a bit worried

LegacyUser

hi

long story short. I broke up with my girlfriend around 2months ago mainly because I couldn't handle it. Im 21 and working a full time job, i start at 6am and finish around 4pm sometimes even 6, that doesn't bother me though. At the time when I was going out with her I would usually go to bed around 11 or so but she would want to stay up all hours talking and what not. She told me that she used cry at night because I would fall asleep, she would keep me up until 2ish in the morning. I wouldn't get much sleep because she used have crying fits when I was asleep and woke me up. Btw she was on the dole and didn't really do anything so it didn't bother her being up 24/7, no responsibilities, nothing to worry about. I eventually broke up with her because of this.

A month after we broke up she used send me messages early in the morning saying that she needed my help and her crying fits were getting really bad. I know it was mean of me but I didnt want anything to do with her. Last week she sent me a message saying Have you been checked for std's. Once again I didnt reply because I was thinking maybe its just a way for me to reply to her because it is a serious discussion. I never in my life had unprotected sex so would I have anything to worry about or do you think I should get checked. I have no knowledge of how to go about doing this, cost or contact information.

Thanks in advance

skull_candy

get a check, safe side n all that, not all sti's are stopped by a condom, some just need skin on skin contact or fluid from mouth or whatever, seriously, ye can get eye herpes! It's aint pretty!

Just go to your doc, or check out the sti thread in the stickies here, it's about €150 for the tests to be done, and the results take a few weeks. It's pretty nerve wracking waiting for them especially if you think you have something but getting the all clear is frickin amazing! Since my experience I recommend a regular check up to all people just to be able to say you are clean or whatever...

heathersonline

get the test then break all contact, been there done that, not worth the hassle!!!

get it done without replying to her

tell her when you get whatever result, then resume ignoring her

Cathmandooo

sounds like she's just trying to get you to reply to her but get tested to be on the safe side. If you have anything then let her know, I don't think you need to contact her if you're given the all clear. You're right not to have contact with her, she sounds unstable but isnt your responcibility. Does she have family or friends to look after her though?

MIN2511

Where are you based? In Dublin a few hospitals do free walk ins
St James clinic offer a free walk in, call them. I am not sure but i think it's Monday, Wed and thursday.

Bottle_of_Smoke

skull_candy wrote: »

get a check, safe side n all that, not all sti's are stopped by a condom, some just need skin on skin contact or fluid from mouth or whatever, seriously, ye can get eye herpes! It's aint pretty!

Just go to your doc, or check out the sti thread in the stickies here, it's about €150 for the tests to be done, and the results take a few weeks. It's pretty nerve wracking waiting for them especially if you think you have something but getting the all clear is frickin amazing! Since my experience I recommend a regular check up to all people just to be able to say you are clean or whatever...

Not neccessarily, GPs can do them. They'll probably charge you around E20 on top of the normal fee, maybe more for blood tests but the chances are the the OP is fine for them if he's never had unprotected sex. I'd also feel a lot more comfortable going to a GP than a clinic.

If you do go to a clinic James St hosp to them for free afaik.

OP why not say to her "no I haven't, should I?"

I've heard of people making stuff up to get in contact with the ex but never an STD. She's risking you telling everyone she's possibly riddled. I'd suggest you find out what this is then make sure you get it verified by a doctor. If you don't you're going to worry yourself to death & just imagine how you'll feel next time you're having sex with someone.

LegacyUser

thanks for the reply guys. Im based in cork. ya she used live with her parents up in mayo and when we got together she just kinda moved in with me which rly annoyed me aswell. She said the next week or so that she was moving down to cork so we could be closer, which i didnt want.

Its true what Bottle_of_Smoke said, next time I am having sex I would feel so bad, ive met someone over the last few days and i dont want to have sex before i get the test done. How is it done, is it just taking blood and thats it.

Do you think it would be worth it going up to dublin for the free test or should I go to my local GP and have it done their. How long does it take for the results to get back?

Once again thank you for your replies
cheers

MIN2511

Go to your local GP. There should be a hospital that offers the same service St James does in Cork. Check the stickies above they should help.

And it's blood, inspection not sure if theres more for guys.

LegacyUser

Dont have too much time off work, i usually finish at 3 so hopefully their should be a gp around my area that would still be open.
Just asking, like what if i do have it. Do I take tablets or how would i get rid of it. Would i experience any body changes?

MIN2511

We don't know what you have yet, and your gp would be best to give you advice(am sure you know that already) but i understand your situation(not knowing) if you have been careful hopefully you would be fine.
cheer up

AngryBadger

Just wondering, why did she suddenly ask if you'd been checked for STDs?

OP she sounds like a complete headwreck, and obviously desperately in need of attention, hence the crying fits, the telling you about the crying fits, and so on. Also obviously lazy out, and spoiled.

You dumped her, and she's willing to try anything to get you back under the thumb.

Unless there's some other reason to believe she had something that she might have passed onto you you probably don't have anythinhg. Still, in the interests of having a clear head it's probably no harm to get yourself checked out anyway.

But again, was something suddenly revealed that indicates she has has an std?

LegacyUser

thanks for the reply min2511, its been wrecking my head all day in work and work is stressful enough without having this going on in my mind,brought a smile when you said cheers up so thats good

Well im guessing why she sent me that message saying have I been checked for std's was to make me think "oh well I better reply to her now since its a serious discussion, I feel bad for not texting back but I would prefer to avoid her.

AngryBadger you have it dead on, she is a headwrecker and was always needed attention. It came to the point where she would be texting me during work because she was crying coz she missed me so I would have to pretend to be sick so Id go home to her, which in the end meant i was loosing money. She didnt understand that people who work and have their own place have bills to pay and that "mammy and daddy" plus the dole pay for her expenses. Sorry for dragging on Id just like to get somethings on off chest.

She told my housemate aswell that she went to a doctor and was told that she has a really high sex drive so Im guessing shes been with a lot of ppl, so maybe she could have passed it on to me somehow. I dont know if this is true because I never asked her. Can you actually go to a doctor and get a test done like that, seems a bit strange to me. My housemate told me most the things she was saying to him, most of them were lies, I think maybe she is a compulsive liar, dont know for sure though. Just after the new year she sent me a message saying that she got out of hospital, I remember her telling me she was getting help and that she wanted to get back with me. I didnt want to so when I got that message I didnt reply. It was only a while ago when I got that message about std's. I dont know what else to do, im trying to get time off work next sometime but I dont know, ill try my best. Once again thank you for the replies and sorry for my bad grammer

Bottle_of_Smoke

I got it done a few months back, the doc puts a swab into your urinary tract & then sends it off for analysis. I got the results back in 2 weeks.

It takes less than a minute & the doctor will know how how awkward you feel.

Did a quick google - seems to only be the hospital so I reckon ring a GP & ask does he do the test.

AngryBadger

I'd gamble that in all likelihood there are no STDs in this equation, but you should get yourself checked out just for your own peace of mind.

As Bottle of Smoke said, the most unpleasant part is a swabbing of the urethra, and it's not THAT bad.

Personally I wouldn't even bother letting her know you're getting checked out, ro the results of anything. She's clearly a headmelt, and just itching for any excuse to give you grief.

I'd also suspect that much of what she's telling you/other people is lies.

Anyway OP, hope it all works out!

skull_candy

I got my tests done in Slievemore Clinic, private GP, womens health specialist, they have a male doc too, cost €150 for the full screening, blood work, swabs and a smear test now it may be diff for lads, price wise cuz you don't have as many tests i don't think, ie the swab...

As for being with someone else without knowing for sure, don't do it, not only do you run the risk or possibly allowing them to catch summit off you IF there is summit to catch but you really do feel sick with yourself, I know in my case I stayed away from fellas for ages, and at the time felt like my life was as good as over, sexually, that a fella would never want to touch me again if he thought/knew i had summit...but it's just better all round to abstain for a while...

this chick sounds like a headcase though...cut all contact and only speak to her if entirely neccessary, ie if you do end up to have summit, but tbh from the sounds of it she's just playin ye...

LegacyUser

I didnt know that it was done in the urinary tract. Im actually very nervous about this now as I am very insecure about myself. I bet she's just doing this now so i'd be using money and knowing how the test is done so it would make me feel uncomfortable well i guess it has to be done.

Just wondering what if I have it. Do I have it for the rest of my life or is their treatment to get rid of it?

thanks again

skull_candy

you dont know what IT is, theres different types of sti's, some are for life, some get cured right up.

Dont worry about gettin it done, I know Im a girl so its diff but I felt just as bad, not only standing by the bed with my pants rolled in a bundle in my hand but after hearing all the horror stories of the tests, it all just feels very uncomfortable for a min n then its over n done with, and think how worth it it'll all be if you get the all clear which is likely from the way things are goin!

AngryBadger

OP the examination is nothing to worry about, some bloods, a urine sample, and probably a swab from your urethra, no big deal.

From the sounds of it you don't have anything and your ex is just a gob****e trying to mess with your head.

but get yourself checked out anyway just for your own peace of mind

MIN2511

OP, i actually got my test done in Dec last yr. Am female though so i guess it's different, there is nothing to be scared off. See it as another opportunity to get your ex off your case, meaning in two months time if she says she is pregnant/is HIV+ you can tell her to F*** off. No offense, she's a HEADWRECKER!

LegacyUser

hey, sorry for late reply, having pc problems.

Ive just been talking to my housemate, the one that my ex said to him about the high sex drive she had. He was saying that maybe I should text her and ask her why should I get myself checked, is their anything to be worrying about or did you just send the text to get my attention. Was thinking I might do this or just keep ignoring her. She sent me a message yesterday but it was wierd. She created a account on this website and pm'd me saying stop ****ing ignoring me. Thats all she said, didnt reply at all. So do you think I should send her a text asking her wats up or just go ahead with the test and keep ignoring her.

Im sorry for dragging this on for so long, its just wrecking my head.

cheers

MIN2511

Wow! Talk about stalking, she's quite weird.....
Ring her

LegacyUser

i dont think I should ring her, it would be a bit wierd i think. Ill sent her a text earlier so still waiting for a reply

estar

- she sounds like she has mental health issues, no one cries all day because they miss someone when that person is just gone to work

- any attention you give her will feed her habit. ANY.

- just get the test yourself, and stop contacting her. there are many different
STDS. the fact that you have always used a condom, probably means you
have avoided some of the worst. there are those transmitted around the
pubic area. most are treatable. dont worry yet. you will very probably
be fine. shes probably just wrecking your head.

- you seem to have taken a lot of grief other people wouldnt have taken from this girl - why is this?

StinkerbelleSix

Get the test done and move on with your life. This poor girl sounds disturbed and she's probably grasping at straws to keep you someway in her life. If she hadn't sent you a text asking if you'd been tested for sti's, she would hve sent you one saying 'I think I'm pregnant' :rolleyes: Anything to hold on to you and mess with your head.

Take the test, it's no harm anyway. But cut this girl out of your life immediatly. She sounds dangerous.