relationship doubt

LegacyUser

Ok, heres the story, I have a GF and a 15 month kid with her (unplanned but I absolutely adore her), everything seemed to be going ok except for the sex life, Since the nipper came along I could count on 1 hand the number of times we had sex. I still have my drive but she has zero, were both young, me 34 her 21, anyway I was just on a lads weekend and I met a girl and chatted with her got to like her and ended up back in her hotel room (we were staying in the same hotel). we hadnt done anything up to this, just flirting and just as we were about to start kissing, she stopped me and asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, (she knows I have a kid and am in a relationship). I knew what I was doing was wrong but I really liked this girl. At this point her friend came back to the hotel room and had scored, so the girl I like asked if she could stay in my room. I agreed to it but we didnt do anything more, she slept in her PJ's I slept in my clothes. She was gone when I got up the next day when I got up. But I cant stop thinkin about her today though. Im really confused now. I have her number but I dont know what to do about it. What say ye?

seamus

Don't do anything about it. It's horniness pure and simple.

There are two courses of action:
1. Go and meet this girl and have an affair. You will get caught one way or another, everybody gets hurt, everybody loses.

2. Talk to your girlfriend and work out the sexual issues. Apparently a lot of women lose their sex drive after having children and a certain amount of it is to do with self esteem, a lot may be to do with pure tiredness. If it's just purely down to these kinds of things , then you make an effort to give her more time to relax, whisk her away for romantic weekends, etc. If it's something more deep-seated, she can get help. Either way, everybody wins and nobody gets hurt.

Drift

1. Delete her number now (and don't fool yourself by writing it down somewhere else first).

2. Talk to your GF about things and see where she wants to go. Like Wibbs always says: "Women want sex too." Your Gf wants to feel sexy and loved and wants to have sex there's just some criteria not filled for her at the moment. Find out what it is and work on it.

LegacyUser

sorry its me again. im 24 not 34, not that it makes any difference. Im not sure its just the sex either though. The sex has never been that good though even before the baby. cheers for posting guys

LadyJ

OP, I can only imagine that if I pushed something the size of a melon out of my vagina and afterwards probably had a certain amount of residual fat on me, along with completely unbalanced hormones, I wouldn't be feeling like having sex very much either(especially if my partner had watched me giving birth).

Have you made an effort to make your girlfriend feel sexy? Have you tried to do anything romantic with her since the baby was born? I'm sure she wants to have sex too you know, it's just that it may be not be the right time or maybe she's feeling self-conscious.

If you really think the relationship was going badly before the baby then that's another story. A baby can't act as a bandaid for long. However, are you sure you're not just making excuses for your behaviour, trying to rationalise it?

Imo, you're thinking with your cock. You have a child now, you need to think with your head. I'm not saying stay with your partner because of the child but handle things carefully. Don't just throw away a relationship because you don't feel like putting any time or effort into it. Get rid of the other girl's number because right now you have no need to make life any more complicated.

How Strange

Good god, you are old enough to have a relationship and have a child but not old enough to speak to your gf about your problems. Thank your lucky stars that nothing happened with this girl because that would just compound the problems you already have.

Delete her number, chalk it up to horniness and drunk and get your relationship sorted out.

There is a child caught up in this now so any stupid things you do will ultimately mess up her young life.

Mighty_Mouse

So let me get this straight.
You're a 34 yr old bloke, who knocked up a 21 yr old girl, decided to go ahead and have the kid, & now without even talkin to her about problems in the relationship........
half-cheated last weekend (havent been to a slumber party with a strange girl since I was 10!)
and looking for advice here about whether to continue cheating or not?

Nice.
Lucky, lucky 20 yr old girl to have found you, eh?
Bet her family was thrilled to see you comin in the door day 1?

Femelade

just because you have "doubt" about your relationship that doesnt mean you should go off and see someone else without even talking through problems with your girlfriend.
If the sex problem is the only problem in your relationship, why can you not say it to your girlfriend, do you really think having some sort of affair with a girl you met one is the answer to your problem??
its guys like you that give other guys a bad name, i certianly hope my boyfriend doesnt end up thinking along the same lines as you one day.
Why dont you just dump your girlfriend and go and have amazing sex with someone else...

Pyr0

Mighty_Mouse wrote: »

So let me get this straight.
You're a 34 yr old bloke, who knocked up a 21 yr old girl, decided to go ahead and have the kid, & now without even talkin to her about problems in the relationship........
half-cheated last weekend (havent been to a slumber party with a strange girl since I was 10!)
and looking for advice here about whether to continue cheating or not?

Nice.
Lucky, lucky 20 yr old girl to have found you, eh?
Bet her family was thrilled to see you comin in the door day 1?

Did you even read his post below his original ? He's not 34 he's 24.

LegacyUser

For those of you who jumped to the conclusion that Ive never tried talking to her about this before (namely Mighty_Mouse)... your'e wrong. Ive tried a good few times and it usually ends up with her feeling guilty for the lack of sex and then getting all upset and crying. And before the PC'ers jump to conclusions, its not as if I didnt approach it in a sensitive manner. For those of you who have really tried to help, cheers. Maybe youre right, maybe its the romance thats gone, but it is hard to find the time to whisk her away when we have the baby, Anyway I will just have to try harder.