I think I've gone a bit wrong

LegacyUser

I'm not sure where to start or what to put. I don't know if this'll help, really, but I've got to do something. I've beome so far removed from who I used to be. I'm alienating myself from my friends. In college, I've started avoiding people. I arrive late for lectures, leave straight after they're over and don't hang around in between. I eat lunch alone because it just seems simpler that way. At Christmas, I told a friend I'd call over with her Christmas present but I still haven't; I haven't even wrapped it; I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Another friend got in touch and asked if I'd like to meet up and I never replied; I wanted to but didn't feel able to. So many texts from different people went unanswered over the holidays. A friend from a group of non-college pals that I dearly love and need texted me asking me to come on a big night out and it was four days before I felt capable of replying.

I've become a closed book because I have to be. There's so much stuff that none of my friends or family members know about, and they can't know either - like the shoplifting I did a while back, or the people I slept with who I didn't even know. I'm even drifting away from my best friend. There's so much I can't tell her.

I broke up with a guy I was going out with because I couldn't deal with him wanting to go out together all the time, or the fact that he wanted me to meet his family. I've fallen for another guy and have become a bit obsessed - I imagine situations involving the two of us as though they are actually happening and compose entire conversations we have in my head.

I can't study. I've never been good at college study, but now I want to, I sit down and try, but I am just incapable of doing it. I know this will be bad for exam results and career prospects, but it's hard to care. I don't know what I want to do by way of a career - at the moment I don't want any particular career all that much.

I give up on everything I begin. I feel entirely incapable of organising anything, even simple things. I have to organise college society related-events and I keep putting it off. I procrastinate about everything.

I find it so hard to get up in the mornings. Every morning these days I wake up and imagine tears rolling down the sides of my face, but I haven't cried in so long.

Please help. I just don't know what to do.

craichoe

Sounds like your not sleeping very well.

I'd say get a bit of exercise and you'll be alot better off

Wibbs

It could be lack of sleep among other stresses.

Try and write down in a list, the things that worry you. Attack them one by one, that way it'll feel much less over whelming.

If you do feel like you're getting worse I would see a counselor in your college. Best to nip things like this in the bud.

Plascebo

Sephy are drugs an issue here. It sounds like you are feeling the isolation and other problems associated with a secret drug habit? If this is the case you MUST get help, tell your friends!!!

jawlie

Sephy wrote: »

I'm alienating myself from my friends....I've started avoiding people... I eat lunch alone because it just seems simpler...
I've become a closed book because I have to be...I give up on everything I begin. I feel entirely incapable of organising anything... I procrastinate about everything...I find it so hard to get up in the mornings... Every morning these days I wake up and imagine tears rolling down the sides of my face, but I haven't cried in so long.

Please help. I just don't know what to do.

I'm not sure if you really feel the best place to get proper, sound, advice is from an an anonymous, free, internet chat forum from strangers. Do you?

theram

Definitely go speak to a counsellor. Sounds like you need to talk but dont want to talk to your friends. A Counsellor will help. Seems like you're in a locked room, you want to get out, but cant find the door. Go to the College counsellor.

Semele

did this start to happen gradually or is there anything specific you can date it to?

LegacyUser

jawlie wrote: »

I'm not sure if you really feel the best place to get proper, sound, advice is from an an anonymous, free, internet chat forum from strangers. Do you?

Anonymity can sometimes be the most comfortable way to offload