awkward purchases e.g. condoms

barclay2

I hate two things in particular. Buying condoms, and buying toilet paper when you're not buying anything else.

Condoms is the worst. You've two options. Firstly, there's going into a busy pharmacy, picking them up in front of people and handing them to someone to scan. Or you can go into a pub toilet. The first option basically involves walking up to strangers and saying "hello, please scan these so that i can wrap them onto my knob and stick it inside someone". The second runs the risk of some guy or guys going "oh look who's gettin laid tonight! Wahey!", which happens to me. I dont enjoy it.

Toilet paper is fine if you're buying loads of other stuff. But if you're only buying toilet paper, its basically like walking up to the stranger at the counter and saying " i really really need to take a dump".

Anyone else find either of these annoying? And is there anything else you hate buying?

Jimbo

Milk.
People look at you as if you have some cow fetish

MagicMarker

Never had a problem buying condoms myself. Me and the girlfriend were in boots and saw those disposable cock rings. Went up to the old lady at the counter together and paid for it, not a bother.

They're shíte by the by.

dlofnep

Just go bareback!

Nah, I do feel a little dodgy buying them. It's kind of like buying drink when you're underage..

biko

barclay2 wrote: »

Condoms is the worst. You've two options. Firstly, there's going into a busy pharmacy, picking them up in front of people and handing them to someone to scan. Or you can go into a pub toilet. The first option basically involves walking up to strangers and saying "hello, please scan these so that i can wrap them onto my knob and stick it inside someone". The second runs the risk of some guy or guys going "oh look who's gettin laid tonight! Wahey!", which happens to me. I dont enjoy it.

So? I'm like yeah, that's it! I'm getting me some pusseh tonight, how about you?!

Mossy Monk

You have a problem buying toilet paper on it's own? Heaven forbid.

You're better off going to boots or a similar well-known franchise than the smaller individual pharmacies in that case.

barclay2

biko wrote: »

So? I'm like yeah, that's it! I'm getting me some pusseh tonight, how about you?!

I know a lot of guys are fine with it. But personally im not. Firstly, odds are that im not gonna get any that night, im just buying some just in case. Secondly, for whatever reason, i dont wanna talk about it with random men that i dont know, especially if its still early and i haven't been drinkin much or whatever.

Mossy Monk

barclay2 wrote: »

Secondly, for whatever reason, i dont wanna talk about it with random men that i dont know

You have lost me here.

Jesus Wept

Apparently you can buy all manner of things on the internet, so they say.

They will arrive in typical nondescript packaging too. :cool:
There will be no symbols on the outer package instructing you how to place it on your knob and stick it inside someone.

As for bog roll, well you can order that online too, but if you order from a large supermarket you will have to answer the door
and have them hand it to you. :eek:

So I think you should just man up and admit to the world that you also have an arsehole.

5uspect

Isn't there a place in Cork that posts you condoms? Cheaper too apparently...

barclay2

Mossy Monk wrote: »

You have lost me here.

Sorry i just meant that i dont like when random guys in the toilet start cheering me on for wanting sex that night, unless im hammered.

Pherekydes

What's the big deal?

Just pop them in the trolley in SQ with the KY jelly and your wife's tampax when you're doing the weekly shopping.

anthony4335

I don't understand the issue with buying condoms , I have a couple of friends with the same problem, and usually get me to go and get them. Best thing you can do is go into a boots in another town a couple of times where no one knows you and you will soon get over the problem when you see that no one will look twice at you, and if they do f**k them better safe than sorry. As for the toilet paper issue you are on your own there. Lucky you are not female!

barclay2

Slow coach wrote: »

What's the big deal?

Just pop them in the trolley in SQ with the KY jelly and your wife's tampax when you're doing the weekly shopping.

Ah yeah that'd be different. Its when i buy them on their own that i dont like it, much like the toilet paper.

I dont think ive ever bought a porno mag, im guessing that's pretty bad though.

Santa Claus

Some of the ones you get in pub machines don't have the kite mark on them so I wouldn't be overly confident with them, plus they're more of a rip off than chemists

For good value brand name condoms, try here. 12.49 sterling for 100 condoms (durex, not some dodgy ones). EVen with delivery it works out less than 2 packs of 12 in a chemists !!!

littlebitdull

Op ... if you feel so bad why not buy something else while buying your toilet paper? Like some bread and milk, and sure you may as well pick up a packet of condoms while your there.

Cant see the problem myself.

barclay2

littlebitdull wrote: »

Op ... if you feel so bad why not buy something else while buying your toilet paper? Like some bread and milk, and sure you may as well pick up a packet of condoms while your there.

Cant see the problem myself.

Ive actually done that before. God, im such an awkward little bitch of a man.

Pigman II

barclay2 wrote: »

I hate two things in particular. Buying condoms, and buying toilet paper when you're not buying anything else.

Condoms is the worst. You've two options. Firstly, there's going into a busy pharmacy, picking them up in front of people and handing them to someone to scan. Or you can go into a pub toilet. The first option basically involves walking up to strangers and saying "hello, please scan these so that i can wrap them onto my knob and stick it inside someone". The second runs the risk of some guy or guys going "oh look who's gettin laid tonight! Wahey!", which happens to me. I dont enjoy it.

Toilet paper is fine if you're buying loads of other stuff. But if you're only buying toilet paper, its basically like walking up to the stranger at the counter and saying " i really really need to take a dump".

Anyone else find either of these annoying? And is there anything else you hate buying?

What are you, Jerry Seinfeld?

===

I sometimes feel self-concious when I'm buying carling or bavaria for underage kids at the off-licence. I try to be a classy guy so I usually throw in a bottle of Jameson for myself (even tho I don't drink) in order to not embarass myself.

LivingDeadGirl

I really don't understand the toilet paper one. . .

mikemac

I've read about some pub owner (it was probably on boards ) that had a broken condom machine.
So punters would put in their cash but it wouldn't dispense anything.

And noone ever complained so the bar owner was raking in the cash

Fremen

Heh, I think I know where you're coming from with both of these. Nice to know other people are bothered by that stuff too.

phasers

I don't like buying drink

mainly because I can't legally buy it yet

Fremen

Ugh, I hated buying drink when I was underage. I went to the states a few years ago when I was 20, and suddenly found myself underage again.

You'd think I would be used to buying booze age twenty, but it was the same crap all over again: nervously walking up to the counter, clearing your throat, not making eye contact and so on...

Nevyn

Go to a superquinn or tesco that has a self service till.

Swindon

hit smartpaddy.ie and get condoms in bulk man,they take laser too

ejmaztec

You should ask for the Value range at Tesco:cool:

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

MIN2511

I hated buying condoms or sanitary towel but then i realized there is nothing to it. They are basic necessities

Einstein

I kinda know how you feel, but it doesn't bother me at all...whatever bout the condoms, but the TP?

Personally I'm proud of the dumps I take......

L1011

Buying certain magazines off certain staff in shops gets you given the evil eye. Ranges from stuff like Nuts off an old woman through to car magazines off a Green Party member I'd suspect.

A-Trak

A home pregnancy test and 6 eggs in tesco @ 8am on a Sunday morning got me a funny look from the cashier.

L1011

Thaedydal wrote: »

Go to a superquinn or tesco that has a self service till.

The johnnies in Tesco Maynooth are stored in the same types of boxes as CDs, you need to get someone to take them out of the box for you. Hence an unfortunate situation where you need to ask the girl/guy on duty "could you unwrap my condoms for me..."

barclay2

MYOB wrote: »

The johnnies in Tesco Maynooth are stored in the same types of boxes as CDs, you need to get someone to take them out of the box for you. Hence an unfortunate situation where you need to ask the girl/guy on duty "could you unwrap my condoms for me..."

Dear Lord.

BendiBus

The-Rigger wrote: »

As for bog roll, well you can order that online too

Yeah, but if you're busting for a ****e, ordering online isn't going to help. Unless you can download it

MagicMarker

MYOB wrote: »

The johnnies in Tesco Maynooth are stored in the same types of boxes as CDs, you need to get someone to take them out of the box for you. Hence an unfortunate situation where you need to ask the girl/guy on duty "could you unwrap my condoms for me..."

I actually took one of these boxes home with me once!! Can't remember how or why, think it may have been self service. But it took about an hour to get into the fúcker!!! Using a lighter to melt the plastic and bend it back:)

Jimbo

MYOB wrote: »

Buying certain magazines off certain staff in shops gets you given the evil eye. Ranges from stuff like Nuts off an old woman through to car magazines off a Green Party member I'd suspect.

Totally agree. I always feel awkward buying FHM, especially in my home town

pid()

Try buying condoms, lube, rubber gloves, some rope and a hatchet at the same time. Now that is awkward.

Jesus Wept

BendiBus wrote: »

Yeah, but if you're busting for a ****e, ordering online isn't going to help. Unless you can download it

Ok, I thought it went without saying but here goes:

Stock up, don't order 1 condom at a time online.

Happy fúcking.

Jimbo

If you need to order toilet paper online, youve got some issues

marcsignal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZVRb24Xvk

Naikon

jimbo78 wrote: »

If you need to order toilet paper online, youve got some issues

Rag on a stick ftw!

Jimbo

I just use a wet towel
Save the forests and all that...

IRLConor

BendiBus wrote: »

Yeah, but if you're busting for a ****e, ordering online isn't going to help. Unless you can download it

You can. As a public service, I've attached some downloadable bogroll.

Simply download it and print out as many sheets as you need. Careful with the edges, they can cut if you don't take care.

Jimbo

Or try this

Plug

Mossy Monk wrote: »

You have a problem buying toilet paper on it's own? Heaven forbid.

He has a scat fetish:eek:

Susannahmia

barclay2 wrote: »

I hate two things in particular. Buying condoms, and buying toilet paper when you're not buying anything else.

Condoms is the worst. You've two options. Firstly, there's going into a busy pharmacy, picking them up in front of people and handing them to someone to scan. Or you can go into a pub toilet. The first option basically involves walking up to strangers and saying "hello, please scan these so that i can wrap them onto my knob and stick it inside someone". The second runs the risk of some guy or guys going "oh look who's gettin laid tonight! Wahey!", which happens to me. I dont enjoy it.

Toilet paper is fine if you're buying loads of other stuff. But if you're only buying toilet paper, its basically like walking up to the stranger at the counter and saying " i really really need to take a dump".

Anyone else find either of these annoying? And is there anything else you hate buying?

Meh, I don't feel awkward buying either of those. The only times I was ever embarrassed buying something were when I had to get the morning after pill and another time, a pregnancy test.

DanGerMus

MagicMarker wrote: »

Never had a problem buying condoms myself. Me and the girlfriend were in boots and saw those disposable cock rings. Went up to the old lady at the counter together and paid for it, not a bother.

They're shíte by the by.

+1 for that

I love goin in and buying the big 40 packs every couple of days makes the cute girl behind the counter blush.....

PS anyone need some condoms...?

Toots

Swindon wrote: »

hit smartpaddy.ie and get condoms in bulk man,they take laser too

Yup, 100 durex for 35 quid, can't go wrong!:D:D:cool:

U should write to SmartPaddy and ask them to start a bogroll range!

Ghost Train

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyhlnL0AbmI

Genghiz Cohen

Heh, someone needs to buy the cheepo condoms out of Lidl or Aldi, and nothing else. Tell me how it works out (I lack the stones, time and GF that would require me to buy such products).