the big break up

cuffs'n'collars

broke up with the bf very recently after four great years.Has anyone ever had a good break up??Has anyone ever not been the bad guy for doing the right thing.After thinking i was doing something good for both of us like ripping off a plaster real quickly i was told i was hated and all the bf's friends hate me too.Am i being unrealistic to be shocked by that???

Miss Fluff

cuffsncollars wrote: »

.After thinking i was doing something good for both of us like ripping off a plaster real quickly i was told i was hated and all the bf's friends hate me too.Am i being unrealistic to be shocked by that???

Of course his mates care, I should imagine yours do about you?

cuffs'n'collars

yea your right.I think i was shocked because he didnt seem too upset at the time and didnt argue over the break up.Then all of a sudden its all this hatred

Marksie

cuffsncollars wrote: »

shocked

Probably his reaction to. Now he is actually feeling it.
If we look at your sticking plaster analogy. When it is ripped off fast, you dont feel it sraight away..then it hurts.

You were unrealistic if yuo didnt expect and adverse reaction at some point.
you cant juts expect 4 years to go like that.

So all you can do is let time pass ad hopefully evryone concerned will move on

Oh and no breakup is ever "good" feelings wise at some point you are going to feel sad, or angry or upset.
It may be for the best, but it is never easy

Liam Byrne

Don't worry about it.....I did someone a favour before Christmas (it was blatantly obvious that she wanted out, even though I didn't) and she even emailed me saying sorry about how things had turned out....

So basically all seemed well (there was no point me wanting it when she didn't, so what I had hoped for - a return to the good bits - wasn't an issue), but now (in her eyes) it's all MY fault because I broke up with HER !!!!!

Sometimes there's no logic involved......

nacho libre

cuffsncollars wrote: »

broke up with the bf very recently after four great years.Has anyone ever had a good break up??Has anyone ever not been the bad guy for doing the right thing.After thinking i was doing something good for both of us like ripping off a plaster real quickly i was told i was hated and all the bf's friends hate me too.Am i being unrealistic to be shocked by that???

yes. he probably had no idea this was coming so when he first heard it he was in shock. it's always easier for the person doing the breakup to spin it as they were doing both people a favour. i'm pretty sure it doesn't feel like favour to him- even if it is in the long run.
i'm not condoning his reaction but you should realise it is understandable after being together for a long period of time

Liam Byrne

nacho libre wrote: »

it's always easier for the person doing the breakup to spin it as they were doing both people a favour

Ouch! Felt that one, nacho.....can I just categorically say that that wasn't the case in my scenario....absolutely no spin from here.