whats going on ........

21stone

im a 27 year old male , suffer with anxiety and have done for some time

anyway its new years eve and i have no interest in going the pub or anywhere else

i suppose im depressed bout my weight etc as my name suggests , but am starting out a fresh tommorow , have a diet drawn up and journel of my excercise plans etc and taking pics everyday as motivation

anyway my friends or aquintences ( apologies for spelling ) as i only see them at weekends for pub , they dont do anything at all during the week , well they always have a group of young women around them in the pub etc max 19 years old and there all 27-28 and i find it immature the way they go on well thats my opinion anyway , there nice guys just not the type of stuff im into

my question is , i dont have any interest in going the pub , doing things

now i have been eating alot of crap so id say this might be why im depressed or whatever

i wanna know whats going on with me etc
any suggestions >>

i have probs going places because of my anxiety

skelliser

i think you first need to understand whats making you anxious and the best way to do this is to talk to someone, so i suggest maybe talking to family or friends, if thats too difficult get profesional help like a counsellor.
you should also remember you are not alone, just look around these forums especially the long term illness forum.

exercise is good because it helps to relive stress and to get fit, i get the impression
that weight is a key issue for you, which you have identified but im weary of thinkin photos of yourself everyday as realistically the change wont be that noticelbe, instead have clear goals, like this week im gonna run 1 mile, next week 2 miles etc
for this use a marker like a place so you can see how far youve covered etc.

skelliser

remember aswell not to take on too much at once
the greatest journey starts with the smallest steps

11.3 SECONDS

OP don't sweat it.

Because of your weight I would most strongly and respectfully suggest that you please see your G.P. first for a full medical before you launch into any exercise regimes. Do that this week as most surgeries are open again on Wednesday (2.1.2008). You can also take the opportunity to talk through the anxiety problem.

As skelliser rightly says counselling might be the way to go. Some people feel that there is stigma attached to that. There is no shame in it. You are half way there as you have obviously already accepted that something needs to be done and you are determined to do it.

I am not qualified to diagnose what is happening with you in relation to the cause of the anxiety. I had a good pal who developed something like a social phobia. (Please do not take it that I am saying this is you too !) He was referred for counselling and it did the trick.

Counselling itself will not solve the problem for you. Counselling will show you how to solve it as ultimately you will be the one who takes charge of the problem.

Don't worry your head about not being out on New Year's Eve as it is grossly overrated !!

Don't worry too much about photos on a daily basis as you could become self-absorbed by that ! Diaries are always a great idea to record your progress and they are a great witness to what we are thinking when we write them up. It can be quite entertaining and surprising to see what you were thinking some five years later when you look back at what you wrote !!

Please do not get down about this. You have many factors on your side and great possibilities to sort things out, an opportunity denied to some in life.

Happy New Year to you and go for it in 2008 but not too quickly !!!

21stone

cheers people

i have my own house and to be honest id like to meet a woman and maybe have something serious , i think thats where i differ from my mates , in my eyes all they want is beer and have nothing else to motivate them

i went to councellors and they dont seem to have any idea , i mean all they can tell you is that its phycological etc and what could work etc , put them in ur place and they wouldnt use there own advise , i think i need to eat properly and drink water instead of coke or sprite etc as what i do know about anxiety is it can be cause or come on by caffeine so i deen to cut that out , get healthy as i think i will become more happy bout myself and positive etc and set myself some goals not big ones but attainable ones

Wibbs

Fair play to you for setting yourself this challenge. It'll be a tough bastard, but it will be worth it. Think of every bit of temptation and pain as the old you being scraped off. Good luck with it. Maybe post a log on fitness forum. Little steps.

Kevster

Hey,

I'm 24 and have only gone to one New Year's party in my life (and I hated it). I don't go out any weekend either. In fact, I only went out once this year (2007).

I cannot but look on diets critically. I think they have such bad connotations that the word itself should be banned! If you continue to say that you are on a 'diet', it automatically means that you are restricting food that you normally enjoy eating. The trick is of course to find a right balance.

I think you would be better joining a gym and maintaining your current eating-regime. I think you will find that - over time - the foods you eat will become gradually healthier. It is not about losing weight; it is about getting fit.

Take care and have a nice night in,
Kevin.

patrickolee

Trying to get this post as close to 12 as possible. Dont worry about not going out, its grossly overrated. Just go out and dont drink sometime, u'll see how foolish it is. Dangerous too. Agree with the previous posters, change slowly and try to get fit, not lose weight. Weight is just a number.

McGinty

Hi Op

It sounds like you may have outgrown your friends which is why you don't enjoy yourself with them and maybe you are interested in doing other stuff.

As for your diet, I think adapting a healthy eating plan can really work, if you are overweight it does get you down. I joined unislim last May and lost 25lbs so far, it has come off slowy but steadily, also I have looked at why I overeat, what is going on in my head when I head for the biscuit tin/chocolate/whatever - I don't always succeed but a lot of the time it has and I've learned a lot of about myself in the last eight months. I think we overeat to stuff down our unhappiness, anger, anxiety etc, instead of letting it be and releasing it. In your food journal you could also write down feelings too. You'll be amazed when you reduced the junk stuff how great you will feel healthwise, I know I used to eat a lot of deep fried foods, crisps and that kind of stuff and now my stomach can't tolerate them, I even crave salads which is fantastic. Also I think you hit the nail on the head re: the fizzy drinks, they have no nutritional value whatsover, plus they retain fluid and don't quench your thirst. Would you consider learning some meditation or deep breathing techniques, I do yoga and it keeps me fit but also relaxs me re: anxiety. Anyhow the best of luck

Dizzyblonde

OP, it sounds as though you know what you need to do regarding the weight loss, and I agree with others, you've most likely outgrown your friends. I believe you'll lose the excess pounds and turn your life around, as one poster said take it one day at a time.
Have you asked your doctor for a referral for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy? I've heard it's great for anxiety. I'll PM you with the name of a very good book on breathing proplerly which can ease the effects of anxiety attacks.
It's the start of a new year and you have a lot of positive things in line now, even if it doesn't feel like it. It'll be hard work but it'll be worth it and I really believe you can do it.