Making my life a living hell

traceybere

I have a beautiful daughter who is now 5, me and her father spilt whe she was 3 months old - we had a good friendship until he doesn't get what he want - (originally it was over night, extra days ect). I'm 23, i have a brilliant well paid job and a loving partner of 3 yrs. Her dad is 38 works as a builder and hasn't got a lot going for him.

I have been to court 6 times now - he initaited each one. Each time he has got no more than i already give him and the judge comment twice how reasonable i was being. He sees her every second weekend and a week in summer winter and two long weekends. (He did have her more but the court set the above)I also allow her to go out for special occasions such as birthdays and always try to accomidate.

he is now making my life and my partners a living hell. He is constantly changing arrangments, showing up late or early, he lets my daughter down time and time again (forgot her school play). He ruined Christmas day for my family trying to change arrangements at the last minute.

I feel like i can't cope any more - i'm doing my very best to raise a happy healthy child - i want her to have her father in her life but not in mine - i can't stand the arguments, the stress the whole suituation....

Please help

Nevyn

Sorry to hear you are getting so stressed out traceybere.
You need to focus on bringing down your stress levels, when he mucks about with the arrangements he is letting himself down and showing himself up and his daughter will see this soon enough.

It's hard having to comfort and console a child when one of the two people they are ment to be able to rely on lets them down.

Keep a record of everything he breaks the arrangement, date time and what happened, if needs be take a date/timed stamped pic of his car pulling up, but I would suggest doing it discretely.

luckat

Perhaps you should go into family mediation, so that a neutral party might be able to help you and your partner, and your daughter's father, to negotiate an arrangement and keep it without his using it for emotional wrecking?