Irritated and sore during/after sex

LegacyUser

Hi there,
My gf and I have a long distance rship. We see each other for 1 week every 5-6 weeks or so.
Obviously when we are together at these times, we tend to have plenty of sex, ie 3 times a day or so. However, she suffers from irritation and soreness in her vagina some of the time. Its not due to lack of wetness though, i know that and she says the same. We always have lots of foreplay, though sometimes its just not possible when the mood takes us here and there. Its also not due to condoms as we dont use them. (She is using the patch and we were both fully tested before discarding the condoms.) Oh, and its not due to me being too big, im perfectly formed.
Her doctor at home tells her simply its due to not having sex for 5-6 weeks and then having lots of sex within a week when we do see each other. But we know that already. His suggestion was just to have more regular sex, which we cant do obviously, not at the moment anyway.

So, any suggestions here on how to prevent her feeling irritated and sore those few times?
I dont like the idea that she`s not always enjoying herself during our lovemaking.
Thanks.

Ciara2008

Myself and my ex were in a similar type situation.

We wereboth of normal porportions but as we both lived at home and sex was a novelty we tended to make the most of the times we had....I remember being very sore at times, sometimes the next day unable to sit down.

Then when we lived together and sex became regular and normal all that seemed to go - then, I moved away to work and as sex became less frequent the pain and sensitivity returned.

So, I'm guessing the doctor is right and it is to do with the not having sex for 5 or 6 weeks at a time,however I would also say the "hardness" (I wanted to use a different word) would contribute also - maybe ease yourselves back in to it before going for it a 3rd and 4th time

Dudess

+1
I "tighten" after long periods without sex.
And you admit that you often don't have time for foreplay - I personally need tons of it. Arousal causes changes to occur in the vagina to prepare it for penetration. If I wasn't aroused, the idea of a penis being jabbed in there really wouldn't appeal to me. However, when I'm really turned on I long to be penetrated.
How about watching some erotic movie scenes together (not porn)?

randylonghorn

OP, please understand that I am not trying to be a smartass when I suggest that you think about buying your gf a present of a vibrator.

This will help with the physical problems you mention, and it can also become a part of the fun between you ... for example, if you're having a late night chat on the phone or via MSN or whatever, she might find that a good time to try it out, and I'm sure you can figure out some way to join in at your end! Just because you are physically seperated doesn't mean you can't be intimate together.

microgirl

randylonghorn wrote: »

OP, please understand that I am not trying to be a smartass when I suggest that you think about buying your gf a present of a vibrator.

This will help with the physical problems you mention, and it can also become a part of the fun between you ... for example, if you're having a late night chat on the phone or via MSN or whatever, she might find that a good time to try it out, and I'm sure you can figure out some way to join in at your end! Just because you are physically seperated doesn't mean you can't be intimate together.

What he says ^^^^

Vibrator is really the only way for her to have more regular penetration in your current situation, and a vibrator most emphatically does not have to be for "alone time".

Also possibly not go 3 or 4 times a day, but I know that's very easy to say....

Is there any way at all ye can meet up more often?

Susannahmia

Irritated wrote: »

Hi there,
My gf and I have a long distance rship. We see each other for 1 week every 5-6 weeks or so.
Obviously when we are together at these times, we tend to have plenty of sex, ie 3 times a day or so. However, she suffers from irritation and soreness in her vagina some of the time. Its not due to lack of wetness though, i know that and she says the same. We always have lots of foreplay, though sometimes its just not possible when the mood takes us here and there. Its also not due to condoms as we dont use them. (She is using the patch and we were both fully tested before discarding the condoms.) Oh, and its not due to me being too big, im perfectly formed.
Her doctor at home tells her simply its due to not having sex for 5-6 weeks and then having lots of sex within a week when we do see each other. But we know that already. His suggestion was just to have more regular sex, which we cant do obviously, not at the moment anyway.

So, any suggestions here on how to prevent her feeling irritated and sore those few times?
I dont like the idea that she`s not always enjoying herself during our lovemaking.
Thanks.

+1 for the vibrator idea. Have had simular problems in the past. Even if you think she is wet enough use lubricant, it will make a difference. I would reccomend KY jelly as theres less chance of one of you being allergic etc. Oh and lots of foreplay.:)

Toots

Definitely agree with the vibrator idea. You could also try phone sex while you're apart, she could use the vibrator then. It'd be the next best thing to you being there in person.

Pythia

She could have thrush. It makes sex painful.
She could check with her doctor. It's very common and not an STI.

randylonghorn

Think the OP said she had seen her doctor, Pythia.

And wouldn't there be other symptoms?

Marksie

ONe thing that i would like to ask?

How do you go at it?

Is it hammertime? or very slow and gentle to get thing opened and accpeting.

Try working back to slow and prolonged rather than hard rapidthrusts.

Susannahmia

randylonghorn wrote: »

And wouldn't there be other symptoms?

Not necessarily I've had it for ages before without any other symptoms.

Pythia

randylonghorn wrote: »

And wouldn't there be other symptoms?

It differs from person to person but sometimes it's the only symptom.
Make sure your doctor has ruled it out anyway.
It's easily treatable.

Dudess

A major +1 to the vibrator idea and to Marksie's suggestion to take things slowly.
And thrush does indeed make things very raw and often sore in there. I wouldn't even consider sex when I've thrush - although sometimes the itch is so damn irritating you just want to jam something up there to "crush" the itch even for a second!

randylonghorn

Susannahmia wrote: »

Not necessarily I've had it for ages before without any other symptoms.

Pythia wrote: »

It differs from person to person but sometimes it's the only symptom.

Fair enough ... one slightly more knowledgable male here now!

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies everybody.
So, first of all, i`ve spoken to herself about it and we`ll take on board the suggestion of easing back into things...slower and gentler as opposed to hammertime, for the first few times anyway to see how it goes.
And we do have foreplay, but we`ll make sure to have even more whenever we can now in future.
Also, since we`re so far apart for so long we already have phone/skype sex, so we`ll think about looking into the vibrator idea for both stimulation and penetration for her when we`re apart and/or together.
And thrush, yes she got it last year shortly after one of our meetups, but we both subsequently got treatment and it`s been gone since.

Thanks again for your help.
We`ll look forward to working with your ideas next week when we`re together again.

Dudess

That's great! Let us know how you get on!!