Girl Meets Boy

LegacyUser

Okay...
Girl meets boy she's never known before.
There are a few dates....
Girl likes boy, but its quite obvious boy really, really, really, really likes girl.
Girl likes him, but not as much as he likes her, but does like him!

Girl feels bad that she doesn't like him as much back (but does like him).


...girl wants to know if this is ok?...
Girl means, is it ok for one side to like the other way more at the beginning? Or should girl end it now incase she ends up hurting boy further down the line (if she never ends up liking him as much as he likes her).

That make sense?

Or is this what its all about, taking a chance that may or may not work out?

Girl.

Balmed Out

Id just give it a lash so long as your honest with him its his own fault if he gets into u too much too quickly. Not your responsibility. Are you sure hes so mad about u, seems a bit much after a few dates.

Overheal

perhaps yong naive puppy love. Awww....

I say go with it a while. It shouldnt take very long before it balances out.

Rattlehead_ie

go for it I say. You have to learn to take risks and to be honest. Loads of couples star toff with one half "liking" the other more than the other.
GO FOR IT!

J.S. Pill

Girl Meets Boy wrote: »

...girl wants to know if this is ok?...
Girl means, is it ok for one side to like the other way more at the beginning? Or should girl end it now incase she ends up hurting boy further down the line (if she never ends up liking him as much as he likes her).

By the sounds of things, It doesn't really matter if you end it now or 'further down the line', if he really really likes you now he's probably going to be hurt if you end it now. So? What have you got to loose by giving it a bit longer??

Overheal

I agree. If you're into him and he to you then I dont see the problem. If later one of you decides they dont have feelings for the other then so be it. Dont throw him for a loop just because he likes you more than you like him. I mean, at least have a good reason :rolleyes:

Talliesin

Girl Meets Boy wrote: »

Girl means, is it ok for one side to like the other way more at the beginning?

No, all feelings must be calibrated by ISO-certified quantity surveyors at regular intervals throughout the relationship and they couple must be restrained from any contact should there be more than 1.5% difference between the two.

Hmm. That's pretty ridiculous, isn't it? Guess we'd better go with letting things happen or not naturally, instead.

Overheal

Not too naturally: if he tries to take things too fast dont hesitate to set pace. Many a boyfriend/girlfriend mucked up the pond when they took it farther and faster than the other was comfortable with. Better relationships were made over a low heat with a long cook time anyway.

w00t post #2000

Hermy

Talliesin wrote: »

No, all feelings must be calibrated by ISO-certified quantity surveyors at regular intervals throughout the relationship and the couple must be restrained from any contact should there be more than 1.5% difference between the two.

Hmm! Talliesin, why didn't ISO inform me of this new standard?:mad:
I was that boy once but I knew that the feeling wasn't mutual so I didn't hate her when she dumped me shortly afterwards.:( As Balmed Out says, so long as you're honest with him its his own fault if he gets into you too much too quickly.

annemarie13

you may nvr meet a nice guy like him ever again.and it sounds like he really likes you and wouldnt hurt you.

Aura

Just be honest with him. I took a nosedive out of something recently and this did play a part in my finishing things well that and some severe ex confusion but that's another kettle of fish entirely.. Anyway I've since come to the conclusion that as long as you're honest about how you're feeling there is no reason in the world why you shouldn't give it a whirl. If you enjoy the guys company at least give things a chance to build and if they don't then it wasn't meant to be but everyone has to take a gamble when getting involved with someone and he is too. As long as all cards are on the table then it's in no way wrong and who knows it might pay off for the two of you and anyway the balance in even the most long term relationship shifts quite frequently. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to affairs of the heart nor indeed can they be calibrated, all you can be is honest!

Best of luck.

A

Wibbs

annemarie13 wrote: »

you may nvr meet a nice guy like him ever again.and it sounds like he really likes you and wouldnt hurt you.

I can see where you're coming from but I have to disagree in part with you.

The world is full of nice guys. This stuff isn't an all or nothing thing. It's not about the "one" or any of the overly fairytale stuff trotted out by far too many. There are many "ones" for all of us.

While I think the OP should give it a go, she should also not fall into the trap of moving too fast with this guy, especially if he's a newbie at love. If he isn't a newbie the moving too fast won't come up anyway. Keep things casual for a while. Just go out and enjoy each others company. I would even suggest keeping the physical side low key at first too. This isn't some moral vibe either. A lot figure they can handle more than they can and there's nothing like sex where one feels more than the other to ramp things up.

Aura

Yeah definitely agree on taking things slowly if you're not 100% on same page. Anything more and you could be sabotaging it for you both. Bit bewildered wibbs by the better sex reference though. Aren't two people enjoying it just two people enjoying it? Or are you refering to the possible physical emotional dance?

Wibbs

Aura wrote: »

Bit bewildered wibbs by the better sex reference though.

Sorry, it should have ended "ramp it up in a bad way". Doh:D

Aren't two people enjoying it just two people enjoying it?

I have found that to be the case rarely enough. Yes it can be just sex and two people enjoying it. That's cool if both know where the relationship or not is going. It can and often does get messy, especially if there is a growing emotional relationship on the cards. If one or both in the relationship are inexperienced or emotionally immature that can add trouble too. It's not just sex either, any intimacy that is perceived as stronger by one person may shift the balance in a not so good way. Given that the OP herself sees an imbalance in feelings from the get go anything that could make that more unbalanced is to be avoided I would say.

Or are you refering to the possible physical emotional dance?

Pretty much.

Aura

A veritable case of "Careful now.. " indeed and well advised.

celt262

Do u like him?

Aura

She says she does but not as much as he seems to like her and therein lies the problem..
I still say she should go for it albeit slowly and with complete honesty when and where needed.
Life's short and who knows...

Kiya

Girl Meets Boy wrote: »

...girl wants to know if this is ok?...
Girl means, is it ok for one side to like the other way more at the beginning?

In every single relationship there is always the person who likes the other more. fact. thats just the way it is.
absolutely nothing you can do about it, just have fun with each other and take it slow & see how you both get on.
please dont start thinking about ending a relationship before its even turned into one, give the guy a chance.

best of luck

Wibbs

Kiya wrote: »

In every single relationship there is always the person who likes the other more. fact. thats just the way it is.

I wouldn't agree. In good relationships that ebbs and flows between the partners. One liking the other more at times and vice versa. If it doesn't dip beyond a certain point with one person for an extended time then it'll keep going. It can change quite radically too. I've been with women where at the beginning I was the one more attached which flipped around to them being more attached to me. I've even been dumped where down the line(always when I was well over it) they liked me more and wanted to try again. So I would say that your statement is correct but only at a particular moment. Of course this is in the long term, in the short term your idea can hold true.

please dont start thinking about ending a relationship before its even turned into one, give the guy a chance.

Agreed on that.

Liam Byrne

Give it a shot....and be careful what you wish for....

I met someone last year who seemed to be completely running away with herself as to where it was going (mentions of stuff next Sept, etc), so I was in your boat, wary about hurting her; I got over it and ran with it, but I got into the idea and - apparently - she got out of it.

So basically what I'm saying is that if you like him and he you, then go with it.....as long as you do like him, run with it, and quit worrying about analysing how he feels, coz that dynamic might change at some stage and you'll wonder why you were so anxious about it.

As Wibbs said, a good relationship has ebb and flow.....a bad one, however, is one that has a complete imbalance that doesn't change.

Have fun while you can, and then see how it goes....you never know.......

spinandscribble

to be blunt; girl thinks too much.

pisslips

Man this is so ridiculous.I've recently been showing interest in someone who kinda blew all her cards before I'd even begun to show mine.Now I'm shy and protective because I know from previous experience that you can't always trust your emotions at first.It reminds me of drunken night when I was sixteen, when I came as close as possible to telling some girl or other that I loved her or going totally cold on her spontaneously.It's a ridiculous balance.
Anyway, earlier girl has now started to be more...well almost cold now, simply because she's obviously realised she went a bit too far last time.

Anyway, it's a ridiculously stupid game that I'm totally confused about and because of it, because of fear basically, I'll probably not even bother with some girl I like who also likes me...wtf is that about?
Exactly it's stupid, just forget about it, if you like him you like him, what else matters?

Clause: I've never managed to maintain a meaningful relationship, so you might not want to listen to me.

paul_ire57

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Give it a shot....and be careful what you wish for....

I met someone last year who seemed to be completely running away with herself as to where it was going (mentions of stuff next Sept, etc), so I was in your boat, wary about hurting her; I got over it and ran with it, but I got into the idea and - apparently - she got out of it.

So basically what I'm saying is that if you like him and he you, then go with it.....as long as you do like him, run with it, and quit worrying about analysing how he feels, coz that dynamic might change at some stage and you'll wonder why you were so anxious about it.

As Wibbs said, a good relationship has ebb and flow.....a bad one, however, is one that has a complete imbalance that doesn't change.

Have fun while you can, and then see how it goes....you never know.......

I think Liam has hit most of the nails on the head. If you like him enough to be in a relationship then let it take its course and just be honest with him. Also Wibbs was right saying feelings in relationships ebb and aflow between ppl. Maybe in a couple of months things may have turned around or you may be as mad about him as he is about you. But the only way to find that out is time which i think is what it deserves

AngryBadger

Talliesin wrote: »

No, all feelings must be calibrated by ISO-certified quantity surveyors at regular intervals throughout the relationship and they couple must be restrained from any contact should there be more than 1.5% difference between the two.

Hmm. That's pretty ridiculous, isn't it? Guess we'd better go with letting things happen or not naturally, instead.

+1

also lol

Liam Byrne

paul_ire57 wrote: »

I think Liam has hit most of the nails on the head.

Chalk that down to experience......because my ex seemed SO into it very early on, I went through the "be careful" phase, but once I got through it I let my guard down WAY too much; yeah, in the process there were some really great times and it felt like I was the luckiest guy in the world, so I had no complaints - it was well worth taking the chance at that stage and I will - eventually - look back with some fond memories.

But something changed and it left me completely baffled as to what the **** happened.....I'm not even sure if she just hit a phase like the OP's going through, but it hit me hard coz I'd given it a shot when I had doubts and yeah, she was worth it - and still would be if she'd been able to give it a shot.

So yeah - dynamics change; if they don't change too dramatically, and if there's mutual respect and honesty, and no stupid games, then there isn't a problem. Plus, you can never really tell if someone "really, really" likes you in the early days, coz you don't know them or how they normally start off in a relationship.... so don't panic over it because of what's on YOUR head.....it might be a perception of yours, rather than how he actually feels; not saying he doesn't like you a lot (and you him) but I'm just saying don't panic......

If there's something there between ye, then be as honest as you can and then give it a go......you never know.....