Should I travel?

Irishcrx

Looking for some advice lads and ladies, I'm 20 nearly 21 and have come into some money. Now i'm under pressure from my family to go get a mortgage and buy a house and I guess settle, which is a good/smart idea, I've got my own car, a decent job and a gf. However I've been working 9-5 for 3 years now and I've been with my gf 4 and she wants to move in with me into the house, but I don't think she's mature enough yet, we fight quite alot and she can get a little out of control, vocal about it and pretty unreasanable so I don't know how that will work out, also since I've been with her I haven't been able to get out alot/enjoy myself and I fear I'll hold that against her or myself in years to come.

So should I just up and go to Australia for a year?That was my original plan but I've so many people telling me what to do I've hardly have time to come back to think what i want cause i'm trying to consider my family/ gf etc. I don't mind leaving my job as I'll probably be able to come back to that and my car etc, I'm only 21 and the stress is making me go crazy as I feel about 30 and that life is just flying by me. My mate is leaving for aus this year and reckons I should go with him and re-establish myself.

Advice guy's?

Xavi6

Go to Oz. Best thing I ever did. I'm here with my girlfriend though so that part I can't help you with.

I moved here last year when I was 21. Finished college but didn't want to be settled in a career and tied down like yourself. In that last year I've had so many wonderful experiences that I have shared with both her and friends I came over with. Would you not consider bringing her with you? Then you could both share the experiences together yet it would be in a group so things wouldn't just be all confined to you and her if you know what I mean. You would have other outlets if you need time to yourself.

Either way go over. You'll regret NOT doing it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Of course, you're just going to get a load of people tellign you what to do here as well, you do know that, don't you ?!

My advice would be to travel, but nessecarily as far as Aussie or nessecarily for as long as a year. You're at a very young age for settling down and if you a mortgage is not a decision to be taken lightly (if you're not sure, it's probably not a good idea)

How would the girlfriend feel about going with you? How would you feel about taking her?

codylocks

Hiya!!

just thought i'd give you my advice. speaking as someone who's done a little travelling away from a boyfriend (3months in the US), i can safely say that you should go with your heart and head to Australia. You are totally right that you feel your life is passing you by, because it is! you're so young to be settling with a house and moving in with a girl. I'm nearly 26 and have had a boyfriend over seven years now and one of the strengths of our relationship still being brilliant after this time is following your heart and doing what makes you happy, even if sometimes that means being apart for a little while.

you seem a little doubtful about your relationship with her also. i mean i'm sure you are happy but at 21 you don't have to settle for being kinda happy. its such a big step to get a mortgage and a house, its very difficult to get out of it. a year is not that long and yet it could re-ingivorate your life and give you a whole new outlook. lots of my friends have done the year in oz thing (i just couldn't becaues of work commitments) but they have all loved it and come back with a new energy for life. i say go for it. your girlfriend will understand and if not then it wasn't meant to be. put yourself first, the rest of your life you will be answering to wives and kids!!!!!!!!!

best of luck

Poppers1888

Go to Oz with your friend - maybe just for a few months instead of the year and save some of the money.................I always regret not going to Oz when I was in my early 20s. Have apartment car etc now - and cant go!!!!!!

GO GO GO

listermint

I felt the same a couple of years ago, and i was in a 4 yr relationship. That relationship went by the wayside, mutually. But back then the only thing stopping me was her. And i really wanted to experience travel for myself. Now i have decided to go off travelling. I'd rather do it now than regret it in ten years time and say to myself i should have done that. So now im off in a couple of weeks leaving a recent relationship behind and seeing it all for myself. Im happy to be going, a bit disappointed to leave my current girlfriend behind but i felt it had to be done and we may pick it up when i come back. No one knows what the future holds and im not standing around waiting for it to pass me by like i did a few years ago. I say go for it, do what makes you happy.

ruskin

In a way, Im in a similar position as yourself. Im out of college, have a good job and have parents always on to me to get a house of my own and settle. But im not happy with all of that. Im only 22 and in many ways i still feel like a child. I say you should definately go and travel and see this big and wonderful world. When you hear of these round the world flights, I think the only time in your life to do one of those is when you are in your very early 20s with some likeminded friends. I even think that in say, 5 years, you wouldnt be in the right headspace to take it on, and even if you were, many of your friends would be settled into their lives. Go travel while the energy and enthusiasm in still in you (that being said, i wish i took my own advice)

Irishcrx

Thanks, I know but I just wanted to get opinions from people who don't know me?Sometimes that can be better you get me? Money isn't an issue with going i'm very lucky and greatful for that and I'll still be able to come back and have some left over after a year.

I could bring my girlfriend but she isn't into travelling she'd only go to please me and well....I feel she might hold me back over there she gets very defencive when I do anything without letting her know what I'm doing/where I am etc etc. I wanna go and do what I want for a year find myself not have the same as I have here. I know it might sound confusing but that's it..I am confused.

Xavi6

Irishcrx wrote: »

Thanks, I know but I just wanted to get opinions from people who don't know me?Sometimes that can be better you get me? Money isn't an issue with going i'm very lucky and greatful for that and I'll still be able to come back and have some left over after a year.

I could bring my girlfriend but she isn't into travelling she'd only go to please me and well....I feel she might hold me back over there she gets very defencive when I do anything without letting her know what I'm doing/where I am etc etc. I wanna go and do what I want for a year find myself not have the same as I have here. I know it might sound confusing but that's it..I am confused.

You don't sound confused to me to be honest. You want a trip away and don't want to be held back. You've said as much in both your posts. To me that's your answer. And if you're single you'll have plenty to take your mind of her over here

blah

Go. You know what you want. You're too young to settle down now, if you do you'll end up regretting it in a few years and act out.

LegacyUser

Irishcrx wrote: »

I've been with my gf 4 and she wants to move in with me into the house, but I don't think she's mature enough yet, we fight quite alot and she can get a little out of control, vocal about it and pretty unreasanable so I don't know how that will work out, also since I've been with her I haven't been able to get out alot/enjoy myself and I fear I'll hold that against her or myself in years to come.
Advice guy's?

i think you probably also want a way out ot the relationship.......and travel may do that for you too.

There's no point living the life that someone else is scripting for you. Only you know what you want, and tbh it looks like you've settled into a 40 year old's life at the age of 20. If you want to travel, Go for it!

tbh

Go. think of it as an investment in your future. You've years and years ahead of you to get a house, but a chance to do this, at your age, and with a bit of money, is one you'll never get again. Leave as much as you can in a high-interest account, and get out and do a bit of living. Life doesn't give you these opportunities very often my friend

Irishcrx

I think I am just going to go , Just a have a few thing's to sort first like telling my girlfriend I'll be gone, storing stuff etc etc, has anybody on the boards ever been over there? What's the best kind of places to stay?

tbh

if you want some advice:

: Travel light. it's much easier to drop everything and go to Perth if you don't have tons of stuff with you

: Live cheap. It's better to scrimp and not work, than to work and live well. If you want to work, take no-brainer jobs that you can quit with no notice.

: don't worry - there are probably more Irish over there than here.

jdivision

If you're 20 why on earth would you want to settle down? Do you really want to face 45 years of paying the mortgage and working 9-5. Seriously you're way too young to be thinking like that. In addition, buying a depreciating asset makes no sense. Put the money in a lump sum deposit account until you know what to do with it.

Balmed Out

Go but not to OZ. Its one of the dullest countries ive ever been to, full of irish people who may as well have gone to killarney in the sun. If you want to actually see the world etc pick some place else and actually do some travelling.

LegacyUser

Balmed Out wrote: »

Go but not to OZ. Its one of the dullest countries ive ever been to, full of irish people who may as well have gone to killarney in the sun. If you want to actually see the world etc pick some place else and actually do some travelling.

You think?
Australia is a fantastic country, so much to see and explore.
Of course, if you limit yourself to Irish people and Irish bars, you're not really exploring very much.

Australia is what you make it. I spend 10 months travelling there alone and had a fantastic time.

OP if you want to go, go! I dithered about it because I would be travelling alone but I'm so glad I went. That was 10 years ago and I have friends now who are seriously regretting not taking a year out when they were 21.

Irishcrx

How did you find it going on your own?... Well everything I've heard back about OZ has been only good, theres so much there to do, the beachs, surfing, sky diving all thing's I'd love to do. Of course I won't just be in OZ though i wanna see Thailand, New Zealand and a few others along the way, plan is were going to buy a van and travel through OZ that way picking up work along the way so we can see the real OZ and not just Sydney..Also really wanna see Bearded dragons and Aussie water dragons as I have two at home and would love to see them in there natural climate..

blow69

You really should go! You're too young for all this responsibilty. Life is gonna pass you right by if you do what everyone else wants you to do. Go to Oz or where ever. Life will suck soon enough:)

TestTransmission

Irishcrx wrote: »

How did you find it going on your own?... Well everything I've heard back about OZ has been only good, theres so much there to do, the beachs, surfing, sky diving all thing's I'd love to do. Of course I won't just be in OZ though i wanna see Thailand, New Zealand and a few others along the way, plan is were going to buy a van and travel through OZ that way picking up work along the way so we can see the real OZ and not just Sydney..Also really wanna see Bearded dragons and Aussie water dragons as I have two at home and would love to see them in there natural climate..

Go i tell ya!im back 3 months,i actually went with the gf...and it was her idea to go..but however,take the year..enjoy it.i cant talk to any of my mates about how oz was,,caus they all seem to be stressed out over mortgages and stuff.They regret that they didnt go with us.Met plenty of ppl over there travelling by themselves,no strings,they cud do what they wanted..when they wanted

tbh

everybody I know that went, now has a house. Nobody I know who bought a house at the time has ever been to Aus.

LegacyUser

Irishcrx wrote: »

How did you find it going on your own?... Well everything I've heard back about OZ has been only good, theres so much there to do, the beachs, surfing, sky diving all thing's I'd love to do. Of course I won't just be in OZ though i wanna see Thailand, New Zealand and a few others along the way, plan is were going to buy a van and travel through OZ that way picking up work along the way so we can see the real OZ and not just Sydney..Also really wanna see Bearded dragons and Aussie water dragons as I have two at home and would love to see them in there natural climate..

It was fine. The great thing about travelling alone is that you can have plenty of company if you want it, there are literally thousands of people travelling alone there and you'll meet all sorts.

If you want time out on your own, you can have that too and you're not restricted by anyone when it comes to moving around/changing jobs etc.

Go for it.

As an aside, I travelled a lot before I bought my house. And guess what? I still travel, I still take long holidays to far-flung places every year.

You're in a position where you can take a whole year or more out, so do it!

JackG

You have two options:

1) travel and spend.

2) Stay in the job for another year, buy a house ( will be tight money wise ). After some time eg 1 or two years, let the house out ( maybe the rent will cover mortgage ), then travel. You then have a place to return to.

I've been travelling a couple of times and found the best time to go is at the age of 24-26. You appreciate so much more at that age.

just my thoughts and good luck with whatever you do........

Irishcrx

Thanks for all the advice, I think I'm going to book for the end of the year and head, I'll have about €170,000 from inheridence, I'll take about 20k to australia, clear my debts and leave the rest in the bank for a year then when I get back I'll still have a deposit on a house and be able to get back into work etc and sort it then after seeing the world a bit, I think i'd be mad not too..

nomadphase

Irishcrx wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice, I think I'm going to book for the end of the year and head, I'll have about €170,000 from inheridence, I'll take about 20k to australia, clear my debts and leave the rest in the bank for a year then when I get back I'll still have a deposit on a house and be able to get back into work etc and sort it then after seeing the world a bit, I think i'd be mad not too..

enjoy your travels. have fun planning (in the loose sense) checking out all those places you thought you might want to see, maybe you can fit them in.
maybe there is a place special to the person you received the inheritance from, this might be a place worth visiting.

Irishcrx

Cheers, yeah I'll have a look at the places I wanna see and see what i can fit in and what I can't. I'll probably buy a van over there and drive through australia that way I can see thing's along the way aswell and not just train stations or airports.

Dave!

Woah dude, 21 and being pressurised into settling down?! Not good! Although I can see where they're coming from since you've come into money, etc.

Clear your debts, work out how much money you'll need for the year, and put the rest aside for your return.

Hell of a dilemma to be in by the way!

But I see you've made up your mind. Good call! I'm sure you'll have the best time ever.

I am extremely jealous of you

Mr. Incognito

Go.

House prices will be cheaper when you're back and in the meantime that interest will be building.

evry1sm8

DaveMcG wrote: »

I am extremely jealous of you

I am so jealous too im 26 and STILL have not gone travelling properly...

tbh

I was 26 when I went - still time for you

evry1sm8

Yeah, i guess so I just never came across the right time to go...
Other people were always going when i either couldnt afford it or was doing other things, plus i was with a guy for most part of 7 years and that kinda kept us both around.

Did you go to Oz like Irishcrx is thinking of doing??

tbh

yep - I went on my own - crapping it when I left, but it was the best decision I ever made (except for deciding to get married, of course!!)

evry1sm8

Awww thats sweet...except getting married...

Yeah sometimes i get the crazy notion of just picking up and going somewhere on my own, even though it seems really scary i know that things always seem scarier if you havent done them before...but once you do you always think "what the hell was i so scared of!"

If i could go back to being Irishcrx's age and had the opportunities he has now, id be gone like a shot!!!

Dave!

Just go evry1sm8!!! Or soon enough (if not already) you'll have a mortgage, kids, career.... and it'll be really difficult to get away.

evry1sm8

Thanks i think i will, maybe i'll plan to go next year and spend this year saving??
Either way i think something inside me is getting more and more restless and is saying to me loudly "go travelling!"

Elessar

I'm 22 and don't understand the travelling thing. It is because it's some kind of fashion? I prefer the security of home.

OP, I think in your case if you want to do it, do it. Definately don't get a mortgage or settle with a girl who you are only so-so about. You don't have to go for a year, maybe a few months, come back, then go off somewhere else a while a few months later.

Irishcrx

Well the travelling thing for me is that I don't want to die only seeing Ireland, I have an urge to explore and educate myself, and being away from home for a long time can put thing's in perspective. Don't get me wrong I do love my girlfriend and we don have great time together, I just don't know if she's mature enough for all this even though she thinks she is and i'm finding the line of loving her and BEING in love with her a thin one, I don't know what side i'm standing on. Being with only one person since you were 16 can be very isolating, thinking of what you could be missing.

tombren

Irishcrx wrote: »

Looking for some advice lads and ladies, I'm 20 nearly 21 and have come into some money. Now i'm under pressure from my family to go get a mortgage and buy a house and I guess settle, which is a good/smart idea, I've got my own car, a decent job and a gf. However I've been working 9-5 for 3 years now and I've been with my gf 4 and she wants to move in with me into the house, but I don't think she's mature enough yet, we fight quite alot and she can get a little out of control, vocal about it and pretty unreasanable so I don't know how that will work out, also since I've been with her I haven't been able to get out alot/enjoy myself and I fear I'll hold that against her or myself in years to come.

So should I just up and go to Australia for a year?That was my original plan but I've so many people telling me what to do I've hardly have time to come back to think what i want cause i'm trying to consider my family/ gf etc. I don't mind leaving my job as I'll probably be able to come back to that and my car etc, I'm only 21 and the stress is making me go crazy as I feel about 30 and that life is just flying by me. My mate is leaving for aus this year and reckons I should go with him and re-establish myself.

Advice guy's?

was in a simliar(ish) position to you a few years ago, had quite a bit of cash saved from working for a couple of years, parents wanted me to get settle down, buy a house etc. also had a 4 year relationship under my belt.
chose to go travelling instead, best thing i've done, brought my gf coz relationship was going fine,
the only advice i'd have is not to restrict yourself to oz, nz and thailand. i spent 5 months in oz in all, 3 months living and working in melbourne (which i didnt enjoy at all, might as well have been in dublin with all the irish and bad weather; twas winter there) but i absolutely loved travelling around, it's really fantastic country for backpacking, so much to see and do.
but if you're interested in other countries and cultures see more of asia, thailand isnt really a good indication of south east asia, go see vietmam, laos, cambodia if you can.
also if u can afford it and have an interest in it try and get to south america, i did 3 months there on the way home and it was without doubt the past 3 moths of my year away and it's a good time to see it, it's not as touristy as south east asia yet and it's still pretty cheap to get around.
im home a about 2 yrs and have the mortgage etc now and im a good bit older than you, all that stuff will come in time, you're in no rush!

CamillaRhodes

evry1sm8 wrote: »

i was with a guy for most part of 7 years and that kinda kept us both around.

Irishcrx, I think you've defo got enough advice here to convince you to go

evry1sm8, I was in the EXACT same situation a few years ago, came out of an almost-seven year relationship (gutted, but realising it was time to move on), went traveling on my own (cos my ex had never wanted to and NONE of my mates seemed able to do it at the exact time I needed to), and had the most amazingly wonderful time which really shook up my life, my priorities, helped me get over my ex, discover new goals in life... really, it was the best thing I could possibly have done. Tough sometimes (the lonely dark nights, when you really wish you had your best mate / mum by you for a chat) but your friends and family are only a phone call away, and the highs you get from this sort of adventure definitely out weigh the lows. Build yourself up, pick a dream destination and go for it. You'll be so damn proud of yourself, and if you manage to stick through the inevitable occasional lows, I promise you'll have an amazing, life-affirming experience!

Dave!

Elessar wrote: »

I'm 22 and don't understand the travelling thing. It is because it's some kind of fashion? I prefer the security of home.

What's to get? You never go on holidays?

meglome

Personally I'm not crazy about travelling for very long periods of time. But I do like to go off for a few holidays each year with a good long holiday every two years or so. I'm heading off to Thailand, Cambodia, Australia and Japan for five weeks in two months. Last year it was Turkey and India for six weeks. In 2003 I was in Nepal for a month. I love it, as long as I can come home within two months. I'm 38 now so you don't need to be 20 to do it. House prises are falling, you'll have saved the money you spent on the price falls while you're gone.

BeachGirl2008

I agree. You should definitely travel, at least to get away from it. I went to italy last year to get away and have fun, and I used EF College Break. It was an 18-26 thing. It was amazing, and I came back, and I found myself to have a new perspective of the situation. If you do want to use them, I have a promo code for them, its hesseln1188, and it saves you $50. What ever you chose, I hope you do get to travel at lest sometime in your life, since it really is an eye opening experience.

-BeachGirl

spinandscribble

oh op you're such a lucky duck! you're only 21 and you've a stack of your own money to do exactly what you want. travel, see the world, take further time out from work maybe do a course that'll help you in the long run when you get back.

Barlow07

Irishcrx wrote: »

I'm only 21 and the stress is making me go crazy as I feel about 30 and that life is just flying by me. My mate is leaving for aus this year and reckons I should go with him and re-establish myself.
Advice guy's?

IF i was you i would, a lot people dont travel cause there friends wont travel due to work etc. Your only 21 and you are getting stressed out, you should go even if you decided to come back early at least you tried and also it will give you some space for you try and decide what you want. All these people telling what to do and how to live your life are really telling you what they would and how they would live there life.

Dont let this opportunity pass, go and book your tickets and then you can tell everyone your going after.

Hoochiemama

Travel!!! The freedom of it is nearly breathtaking.... The best thing you can do is travel, helps you discover more about yourself and a whole year without the stress of homelife!!

floating

omigod - go just go - your way to young to be thinking about buying a house because when you do, traveling isn't a option for at least 4-5 years and paying a mortgage (I has guessed from your post that the money you came into was enough for deposit only). I'm at the other end of my 20's and I spent a few years traveling - did a year in OZ and when back stopping in most countries on the way and spent another year in Oz and it was the best think I even did. My parents are not happy about me going. I guess they were worried that I would never settle down and get a good job! When I stop traveling and started working the process into a really good job was easy because one think I learnt traveling was to talk to anyone and I lost all my shyness. So I have done really well - because I’m well able to talk to the managers in my job and have promoted twice without having the product knowledge that I should.

so I’m just saying go, go into trail finders today and book your ticket for 4 months time and then tell your gf that she can come or stay give her the choice but that give her the choice to change your mind because the relationship will start falling apart from then was you will always regret it. (If it your destiny it will work out – regardless)
Many people say your 20's define you, if you buy a house now you'll spend the next 20 years slaving away at home to pay a mortgage - go and live a little.

I'm sure you could with careful spending keep some money aside for you return.

Just Go! life is to short