Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Definitions

  • 03-02-2008 12:55pm
    #1
    rocky25
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    Definitions.

    School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

    Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

    Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

    Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

    Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

    Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

    Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

    Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

    Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    Father: A banker provided by nature.

    Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

    Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

    Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

    Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

    Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise


Advertisement