Get guys to like me!

LegacyUser

Hey. 17 y.o girl, still in highschool here and looking for guys advice here. I've never met (as in kissed) a guy before..not cos I'm waiting for the right guy. The chance just hasn't come up. I'm not asking for a long-term boyfriend here (although that would be nice) but even just a guy showing he was interested in me would be nice. I've read threads like this before and people are going to say that 17 isn't old for never having met a guy but I mean...be honest. It is! Girls are having sex at this age and I've never even had a fella. Most of my friends have boyfriends - one couple has been going out for over 2 years.

How do you get guys to like you? Is it all the looks? Is it tits? Cos I have really small boobs and I'm not that good-looking. I don't like the orange-face, abercrombie+fitch, ugg look as in most girls in my school. But I do wear makeup on the weekends and dress nice. I've been told I have a good personality. The first thing my friends say is that I'm funny. I'm really easy-going, always up for a laugh, never take life too seriously..I'm smart but I'm not a nerd - I always slag my friends that they're nerds cos they study but that's just me. I make jokes about people and they slag me back, - i get on great with all the girls in my year. In my group of 6 or 7 girls, apparently I'm the life of the party (not my words - my friends, when I couldn't make it to my other friends gaf party - she said it was boring without me).

So what the hell is wrong with me? I have low self-esteem but I try to subtly flirt with guys...and they're nice back to me. Just not interested. Any sure-fire ways to get guys to like me? I'm gonna have to be a slut amn't I?! And the thing is...I'm this desperate at this stage, that I would do..stuff..on a first date if it made him like me.



Thanks for reading this crap!

LegacyUser

Met lots of people who have never been near a kiss much older than you. Please remember that lots of your friends may be lying about their experience. Firsts are future precious memories so make sure that you like the guy, or at least fancy him, and don't snog the first guy who wants to snog you.

Overheal

Jane your problem is the low self esteem. You need to sort that out before guys will start taking a liking to you for real.

As for the desparation: dont even think about it. That will only attract the wrong kind of people and the wrong kind of problems, and do nothing but bury any self esteem you have left.

What is it about yourself you don't like?

Doctor DooM

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

I don't like the orange-face, abercrombie+fitch, ugg look as in most girls in my school.

There ar eplenty of men out there who believe it or not are looking for this in a girl... Don't get too disheartened.

estar

And the thing is...I'm this desperate at this stage, that I would do..stuff..on a first date if it made him like me.

if you do the above its a sure fire way to lower your self esteem even further.
this isnt a race. you sound like you are having a perfectly normal
adolesence, making friends, having fun, maturing at your own pace.

wheres the big rush? do you want to have sex on a first date and risk
the guy never talking to you again as you just dont know him well
enough to gauge what his reaction would be? why not wait for the
right guy so there is less chance of it being something you regret.

lots of my friends slept with guys for the first time when they
were drunk, on one night stands, as they just wanted to lose it.

i dont think any of them treasure this memory. when you are older
and more mature it is an informed decision to just sleep around.
you are ready for the emotional fall out. you are experienced
and stable in who you are. you have the knowledge to know
if it is a right choice for you. and in and of itself there is nothing
wrong with that choice.

but when you are younger, you might not be ready for the
emotions surrounding sleeping with someone esp just casually.
i would worry that it could just damage your self esteem further
if you slept with someone and then were rejected.

you have far less chance of that if you know someone better.

although you are impatient, keep being happy, friendly, bubbly
and wait for the right person that you can develop a relationship
with.

MCMLXXXIII

It's your attitude.

No guy wants to answer the question "What's wrong with me?" because no matter what he is put into a bad position.

You also need to decide what you want. Do you want to be an A&F girl that people artificially like, or do you want to be yourself and have a guy actually like you for who you are?

Stop it, who cares, don't worry.

PS. Wearing make-up during the week can't hurt.
PPS. In all seriousness, try pleasuring yourself before you pleasure others...if you know what I mean.

estar

I don't like the orange-face, abercrombie+fitch, ugg look as in most girls in my school.

and the above look is NAUSEATING

thank god there is a sign of it being less popular than it used

seahorse

callmejanedunoy; you will NOT have to behave like a "slut" in order to have boys like you. In fact, it may surprise to you know, if you behave like that the polar opposite will happen - they will not like you at all!! They will use you (at least some of the less scrupulous ones will) and then they'll move on and you'll be left feeling a whole lot worse about yourself.

I know it's hard, but for the time-being please just strive to continue to be the lively funny happy young women you obviously are, and then when someone comes along and falls for you, you wont have to feel bad about the places you've been and the things you've done when you were not feeling good about yourself.

Best of luck to you and if you ever feel really low about these things you can always drop me a pm.

Seahorse

Pascal14

Less of the Dr Phil stuff. You are only young, give yourself time. Not everyone has to dance to the same beat.

Overheal

Wachootalkinbout, Pascal?

well the world dont move, to the beat of just one drum...

OP I had the exact same issues growing up and not very long ago I realised thats what was stopping me. Almost as soon as I had more confidence in myself and was comfortable in my own skin (as flawed as it may be) the girls just fell into place. Its like realising you've been trying to turn on the cooker for years, until you realise you left it unplugged.

Toots

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

I'm gonna have to be a slut amn't I?

NO!!! you do not have to be a slut! Look, I know you said not to say this, but 17 years old is not too old not to have kissed anyone! I was in the same boat as you when I was your age. I'd kissed one or two guys, but nothing to write home about. I'd never had a boyfriend, and I went through this phase where I would have done anything to have one. I was really popular with the lads, had loads of male friends, but that's all they ever saw me as, a good friend. Then one day I just thought, why am I wasting my time and energy on this, it'll happen when it happens. And it did. I don't mean to sound cheesy or whatever here, but I think when you stop looking so obsessively, you'll meet someone. That's what happened to me. I'm not saying it's fate or anything like that, but I think because I wasn't trying so hard with the guy, he saw my real personality and that was who he liked.

Just be yourself with guys, OP. Let them see the real you and you'll be surprised at the results. And to answer your question, it's not about tits, or whether you're an oompa loompa abercrombie and ugg wearing clone. As they say different strokes for different folks. Some guys like the carrot tan and jordan-esque chest, others don't. Much the same way as you may think one guy is hot and another is a total swamp donkey. Lastly, don't do things on the first date that you'll only regret. Take your time, if the only thing a guy likes about you is that you put out, then he's not much of a guy. If you rush into things now with someone you only have lukewarm feelings for, you'll regret it for a long long time. As with a lot of teenage guys, a lot of teenage girls lie about having sex, so I wouldn't put too much stock in what your friends and classmates are saying.

Susannahmia

Meh I ever kissed hardly anyone and never had a boyfriend or had boys show much interest in me. When I went to college things changed though and I was going out with a guy within a week. Three years on and I'm still with the same guy. If you act like a slut you will attract w***ers and scare the nice guys off. Just wait untill you find the right person and click. There is no rush at all and you will be much happier in the long run.

DONT BE A SLUT!!!!:) It's all about personality and phermones rather than looks. You will meet the right guy when you least expect it.;)

hullaballoo

I'm a guy btw. Believe it or not, this sort of thing comes down to your own attitude to yourself. I've the same problem when it comes to girls. It's a vicious circle and I know how you feel. The longer it goes on, the more self-esteem you lose, and the less chance you have. However, you are the only person who can change your opinion of yourself.

It's the only sure-fire way to get guys to like you. Becoming some sort of easy target for guys who have their own self-esteem issues (who are the ones you attract by doing "stuff" on the first time) is never going to do anything for you. Guys (like girls) like a challenge. Most of the fun is the chase. That being so, if you make yourself out to be a challenge/hard to get, guys will be more interested from the outset.

Looks are completely subjective as well, so you can't say you're not good-looking. I know plenty of conventionally good-looking women who I wouldn't be interested in because they're assholes. I also know plenty of women who are plain enough but whose comportment makes them super-hot.

Also consider that many men are put off by girls who are funnier/louder than they are. It's just a weird thing we have. I can't explain it beyond that.

Overheal

hullaballú wrote: »

Also consider that many men are put off by girls who are funnier/louder than they are. It's just a weird thing we have. I can't explain it beyond that.

Its worked for Sharon Osborne so far.

LegacyUser

Overheal wrote: »

Its worked for Sharon Osborne so far.

uh.. when sharon and ozzy got together first he was crazy on coke all the time, screaming and killing animals on stage. doubt sharon was louder or funnier than him then.

to the op.. i had a friend in school who was a bit like you. she was cute and funny and out going but for some reason guys weren't very interested. she went to college and things weren't much better, then met a guy when she was in third year and they're still together now, 4 years on. i never really figured it out, why she wasn't popular with boys, i knew why i wasn't, cuz i was too shy, and once i figured out how to flirt it was fine. but she didn't make sense. the only thing i can think of was that she intimidated guys, and i guess guys around your age especially are a bit low on self esteem too, and they might be afraid to try anything with you because your wit and out goinging-ness makes them afraid they mightn't be funny enough for you or something.
or else you're not making yourself seem available, they might look at you and think "that girl is more interested in having a laugh with the girls than getting up to anything with guys" you know? i know what its like, wanting to get kissed by someone, and not understanding why it won't happen for you, and it puts you in a spiral of self doubt. so, when you're young, the number one best way to get something happening with a guy you like, which i figured out after a long time trying, is to get them alone. preferably at a party or something, the guy you like is around, make sure you give him loads of attention through the night, laugh at his jokes and stuff, a bit of play fighting never hurts. you'll figure out if he likes you when things happen like, you leave the room to go to the toilet or something, come back and sit or stand somewhere else and he eventually gravitates back to you (this works vice versa to let him know u like him). then eventually you'll end up gravitating towards each other somewhere more private (like you go to the kitchen to get a drink of water, take a bit of time though, and he comes out too).. and so on.. once you're somewhere private it should happen easy enough, as long as you stay aware of it, like don't talk too much, leave a couple of silences but look at him and smile and look away and stuff.

anyway, its hard to know what the story is. all i know is thats what worked for me. and i ended up getting on better with guys than my friend who was always so sure she was making it really obvious she liked a guy, but i don't think she managed it. you can be loud and funny and its great, loads of guys are attracted to it, but when it comes to getting intimate you need to relax and be a be comfortable with little silences and communicating with eye contact and body language. thats all i can think of, hope it helps

Rattlehead_ie

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

I've read threads like this before and people are going to say that 17 isn't old for never having met a guy but I mean...be honest. It is!

Honestly, yes there are couples out there and people your age having sex, but there are also people out there that haven't either. So there are just as many out there that don't have or have had a O/H, you just don't hear people talk about the guy / girl they didn't "score" last night

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

How do you get guys to like you? Is it all the looks? Is it tits? Cos I have really small boobs and I'm not that good-looking.

There is no magic formula that makes a member of the opposite sex like you, although I will get to this a little later on.

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

I don't like the orange-face, abercrombie+fitch, ugg look as in most girls in my school.

Trust me thats a good thing and this is where you should start, outa interest are your group of 6 or 7 friends like this? Your an individual and from how your friends see you and what you have told us they said about you "life of the party"

The other posters are right it would seem like you have self esteem issues and,although this may not help everybody has gone through this at some stage in their teenage years.

You don't mention if you clam up of anything when your around guys, I remember when I was younger I would be all relaxed and have fun till the girls arrived and then I was as quiet as a mouse. Be yourself around guys and thats where you will get attention, as you said your friends think your funny / smart / life of the party, it will happen in time

As for the slut / do something on your 1st date. I don't mean to be harsh but realistically guys at that age don't have to like you to do stuff with you, so not only will you be gratifying them you should all so know that whatever happens it may not be because they like you.

You seem like a really cool person, fun / happy out going. As I said be yourself and it will happen in due time, don't rush yourself

4Xcut

callmejanedunoy wrote: »

I try to subtly flirt with guys

that's your problem right there. we don't get sublty

kev_s88

there is no sure fire way of making guys like you.

im a 19 y/o guy and with me, i always get attracted straight to the really beautiful girls.if i dont get to know girls first, then i never see past the outside. i dont know if thats the same with all guys (dont think it is) but it is for some.

so maybe you just need to get some close guy friends.hanging with them will give you confidence to be around other guys and maybe something will happen.

you will find someone eventually.i dont have too much experience in all that stuff.ive never had a proper g'friend but i have a mixed group of friends and because of that im more confident in myself and find it easier to talk to girls.and one day all my talking will pay off

hope that helped

MattKid

4Xcut wrote: »

that's your problem right there. we don't get sublty

Agreed

YOu've got to realise that all of the things that worry you every other girl and guy are worried about, even those who you think have got everything sussed, they're just better at hiding it!

All blokes are caught up in their own little worlds and will either miss your subtle flirting or tell themselves that it wasn't flirting and they've misread the signs. And blokes don't get any better at it as they get older either!

Accentuate you good points and forget about the things you don't like that you can't change and improve on the rest. Above all just have fun and don't take things too seriously.

There are plenty of guys who don't go for the tango'd girls who all look the same and plenty of guys who prefer small boobs on a girl too

Mighty_Mouse

Girls v boys, boys v girls....................the secret ingredient to attraction is Confidence IMO.

Confidence = being 100% comfortable with who you are. (flaws and all)

Over the next 2 years your life will change unrecognisably.
All yer mates will scatter to the 4 corners of the world.
All the boys who are hot, girls who are cool, people who are popular ............................it all means zero once the school finishes.


Then the real world begins and you get to be whoever you want to be in this life.

At 17, it really is as simple as that.
Be anybody or anything you like. Just pick something cool, work yer ass off for a year, get the points and the rest of yer life is sorted.

Once your life is going in your chosen direction, your confidence will come and everything else will fall into place.

jdivision

Drop the subtle flirting. No need to act like a slut but be a bit more obvious that you like somebody. guys don't get subtle flirting (that's from a guy btw)

kieranmcg1

If there is someone who u think u kinda like u should just kinda mention it to one of ur friends and see what happens if a guy finds out u like him if u get what i mean . and dont worry there are loads of ppl who have gone this long without kissing someone itl all change.

Lockstep

As for small boobs: don;t worry about it.

Personally I prefer em small, they look a lot neater.

I know it often seems like guys are only interested in there but we're really not that shallow.

Doodee

*SNIP* Do that again and you take a break. Only warning. Wibbs

Wibbs

kickoutthejams wrote: »

As for small boobs: don;t worry about it.

Personally I prefer em small, they look a lot neater.

I know it often seems like guys are only interested in there but we're really not that shallow.

Agreed. I would be much more a leg man as an example.

Men have quite a wide range of what they find attractive.

Heckler

To the OP.

Just be yourself. You have youth on your side. One thing I would caution against, and this is tough, don't fall too hard for the first guy that you kiss/have sex with. Most people, nothwithstanding some exceptions, will have multiple boyfriends/lovers before they get serious with someone.

Don't turn into one of these ugg-wearing, messy haired D4 ambercrombie and fitch gals just cos its the norm. They are like sheep. And don't ever do anything you don't feel ready for or comfortable with just to keep some randy 18yr old happy.

Best of luck. You seem like a lovely, sound girl. It'll happen for you just give it time.

Heckler.

AARRRGH

Overheal wrote: »

Jane your problem is the low self esteem. You need to sort that out before guys will start taking a liking to you for real.

Spot on. I'd be a fairly normal looking guy, but I'm very confident and I like me. As a result, I find it fairly easy to meet women.

It makes it so much easier to get what you want and live the way you want if you believe in yourself.

How do you learn to like yourself and believe in yourself?

1. Sounds cheesy, but don't "follow the crowd". Just live your life the way you want to, and do the things you want to. This is a lot more than "just be yourself". I mean go the extra mile and realise you only have one life so make the most out of it. Don't be like most people and go through life following someone elses plan.
2. Take some risks. Have you always wanted to run a business? Have you always wanted to be an artist? Then do it. I run a part-time business, take legal action against organisations I believe are wrong, I'm writing a technical book and I'm currently developing a graphic novel. How much does this cost? A few thousand. How much time does it take? I manage. Does this make me feel good about me? Absolutely.
3. Take care of your appearance. This is an awfully shallow world. There are class systems everywhere, and status is important. So dress nice and look nice. This doesn't mean having massive tits or whatever it is you think is important. It means having your own personal style and personality. I wish the world wasn't like this but it is.
4. Realise most people don't have a ****ing clue (me included, no doubt!) Yet these clueless ****ers have a tendency to be confident and the dominant ones in society. It doesn't make sense. Realise life is a bit of a mystery and a game, so don't take it too seriously. No one really knows what the **** we should be doing, so just do what you think is right. Don't let the confident dominant ones overwhelm you. Deep down they're just as afraid as you.
5. If you're still having trouble, find yourself a role model. It can be a character in a movie or a book, or it can be someone you know. You're only 17. You still have many years left to discover yourself, so don't be afraid to experiment to find out what kind of person you are and what you're capable of.

...

I'm a bit drunk. Apologies if this was a gay post.

The_Conductor

OP- first of all, you are young yet- I wouldn't be in any hurry if I were you to try to find a guy. When you least expect it, someone will come along for you. The fact that your friends are dating guys or having sex- shouldn't enter the equation.

It seriously sounds as though you feel that you should have a guy simply because all your friends have one- guys aren't fashion accessories though, and as you have observed yourself with your friends- they only get out of their relationships what they put in.......

There is no magic formula to getting people to like you- you are far better off simply being yourself, and eventually finding someone who likes you, as you, and not some impossible ideal that no-one can ever be.

Guys can be everybit as shallow as some girls are- and fixated with looks, boobs, clothes, jewelery, obvious displays of wealth- and not the person under the trappings. Dressing nice, having a good personality, being a true person- both to yourself and to others, you will learn are attributes that are priceless. You sound like a reasonable, intelligent sort of person- do not sell yourself short.

You shouldn't even consider doing the slutty things that other girls in your year do- being with a guy (or indeed a girl, if you're a guy) can be worth so much more than the passing thrill of making out.

There is nothing whatsoever wrong with you, the world would be a far better place if there were more people like you in it. There is no such thing as a way of getting people to like you- what I would suggest you do though, is stop trying so hard. I would also banish the thought of even suggesting to yourself that you might do things on a first date to "make someone like you".

Just as an exercise- I would suggest looking around in highschool- do you have societies or clubs that you can join? Join something that you are genuinely interested in- you'll meet guys there with whom you share an interest- which is a good start. Build on it from there- ask someone out for coffee (perhaps I'm out of touch here?) and try to get to know the guy as a person.

You shouldn't feel depressed- or have low self-esteem- you will meet nice guys, give it a chance- and don't sell yourself short!

LegacyUser

Hey thanks everyone for the replies. See I know that confidence is important. The OP I made - I don't act like that or say that to anyone in real life. I don't go around school asking my friends Why don't guys like me? Of course not. I try to act confident even if I'm not..and surely if guys can't notice subtle flirting, they won't notice that I'm faking confidence either?!

To answer a previous question. Yeah, the group of 6 or 7 friends...they're not major D4s like other 'popular' girls in my year but some of them would wear abercrombie+fitch and uggs and sometimes have orange faces. It's kinda hard not being a D4 cos I go to such a posh school...but it's a mix of people and I like the fact that I'm not a D4 even if people think I'm a knacker (which I'm not).

Maybe it's the fact that I am outgoing and a bit loud and I love laughter/jokes. I try to be feminine and I like being feminine but I would be the 'mannliest' of the group. That's not to say I'm a beast. I am quite tall though which I hate and I don't have as high a voice as other girls (terrible singer also cos of my man voice..hehe!). So perhaps guys are intimidated by me..

fuzzywiggle

You're only 17, don't worry. Once you hit 18 and start goin out to clubs and pubs men will be falling over you. Some so drunk they'll see three of you and some will just be nice decent fellas! Relax..it will happen some day, what's your hurry. I'd wear make-up a little more if i were you though..just to enhance your natural beauty

minidazzler

ALL QUESTIONS ASKED ARE RHETORICAL UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED



OK from what i have read alot of the Responses you have gotten are from the slightly
Older generation.

I am 18 and a dude so I will try to give my opinion.

Well now, Dudes at the ages between 13 and 18ish are idiots. We are I admit it.

Complete bollixes the lot of us. Personally I have never gone for a "conventionally goodlooking" girl. I always go for the obscure, strange, funny and screwed up kinda girl. THe one most lads dont look at.

Most lads go for that Ugg boot wearing oompa Loompa who gets wasted and shags random guys. (Do you want to be her?)

Most of us lads are twits until we realise that easy girls are boring. (most never do though)

If you are known to bitch and moan, guys wont look at you.
If you are mocked by your "friends" behind your back (which among girls is not uncommon) some lads wont go near you becausse they are little hornbags who want the easy "slvt" who is mocking you.

There are no real factors that influence a 17 year olds attraction to girls other than what friends will think. Honest to god if you are the nicest person in the world these lads couldnt give a ****e.

The only real advice I can give you is keep trying and dont score with some ransom arsehole for the sake of it.

and Definately dont do "other stuff" on a first date just to get a lad to like you because then all that will happen is he will brag to his friends and they will tell people.

At your age you dont want that it can cause you to become clinically depressed. And frankly I know someone who killed themselves because of a similar situation.

Regards,

Wibbs

Pretty good advice from minidazzler there and although on the surface may be offputting, the fact that minidazzler posted it and he is of the age and is not one of the crowd, should show the OP that she shouldn't lower her standards for some random hookup.

Bob the Builder

4Xcut wrote: »

that's your problem right there. we don't get sublty

Research shows that males are 45-50% less able to get subtle actions from the opposite sex, so don't bother with your subtle flirting, it will lose more interest than gain in because you'll be wasting your effort on something useless whereas, you might as well just talk to the guy as normal and not be worrying about all this subtle nonsense. However, guys do notice when you pick your nose, scratch your arse, or likewise, so just be aware... And, we are 100% turned off by whores, unless of course they we just want the ride.

I Read the quote before: Bitches like me will live like queens, whereas sluts like you will live on your knees.

If you find that your get nerous around boys in groups, ignore their presence. Behave as if they're not there. Talk to your female friend, and talk about whatever the hell you want, maybe something which relates what the boys are interested in. You'll find that soon enough, that the boy will join in the conversation, or you will grab your female friend's attention, and from that, the boy is more likely to latch onto "Look, there's people listening to her, she looks sound... why dont we join in the conversation". Don't bother flirting. Make friends with the lad(s), and from there you will prosper.

You also have yourself talked into the culture, that I'm ugly, useless, good for nothing, fat.... boys hate me... etc...
I don't give two hoots about a girls appearence, but I would like her to be happy with her appearance, to have a personality which isn't excessive and annoying, but light-hearted and humored.

Also, contrary to what others are saying, i believe you should kiss the first guy who shows interest in you, or at least ask them. The most you will ever get is rejection, which is the one thing everyone fears. Not only that, but it is good practise, and even from that 3/4minute's, you will learn so much and gain so much confidence. After that, don't go around kissing everyone you see, but do learn how to approach men.

I wish you all the best OP,
NevF

Lockstep

Minidazzler says it pretty well but I'll just add to it.

I'm an 18 year old male as well and I've never had sex.
I honestly don't see it as a problem or a handicap, neither do I consider myself like Monica in that Friends episode "The One that Could Have Been" ('It's not like I never had the oppurtunity:(')

Sex is a far less important thing than it can seem at the time. I've had girlfriends and all but I honestly didn't feel the urge to have sex, I just felt like a lot of people treated it like a race, there was a rumour that me and my girlfriend had had sex and a friend of mine got worried about still being a virgin, and screwed the first girl he could (a 15 year old).

I am definetely not attractive in a conventional sense but there has been enough girls who liked me and likewise, I have gone out with girls both conventioanlly attractive, unconventionally or else just due to personality.

Horses for courses. You will have guys who will find you attractive as we all have our own personal tastes.

blue_man83

In my short experience, i think i recognise the girl you are self-describing. Your actually too mature for your age. You say your the "life of the party", people like you for your humour. You come accross as a strong independant woman and guys your age are intimidated by that. They would feel they would not be "the man" of the relationship. But trust me, in years to come - college years and further on - these traits will pay dividend, becasue as already pointed out in a previous post, guys older that that would fall over themselves to get a woman like you. Im sure this is of no help becasue it won't get you to where you want, but all i can say that the future is bright for you.

minidazzler

Just wanted to add a little more.

Jane. If you are how you describe yourself then study up. You have to go to college. You wil have the time of your life. It gets better. It really does.

Jesus when you go to college I can almost guarantee that guys wil be all over you.

You say posh school not posh girl. That's actually better. Most people I have met in Uni seem to have a superior attitude and you seem like you will be the person happy in themselves and not get too snoby. Trust me that will go over well with the lads in college.

there is a very strange and sudden change in the males in College and the Males in Secondary school. Not that we mature really its we evolve our tastes in women is what I think it is.

Also, Dudes are eejits. we cannot spot subtle flirting directed towards us. Only towards our friends.

Here is a very true story that took place over the last three weeks.
A buddy of mine (very good-looking fella) was constantly chatting up a girl (making it obvious while we were all around). He would then say after that he is not sure she liked him. I didnt want to stick my nose in so I let it be saying she was hot a fvck (she is).
She was flirting back like mad. I mean she was making it more obvious by the day.
In the end, I had to literally shout in his face. "SHE LIKES YOU!!!!!!!" He would not believe me. He could not pick up on the most obvious flirting I have ever seen.

MORAL: Guys cant pick up on subtle hints, Be obvious. If you have to get a mutual friend to set you up with a guy you fancy.

Anyways, Best of luck. You will find a dude when you actually really want to.