Accident

rocky25

A farmer named Seamus had a car accident.



In court, the lorry company's fancy hot shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.


'Didn't you say, to the Garda at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?',
asked the solicitor.
Seamus responded, 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my
favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer
the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'
Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving
down the road....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to
establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the
Gárda on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he
is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to
simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to
the solicitor, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow,
Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just
loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was
driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a
stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one
ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and
didn't want to move.

However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in
terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a
Garda on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so
he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he
took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Garda came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and
said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the F*ck would you say?

Rabies

Rocky, can you post your jokes in the default colour please.
My eyes are bad enough with having to look at it black on black.

thanks.




yes, i know i can highlight and read it

smashey

Good one.

delly

Good good

rocky25

Rabies wrote: »

Rocky, can you post your jokes in the default colour please.
My eyes are bad enough with having to look at it black on black.

thanks.




yes, i know i can highlight and read it

Don't know you mean m8

The print is black and the background is white

what is the default colour????

Rabies

rocky25 wrote: »

Don't know you mean m8

The print is black and the background is white

what is the default colour????

Are you copying from word or something else.

The font is Tahoma and the the colour tag is black.

rocky25

To make it stand,
you wet it!

To make it wet,
you lick it!

To make it stiff,
you suck it!

To get it in,
you push it!











fcuk me,
threading a needle is hard!!

aidan_walsh

I think he means its best for everyone if you just leave the default font and colour options alone. No need to add anything new.

rocky25

I think you are all been a bit too pendantic.
Does anybody check for spelling errors.
It's like been back in school and The last time I was in school was 1970.

When I go to post something, the default font is Verdana, not Tahoma.

But if you guy's want Tahoma, I will post in tahoma.

I was there once on my hols, great place.

Tahoma
Tomato
Toe-may-toe
Potato
Put- Tayto

If a mod, check's someone for something, could the rest of the mods leave that mod to deal with it, as more than one mod is like you are all ganging up on that person.

Sam Vimes

the font isn't the problem but some people, such as myself view the forum with different styles and certain colours are hard to see so you shouldn't override the colour because by default the forum changes it to make it easy to see. All my text is white

go up to the boards.ie menu item at the top left, select change styles from the drop down and put on the black style. Then you'll see what he means about black text

rocky25

As everybody uses different colour schemes, should the text formatting button in the top left corner be on? So everybody on different colour schemes can view it.

rocky25

Text formatting is on:rolleyes:

Rabies

To see what I mean, try this.

Boards.ie-> Change Styles-> Cloud


No one is ganging up on you. I asked if you could post in the default colour and another person was explaining the reasons. Thats all.

Stabshauptmann

rocky25 wrote: »

I think you are all been a bit too pendantic.
Does anybody check for spelling errors.
It's like been back in school and The last time I was in school was 1970.

When I go to post something, the default font is Verdana, not Tahoma.

But if you guy's want Tahoma, I will post in tahoma.

I was there once on my hols, great place.

Tahoma
Tomato
Toe-may-toe
Potato
Put- Tayto

If a mod, check's someone for something, could the rest of the mods leave that mod to deal with it, as more than one mod is like you are all ganging up on that person.

do you have a victim complex? You dont accept suggestions very easily

rocky25

Kaptain Redeye wrote: »

do you have a victim complex? You dont accept suggestions very easily

A lot of different people told me there was a problem, I didn't know that there different colour schemes.

If I knew what someone was doing wrong, I would give them advice on how to sort the problem, not keep telling them they had a problem.
Eventually Forbairt and Hagar helped me out and told me exactly how to fix the problem.

When I am in the corner with one of my Boxers, if he is loosing the fight, I don't just say to him "you are loosing" I tell him what exactly he is doing wrong and how to win.

Thats twice you have critisied me tonight, If you have a problem with me I'm sure we sort it out between us.

ericl

:cool: Nearly as bad as mine.