Need some advice

LegacyUser

Hi! Im a 25 year old girl who has been going out with a brilliant fella for 7 months, completely in love with each other, but there are some problems with our sex life: as in we find it impossible to perform the act! The problem is that it hurts me so much that we have to stop. I really dont understand why it keeps happening, Im comfortable around him, I know that I am ready to sleep with him (Im a virgin) and Im always completely relaxed and we have used lubricant, but it still hurts so much that I have to get him to stop. I figured that I must just be one of the unlucky ones that its hurts alot the first time so I decided to experiment with a vibrator to try and get the sore times out of the way so that I could enjoy it with my boyfriend. It goes in fully but on penetration it still hurts, even though Ive tried it three times now, plus Ive started to get a weird pain in the bottom of my abdomen (this only occured today).

I would appreciate if anyone could offer any advice on how to make this easier or to just re-assure me that this is just normal for some girls!

Thanks

dudara

OK, if you're actually hurting even without having intercourse, then you need to go to a GP.

Marksie

with any "weird" pains that suddenly occur or with continued pain.
Go to the doctor for a check up.

Oryx

The tightness *can be* normal. The pain wouldnt be though. Yes there are times when penetration hurts and there are non serious reasons for it, but in your case its a new pain, and youre doing something unfamiliar, so a trip to your GP is the best course. And you dont sound like someone who embarrasses too easily, so please ask him/her about your concerns over the difficulty you are having with tightness.

But really, dont worry. You could just be particularly tight, or small, or he could be big, there is a harmless condition called vaginismus which can be corrected just by learning new techniques. Regardless of what the cause of this is, you are going to get it sorted.:)
And then youll have a brill time.

LegacyUser

Still painful wrote: »

Hi! Im a 25 year old girl who has been going out with a brilliant fella for 7 months, completely in love with each other, but there are some problems with our sex life: as in we find it impossible to perform the act! The problem is that it hurts me so much that we have to stop. I really dont understand why it keeps happening, Im comfortable around him, I know that I am ready to sleep with him (Im a virgin) and Im always completely relaxed and we have used lubricant, but it still hurts so much that I have to get him to stop. I figured that I must just be one of the unlucky ones that its hurts alot the first time so I decided to experiment with a vibrator to try and get the sore times out of the way so that I could enjoy it with my boyfriend. It goes in fully but on penetration it still hurts, even though Ive tried it three times now, plus Ive started to get a weird pain in the bottom of my abdomen (this only occured today).

I would appreciate if anyone could offer any advice on how to make this easier or to just re-assure me that this is just normal for some girls!

Thanks

Hi there. When I was 19 I had been seeing someone for 3 years and we still hadn't had penetrative sex because I found it too painful as well. I'm not saying you're exactly the same as me though ...and yes I'd go to the doctor definitely. I did. Initially (Catholic Ireland) because I was 19 I was fobbed off twice by 2 of them saying I was too young and probably anxious (and I'd go to hell!) Obviously they won't tell you that as you're older and that was a long time ago and all those doctors have hopefully retired! I was then referred to a gynaechologist (or however you spell it!) who recommended these glass insertion things, similar to a vibrator (but not half as much fun at the time lol) but I couldn't manage it, too painful. Frustrated as bejaysus, eventually, when I finally got referred to a maternity hospital to see a female gynaechologist, she recommended a quick and complication-less op. They took me in and stretched the vaginal muscle whilst I slept with a clamp. I was out the same day, a little sore but nothing you'd cry about, and I had sex a few days later with my guy. Problem solved. I knew in my heart it wasn't a psychological problem, some of us are just a little too tight in that region. You sound like a possible similar case. I haven't looked back and the frustration is gone! Try get referred to a good place, and, not being sexist, but normally a female gynae understands better as she has the same equipment! Good luck.

Toots

A friend of mine found intercourse very painful for the first 10 times or so but it gradually got better. She was very small (about a size six) and her BF was a big guy, rugby player.

However, if you are experiencing pain and discomfort while not having intercourse, I would echo what is being said above and advise that you see your GP for a check up, or go to the wellwoman centre if you would prefer.