still a virgin :(

half_life_man

im really worried about the future, im nearly goin on 18 and still a virgin. nearly everyone in my year has lost their virginity and i just hate the slaggin i get in school because i havnt had sex yet. i havnt even went far with a girl. its really annoying me. is there anyone out there who has lost there virginity and a late age? its not even like im bad lookin either i just never been with much girls. i have that feeling ill never have sex till a late age. is there anyone that had a **** time with girls in school and is like a player now. i just hate the way people have a that opinion of me, that i'll never get a nice lookin girl friend.

jdivision

You say yourself that "nearly" everyone has lost their virginity, so for a start you're not alone. In addition, there's bound to be a few who are talking crap. Don't worry about it.

Marksie

OP: i didnt lose mine until gone 18 and hadn't had much experience until then. Dont put pressure on yourself

louiscollins

here what the **** like...
why wud u do something just cos u feel PRESSURED into it! its not right that ppl slag u. but ur worse for listening!!
sleep with a girl in your own time mate, otherwise u may have regrets.
i slept with 2 girls before i fell in love, and wish i cud erase them. i only did it on holidays once cos all my mates wud slag me if i came home a virgin! cop on!

jd83

you find that have your so called mates who slag you have not lost theirs yet. Usually the ones who boast about it are the ones who havent. Who cares you will meet someone eventually

WildIrishRose

I am Female so i might think differently than male posters here. I do not think 18 am being a virgin is anything to worry about.
Are you really sure that your mates are not telling porkey pie's... I know i had a mate that used to tell all his male friend that he lost it when he was 17..... but that was lie's as he told me. (STILL AT 21 HE IS STILL A VIRGIN) so there are many other people in your shoes... the pressure is on and i understand it.. but for something so special and that you probablt will remember for the rest of your life.... be patient and wait for the right person to come along..!

Good Luck!

JC 2K3

Being a virgin at 17 is nothing out of the ordinary, not sure what the problem is exactly.

If you were 25 or something, then you might have a case for a PI. Seriously, just get on with your life.

Caliden

You're still a kid so your username doesnt make any sense at all. I'm sure all your friends' first times were awkward/rubbish and not a bit special.

It's worth waiting for someone special.

Talliesin

Relax. The fact that you aren't lying about having gotten laid like many of the other children you know reflects qualities that'll stand you in good stead in this regard later.

Talliesin

Relax. The fact that you aren't lying about having gotten laid like many of the other children you know reflects qualities that'll stand you in good stead in this regard later.

madbev90210

I think you sound like a smart guy. In school I was very quiet and shy and a virgin but I didnt feel pressure when my classmates discussed all their sexual partners, only disgust! Despite my lack of confidence I had and have some respect for my body. Turned out I met "The One" just before I turned 18 and am nearly 4 years with him. We have no diseases, truly love each other and never get embarrased.. (corny I know!)

Definitely wait until you find someone you at least care about and feel comfortable with. That way you'll remember your first time as special and not dirty and seedy as alot of teenagers do.

Good luck man

unreggd

college is comin soon

Have ye not seen them college documentaries



American Pie or somethin


Dont stress, if ye rush into it ye'll regret it, forever

Piste

Whether your friends are having sex or not doesn't really matter, maybe they are, maybe they're not, it's how YOU feel.


Sure you could go out, pull some drunk bird and have 3 seconds of sex down an alley way juat to get your virginity out of the way, but after that you'll be thinking "is that it? what was the point?" you wont feel any different, except for perhaps a little sleazy.

Being a virgin is not a reflection on you or your personality, and it's not a bad thing! When you lose it, no-one will see you any differently, in fact, it's doubtful that anyone else will care! Will you view yourself any differently? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you'll look back and laugh at yourself for being so worried about your virginity!

Dudess

half_life_man wrote: »

im really worried about the future, im nearly goin on 18 and still a virgin.

Love your use of the word "still". Listen, you're not 45 just yet!

nearly everyone in my year has lost their virginity

And you know this for sure because you saw all of them losing it!

is there anyone out there who has lost there virginity and a late age?

Yes, I'm sure there are people who have lost their virginity at a "late age" - as in, 40+. You're not even 18? I shudder to think what you consider an "early" age

is there anyone that had a **** time with girls in school and is like a player now.

You bet there is. The geeks of school can often become the hotties of college!

WildIrishRose wrote: »

STILL AT 21 HE IS STILL A VIRGIN

Wow! So OLD!! Insane as it may seem, there are PLENTY of people in their 20s who are still virgins - and aren't freaks!

JC 2K3 wrote: »

If you were 25 or something, then you might have a case for a PI.

Meh, being a virgin at 25 might be a case for a PI because of the worry it causes the person (due to all the pressure which, it's fair to say, is mostly put on by themselves) but not because there's actually anything wrong with it.
OP, I'm a lot older than you so of course I have a different perspective and I remember being your age and also being freaked about being a virgin because my friends claimed to be sexually active since 16 or barely 17 - some of them 15. So the night the leaving cert finished I went to a party, had a few drinks and just got it over with. It was shortly after I turned 18. Total letdown. The first time often is though, and you don't HAVE to hold out until you meet that "special someone", but don't just do it because everyone else is.
Believe me, you will look back on this and laugh/marvel at how silly it was. And you will also realise that it's not that great for school kids to be having sex anyway - what's the rush?

Overheal

Marksie wrote: »

OP: i didnt lose mine until gone 18 and hadn't had much experience until then. Dont put pressure on yourself

thats because youre a kinky tantric player-bastard as evident in your posts 18 is early enough to be fair. The age people are deciding to hit a home run seems to be getting higher as time marches on.

To be totally honest OP I am 20 I am a virgin and it doesnt bother me much at all. I grant you the next 2 years you will think something is wrong with you before you wake up and realise that in fairness there are still plenty of virgins both male and female when you get into college. The majority of whom are waiting for that someone special - femFriend of mine has had plenty a boy toy in the past and is still a virgin: completely evident in her take on sex related topics (which is still kinda ewww gross )

I wouldnt worry: it will happen when it happens. I could think of ways and methods to get legitimate sex in under a month and have it done away with but I'd much rather wait for something special to come along. And thats the one piece of advice I constantly get of my popped friends. Some of them lost it in the best way ever and others lost it regrettably - all agree you will be better off to be patient. At 18 though its a bravado thing and your guy friends will love slinging their dick over their shoulder for a while until they realise later that it was a mistake to go buy a hooker or nail that drunk girl from the club.

LegacyUser

Listen mate i wouldn't worry about it. I was 19 when i lost mine. I never kissed many girls in school, mainly due to a lack of confidence. I kissed a girl for the first time when i was 15 and not many thereafter until i went to college and started socialising a bit more. It's just a confidence thing. I wouldn't take any notice of the lads in school. Some of those guys teasing you are virgins themselves and that's a fact. They tease others who they know haven't had sex yet so as to take the spotlight off them. Some of them are lying. I know because i did it myself. Not tease other lads, but lie about losing my virginity earlier than i did. It will happen.

pisslips

Hmmmm....welll.....
It's not even an issue really.However, you are eighteen and despite the peer pressure and whatnot you're probably more driven by your raging hormones, well I was anyway.I would have ****ed someone when I was 14 given the chance but luckily I wasn't.

To me, virginity is nothing, it's just some fabricated milestone.I wouldn't worry about losing it or keeping it.Some people talk about it needing to be 'special', which I feel is just not true at all, for me anyway, again some sort of social fabrication.We all want sex.It can be good just casual and it can be better with some emotional connection.It's not magical or different, you just want it.Just like eating, good food except it affects you on a little bit of a deeper level.If you want to go out and have sex then try, simple as.Don't feel like you have to or that you can't because it's not special.
Just wear protection and most of all beware of all the ****ed up emotional wrecks out there, who have worried about sex and sexuality for too long, there's no durex for them.

wandering_star

1 you're 18, relax, however I know that is really patronising as I too was once in your shoes...when you're older (again sorry for the patronising-ness), you'll be glad that you waited
2 they say that they've lost it...and no-one was there to witness it, so they can say what they like

If it helps a friend of mine never even KISSED a guy until she was 22, and no she wasn't a minger, she was really pretty, one of the prettiest of the group, she had a huge amount of confidence, just she always saw guys as friends...it's hard to explain, but anyway, now she's in her mid 20s, has a great bf and by all accounts a very healthy sex life, so don't worry about it, it'll happen, the more you pressure yourself the worse you'll feel-chillax.

bronte

You have NOTHING to worry about.
Please don't rush into it.

dr.bollocko

How do you expect to get laid if you dont try to get yourself laid?
Sitting there in a pile of angst isnt gonna help you or help anyone else you know?
Buy yourself some self confidence with a new outfit. Talk to some girls you will never meet again to practice. Be bold, stupidly bold. It often has its own rewards.

Or go on holiday to a Spanish island largely populated by female british tourists. That'll probably do it.

orestes

Like an earlier poster said, most of them have. And some of the ones who are saying they have are probably lying about it. I know this because I lied about it when I was in school. I still feel guilty every now and again lying about it, not for their sakes, they were all **** and bullshi**ers, but for giving in to peer pressure and buying into all that crap, just ignore it and you'll be ok man

Esel

half_life_man wrote: »

...im nearly goin on 18 and still a virgin. .

So, being 'nearly goin on 18' makes you what, 16?

Ask your friends if their arses are still sore, tbh.

Manic Moran

Dude, I was over a year into UCD before I ever received even a proper snog. I've made up sufficient lost time since then. I wouldn't worry about it.

NTM

kev_s88

half_life_man wrote: »

im really worried about the future, im nearly goin on 18 and still a virgin. nearly everyone in my year has lost their virginity and i just hate the slaggin i get in school because i havnt had sex yet. i havnt even went far with a girl. its really annoying me. is there anyone out there who has lost there virginity and a late age? its not even like im bad lookin either i just never been with much girls. i have that feeling ill never have sex till a late age. is there anyone that had a **** time with girls in school and is like a player now. i just hate the way people have a that opinion of me, that i'll never get a nice lookin girl friend.

im 19 and im still waiting.its got nothing to do with you.its just that some people manage to find the right person at an earlier age.some people find the one who feels the same about you as you do about them.i mean im not bad looking either, im a nice guy, singer and guitarist in an allrite band.people think i should be swimming in girls but its just not like that.but it will happen soon so theres nothing to worry about.

Dudess

dr.bollocko wrote: »

How do you expect to get laid if you dont try to get yourself laid?
Sitting there in a pile of angst isnt gonna help you or help anyone else you know?
Buy yourself some self confidence with a new outfit. Talk to some girls you will never meet again to practice. Be bold, stupidly bold. It often has its own rewards.

Or go on holiday to a Spanish island largely populated by female british tourists. That'll probably do it.

That's like something you'd say to a 20-something lad in college. The OP is a schoolkid (sorry OP, but you are).

pisslips wrote:

Hmmmm....welll.....
It's not even an issue really.However, you are eighteen and despite the peer pressure and whatnot you're probably more driven by your raging hormones, well I was anyway.I would have ****ed someone when I was 14 given the chance but luckily I wasn't.

To me, virginity is nothing, it's just some fabricated milestone.I wouldn't worry about losing it or keeping it.Some people talk about it needing to be 'special', which I feel is just not true at all, for me anyway, again some sort of social fabrication.We all want sex.It can be good just casual and it can be better with some emotional connection.It's not magical or different, you just want it.Just like eating, good food except it affects you on a little bit of a deeper level.If you want to go out and have sex then try, simple as.Don't feel like you have to or that you can't because it's not special.
Just wear protection

Some very good advice there.

and most of all beware of all the ****ed up emotional wrecks out there, who have worried about sex and sexuality for too long, there's no durex for them.

What do you mean? Just interested.

As for all this rampant sex schoolkids are supposed to be having - where are they doing it? Doubtful it's in a bed but behind sheds, in public toilets etc. I'd be very surprised if most people weren't disgusted by that and would rather wait.
Seriously OP, you'll realise as you get older that all this talk of teenage sex was exactly that - talk.
I remember thinking my brother and his mates - really popular, good-looking guys - were all shagging like alley-cats when they were 16 or 17. They just gave me that impression. He told me later that the vast, vast majority of them didn't start having sex until their late teens/early 20s. He was 19 and a half - one of the first of his mates to lose his cherry.

Sex shouldn't be about broad social trends - it's very much an individual thing.

Lux23

To be honest you are nearly better off waiting till you get into college anyway. That lad who you think is a bit of a player won't be so cocky if he gets a girl up the duff or ends with a spotty knob. Believe it or not it may actually work to your advantage with certain girls if you play up your sensitive side. If you really want to get rid of it though the only think you can do is to keep trying when your out with girls, just take the knock back and move onto the next one till you score.

me2gud4u

hey don't worry loads of 18 yr olds have not had sex. In fact the majority I know havn't and they aren't weird or anything!Some of them are in long relationships too since 16 and still havn't. I wouldn't listen to all this bravado etc. Just wait until you have met someone you feel comfortable with and see how things go!but in meantime, take a chill pill!!!!

Dudess

half_life_man wrote: »

im really worried about the future

Plus, that's a rather OTT thing to say. Why do you think just because you haven't had sex by now (the grand old age of not even 18!) you still won't have had it by, I don't know, 30? Or that your entire future is going to be affected because of your lack of having sex at 17 going on 18? If that's all you have to worry about then you should be excited about the future, not worried.

Lollipops23

OP my BF lost his at 19, i was only his second girl.the lack of experience doesn't show and it felt more special that it obviously really mattered to him who he slept with.

Also, from experience lads you age tend to exxagerate there sexual exploits a lot so take everything they say with a pinch of salt!!

Overheal

aye from what ive heard how much sex youve had isnt always the best indicator of how well you will be in bed. My friend had 2 virgins: one she claims made her explode in 45 seconds and the other in 5 on their first times. Compared to some 'players' that probably will never get them to climax - ever.

Its true that the first time is only as special as you make it out to be. To each his own; I plan to wait.

Either way you worrying about it like this is going to come off in your attitude around girls and you'll be nervous and shy and that will only aggrivate the issue so best to stop worrying about when its going to happen and just put yourself out there.

LegacyUser

Almost all of you mates are virgins at that age most people lose it when they are at college, Its not till after you lose it you cop on it isnt a big deal that everyone makes it out to be.

You should watch South Park eps called Are You There God? It's Me, Jesus its about menstrual cycle but its the same way you mates are going on about sex.

Toots

OP, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I lost mine about a month before I turned 18, and I was one of the first of my friends to do it. I was with someone I love, and I'm so glad it happened that way. There was no pressure, and neither one of us had been with anyone else. Trust me, wait until you find someone special, it will totally be worth the wait.

Ignore what your friends are saying, teenagers (particularly boys, and I'm not being sexist here, this has been my experience growing up) talk up their experiences with sex.:rolleyes: I'd say a lot of your friends who are saying they've had sex are probably just making it up. Any who are telling the truth are probably referring to a grope fest culminating in about 15 seconds of very unsatisfying actual sex.:p

Kitsune9tails

Dudess wrote: »

What do you mean? Just interested.

I think he means, try to keep away from clingy stalker types. You know people you've slept with once and now the think they own you. He's right theres no durex for them

and to OP just relax man enjoy your time of being a virgin sacrifice its not like you can get it back.

DEmeant0r

OP: I think you need new friends. 18 is very early yet, don't worry.

JæKæ

I'm sure there's some sweaty nerds on this site that are virgins way past the 18 mark

Overheal

JæKæ wrote: »

I'm sure there's some sweaty nerds on this site that are virgins way past the 18 mark

thats just a rude way of saying plenty of us dont lose it before we get out of our teens :rolleyes: JaeKae included

Reku

Think all the replies so far have made it abundantly clear that being a virgin at 18, 19 or 27 is not a big thing, it just means that you're just sleeping with whoever is available.
You'll find at college people don't (or at least I found they didn't) tend to dwell on it, sure there'll be the odd "purity test" sent around the class list and people possibly making their scores public but other than perhaps a gentle jibe at the time people just move on and find more important things to talk about as everyone is far too busy with coursework, drinking and enjoying themselves. In secondary school there seems to be an obsession with who's hot, who's done who, how many have you slept with, etc... but you'll find that childishness gets left behind once they enter the larger social audience that is college.

If you need further convincing think of these two things:
1. If they're all sleeping with people there may well be a few of them having slept with the same person(s), if they're not using protection there may well be a few of them who have already caught something.
2. At this age I doubt they'd be sleeping together under anyone's roof with the owner's blessing, as such it's probably all happening either in uncomfortable places(due to lack of space or cold and wet, e.g. toilet or some alleyway), possibly unhygenic places (toilet again) or rushed for fear of being caught. It may also be happening at house parties because someone's parents are away and as such everyone will be rather drunk. Do you really think anyone will be getting the full pleasure out of the act in any of those scenarios?

Pye

Contrary to popular belief there is no age limit to which you should lose your virginity. Think about what it means to you. Do you want to lose it in a safe environment or do you not care? Is it really your problem that you're a virgin or is it your friends problem? It could be the fact you show their torments bother you that they keep on doing it. Sure you want to be with a beautiful girl but she's hardly going to want to be with someone so negative.

A friend of mine is still a virgin at 21. When out with a group of mates if the subject comes up he puts his foot down and doesn't give in to their jibes. He's simply not interested in getting his rocks off with some girl he doesn't know in a toilet so the lads will accept him. Saying that he's not waiting for marriage either, but he does have standards.

I think the pressure lads give to other lads is strange. It's like sex is only something you boast about to other males. Break the mould, be yourself and try to gain some confidence in yourself. Go out more, try and interact with females without the false macho act. Be yourself and don't feel you have to give in to peer pressure and lies. When you do eventually find someone keep it for yourself, it's your moment enjoy it. Lad talk is just that, talk nothing more.

Dudess

So OP, feeling any better? Take a look at this After Hours thread (despite the forum, plenty of sensible stuff is posted there too ). And check out the poll results.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055220280

AnonoBoy

Didn't lose mine until after I was 18. Never let it worry me. When it did happen it was with a very special girl, was with her for years.

Now, in my mid-twenties, I'm single and getting a huge amount of action. I keep thinking it's a practical joke as I'm no player. So, yes, people who lose their virginity later than 18 can turn out to be popular with the ladies.

Don't let it worry you. Seriously. It's not that big a deal.

wylo

OP,if its any consolation i was one of those muppets who used let on I wasnt a virgin when I was! Now I didnt go as far as taking the piss of other people but I never told anyone and I know what its like to be in your boots, just dont be surprised if some of your mates are bull****ting you.

annemarie13

hey aww dont worry about that.sure you could meet a girl whose still a virgin.you will find a girl even though it may seem like you wont right now. xxxx