Whats the problem with tabloids you snobby cnuts??

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:21pm #1

Pighead has been known to purchase a tabloid red topped newspaper on occasion and he makes absolutely no apology for doing so. They serve a purpose which is to feed Pighead the main news stories into an easily readable format as well as showing a bevy of pretty chicks wearing next to nothing.

Its cool to bash the tabloids and many of the attitudes towards them stink of snobbery and smugness. Of course theres lots of makey up stuff in them but if your clever like Pighead you'll read it whilst chuckling and whistfully say "Who makes this stuff up?" Most people who hate tabloids also tend to be ugly with smelly breath.

watna · 30-01-2008 4:22pm

Poor effort Pighead, poor effort!

6th · 30-01-2008 4:23pm

Christ, I 100% agree with Piggy. Time for 6th to leave I think?

Anyway I have to buy a copy of every paper in the shop often enough (for work) and the broadsheets are dull as fcuk! Some of them are just tabloids but without the imagination.

30-01-2008 4:24pm

Trying too hard Pighead

Enid Coleslaw · 30-01-2008 4:25pm

I still mourn the loss of The Weekly World News.

SUNGOD · 30-01-2008 4:25pm

just ruined your chances on the funniest boardsie thread

Ruu_Old · 30-01-2008 4:26pm

Agreed as a fan of 'The Daily Pighead Chronicle Times' which I pick up every morning. They are also multi purpose, chip shops use them to wrap up your fish and chips. Fantastic.

admiralofthefleet · 30-01-2008 4:26pm

the only good thing about the sun is the racing, templegate is like an employer

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:29pm

SUNGOD wrote: »

just ruined your chances on the funniest boardsie thread

Off topic SUNGOD. Speaking of off topicness you're a bit of a spanner aren't you? Come on lad SORT YOURSELF OUT!

ScumLord · 30-01-2008 4:30pm

I think tabloids are written by people with ADD. Everything has to be shocking and over the top, it appeals to the lowest possible denominator. I always shake my head when reading it knowing that half the crap written in them is probably at best lies. If it's not full of lies then the reporter is a failure because I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of he's shiny head.

Living in a small town I have to suffer the gossip mill on a regular basis where facts are like some exotic anal pleasure toy to a farmer. As long as the story entertains for the period the mongs mouth is open it's true enough. Tabloids are the small town old gossips, afraid of their own shadow and determined to spread they're corrupted view of the world with everyone.

I hate them with a passion, children should be taught about the dangers of these rags.

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:31pm

KaG1888 wrote: »

Trying too hard Pighead

Not trying hard enough KaG1888.:(

IvyTheTerrible · 30-01-2008 4:31pm

Aren't the people who say they don't read tabloids the same people who lie about buying their knickers in Penneys? :rolleyes:

kmick · 30-01-2008 4:31pm

Pigheads posts are exactly the same as the tabloids.

Red head
Little content
Mostly made up
Enjoyed by Joe Duffy types

Perhaps Pighead should change his name to Pig-RedTop-Head

30-01-2008 4:32pm

Pighead wrote: »

Not trying hard enough KaG1888.:(

*hopes*

Dinter · 30-01-2008 4:35pm

Editorially, tabloids have too much of a biased slant that’s solely aimed at appealing to the lowest denominator and to keep their advertisers happy. When I become a twenty-year-old yob from Brixton then I’m sure they’ll suit me down to the ground.

At the moment though, all I want from a newspaper is the facts because I’m more than capable of creating my own impressions from those. Nor do I need head wrecking Englishisms like phwoar or any of that sh1te.

The only paper I read is the Irish Times and that’s solely because their news sections are far enough away from their opinion / editorial sections for me to avoid them easily.

6th · 30-01-2008 4:35pm

Enid Coleslaw wrote: »

I still mourn the loss of The Weekly World News.

RIP Bat Boy

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:37pm

ScumLord wrote: »

I think tabloids are written by people with ADD. Everything has to be shocking and over the top, it appeals to the lowest possible denominator. I always shake my head when reading it knowing that half the crap written in them is probably at best lies. If it's not full of lies then the reporter is a failure because I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of he's shiny head.

Living in a small town I have to suffer the gossip mill on a regular basis where facts are like some exotic anal pleasure toy to a farmer. As long as the story entertains for the period the mongs mouth is open it's true enough. Tabloids are the small town old gossips, afraid of their own shadow and determined to spread they're corrupted view of the world with everyone.

I hate them with a passion, children should be taught about the dangers of these rags.

What a load of tosh. Firstly ScumLord, the fact that you "always shake your head when reading" the tabloids would suggest that you read them quite regularly. Secondly, theres some cracking journo's working with the tabloids and many of them end up working for the broadsheets. Thirdly their sports coverage is second to none.

Oriel · 30-01-2008 4:38pm

They're written by stupid cnuts for stupid cnuts.

ejmaztec · 30-01-2008 4:38pm

Can you please give us an example of one of the easily readable news items, to which you refer, and would they have anything to do with big jugs?

Pherekydes · 30-01-2008 4:38pm

Tabloids serve two very good purposes:

When you run out of nice soft loo paper, they will disguise the fact that you've a bad case of piles.
You can readily identify who not to chat to on the Luas/Bus/Dart or pick for your pub quiz team.

30-01-2008 4:39pm

Pighead wrote: »

What a load of tosh. Firstly ScumLord, the fact that you "always shake your head when reading" the tabloids would suggest that you read them quite regularly. Secondly, theres some cracking journo's working with the tabloids and many of them end up working for the broadsheets. Thirdly their sports coverage is second to none.

I read the Star a good bit. I like your man Terry's rants about the government & the sport is pretty decent.

6th · 30-01-2008 4:39pm

ScumLord wrote: »

I think tabloids are written by people with ADD. Everything has to be shocking and over the top, it appeals to the lowest possible denominator. I always shake my head when reading it knowing that half the crap written in them is probably at best lies. If it's not full of lies then the reporter is a failure because I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of he's shiny head.

Living in a small town I have to suffer the gossip mill on a regular basis where facts are like some exotic anal pleasure toy to a farmer. As long as the story entertains for the period the mongs mouth is open it's true enough. Tabloids are the small town old gossips, afraid of their own shadow and determined to spread they're corrupted view of the world with everyone.

I hate them with a passion, children should be taught about the dangers of these rags.

And yet you read them? Seems a bit silly. Do you listen to music you dont like too?

Jazzy · 30-01-2008 4:40pm

they are very good at wasting ppls time. even the porn in them is sh1te. i read the front page in the shops every lunchtime for a giggle, thats about it

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:41pm

kmick wrote: »

Pigheads posts are exactly the same as the tabloids.

Red head
Little content
Mostly made up
Enjoyed by Joe Duffy types

Perhaps Pighead should change his name to Pig-RedTop-Head

kmicks posts are exactly the same as a lump of doggy poo.

Brown head
soft spladdgy content
Mostly stinking
Enjoyed by nobody

Perhaps kmick should change his name to kdoggypoomick

LadyJ · 30-01-2008 4:42pm

They do have some hilarious headlines!

"Police forgot to check Maddie's bed"

"Katie was braindead"

FlutterinBantam · 30-01-2008 4:42pm

Sorry Pigser, you bombed on this one.

Normally a fan,but must assume you haven't got a chance to "tip cement" in the last six months so hence the angry angst.

"Whats the problem with tabloids you snobby cnuts??"

That's a sentence Piggser.

Tabloids don't do sentences.

Check out my strapline... thats the way they do it.

Desperation doesn't suit you sir.

Dinter · 30-01-2008 4:44pm

Pighead wrote: »

What a load of tosh. Firstly ScumLord, the fact that you "always shake your head when reading" the tabloids would suggest that you read them quite regularly. Secondly, theres some cracking journo's working with the tabloids and many of them end up working for the broadsheets. Thirdly their sports coverage is second to none.

Journalists are employed by tabloids to perpetrate the stories and slant of the day, as laid down by their editor. If they don't then the subs gouge and mangle their stories to ensure that they conform with it. It's a very touchy subject for the more concientious journo just out of college.

Course the broadsheets aren't much better these days. Sure the indo has finally stopped fighting its ironclad editorial policy and embraced its tabloid size.

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:45pm

Slow coach wrote: »

Tabloids serve two very good purposes:
You can readily identify who not to chat to on the Luas/Bus/Dart or pick for your pub quiz team.

Right then hotshot, you've just fcuked up. Pighead knows for a fact that he's cleverer than you.

Tell you what, you round up your speccy know it all broadsheet reading mates and Pighead will round up his tabloid reading buddies and without a shadow of a doubt Pigheads Panthers will beat your snobby arses around the pub in a table quiz.

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:49pm

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Sorry Pigser, you bombed on this one.

Normally a fan,but must assume you haven't got a chance to "tip cement" in the last six months so hence the angry angst.

"Whats the problem with tabloids you snobby cnuts??"

That's a sentence Piggser.

Tabloids don't do sentences.

Check out my strapline... thats the way they do it.

Desperation doesn't suit you sir.

Bombed? Flutter me old flower you're as wrong as wrong can be. You like to present yourself as an erudite gentleman who wears a waistcoat and twirls a cane but coime on you're an avid fan of Newstalk. Thats tabloid radio if ever Pighead heard it. You say no to paper tabloidism yet embrace aural tabloidism! You're a confused man Bantam.

Dinter · 30-01-2008 4:50pm

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead has been known to purchase a tabloid red topped newspaper on occasion and he makes absolutely no apology for doing so.

So do you read a broadsheet the rest of the time then like a snobby cnut?

ScumLord · 30-01-2008 4:50pm

Pighead wrote: »

What a load of tosh. Firstly ScumLord, the fact that you "always shake your head when reading" the tabloids would suggest that you read them quite regularly. Secondly, theres some cracking journo's working with the tabloids and many of them end up working for the broadsheets. Thirdly their sports coverage is second to none.

If you like your soccer it's good I suppose but I don't like soccer my only sporting interest is motor sport.

I do get to browse through them regularly at friends houses during lunch and such. I read them for a laugh and mock the people who bought them. I don't think there's any cracking jornos working on tabloids, I don't read broadsheets either. I realise that may make me sound stupid and unread but so be it. Newspapers are muck.

LadyJ wrote:

They do have some hilarious headlines!

If your looking for hilarious headlines nothing beats the Tuam herald and other farmer rags from the wesht.

Pighead · 30-01-2008 4:56pm

Dinter wrote: »

So do you read a broadsheet the rest of the time then like a snobby cnut?

Ooooh Dinter tries to trap Pighead in a corner with an intricant move but unfortunately Pighead fleetness of foot and speed of thought gets him off the ropes and back into Dinters face. Heres how:

PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO HATE TABLOIDS ARE SNOBBY CNUTS.
PEOPLE WHO READ BROADHEETS AREN'T SNOBBY CNUTS.
PEOPLE CAN READ BOTH
IE PIGHEAD ISN'T A SNOBBY CNUT.

Unlucky son.

ScumLord · 30-01-2008 4:56pm

PiersMorgan wrote: »

The Irish Times uses a journaliser machine which takes one story and generates 50 articles on the same subject with the same words but in different order.

I'm convinced tabloids have a computer program that generates their stories. Insert celebrity, venue, state of undress and desired scandal.

Dragan · 30-01-2008 4:59pm

Pighead, i used to enjoy your rants but these days it feels like you are reaching just so people don't forget what an angry/funny little person you are.

Please bring back the old, proper pissed off Pighead.

Yours,

Concerned Fan.

ejmaztec · 30-01-2008 5:00pm

PiersMorgan wrote: »

The fact that Ireland has not embraced Colonial Journalism has meant it remains a backwater of intellectual vapidness.

Phwooaarrr!! Is what made England Great.

Come into the 21st Century and Embrace the Tabloid Revolution.

The Irish Times uses a journaliser machine which takes one story and generates 50 articles on the same subject with the same words but in different order.

Oh and by the way you can keep Northern Ireland we can't stand them.

Piers Morgan - Former Editor of the Mirror and Genuine Englishman

The best thing that Piers Morgan ever did was get bashed by Jeremy Clarkson on a plane. It was a great pity that Jeremy didn't toss him out of the emergency exit at 30000 feet..

LadyJ · 30-01-2008 5:01pm

ScumLord wrote: »

If your looking for hilarious headlines nothing beats the Tuam herald and other farmer rags from the wesht.

I can only imagine! The Enniscorthy paper had a great one a few years back. Front page news in that town is:

"Cemetery is full!"

tech77 · 30-01-2008 5:02pm

What's with all the Pighead haters?
I think Pighead needs to start a witheringly hilarious thread to counteract the impending Pighead backlash and deal with the threats to his putative reign as resident boards funnyman.

30-01-2008 5:02pm

Dragan wrote: »

Pighead, i used to enjoy your rants but these days it feels like you are reaching just so people don't forget what an angry/funny little person you are.

Please bring back the old, proper pissed off Pighead.

Yours,

Concerned Fan.

here here

Pighead · 30-01-2008 5:02pm

Dragan wrote: »

Pighead, i used to enjoy your rants but these days it feels like you are reaching just so people don't forget what an angry/funny little person you are.

Please bring back the old, proper pissed off Pighead.

Yours,

Concerned Fan.

Pighead has never been or will never be properly pissed off. Pighead spends his days in a general air of satisfaction and hope. You chose the wrong guy to look up to my little friend.

Yours

Pighead.

Dragan · 30-01-2008 5:05pm

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead has never been or will never be properly pissed off. Pighead spends his days in a general air of satisfaction and hope. You chose the wrong guy to look up to my little friend.

Yours

Pighead.

Now, now Pighead. You're reaching a little bit to call it looking up to. Your threads occassionally entertain me for a few minutes in work and thats about it. Sadly even that small service you offer to society seems to be slacking somewhat.

Dinter · 30-01-2008 5:07pm

PiersMorgan wrote: »

Piers Morgan - Former Editor of the Mirror and Genuine Englishman

Not much of an editor if you didn't manage to fact check the fake pictures that got you sacked.

ejmaztec · 30-01-2008 5:10pm

Tabloids are for people with very short arms and even shorter attention spans. On the other hand, you don't see many knuckle-draggers reading the broadsheets. It's a bit of a paradox really.

Pighead · 30-01-2008 5:12pm

Dragan wrote: »

Now, now Pighead. You're reaching a little bit to call it looking up to. Your threads occassionally entertain me for a few minutes in work and thats about it. Sadly even that small service you offer to society seems to be slacking somewhat.

Listen buddy, Pigheads sorry that the posteryou chose to idolise out of the thousands of posters on boards has let you down but you have to accept things move on. Back in 92 The Saw Doctors released All The Way From Tuam as their 2nd album. It was a load of old bollocks. Pighead loved their first album and was disappointed how his heroes had let him down. Did he sulk, cry, moan whinge? Nope, just sighed quietly and said" Sorry lads that was ****, you're heroes no more". End of story.

yaynay · 30-01-2008 5:18pm

kmick wrote: »

Pigheads posts are exactly the same as the tabloids.

Red head
Little content
Mostly made up
Enjoyed by Joe Duffy types

Perhaps Pighead should change his name to Pig-RedTop-Head

What the fvck is a Joe Duffy type?

People who don't have a silver spoon stuck up their ho... oh wait, I mean mouth... same thing I suppose considering most of them speak out of their hole anyway, while juggling marbles in their mouth.

eamonnm79 · 30-01-2008 5:24pm

You guys need to read, watch the documentary manufacturing consent. The shape of a paper doesnt matter if the person that owns the paper has a political agenda, and they always do. Independant media are the only ones that can be even half trusted.

Dragan · 30-01-2008 5:25pm

Pighead wrote: »

Listen buddy, Pigheads sorry that the posteryou chose to idolise out of the thousands of posters on boards has let you down but you have to accept things move on. Back in 92 The Saw Doctors released All The Way From Tuam as their 2nd album. It was a load of old bollocks. Pighead loved their first album and was disappointed how his heroes had let him down. Did he sulk, cry, moan whinge? Nope, just sighed quietly and said" Sorry lads that was ****, you're heroes no more". End of story.

See, thats more like the old Pighead. General bull**** post, ignoring points made by the poster you are interacting with and crazy metaphors.

Good boy. Keep it up and you'll get a treat, or maybe even a pat on your little piggy head.

FlutterinBantam · 30-01-2008 5:36pm

Stop rooting Pigser,no truffles in this thread for you;)

OPENROAD · 30-01-2008 6:54pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

The best thing that Piers Morgan ever did was get bashed by Jeremy Clarkson on a plane. It was a great pity that Jeremy didn't toss him out of the emergency exit at 30000 feet..

I like Piers, also responsible for the best tabloid headline ever imo.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/qwghlm/46914328/

FunkZ · 30-01-2008 6:57pm

The sports section is a disaster in them...

And The Sun has dedicated a whole section to Amy Winehouse, what the fuzz?

ScumLord · 30-01-2008 7:17pm

FunkZ wrote: »

The sports section is a disaster in them...

And The Sun has dedicated a whole section to Amy Winehouse, what the fuzz?

they like to bully those less fortunate than them selfs and highlighting her drug use diverts attention away from there own drug abuse.

Pherekydes · 30-01-2008 7:29pm

Dragan wrote: »

Your threads occassionally entertain me for a few minutes in work and thats about it.

A bit like a tabloid paper.

Whats the problem with tabloids you snobby cnuts??

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