wrote: »

Whats the feckin story with this place? When the Ladies Lounge opened first I asked if it wold be boring or if the fellas would pop in and mock us. Strangely though, the one thing I didnt anticipate was the absolute b*tchiness that goes on in here. Yes there are a lot of good arguments and interesting posts and people just disagreeing but my god, theres an awful lot of nastiness too.

I went to a Loreto and I gotta say this place is starting to remind me of my days there. I think, if it continues to escalate in this manner, the Ladies Lounge will eventually implode.

Any thoughts?

I havent been a member for long but from what I have read of the LL, I dont like a lot of it . I spend more time on the BGRH threads. There arent many genuine LADIES here. Being a female does not qualify you being a lady. I joined one thread about pyjamas and I was called a knacker and other stuff. (Why cant a woman be more like a man?) Im not surprised or shocked. "Maybe there should be a Real Ladies Lounge" and " Im Impersonating A Lady Ladies Lounge"?:D

Black Swan

I was off in hospital, and when I returned, LL was in full swing. It's a good thing for boards.ie (where about 75 percent of posters are male?). And besides, to keep things in balance and somewhat real in our virtual world, a little b*tchiness every now and then could be a good thing?