Should I go?

Umaro

I'm 20 years old and earlier this year I spent 6 months living and studying in Sydney where I made some of the best friends of my life. For the first time ever I felt like I actually belonged somewhere, and I wasn't miserable for once in my life.

I've come back to Ireland and realised that there's nothing here for me, I live with my parents in a really isolated part of the countryside. I'm in my final year of college (UCD) and have only 5 months left until I finish my course - I hate my course and I have no friends at college. Probably had a bit too much fun in Aus and I failed 1 of my 4 subjects, so I have to repeat it this coming semester (I usually get a pretty high GPA because I have nothing else to do with my life). I'm literally grinding my teeth to finish off this degree.

Whilst I was living there I became best friends with an Aussie guy called Simon, really best friends. I could wax lyrical for pages about what good friends we are and how we stuck by each other through thick and thin and thick again. In terms of best friends - he is The One

Simon's girlfriend, Emma, contacted me recently and said that he was miserable without me and wanted to see if I'd be able come back for his 21st birthday in March, to surprise him. Turns out I have 2 weeks off in March that coincide perfectly with his birthday. I said I didn't have enough money for a ticket but she said that she'd get everyone to chip in (like 10-20 of our friends) and I said that I'd put in $300 if she could get $1300-1500.

To be honest, I didn't think she could do it. Getting money out of college students is like getting money out of... well... college students.

But she texted me yesterday and said she had got the money together. I don't know how she did it! She's amazing! We're going to book it asap

But when I told my parents today they got really pissed off and angry at me. They say I'm jeopardising my grades by going back for 2 weeks, and that I'll be reckless out there and stuff. My mum says she's disgusted with me that I'd take the money and go. They won't leave it alone, they say that I must be really selfish and have no principles to take money off my friends like this.

I don't get it at all.

Am I in the wrong to take money like this from my friends? Am I being selfish? Would you go? I miss Simon and Emma so much, I hate my life here. This whole thing is making me miserable.

JMCD

Umaro wrote: »

This whole thing is making me miserable.

Well there you go........life is short mate make the most of it now! You really dont know what is around the corner.Life is about enjoying yourself and being happy so go the sooner the better.

Best of Luck.

Sherifu

Take the money and run. Your life is yours. Live it.

chris85

Ok well the first thing o gotta say is that when you finish college just go, you are young and nothing to keep you here, so definitly go when you finish college.

As for going over in march if your parents are worried about your grades, why dont you compromise and go for a week instead and study for the other week.

The money part of it is a bit mad. Strange that they got so much together to get you over there for just a few weeks. But if you are happy to take the money than im sure they are happy to pay. They wouldnt have offered otherwise

MrJoeSoap

JMCD wrote: »

Well there you go........life is short mate make the most of it now! You really dont know what is around the corner.Life is about enjoying yourself and being happy so go the sooner the better.

Best of Luck.

rkm wrote: »

Take the money and run. Your life is yours. Live it.

Here here. Happy > Miserable every day of the week.

Riamfada

Going to Aus for two weeks in your final year is mental but if you arnt that bothered about your grades and final result... go! Party Down and all that. Personally,in the long run, i'd try and fix my life in Ireland before I run away to Austrailia. Moving out in Ireland can offer the same fun as you had in Aus. Its just you have never had it here

*i presume

homerjay2005

just go to aus, simple as that!dont even think about it. im sure ul end up there in the summer for good, so you may as well set the scene in march.

MrJoeSoap

Grimes wrote: »

Going to Aus for two weeks in your final year is mental but if you arnt that bothered about your grades and final result... go! Party Down and all that. Personally,in the long run, i'd try and fix my life in Ireland before I run away to Austrailia. Moving out in Ireland can offer the same fun as you had in Aus. Its just you have never had it here

*i presume

All good points, and worth considering. But if you knew you had a genuine best friend who was miserable and desperate to see you on the other side of the world, and that number of people were that willing to pay to fund the trip, it would be a hard opportunity to turn down.

You could always study bucketloads before you leave for Oz and when you come back.

rover84

ye scrounge, earn the money for goin over yourself.

MrJoeSoap

rover84 wrote: »

ye scrounge, earn the money for goin over yourself.

Whilst in final year in college?

rover84

yep, if he has time to heading off to oz, he has time to work for it and stop scabbing off his mates

MrJoeSoap

rover84 wrote: »

yep, if he has time to heading off to oz, he has time to work for it and stop scabbing off his mates

You seem to know the situation well so, apologies.

corcaighcailin9

OP I think you should go. In fairness you're buddies in Oz have pulled together the money and obviously really think highly of you so go back to the place where you were happy. You can bust a gut studying til you go ; look on the trip as an incentive and throw yourself into your books when you come home. Lucky you!!

PeakOutput

first of all its clearly a big deal to your mates that you are there and the fact they offered the money shows you what you mean to them etc etc so your mam is talkin threw her ass its not a scrounging thing its a helping out thing

secondly its a big deal for your mate alex especially if his girlfriend has noticed an actual change in him for the worse since your gone.

so you should definitely go

HOWEVER will going for two weeks stop you going back in the summer to live due to money etc if it does i wouldnt go if i were you and id move to aus with my degree in the summer and start living the life then. sure you will miss the 21stbut youll be there full time not just for 2 weeks.

if its a case of your going in the summer either way then defo go in march too


edit; and rover clearly dosnt understand the concept of either working your holidays or going on holidays on your holidays ignore him

edit 2; grimes makes a good point that it could just be the living away from home thats got you hooked i just moved out in september(im 22) and im having the best time of my life too and i only went as far as limerick however i can imagine a different country could multiply that by ten again. just dont burn all your bridges here if you do leave for "good"

Supercell

Umaro, you talk abut this guy as "the one", the one what??
Your also on your final year of college - Sydney is a dream, your degree is reality and will stand to you for the rest of your working life.
Get the degree, there's plenty of time after that to meet other guys/girls that you could consider to be "the one".

I agree with your parents tbh, do you think they are mad at you because of spite or because they want the best for you?...think about it.

Pythia

Go.
You have loads of time to study, just make sure you're keeping up to date with everything before you go, and work extra hard when you return. It's only two weeks.

If people gave the money without you forcing them, I see so problem with it. You can offer to pay it back at a later stage if it really bugs you.

Einstein

no doubt thats where you should go...but such a short time to finish college...stick it out...by all means go in march if you can...but I say go for it. You get one go at this life thing.

Good luck.

D

Riamfada

Divers wrote: »

You get one go at this life thing.

Exactly. Dont mess it up by following such cliches.

Axwell

If you are miserable here then the break away will do you good coming up to your exams, you just have to make sure you dont lose the run of yourself over there and then when you come back put the head down and get the results you want. Then you can always go back in the summer with your parents off your case because you got the results in the exams and put in the hard work. Id definitely go if i was you but again be prepared to try and not go too mad when you are there, as someone else said why not go for a week instead of the two weeks and study for the week when you come back.

scoot on

Go.

By the sounds of it you're intelligent. You probably have the smarts to study your ass off before you go and after you get back.

Go and enjoy yourself. If taking the money from friends is a big thing u can tell your folks that you'll pay every penny back to your friends as soon as you have your degree. I can never imagine my parents stopping me making a trip like that, don't let them make you feel guilty. It's your life, you make your own decisions.

seraphimvc

you are still young!*i mean 20/21yrs old getting a degree?!either you are so smart to get college early or doing a 2/3 yrs course.*do whatever you have a chance!

however, think about if you go for that will that affect your finals?if no,then why not,?and you have the money too!just always remember you have good friends like them for the rest of your life!*sort out for the flight ticket money tho,stated that they are willing to give it away to you*

if it is very likely to affect you,does it worth it?

good luck and get back to us for your decision OP

jimmycrackcorm

OP -it's your life.

niceirishfella

Umaro wrote: »

I'm 20 years old and earlier this year I spent 6 months living and studying in Sydney where I made some of the best friends of my life. For the first time ever I felt like I actually belonged somewhere, and I wasn't miserable for once in my life.

I've come back to Ireland and realised that there's nothing here for me, I live with my parents in a really isolated part of the countryside. I'm in my final year of college (UCD) and have only 5 months left until I finish my course - I hate my course and I have no friends at college. Probably had a bit too much fun in Aus and I failed 1 of my 4 subjects, so I have to repeat it this coming semester (I usually get a pretty high GPA because I have nothing else to do with my life). I'm literally grinding my teeth to finish off this degree.

Whilst I was living there I became best friends with an Aussie guy called Simon, really best friends. I could wax lyrical for pages about what good friends we are and how we stuck by each other through thick and thin and thick again. In terms of best friends - he is The One

Simon's girlfriend, Emma, contacted me recently and said that he was miserable without me and wanted to see if I'd be able come back for his 21st birthday in March, to surprise him. Turns out I have 2 weeks off in March that coincide perfectly with his birthday. I said I didn't have enough money for a ticket but she said that she'd get everyone to chip in (like 10-20 of our friends) and I said that I'd put in $300 if she could get $1300-1500.

To be honest, I didn't think she could do it. Getting money out of college students is like getting money out of... well... college students.

But she texted me yesterday and said she had got the money together. I don't know how she did it! She's amazing! We're going to book it asap

But when I told my parents today they got really pissed off and angry at me. They say I'm jeopardising my grades by going back for 2 weeks, and that I'll be reckless out there and stuff. My mum says she's disgusted with me that I'd take the money and go. They won't leave it alone, they say that I must be really selfish and have no principles to take money off my friends like this.

I don't get it at all.

Am I in the wrong to take money like this from my friends? Am I being selfish? Would you go? I miss Simon and Emma so much, I hate my life here. This whole thing is making me miserable.

ANSWER: GO and enjoy the one chance at life you get.
good luck!

Miss Fluff

Study as much as you can beforehand and take your 2 weeks in March. I'm intrigued by the sexual subtext however, you are a female I take it OP? Are you sure you are not just going back for Simon? And isn't Emma terribly open?

SQDD

Definately definately definately go! My parents would pure be the same about not going, but I wouldn't worry about that! The world is your oyster, get out there! Sounds lie you've made a bond with your friends over in Australia, go there for the 2 weeks and who knows, maybe you could end up going there next Summer and moving there for good!

Umaro

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I'm intrigued by the sexual subtext however, you are a female I take it OP? Are you sure you are not just going back for Simon? And isn't Emma terribly open?

I knew I should've left out the smiley in the original post - way too effeminate. No, I'm a straight guy. "The One" line was just a quirky way of saying I think we're going to be best mates for a long time.

Simon and I are just pretty close because we lived together for 6 months and got into a whole heap of adventures. And although Emma and Simon knew each other a little, I don't think they would've got together if it wasn't for the fact that I was hanging out with both of them alot.

Also, congrats to anyone that figured out that I'm planning to emigrate once I get the degree. Thank you for your help everyone, I've decided to go in March

Or at least try my best to make it happen..

Sherifu

Good stuff

ps - i never thought you were gay

JMCD

Umaro wrote: »

I've decided to go in March

Or at least try my best to make it happen..

Good man.Hope it works out for you.

Best of luck.

Stabshauptmann

Are you BBLS or BComm. Either way I dont think there much difference in the work load of the two, I was Bcomm and Im telling you a bright chap could easily miss 2 weeks. I spent the same time (2 weeks) at the same time of year (March) in Berlin and Amsterdam and came out fine (Bcomm).

As for your parents, they've got a hangup similar to many Irish ppl; if you and your friends are comfortable with the money arrangement thats all that matters.

Go for it man. Even consider moving there after you graduate. I was in Oz myself last summer, it is a great place.

Zillah

Sounds like your parents have a very traditional Irish sort of view of the world. I stress the word traditional. You deserve to suffer, you should scrimp and save for every penny etc.

Fuck 'em.

You have some fantastic friends who are willing to chip in so you can be with them. For God's sake man, how is there even a choice in this? GO.

If you're worried about exams and stuff then make sure you work extra hard before the holiday. Maybe only stay one week instead of two. Eitherway, don't let your parents guilt you into not going. Sounds like a horrible Catholic bitterness that makes them say what they're saying.

spinandscribble

i have to agree these mates are one in a million. there isnt a choice here. you go.
you're parents are trying to make you feel guilty because they probably liked having a study bug for a son and they're worried you'll mess up your future. but guess what?? its your life not theirs. go for it.