Rival Cult

amp

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/PROJECT_CHANOLOGY/IRL_PROTEST_PAGE

randylonghorn

Capt'n Midnight

Selfosophy ftw.


http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Scientology

“The only way to make Scientology make sense would be to have all the 365 days of the year replaced with April 1.”

~ Captain Sarcasm on Scientology

The truth is funnier than anything we can make up. Really. Therefore, we at Uncyclopedia have surrendered to this fact and have reproduced the Xenu story, unabridged, unedited, in its entirety

A rabbi, a priest, an imam and a lawyer (Scientology priest) all walk into a bar, seemingly able to set aside their obvious differences, even in these religiously tense times, to get together for a beer and a game of pool. The lawyer poisons their drinks and takes their money. No punchline here.


Q: What do you get when you cross a Scientologist with a guy with a psychosis that causes him to lie, murder, cheat and steal without a care for any suffering it may cause others?
A: Two Scientologists.


Q: What do you call a scientologist with a can of petrol?
A: I don't have time to finish the joke, someone get a f***ing match!





$cientologists first find recruiting potentials on streets using a device called the BS-meter. The device measures the quantity of bull**** of the candidate. It also conducts a credit check on the applicant. The product of these two factors is called the "thetan level".

If the thetan level is acceptably high the $cientologists invite the candidate to make an Audition.

You can make your own BS Meter by taking a Voltmeter and writing "BS Meter" on it in felt tip pen, and then mailing off $1300 to the "Church".



Random Trivia
- A common favourite past-time of a $cientologist involves sueing people who call "the cult" a religion.
- They pass kool-aid laced with acid to impressional children.
- Scientology Is Less Of A Religion Than The Jedi Order....