First date flowers

gbh

Well I am going on a first date next week (no, not my first ever date!).

But to be honest I have never really gave flowers as a gift on a first date before, it actually never crossed my mind.

Anyways that aside, wondering what the opinion is on first date flowers, would roses be over the top and would yee be mortified if a guy showed up with roses, or should I go for less over stated flowers?

I'm fairly certain I will bring flowers, but what type I'm not sure.

MayMay

Personally I'd find that VERY odd for a first date. No matter how nice you were I'd think that was way too far, just being honest sorry. I know you mean well.

Lil' Smiler

yeah i don't think i'd like that on a first date

also... starting off that nice means you'll be expected to stay that nice hehe!! :P

charba

I've never been given flowers on a first date as far as I can remember. I think its a lovely idea. I'm not so sre about roses though.
Perhaps you could pick up two or three different colours of carnations from the flower stalls along Henry or Grafton Street and mix them and put them all back together again?

Lil' Smiler

Oh I never picked up on the roses bit. yeah roses might be a bit too much on a first date.


I second Charba's suggestion if you are going to get flowers, it is a lovely idea. Apologies, it just reminds me of my ex who used to give me the pretty much dead flowers from the end of the day in work when i was 17..eurgh!!

RAFC

Ah folks, a bit of romance please . Maybe not a bunch of flowers, but how about 1 single rose

pelvic

Eeeugh, no flowers purlease

Barlow07

MayMay wrote: »

Personally I'd find that VERY odd for a first date. No matter how nice you were I'd think that was way too far, just being honest sorry. I know you mean well.

I agree with MayMay, i would never do anything like that, it may give off the wrong impression.

Treora

Yep, maybe at the fourth date and then delivery only. First date is about relaxed eye contact, being comfortable in your own skin around her and conversation flow. Keep your money for the date. Since you are paying you get to choose the wine and order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering). Strong yet affable eye contact, voice and presence towards waiter shows your date how you deal with people when she is with you. And waiters take this as their job - this is why they get tipped. Of course overplaying it makes one look a d'''head.

pelvic

It screams
'I am desperate', are you ????

Crumble Froo

i duno, i think it'd be nice,but NOT roses.

roses are for seriousness and love. first dates are fun and getting to know each other.

pelvic

Why the hell do people start threads and then hide????

Susannahmia

Hmm I would find that a bit weird on the first date.

tallaght01

Dude, don't do it. Not on a first date. Just don't. For the sake of this fledgling relationship, I implore u...don't give her flowers.

monkeyfudge

Yep... it would be a bit odd... I'd never do that on a first date.

Actually the only time I've ever buy flowers when going on a date is when I've run late and need to apolagise. Of course the act of stopping off to buy flowers makes me even later.. but there you go.

jellie

its a bit weird to be honest. the only time i can see it being sweet/romantic & not "LOVE ME! PLEASE LOVE ME!" is if youve been friends with the girl for awhile & had kinda built up to the date. even then i wouldnt be too sure..

its not expected so id play it safe & dont do it.

Rattlehead_ie

Odd + 1 vote here for a 1st date.

gbh

pelvic wrote: »

Why the hell do people start threads and then hide????

Relax...I'm busy with stuff...and am only online an odd time...

I've also read your other posts pelvic, and to be honest i'm not impressed with what you have said, especially the i'm desperate bit...think you need to mature a little and stay out of this thread if thats the way you are gonna talk cause if you talk like that then yes, i will stay away from this thread...but i accept your apology in advance

As for the other cynics, I didn't ask should i give flowers, so please don't waste ur time telling me not to bring them..again people who advise against dont know what they are talking about...it is courtesy to bring a gift, whether its flowers, chocolates anything....and it also is a way of putting your date and you at ease...something interesting to talk about...price is not an issue for me, i can afford these things, i'm not on a minimum wage, i dont smoke and don't suffer the so romantic affliction of being a heavy drinker ...if everything works out she will remember the first date and she will tell her friends he brought me flowers and they will agree im an ok guy and i will have made a good impression...so yes flowers are always a good idea on the first date...others mightnt think so, thats their opinion but im not asking them if they think i shud or shudnt...

Thanks Charba and others for the good advice...it is always nice to get a woman's view on these things..i think a mixture is a good idea...i will look into that...

gbh

Well I'll tell yee what...I will let yee know how I get on...like i say i'm pretty sure i'll get the flowers so i'll tell yee her reaction, if she is shocked, surprised, mortified, throws them in the gutter, etc, etc.

Although it mightn't be for another week yet, and a week is a long time for a woman to think about these things so she might have gone off me by then and there might be no date at all...

But please dont let this be the last word on it, keep talking about it on here, all opinions valued...except the ones who try to make out im weird, cause trust me i aint weird...least i dont think i am

monkeyfudge

So you only want to hear opinions that you agree with then?

Fair enough, you clearly have your mind made up.... But I really don't think people were calling you weird, they just considered the act of giving flowers on a first date to be a bit odd. It just looks seems like you're coming on too strong with something like that... But best of luck with it anyway.

Jules

Go ahead and get flowers but nothing expensive and NOT ROSES... just a little bunch and don't make a big deal out of them

spurious

Flowers are always a nice thing to get, apart from roses, which scream lack of imagination I think, but think of the practicalities...where do you intend going on the date? Who gets to drag the flowers around with them?

Wreck

Treora wrote: »

Since you are paying you get to ... order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering).

Eh what? I can honestly say I've never even heard of anyone doing this, and would never dream of doing it myself.

monkeyfudge

Wreck wrote: »

Treora wrote: »

Since you are paying you get to ... order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering).

Eh what? I can honestly say I've never even heard of anyone doing this, and would never dream of doing it myself.

Wow.. I hadn't spotted that. I generally thought it was considered good courtesy to allow the lady order first... and any good waiter will ask what her first too anyway... they'll generally go to the male for wine though...

tallaght01

Treora wrote: »

. Since you are paying you get to choose the wine and order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering). .

I just order for her without asking what she wants.

I call it "The lucky dip"

monkeyfudge

tallaght01 wrote: »

I just order for her without asking what she wants.

I call it "The lucky dip"

She'll have the breadsticks and a glass of tap water and I'll have the lobster and a bucket of champagne.

Ginny

I got flowers on the 2nd date, wasn't strange at all, we got together near Valentines day so they were sorta for both.

watna

Before we started going out my bf called in to work to see me one day and brougt me a big sunflower. I was so embarassed at the time because we had an auditor in who was chuckling away (I know, an auditor with a sense of humour?!). looking back I find it so touching and it was a very good sign for what was to come.Only someone that was really in to you but do something so sweet. No bunch of flowers but one flower ithink would be quite romantic!

tallaght01

I still think he's gonna crash and burn with it

We all know ladies prefer a bloke who doesn't show that he's super keen initally, and vice versa.

It'll only end in tears

Rob_l

tallaght01 wrote: »

I still think he's gonna crash and burn with it

We all know ladies prefer a bloke who doesn't show that he's super keen initally, and vice versa.

It'll only end in tears

He wont come back if it ends in tears
just like he only wanted our opinions if they agreed with his, when its a failure he wont come back for the I told you so posts

monkeyfudge

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Wreck wrote: »

Treora wrote: »

Since you are paying you get to ... order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering).

Wow.. I hadn't spotted that. I generally thought it was considered good courtesy to allow the lady order first... and any good waiter will ask what her first too anyway... they'll generally go to the male for wine though...

One of my ex's was too shy and uncouth to order.
I used to get such filthy looks from wait staff, who thought I was domineering the poor pet.

I definitely think one flower, that is different from the usual rosematic stanards is the way to go.

bluedolphin

I'm not sure... Flowers on a first date... Where's she gonna put them?! They'll be wilted by the end of the night!

Maybe buy her one from one of those street-sellers if all's going well (that'd be an ok gesture in my books) but turning up with them might seem quite eager!

Lil' Smiler

I have to agree with everyoe who said that she'd have to carry them around, that can be quite awkward


however if you were meeting her at her house or something to pick her up it might be a nice idea!!

pelvic

pelvic wrote: »

Eeeugh, no flowers purlease

+1

especially not on first date

jellie

Treora wrote: »

Since you are paying you get to choose the wine and order for the lady (once you have asked her what she is ordering). Strong yet affable eye contact, voice and presence towards waiter shows your date how you deal with people when she is with you. And waiters take this as their job - this is why they get tipped. Of course overplaying it makes one look a d'''head.

Um.. doing this would make ONE look a d*ckhead? im well able to speak for myself, if a man did this on the 1st date id think "arrogant a**hole"

gbh wrote:

again people who advise against dont know what they are talking about...it is courtesy to bring a gift, whether its flowers, chocolates anything....and it also is a way of putting your date and you at ease...something interesting to talk about...price is not an issue for me, i can afford these things, i'm not on a minimum wage, i dont smoke and don't suffer the so romantic affliction of being a heavy drinker

why dont they know what theyre talking about? majority are female & so know what females like.
& the rest of that makes you sound like extremely arrogant, if thats the way you talk on your date giving the flowers might be the highlight of the evening

pow wow

If you know the person I don't think it's odd to bring flowers, maybe it's one of those friendships on the brink of being a fantastic love affair! If it was just some bloke I'd met last week who asked me out, I'd feel uncomfortable with it I have to say. There is nothing discourteous about not bringing a gift, why should you? You are spending time together, it's an equal balance.

And yes, I know you've made up your mind and don't care what anyone says.

gbh

monkeyfudge wrote: »

So you only want to hear opinions that you agree with then?

Fair enough, you clearly have your mind made up.... But I really don't think people were calling you weird, they just considered the act of giving flowers on a first date to be a bit odd. It just looks seems like you're coming on too strong with something like that... But best of luck with it anyway.

I think there is a fifty-fifty split on whether it's nice or odd which is fair enough...

I just would welcome opinions on IF i decided to bring flowers what would be suitable or not...then on the day in question I may decide not to bring them...but if I do decide, what would I bring??

gbh

sar84 wrote: »

why dont they know what theyre talking about? majority are female & so know what females like.
& the rest of that makes you sound like extremely arrogant, if thats the way you talk on your date giving the flowers might be the highlight of the evening

How shall I answer this...

My answer is this...and I hope you have the intelligence to understand it cause i suspect you mightnt...
first off im not arrogant, but i guess arrogant is a new buzzword for you...
secondly, im not here for an argument or to be insulted or for people just to react negatively to everything i say or have playground taunts about not accepting what others say..thankfully we live in a free country and im free not to accept what others say, agreed?...if u can't keep it polite, then either you leave or I leave and you can have the thread to yourself and i wont be coming back...so its ur decision...
thirdly, and this is key...its not a universal phenonomen that people DONT bring flowers on a first date, agreed? IT does happen, it has happened and it will happen...if people think its odd, fair enough, but it does happen..and thankfully i have the backbone to disagree with people and to think to hell what they think if i dont like what they say...that's not arrogance, its called pleasing yourself...there is a difference...

gbh

gbh wrote: »

its called pleasing yourself...there is a difference...

the idea is to please your date, unless you're bringing flowers for yourself to carry around


and i doubt she'll be pleased

Rozabeez

Who wants to carry a load of flowers around all night?

Silverfish

Rozabeez wrote: »

Who wants to carry a load of flowers around all night?

Agree, once a very nice gentleman brought me flowers, I carried them for most of the night, then later on after they'd gotten caught in the 4th passer-by it was a bit more 'Ah here now' and I shoved them in the bin.

jellie

gbh wrote: »

How shall I answer this...

My answer is this...and I hope you have the intelligence to understand it cause i suspect you mightnt...
first off im not arrogant, but i guess arrogant is a new buzzword for you...
secondly, im not here for an argument or to be insulted or for people just to react negatively to everything i say or have playground taunts about not accepting what others say..thankfully we live in a free country and im free not to accept what others say, agreed?...if u can't keep it polite, then either you leave or I leave and you can have the thread to yourself and i wont be coming back...so its ur decision...
thirdly, and this is key...its not a universal phenonomen that people DONT bring flowers on a first date, agreed? IT does happen, it has happened and it
will happen...if people think its odd, fair enough, but it does happen..and thankfully i have the backbone to disagree with people and to think to hell what they think if i dont like what they say...that's not arrogance, its called pleasing yourself...there is a difference...

aw & there was me trying to help you from falling flat on your face..

i think i was perfectly polite, there were no "playground taunts". you dont like the opinions given on the thread so you lash out & try insult my intelligence? i didnt say bringing flowers was arrogant, it was ur attitude towards the money situation, that by being able to bring flowers you were somehow superior to all other males, & that someone who smokes, drinks or is on minimum wage is below you.

im not going to resort to commenting on your intelligence, im really not that bothered. good luck with the date... :rolleyes:

gbh

bluewolf wrote: »

the idea is to please your date, unless you're bringing flowers for yourself to carry around


and i doubt she'll be pleased

did it actually occur to you or others that i be meeting her at her house???

Did it???

Maybe you should apologise now for implying that i wud be so dumb to bring them around under my arm all night...

Why do i have to answer statements like this?? when people obviously havent thought through what they are going to say and then try and make out the other person is at fault...

gbh

sar84 wrote: »

aw & there was me trying to help you from falling flat on your face..

i think i was perfectly polite, there were no "playground taunts". you dont like the opinions given on the thread so you lash out & try insult my intelligence? i didnt say bringing flowers was arrogant, it was ur attitude towards the money situation, that by being able to bring flowers you were somehow superior to all other males, & that someone who smokes, drinks or is on minimum wage is below you.

i never said that i thought that..where did you get that idea i dont know but you are putting words in my mouth...and like i say i dont want an argument...all you do is react negatively to what i say, and have nothing constructive or relevant to say to my opening statement..but just want a fight or to prove you are better than me or something like that...

im not arrogant and i dont think im better than others so please dont assume that..i am saying everyone is free to spend their money how they like ok?? again how is that arrogant..

gbh

Anyways probably shouldn't say anything more on this thread.

To those who offered helpful advice, thanks...

To those who were trying to be clever but failed...no thanks...

gbh

gbh wrote: »

did it actually occur to you or others that i be meeting her at her house???

i didnt care enough to wonder? what's that got to do with what i said?

Why do i have to answer statements like this?? .

if you don't, god will kill a kitten

the_syco

Dude... you wanted feedback, and the ladies are giving you feedback. Take the f**king hint, will you?

Rozabeez

gbh, grow the f**ck up, nobody is trying to be clever, we were giving our opinions. Not everyone likes to be brought flowers on a date, you don't need to verbally attack everyone that disagrees with you. Seriously, get over it.

SW81

Don't ask for people's opinions if you're not willing to listen to them!

gbh

the_pyscho and bluewolf = dumb and dumber


The really intelligent people answered the question I asked which was what type of flowers would be suitable..

The stupid people answered a question i didnt ask and then try and blame me for their lack of intelligence...i cant take responsibility for peoples lack of intellect or for the fact they answer questions i didnt ask...i cant do that im sorry...

so im not interested in stupid answers ok...so please stop bothering me with those answers or else i wont come back..

and i dont care either if you dont care..keep that to yourself...

i guess on this site, on every thread there are dumb people and smart people..usually the dumb people think they are smarter than everyone else, i guess its insecurity about their intellect that makes them act this way...but i can see straight through it...

so please if ur gonna answer, answer what i asked, or else i just put u on ignore...

ok