Online dating the way to go??

BubbleWrap85

New to all this boards stuff but gonna give it a whirl anyhow. Just wondering if online dating is the way to go to meet lads? I've just turned 22 so maybe it's a dose of "The Terrible Twos", but I just feel like I'm forever gonna be single. Don't get me wrong, I try not to let this disappointed singleton side out too often, as I know girls that are crying out for boyfriends never get the guy! In fact I even force myself to believe sometimes "if ya don't go looking for him, he'll turn up". And I do enjoy the whole being single thing. It's just at 22 now, and having never had any real proper relationships, wondering if there's something wrong with me, ha ha! Met a few guys off the internet, none of which really worked out, a few of which I'd still keep in touch with occasionally! Gang of friends I'm in all have boyfriends apart from 2 or 3. I suppose I'm fed up with meeting guys, kissing, swapping numbers for it all to just end with nothing! Is getting to know someone over the internet and texting before meeting an advisable and worthwhile way to go or should I consider lesbianism???!

Umaro

Although lesbianism is a great option you should give online dating a shot. Sites like OkCupid are free to sign-up to and there's plenty of people on there. I'd at least give it a try before I switch sides.

DD

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

New to all this boards stuff but gonna give it a whirl anyhow. Just wondering if online dating is the way to go to meet lads? Is getting to know someone over the internet and texting before meeting an advisable and worthwhile way to go or should I consider lesbianism???!

Well, you can try ur luck and let us know if u find sm1 interesting.
I tried once to chat with a person and then i decided to meet him, was v different from the way i thought he'll be...anyway it's better than blind dates.

BubbleWrap85

Ha as frustrating as it is to find a man right now, lesbianism is not something I'd seriously consider! Mad about fellas too much am afraid!

TheDriver

Its definitely a grand way to go but would give you some advice: Keep your wits about you to spot timewasters and weirdos and after a few days chat/mailing, arrange to meet or else it bcomes a bebo type of friend. Only problem is that when you go on a net date, you nearly think its another one down and you go back to see who you can see next and you need to keep it in your mind that if you meet someone nice, to make the play for them then. Best of luck

farva

Yeh, I know exactly how you feel. I'm 22 in less than a month, I havent had a proper girlfriend in a while and have started to have those "sh1t I'm going to be single forever thoughts" too, it must be an age thing:rolleyes:?? Its all grand going out getting drunk and having a few random scores and getting a few numbers but you just get tired of it after a while, don't ya!?

I had thought of giving internet dating a go, but there is still a bit of a stigma in Ireland about it. If I did I wouldn't tell my mates that I had set up a profile. I don't worry about it too much, I guess that we're still (relatively!!!) young and as my mom always tells me "whats meant for you won't pass you by"

Le Rack

yeah go for it, even come to the boards nights out and see how you get along with people at them, I get on great with most boardsies and have met tonnes of people off loads of other sites,

OKCupid is mentioned above, I'm also on that, originally just for the quizes but I've met a good lot of people off it, and a lot of decent people, having said that, it's also full of dodgey people so just have your wits about you if you do join.

Dord

farva wrote: »

Yeh, I know exactly how you feel. I'm 22 in less than a month, I havent had a proper girlfriend in a while and have started to have those "sh1t I'm going to be single forever thoughts" too, it must be an age thing:rolleyes:?? Its all grand going out getting drunk and having a few random scores and getting a few numbers but you just get tired of it after a while, don't ya!?

I might as well have written that, its exactly where I'm at now.

To the OP, why don't you give it a go? It couldn't hurt. Just make sure you be careful.

jdivision

I don't know this for sure but I wonder if guys who are your age and using internet dating are doing it mainly for hookups. Maybe try somebody a bit older like 26 or 27? They'll be more mature I expect.

m83

online is the only way, i've met plenty of babes this way

CCCP^

Internet dating is alright, but like somebody said before me, keep an eye out. There are some muppets out there.

Meathlass

Definately try it, I met a gorgeous guy online and we've been together 4 months now. Have a good chat first though with people before you exchange numbers, you'll spot the wierdos a mile off!

Mr. Incognito

Online dating is pretty much the norm these days- go for it. Use a bit of common sense and you'll be fine.

John Mason

yeah go for it, i done the online thing, but tbh it wasnt for me, for many different reasons

but i did meet my "manfriend" here on boards

Extraplus

There is a thread in Ladies Lounge about where you met your other half and I couldn't believe how many people had met online.

I think this is a lot more common than people think as there were loads of responses from people who met online but made up a different story as to how they met for friends and family.

I have never done it myself but as others say, give it a go, what do you have to lose?

(Oh and BTW, you are only 22, stop stressing, you have plenty of time. I bet all your attached friends are jealous of your single life!)

whatsgoinon

online dating is such a laugh! had some great cyber realtionships, and wasted many the hour dreaming about a real life meeting, due to one reason or another they never happened:( anyway one of the guys i was chatting to was daft enough to use his real name, i knew a bit about him, but he didn't know much about me, well the fun I had, telling him all about my favourite bars (also his favourite bars) would always say hi to him when i met him there but not much more. he told a mutual friend about 'this girl who knows everything about him etc etc, she told me. I told her it was me and we had a great laugh over it. We went and told the lad together, and we ended up as very good friends:D
go with the online dating, but you're only 22, slow down horse!!

BubbleWrap85

Don't worry, I can spot an arse a mile off, I think! I know I'm relatively "young" and all, but I'm not looking for a future husband! Just someone to be with, share a few laughs with! Someone for DVD nights in, cinema, dinner, make me laugh, mind me when I'm drunk ha, and for me to be there to do much the same!

Defo wouldn't tell any of my friends that I was seriously joining a dating site. I'd be afraid that they'd think there's something wrong with me resorting to dating sites! Browsed through match.com and saw a few hotties, haven't paid yet because I've no credit card so can't swap emails with anyone, sob sob!

I don't know, I'd just like to get to know someone to see if we have common interests and all that instead of kissing someone and hoping and waiting for texts and a spark or something! I seem to attract the wrong sorta guys that I'm just not interested in, or aren't interested in anything other than just a good time. Don't they realise I can give the good time just with a little more seriousness and continuity?! Hooking up on one nighters sucks ass, though I do enjoy kissing!

Anyhow, I'm in the East Meath area if anyone's interested in restoring my faith in guys ha And in reply to an earlier post, I wouldn't say no to a 26/27 year old - I know about the maturity!!!

derek27

Online datain... you can potentially get chatting with hundreds of people every day without leaving the comfort of your home, or even getting dressed. Also, you can hide behind the anonymity of the PC screen until you feel you actually being chatting to someone that you think you'd like to meet. Be sure to post your picture on your profile and look for matches that only have pictures displayed to avoid disappointment for either side once you actually do meet up.

The problems with the Internet dating scene is that it can be very difficult to actually make convenient arrangements to meet someone, what with work, distance and other such factors. Also, what if you actually really met someone that you hit it off with, but s/he lives 100 miles away from you? Are you prepared to travel that far regularly, or even relocate?

My soundest advice is to give it a go, cos it can be fun and helps boost your confidence if a lot of people on the dating scene show an interest in you... following this, go out to your nearest pub/club scene and exude that confidence you've built up to others, and you'll have no problem attracting potentially good suitors. It'd be far better for you to meet someone closer to home if it's a relationship you're after.

biko

I've only good experiences from when I tried online dating. Male btw.

Mrbrianmolko

You'd just be afraid that a mate would see you on the site and you'd be ridiculed!

ghouse

It may very well be worth a try, East Meath means you're not too far away from Dublin, so maybe you'll have an easier time of distance than the average online dater.

BubbleWrap85

Definitley wouldn't plan on travellin 100 miles though anywhere! Nobody's worth that startin out! Like I said, I'm not looking for a husband here, just a guy to get on with and the likes. Someone I can brag about and show off to my friends and be proud of, and for him to feel the same about me! God it's late. I'll blame that on my corniness

Allison91

I got screwed over, but dont let that stop you

Celtic67

Mrbrianmolko wrote: »

You'd just be afraid that a mate would see you on the site and you'd be ridiculed!

I often wondered about this, would be people be bothered if someone they knew stumbled across their profile and photo on one of these websites? Though I may be wrong to think like that it would be a genuine concern of mine.

BubbleWrap85

Ha thanks, suppose it's worth a try really. Being screwed over could happen to anyone at anytime! Fair amount of weirdos in the world! Just wondering are people my age really contemplating the whole dating site thing or is it generally for older people?

BubbleWrap85

I definitley wouldn't want people I know comin across it, but then again if they've found me they're obviously on it as well?? Just with my job and all I'd be pure mortified if anyone saw me on it, declaring that I was on the hunt for a man and all!!!!

Alessandra

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

I definitley wouldn't want people I know comin across it, but then again if they've found me they're obviously on it as well?? Just with my job and all I'd be pure mortified if anyone saw me on it, declaring that I was on the hunt for a man and all!!!!

That's my main problem with it as well. Irish people aren't very progressive in their attitude towards this kind of thing and none of my friends actually approve of online dating. I won't tell them that I've used a site. When you are in such a small country the liklihood is that you will come across someone you know(i have). You might as well get over it because at the end of the day you are doing nothing to be ashamed of! Have fun and be careful

K_P

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

I definitley wouldn't want people I know comin across it, but then again if they've found me they're obviously on it as well?? Just with my job and all I'd be pure mortified if anyone saw me on it, declaring that I was on the hunt for a man and all!!!!

Exactly! If they're looking on these websites then they're clearly on the hunt too! Having said that, I met my husband over the internet (not through a dating site) and loads of our friends and my family don't know. It still has something of a stigma attached to it.

swordsgal27

Go for it gal , anna nolan did a documentary on rte few weeks ago called web of desires , showed a few sides of the whole internet dating thingy ! Its so true that were about ten years behind america ! there doing it years over there and its the norm , friend of mine met a great guy on iliveindublin.com , as everyone says just be carefull , there are a huge amount of ppl out there in the same boat , least on the net its not a drunken kiss and a 6 digit mobile number you have the next day you,l know if you click with someone after an hour or so chattin , then do the exchange pics thing , gud luck with it ,

TheDriver

I think theres lot more peolpe doing it than you think and all the people I have met on it have been sound and very nice looking women, just didn't click with them but had a great date with them none the less. Just be careful, spot the weirdos/ultimately high maintenance girls/one night stand hunters and you will be fine. Meet in a pub for a chat and theres no harm in that!! Its great meeting people and you also learn what you should say about yourself and maybe what you shouldn't say!

BubbleWrap85

Ha, well I'm defo not an ultimately high maintenance girl that's for sure! Just easy going I would think! I'll give it a go anyway sure and see Fingers crossed!!! WOO!

andrewie

Defo go for it. Met my girlfriend online and we're together almost four years now.

BubbleWrap85

What do you suggest Andrewie? Would you say to see if you click by chatting and then meet, or what? I like to be honest in what I say and tell to people, but I don't want to be taken for a complete mug either!

andrewie

We chatted for hours each day and often talked on the phone and after about a week of this we decided it was time to meet up.

Get to know the person before meeting up.

I've went to meet ppl before who didn't show and was left looking stupid.

tbh

look, you sound like an honest, decent girl and I understand exactly what you are going through. All you are looking to do is expand your social "net" and widen your odds for meeting someone you really like. Most of us don't know huge amounts of people, and so if you don't click with those you do know, you need to meet more people.
right?

well, on those dating websites, the VAST majority of people are exactly the same. I mean, you're considering using the service, and you're not desperate, right? so why assume that the others users will be? Of course, some will be, but most will be just like you.

And another thing - this is the 21st century. Internet dating, and using the internet to form real life relationships is only going to become more common. So, don't hide the fact that you're online dating, any more than you'd hide going speed dating for example. There's nothing weird about it, and if your friends realise that you're using the system, it'll normalise it for them.

now you get out there and you go, girl!


edit ps: don't worry, you have more time than you realise. I went through that phase of thinking I was getting old when I was in my early twenties, now you all seem like kids to me

Predhead

To be honest thinking ''he'll come along when I'm not looking'' is kinda looking in a indirect way if you get me?! :rolleyes:

The best thing you can do is go out with your friends at any opportunity (not necessarily drinking) and focus on enjoying yourself with them. And go out with the ''who knows what'll happen'' attitude, don't rule things out.

Best of luck!

BubbleWrap85

The best thing you can do is go out with your friends at any opportunity (not necessarily drinking) and focus on enjoying yourself with them. And go out with the ''who knows what'll happen'' attitude, don't rule things out.


That is the attitude I already have! Don't worry! Enjoying myself with my friends is what I do best! And I don't agree that it's indirectly looking, if I don't expect to meet anyone or things to flourish, then I can't be disappointed can I! I'm just going along with things and seeing out they fare out! But thanks!

BubbleWrap85

Which sites should I try? Or anyone want to make things so much easier for me and just chat to me this way? LOL I already got one offer :P

Barlow07

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

Anyhow, I'm in the East Meath area if anyone's interested in restoring my faith in guys ha And in reply to an earlier post, I wouldn't say no to a 26/27 year old - I know about the maturity!!!

OP, if you do the internet dating be careful as i'm sure you;ve being told already a thousand times.

Out of interest how PM have you received since you posted the above

BubbleWrap85

I've gotten 3! Don't know if anything looks too promising though! Can't sense any spark yet!

Predhead

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

That is the attitude I already have! Don't worry! Enjoying myself with my friends is what I do best! And I don't agree that it's indirectly looking, if I don't expect to meet anyone or things to flourish, then I can't be disappointed can I! I'm just going along with things and seeing out they fare out! But thanks!

Yeah but my point was, and I noticed it before in myself is that you're still conscious that you're 'not looking'. I found if I did meet someone then it was only afterwards I'd realize I wasn't looking! So best thing is to forget about it entirely. But anyway, glad you're having fun! Let us know how it goes.

Robyn28

Hi i too am 22 and single. With a slight difference i have jus broken up with my boyfriend wel 5 mths now but we were going out bout yr and a half! I do like being single but there times i'd love to be back in a relationship. Since breaking up with him i have met bout 4 fella's usually on nites out and like you kissed, got numbers texted for a while and that's it NOTHING. Like you i also have the idealic idea of "he's out there & he's going to find me" but i'm sick of the kiss txt & nothing route!:(
As for the Internet Route i have had a look on some single sites but never any further than that suppose too scared and if i must admit bit embarressed!!!!! and as for lesbianiam mite be bit drastic!:L:L
Anyway sorry i haven't much advise only really that you're not on ur own! And maybe one day when you least expect it u wil meet someone nice. They mite even be starring you in the face and u just haven't REALLY seen them yet!!! Never Know.....Good Luck

jdivision

Just to add, i looked up an internet dating site and found two of my female mates on just one page - they wouldn't even know each other! I mentioned it to them and one was embarressed but I just pointed out I had been looking. The other one just said, yeah she found it great and it had worked for her. So go for it.

CCCP^

Two websites you might want to check out are Plentyoffish.com & OKcupid.com. Okcupid is the better of the two in terms of what you can actually do on the site although both are free. Most websites require you to pay some kind of subscription or fee, forget about them.

LegacyUser

Why forget about paid sites? Having to pay something is at least a partial barrier against wasters, it also means that people there have had to produce a credit card and so have some sort of real existence. It may cost but a successful relationship would be well worth it. Most paid sites allow your browse without having to pay.

Barlow07

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

I've gotten 3! Don't know if anything looks too promising though! Can't sense any spark yet!

+4 , I wont be sending you a PM though, i'll let you do that

Dudess

BubbleWrap85 wrote: »

I know I'm relatively "young"

Correction. You are very young (note the absence of quote marks). At the tender age of 22 it's ridiculous to be getting so caught up in finding a man - you can say you don't want anything serious all you like, but you clearly ARE feeling pressure to get into a relationship. Have some perspective: you're 22, not 52. Tons of 22-year-olds are single. And it's rare for those in relationships to still be with that person in five years' time.
Who's putting the pressure on though? You are. You should be just enjoying your youth and not getting miserable and anxious over something seriously not worth fretting over. Just relax and enjoy your early 20s, the guy thing will fall into place. Feeling at 22 like you'll never find a man is really sad (as in a shame). I promise you if you don't get rid of this cloud hanging over you, you WILL regret it in years to come. For god's sake, don't waste your youth. You only get one shot at it. And you're too young for online dating too. You're at an age where you have plenty of socialising opportunities - you're not 40 and working in a 10-hour-a-day job.
Plus, being desperate for a guy (and you are, no matter what you say) comes across very strongly. If you relax and just go with the flow and enjoy everything else in life, those far more positive vibes will emanate from you.

Gyalist

I know this goes against the majority opinion here but I just can't get my head around the idea of online dating. To me it reeks of desperation and social ineptness.

Dudess

Not necessarily. Some people might be too busy with work to get out and socialise. And when you get to a certain age, it's harder to find single people who could be potential partners.
But yes, I agree the OP is too young for it. And also OP, don't be stressed that you haven't been in a proper relationship by 22 - to you it may not seem normal but I promise you it is. How many relationships by 22 are that "serious" anyway? And of the ones which may be described as serious, how many of them last...?

scoot on

I've said it before on this board and i'll say it again. Personally I think if you plan on doing the "online dating" thing you shouldn't use the internet dating sites. Just post on msg boards like this and other one's that you are interested in and a lot of them have meet-ups organised. It's a great way of getting to know people without heading straight into a date situation.

Tragedy

Skip online dating OP, imho it just offers false hope and while there are plenty of nice guys/girls on it, the chances of clicking with one using text on a dating site is pretty slim, nevermind the hordes of weirdos out there.