Sympathy please!

LadyJ

Ok, so I'm pretty much the only female in my office. I called in sick yesterday because I've been in bed since Saturday with some kind of bug/flu. Thought I'd be better by today but still feel unable to eat (well without getting sick anyway!).

Now I have had 2 other sick days since October. One was a bad cold and the other was when I had to go to the doctor for tests etc. Now this.Oh and a "personal day" when my aunt got taken to hospital. A lot I know but it couldn't be helped tbh.

Anyway, when I called my boss was kinda rude to me. He was like "U-huh, u-huh, right well I'll see you when I see you". That was yesterday. I explained to him I'd been sick all weekend and said I'd hopefully be in the next day (ie. today) but didn't know as I felt like crap.

I dunno if I should call again today considering I did already explain that I may not be in. Maybe a text would suffice. I dunno.

Anyway, we went for a pint the day we got our Christmas holidays and he spent the whole time talking about sick days and how he didn't seem to think anyone should take one unless they were in hospital. Then he told me that when it was just himself and the other lads in the office that there was only 3 sick days between them in 4 years or some sh!t. It's true though, they work through everything (sickness to the death of parents, honestly!) and I just can't/won't do that.

Do you think women on average take more sick days than men? That's what I'm being made feel like anyway.

Sorry about the rant but jesus, I can't help it if I'm sick, nor do I want to infect anyone else! However, I think they may actually fire me over this. It sucks because I really like my job.

Feck him Lady J. He is an ignorant twat to try and lay on a guilt trip.
It it the height of bad manners to go into work with something contagious in my book.

I once worked with a man who pulled a 6 month sickie with no doctors note, and then tried to wangle a promotion because of the disability it had left him with.

I have had several male co-workers tell me that they were pulling a sickie to watch a match.

The Irish men I have worked with have generally been less productive than the women. This laziness increases proportional as the ratio of men to women decreases. I have seen alot of men in female dominated envioroments, feel that they have a right to be cosseted by the women, do sweet f/a and waltz into career advancement because the male management considers them one of the lads.

LadyJ

I've never been fired before and I really think it's going to happen. I guess I have been off a lot in the past few months but I've had an awful lot on my plate and I've always been prone to getting sick from stress/over-tiredness.

I feel like I'm going to have to "explain myself" when I go back and apologise or something. I know it's really inconvenient for them but what can I do?! Also, I have a lot of hospital appointments coming up (ultrasound, heart echo, blood tests) because I've had a few problems lately and they want to make sure that everything is functioning ok. However, my boss laughs at me all the time over this. He tries to make out like I'm just being hilariously stupid to even think that I need any of these tests!

Not only this but he comments on what I eat all the time. I'm not overweight or anything so it's nothing like that but he just always says "Oh what's wrong?.....You're not eating!" As if that's all I do or something! No one else takes lunch at all. I eat breakfast, at my desk occasionally and go out for lunch. Since when is this odd?

He makes no remarks to the men but asks me things like, "So did you have chips for lunch again?" Not that I even eat chips all that much! I dunno. I'm just annoyed!

Quality

I would make sure to ring him and tell him you wont be in....

I hope your feeling better soon.

I'm not impressed with the sound of him at all. :mad:

I think it would be better to call in if you are worried about losing your job.
In my expierence if someone has been rude when they heard you weren't coming in, it is because they panic. When you ring the they second day they are on top it and are grand.
I'd ring him and if he is still being an asshole I'd stay out the third day and cover yourself with a doctors note for the records.

Does he talk about your private medical information in the middle of the office? :eek:

Zulu

<retract my statement: just realised this was ladies lounge.>

OP you should ring him regardless, just to let him know. Would he have taught it was a monday hangover?

Zulu

Zulu wrote: »

Yeah it's great being a man - I can't turn around for all the promotions I get! :rolleyes:
Actually think I'll ask for another today...

OP you should ring him regardless, just to let him know. Would he have taught it was a monday hangover?

This is true of my work expierences, I never said it was true of anyone elses.

Maple

ring in. do not send a text.

so sorry to hear of that rubbish LadyJ, your boss is a pig. don't think they can fire you over something like that tho missus, might be worth giving the Citizens Advice bureau a call.

MargeS

Can you not get a doctors cert, you've been sick for 4 days now. If two of them were work days you'd definitely be in trouble!

LadyJ

Ah it's not that big a deal. I only need a job until August anyway because I'm hopefully
heading back to college. However, it's just that this is a pretty cushy job and I'm good at it. Well, I think I am anyway. And I don't generally like my job so it's good enough for me. Only problem is the lunatic I work for!

I dunno, I just think it's hilarious because I would just never call in sick if I wasn't sick! I don't even drink during the week or on Sunday nights so I'm never hungover and he knows this so his attitude really gets to me.

LadyJ

MargeS wrote: »

Can you not get a doctors cert, you've been sick for 4 days now. If two of them were work days you'd definitely be in trouble!

I thought doctor notes only applied if you'd been off work for 3 days.

Nevyn

LadyJ wrote: »

I thought doctor notes only applied if you'd been off work for 3 days.

You need a note for the 3rd day but some employeer can insist on a dr note for any sick days.

Ring in cough and splutter and wheeze down the phone at him.
Don't let him intimidate you into not following the protocal for sick days as that can get you a written warning if not sacked.

Pyjamarama

I's agree with getting a sick note just so you're covered and he can't imply you were just pulling a sickie. It's completely out of order that he's belittling your hospital visits and it's not your fault if the rest of the people in your office have decided to be the bosses slave and never take lunch. Your entitled to your lunch and to days off if you're sick. I think some bosses just expect new people to act the same as everyone else in the office i.e. if no-one takes lunch then you shouldn't either :rolleyes:

Maple

LadyJ wrote: »

I thought doctor notes only applied if you'd been off work for 3 days.

They do. But I feel that it looks more official if you have a doctors cert. They have no real come back then because its officially documented that you're sick, rather it being on your say so. Its just covering your a$$.

Pyjamarama

LadyJ wrote: »

I thought doctor notes only applied if you'd been off work for 3 days.

I thought this was the case too.

MargeS

I realise you need 3 work days off sick to get a doc cert but in this case LadyJ has been sick for 4 days,. I think at this point she would need to go to a doc regardless of work.

takola

TBH, regardless of how many days your off I'd still get the doctor's cert just to cover myself. Especially if he's being a twit about it! At least you can give it to him and he can't say a word!!

Under no circumstances send a text message. Call or leave a voicemail if you don't want to talk to him.

LadyJ

Might get my ass to the doctor so.
I just never go to the doctor for things like flu. Stupid I know but I always just get over them on my own.
However, I'll see if he can speed up my recovery!

The_Conductor

LadyJ- there are a few things doing the rounds at the moment- its better to be safe than sorry.

To be honest- its never nice to be the only guy or the only girl, in an office comprised predominantly of members of the opposite sex.

In general (from public sector statistics) women do take on average almost 3 times as many sick days than men. However- the inverse of this is men simply don't take care of their health- and if something does go seriously wrong- its far more likely to be far worse than it might otherwise be. Its probably one of the reasons that women live nine years longer in Ireland than men do......

For your own sake I would recommend that you visit a doctor and get a sick note- then your sickleave is certified sickleave as opposed to uncertified sickleave. You are legally entitled to take a certain number of uncertified sick days per year- if you go over this, it can be factored into disciplinary hearings.

Ultimately- I'd suggest you look for a job elsewhere- as they do seem to have a caveman mentality, and its not fair on yourself trying to work in a place where you feel that you are always being scrutinised.

S.

LadyJ

Just back from my amazing doctor! He tells me that the reason I have been getting fluy symptoms on and off for years is because I have sinusitis. I also have a chest infection and he's given me a cert and advised me not to leave the house until Monday! Also prescribed antibiotics for me!

Wow, I should really stop avoiding the doctor! He's a freakin' genius!
No more bad breathing or sinusy headaches for LadyJ! Life is good!

jellie

glad you got it sorted. more days off & a doctors note to wave in his face, yay

as for the women taking more sick days then men, dont know whether its true or not but men are 100 times more annoying when theyre sick than women. men dont get sick, the nearly DIE (thats what my bfs like anyway ). id rather take 1 day off to recover & get over the worst of it than go to work sniffling & coughing & annoying everyone & making the whole office sick

LadyJ

sar84 wrote: »

glad you got it sorted. more days off & a doctors note to wave in his face, yay

as for the women taking more sick days then men, dont know whether its true or not but men are 100 times more annoying when theyre sick than women. men dont get sick, the nearly DIE (thats what my bfs like anyway ). id rather take 1 day off to recover & get over the worst of it than go to work sniffling & coughing & annoying everyone & making the whole office sick

Cheers sar84!

I know what you mean about men playing the death card! Lol.
This has certainly been true of all of my boyfriends anyway!

The_Conductor

Cool!
Now, I bet you're glad you went to the Doctor!
Take care- and heed his advice,

S.

LadyJ

smccarrick wrote: »

Cool!
Now, I bet you're glad you went to the Doctor!
Take care- and heed his advice,

S.

I am glad I gotta say! And thanks for your advice smccarrick!

Also, it's good to know that other people reckon they're being assholes too
because sometimes I wonder if I'm just being a little too sensitive about all
of the crap that they say to me!

tallaght01

smccarrick wrote: »

LadyJ- there are a few things doing the rounds at the moment- its better to be safe than sorry.

To be honest- its never nice to be the only guy or the only girl, in an office comprised predominantly of members of the opposite sex.

In general (from public sector statistics) women do take on average almost 3 times as many sick days than men. However- the inverse of this is men simply don't take care of their health- and if something does go seriously wrong- its far more likely to be far worse than it might otherwise be. Its probably one of the reasons that women live nine years longer in Ireland than men do......

For your own sake I would recommend that you visit a doctor and get a sick note- then your sickleave is certified sickleave as opposed to uncertified sickleave. You are legally entitled to take a certain number of uncertified sick days per year- if you go over this, it can be factored into disciplinary hearings.

Ultimately- I'd suggest you look for a job elsewhere- as they do seem to have a caveman mentality, and its not fair on yourself trying to work in a place where you feel that you are always being scrutinised.

S.

3 times as many? Is that really true? Are they lumping maternity leave in with sick days or something? Seems a lot, though.

Anyway, LadyJ, it's really really hard to fire someone for medical reasons. As long as you're out of the probationary stage of work. And the fact that you have a docs note makes it even more difficult to sack you.

Glad you got it sorted though

Lux23

Get yourself a doctor's note and hand it to him when you get in. If your are sick you shouldn't be in work and he really shouldn't be encouraging to come to work with contagious illnesses. I had a similar problem years ago when I had t take weeks off work for something and when I got back they tried to give me a writing warning regarding my sick leave even though I wasn't physically able to work. My own union rep would do nothing so I brought in another union rep and had a meeting with the managers and since then as far as I know they can't give warnings to people who's sick leave is covered by a doctor.

Pyjamarama

LadyJ wrote: »

Cheers sar84!

I know what you mean about men playing the death card! Lol.
This has certainly been true of all of my boyfriends anyway!

Maybe it's just my boyfriend but he takes waaaaaaaay more sick days than any female I know and it's mostly for the 'flu' which is never actually a flu but rather a cold! Man flu is a life threatening illness apparently!!

Glad you got it sorted LadyJ, I've got some weird sinus thing too but think it's just hayfever, sinus problems suck

Rattlehead_ie

Coming from a point of view where people would ring into me telling me their sick LadyJ. Always ALWAYS unless you can't physically talk ring in and let the boss know.
Don't take this the wrong way but for e.g. if you ring in sick and 2 other ppl have rang in sick, the 1st thing that goes through the head is." Right that means were going to be at least a days work behind" or "That means we dont have enough ppl to answer the calls and break SLA" or something along those lines, he wont really care and if he seems offish, its not cause its AT you rather than thinking the above. As long as you have a sick note from a DOC saying you were sick don't worry about it and F Him. Glad you went to DOC always good to find out something like that.

Star Lord

Have to say I rarely if ever take any sick days...

But so far as I know, if you've a doctors note covering you, then they can't discipline you, warn you or fire you for it.
If they do, then you take them up for unfair dismissal.

Then see who's feeling sick

Lockstep

I disagree with the idea of either men or women pulling more sickies.

If your sick, your sick. Maybe your just more susceptable to bugs or else you keep getting hit again before you recover, it's all up to the individual.

Clare Bear

Glad you got it sorted LadyJ...don't mind your Boss, feck him, if you're sick you're sick.

tk123

Yeah forget your boss - was there going to be a medal on your desk for coming in even if you felt like crap!? NO!! I had to take one there last week thou after I was in bed all weekend with a bad cold. I can only think of 2 days I took last year and one was for a hospital appointment. Anyhoos one day during the summer when I was taking a study break (i'm doing mcps) I was watching Oprah and Dr Oz was on taking abt neti pots. Now it sounds gross but they're basically a little pot that you put warm saline soultion in, pour it into your nostril and use it to flush out your sinuses. I get hayfever so I bought one on ebay, used it once and forgot about it. When I was smothering with the cold the other week the same episode came on and I remembered the pot - I tried it out and felt a difference after about 30 min - head aches and stuffiness gone.

embee

LadyJ,

Glad to read that you went to the doctor and got signed off for the week - rest up!!! Sinusitis is nasty


In relation to work and sick leave... When I was pregnant, I had morning sickness for the entire pregnancy, but I used to go in and soldier through it, every day. I'd be at my desk, gagging and turning green, but I'd go in and just bear it.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I obviously got bigger. I got more and more tired. I remember once going to my GP in tears - I was 7.5 months pregnant, aching all over and hysterical with exhaustion. I couldn't get comfortably behind the wheel of my little car and my hips were constantly sore. Work was customer services in a call centre and stressful beyond belief. He signed me off for a week and ordered me to get a weeks bedrest. I rang my boss and explained it to him, he said "Yes okay... well, you know, we're all tired... we'd all love to stay in bed for a day and rest". That was par for the course from him. When I went back to work the next week, a little refreshed (as much as I could be, carrying around a big baby, a placenta, loads of fluid, big huge boobs and extra weight all over) and I had to do a "return to work" interview... such a load of bollox. I had to sit in a room with him, explain what was wrong, and how I could avoid it in the future.. I remember saying to him "This is hardly going to be a problem once I have had the baby, now is it? Pregnancy-related exhaustion tends to stop when the pregnancy does" and he said "Yes, but you're getting a 6 month holiday once you have the child."

Some people just have bad attitudes

Clare Bear

Jesus Embee he needed to be slapped upside the head!! :mad:

Crumble Froo

LadyJ wrote: »

I feel like I'm going to have to "explain myself" when I go back and apologise or something. I know it's really inconvenient for them but what can I do?! Also, I have a lot of hospital appointments coming up (ultrasound, heart echo, blood tests) because I've had a few problems lately and they want to make sure that everything is functioning ok. However, my boss laughs at me all the time over this. He tries to make out like I'm just being hilariously stupid to even think that I need any of these tests!

would you take the whole day off for the tests, or just let him know you have the appointment, and will need to leave early, or that you'll be late in? i know i know, hospitals are a bitch to work around, i was a weekly visitor for a few years, and sometimes i could be in and out for the same thing in an hour that i was 5 hours waiting on the week before.

Not only this but he comments on what I eat all the time. I'm not overweight or anything so it's nothing like that but he just always says "Oh what's wrong?.....You're not eating!" As if that's all I do or something! No one else takes lunch at all. I eat breakfast, at my desk occasionally and go out for lunch. Since when is this odd?

He makes no remarks to the men but asks me things like, "So did you have chips for lunch again?" Not that I even eat chips all that much! I dunno. I'm just annoyed!

i would actually, and i kid you not, i would flip if anyone , friend or not was to say that to me. but a workmate/boss? im actually getting very angry and wound up just thinking about it. :mad:

Anti

Im off work now myself, Woke up yesterday morning in agony. Have no idea what i did to my back but it was really painfull to sit, stand or lie down. I went to to docs this evening and apparently the left side of my back is all in spasm So he ended up injecting me with a anti-inflamatory and a pain killer ( which has me wired to the moon and i cant sleep ) HE also prescribed me with vallium to help my muscle unspasm (sp?) and some strong painkillers and has told me to stay of work till monday.
I rang in yesterday but couldnt get through to my boss and left a message with HR and asked them to let him know. I knew he was off work today so i obviously didnt want to ring him at 9am so rang HR again and they suggested to ring him later in the day, which i had pbviously planned to do. Told him what was wrong and he seemed fine with it, and just advised i rang my collegue to let her know aswell and to give her my passwords.

I suppose some boss' are worse then others when it comes to sick days. In a job a few years ago i had pneumonia, and was in hospital for 3 days, and told to take 30 days from work. The company tried to sack me, and refused to to accept a medical cert from a doctor. I called the union in and they refused to back me. Even though i had to ring the company every day to let them know i wont be in.... They knew i had a cert for a month. They tried ot give me two verbal warnings, 2 written and a final written all in one go while i had a " back to work " or " bull**** " meeting as i call them. I took them there and then and left with a 2 week suspension. But i thought to myself that was illegal to do that so i checked with citizens advice and they told me to seek legal help. So i went to a solicitor i knew and he said it was infact illegal to do that. So he wrote a letter to the company and the whole lot was overturned. I took the rest of the two weeks off with pay ( yay ) and when i retured i was given a verbal and written appology and all warning wiped clean. But from that day onwads they made my life absolute hell

Anyway </rant>

Oh yeah, Ladyj. Do you have a HR department in your job? If i was you i would file a formal complaint to HR aboput him bullying you. Any workplace with any type of structure will treat this seriously and will have him off your back in no time.

LadyJ

narco wrote: »

would you take the whole day off for the tests, or just let him know you have the appointment, and will need to leave early, or that you'll be late in? i know i know, hospitals are a bitch to work around, i was a weekly visitor for a few years, and sometimes i could be in and out for the same thing in an hour that i was 5 hours waiting on the week before.

It's only going to be a morning for each and the bloods are the same day as the ultrasound so it only two mornings almost a month apart.

And Anti, we do not have a HR department. My boss is the owner of the company and only 7 of us work there which is another reason it's inconvenient for me to be off. Good for you seeking legal advice. I can only imagine what would happen in my job if I were to do that for any reason. My boss would actually go out of his way to make my life hell. Sorry you had to endure that crap. People are nuts.

The_Conductor

To be honest LadyJ- for the sake of your own sanity- it probably is time to go job hunting elsewhere for something in a better working environment.

*Page*

Hey I is sick too....

I was sick (just fluy) over christmas came back to work like everyone one else on the second... on the friday it was worse, so went to my doctor (i love him he is the best)

Anyway i ended up with a bad chest infection a week off and a ten day long antibiotic.

went back to my doc on sunday and he said i could do with a futher two days off...

So i come back in on the 16th still sick but getting over it or so i think,
I get called into the office for a chat and i now finish my employment on the 31st of this month.

So i kinda get how you feel...

but been back in since and have a guess what... I'm sick again, head cold, sore throat cant talk....

its poopie

takola

Is that your choice *page* or theirs? Seems very harsh!

Glad you got it sorted LadyJ. At least now he can't say anything to you.

I had to take a couple of sick days in December(certified and was on doctors orders) and I was still disciplined when I got back in regardless of the cert. Final written warning. It's just crap!

Cathmandooo

God love ye lot with your mean bosses, have to say I love my boss. I started working here 5 and a half years ago, within about 2 months of starting i got glandular fever, took loads of sick days til I got to the stage where i could barely breathe anymore, couldn't eat, couldn't keep anything down and went into my boss bawling my eyes out cos I was in such pain. Doc told me to take at least a month off, which I did, then I did 2 weeks of half days after Christmas. It was no problem at all with my boss and I was still fully paid. Been here since and I rarely take sick days! Worked out well for everyone

watna

LadyJ, speaking from a HR perspective. He can't fire you for being sick. If you ahve hospital test coming up, make sure the hospital/your doctor gives you sick notes. You're right in saying that you need a sick note for 3 days or more. If you're boss is being funny about it get one whenever you can. If you are sick a lot and he deems it unacceptable you ahve to be given a warning first.

My GP gives sick notes out without seeing him. I've been a patient of his for about 20 years. If you're a patient and you need a sick note for flu or something he charges you €10 and leaves it in reception for you. However, this will only work every so often!

Just get sick notes whenever you can, and especially for hospital appointments. I've taken half days before to get tested in Vincents and I found out afterwards the doctor there could have given me a note. If you feel that you can't take sick leave for tests ask for annual leave or even unpaid leave. It may annoy him that you're sick, I know what it;s like to come down with things a lot. people who are generally very healthy don't understand though.

*Page*

Their choice, they are saying that they wanted to talk to me before i got sick and it wasnt about me being sick, they think i cant handle the work load...


dont care at this point i just want to go home to bed....

senordingdong

LadyJ wrote: »

Ok, so I'm pretty much the only female in my office. I called in sick yesterday because I've been in bed since Saturday with some kind of bug/flu. Thought I'd be better by today but still feel unable to eat (well without getting sick anyway!).

Now I have had 2 other sick days since October. One was a bad cold and the other was when I had to go to the doctor for tests etc. Now this.Oh and a "personal day" when my aunt got taken to hospital. A lot I know but it couldn't be helped tbh.

Anyway, when I called my boss was kinda rude to me. He was like "U-huh, u-huh, right well I'll see you when I see you". That was yesterday. I explained to him I'd been sick all weekend and said I'd hopefully be in the next day (ie. today) but didn't know as I felt like crap.

I dunno if I should call again today considering I did already explain that I may not be in. Maybe a text would suffice. I dunno.

Anyway, we went for a pint the day we got our Christmas holidays and he spent the whole time talking about sick days and how he didn't seem to think anyone should take one unless they were in hospital. Then he told me that when it was just himself and the other lads in the office that there was only 3 sick days between them in 4 years or some sh!t. It's true though, they work through everything (sickness to the death of parents, honestly!) and I just can't/won't do that.

Do you think women on average take more sick days than men? That's what I'm being made feel like anyway.

Sorry about the rant but jesus, I can't help it if I'm sick, nor do I want to infect anyone else! However, I think they may actually fire me over this. It sucks because I really like my job.

I'd say women take more sick days.
'Cos...ya know...