I'm sick of Scams,Agengies and Muppets ringing me up and emailing me!

niceirishfella

hi,

I've got a great little van for sale. Its on Carzone and in the Buy and sell and I threw it up on Ebay as well.

but the amount of emails and calls from Scam artists so far has been hilarious.

This morning I got a call from a +357 international number. Straight away i knew it was a scam call........and the background noise was on the call from a call centre.
I said hello, this limie wagon (woman) said,hello, i 'm calling about you car. I said, ok, but i dont have a car for sale. She said what is it then?. I said its a van. We, she then said i'm calling about the van. I jumped in said I did'nt have time for a sales call from an agency.
She said...........ohhhhhhhhhhhh, well - if you're going to be like that then i'm not interested anymore. I said - why would you want to buy a van in ireland when you are in Cyprus?? then there was silence..........
She said, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well, i have 5 buyers who want to buy your vehicle..........i said, ohhhhhhhhhhh, thats good - there must be a shortage of olde Berlingo vans in Cyprus!
She then said I was being Rude (well, i was'nt really, just sarcastic) and before she hung up, I DID!
LOL - what a wench!!!

Then i got this Crap email from Scammers claiming to be from Canana - there must be a shortage of Berlingo's in Canada too! LOL

here's the email -


foley smith [foley.smith@hotmail.com]made an enquiry on Motornet about your 2001 Citroen Berlingo 1.9 Diesel
foley smith writes:
Hello,
I got your advert about selling a car. I'm interested in buying it
but will like to know some few thing about it.
1. How long have you owned it?
2. Why are you selling it?
3. What is the mileage?
4. What sort of condition is it at the moment?
And please let me know if it's still available for sale and the bottom
price you can let me have it.
I Based in Canada operating personal business of selling and buying of
used goods
The shippment will be handled by my private shipper in UK,
And the payment will be made buy a irish bank draft.
Await to hearing from you soon.
You can also contact me on my telephone (516) 299-6376
Thank you
foley smith
foley.smith@hotmail.com



What a load of bullshoitttte............beware folks, its a jungle out there.
tgell us your stories......ohhhhhhhhh, and if you want a bongo van, pm me:D

Omcd

Yes, got an email from the 'ship to Canada' crowd when I was trying to sell my car, offering me 'certified bank draft' to pay for the costs of shipping it, suspected immediately it might (to phrase it in a PC manner) be a scam, so decided to have a laugh :

My reply -

Hi Danny,
Thank you for your enquiry about my Skoda Octavia Estate.

Unfortunately, I turned on the engine half an hour ago and was greeted by a heart wrenching symphony of metallic clangs and bangs and a large plume of blue smoke. The fire department have just finished dowsing
it down.

It seems the timing belt somehow snapped and knocked the battery off its pedestal onto on the exhaust manifold. I think my pet leprechaun sabotaged it - I had to dip into his pot of gold to have it craned out
of the bog (sometimes in Ireland where it appears there may be no genuine certified road you have to pretend there is a genuine certified road... works most of the time).

The colour is now charred black in many places, and it now has air conditioning - a lot of air conditioning.

The mileage was whatever was stated on the ad (I forget and the clock is unreadable now), and I have owned it for many many moons (approximately 66)

I was selling it because I have recently acquired one of those new fangled slurry spreader contraptions, so no need any more to spade it out of the back of a Skoda (the huge boot was great for that) - I tell you, if you need to spread crap, forget about a Skoda and get a super duper turbo slurry spreader contraption - I know someone selling one cheap if you're interested....that will float to Canada (no need to spend a disproportionately large fortune shipping it there) unlike a Skoda, which definitely does not float (hence the need for the crane as mentioned above) - and with the slurry spreader you wont have to worry
about what side the steering wheel is on as it doesn't have one....

The Skoda sadly is now probably destined for the scrap yard, but let me know if you are interested in the slurry spreader. It's brown in colour, and has about 205 miles on it. It's 400,000cc - but completely exempt from road tax ! And because of the stink the tax man probably won't go anywhere near it for excise duty. Isn't that great !! And remember - it floats.

Yours in anticipation,
O. McDonald, BSE, EI EIO.

Thought that might be the last I would hear from this crowd, but seems they were interested in the slurry spreader instead -
Reply, this time from Williams Hill :

what is the price pls?

My reply :

Hi William,

I presume Danny has filled you in on that slurry spreader I was telling him about.

My mate who is selling it lives in a remote part of Ireland that still uses the bartering system, so he wants 8 leprehauns for it as he is looking to increase the size of his herd. The leprechauns must be pedigree leprehauns (with a certified pedigree), and if possible should be of the Lesser Spotted variety, as the green spots of the Spotty variety tend to worry the dairy cows in the next field - which reduces the milk yield something feirce..

This I tell you is an absolute bargain, even considering the slight meteorite damage on the back of slurry spreader.

Yours sincerely,
O. McDonald, BSE, EI EIO.

At this point, Danny Brown/Williams Hill seemed to lose interest - I didn't hear from them again - I wonder why....

BTw, Skodas are great cars - I'm not taking the mick out of Skodas, just this 'ship to Canada' crowd - didn't want the goods to sound too attractive otherwise they might have been sending me emails for ever..

BeardyGit

OMCD,

That's some funny arsed stuff there. Well done!

Gil

javaboy

It doesn't sound like you're sick of the scams. You seemed to enjoy calling them on the Cyprus thing. Personally I don't see what people have against telemarketers cold calling or scamming. It's a faceless person who in many cases shouldn't be ringing you legally. I just use it as a chance to vent my anger or take the piss out of them. Same with the Daz shirts knocking on my door trying to convert me.

Unless you're really busy and haven't got the time, they're great fun.

P.S. cold callers my ph. number is 08<SNIP> <SNIPPETY-SNIP>

promethius

This is a scam the scammers type thing

http://www.419eater.com/

One scam involves the guy getting some dodgy scammer to handwrite harry potter, another gets a nigerian scammer to get a huge tattoo on his arm, takes a while to read through them but they're a crack up !

Tipsy Mac

If you put "no canvassers" in your advert does this deter the crowd or do they still persist in calling?

The Real B-man

Thats what ya get for putting your phone number online i suppose at least some spam emails are blocked.

Lex Luthor

Foley Smith emailed me aswell