Oh Oh Santa

Hagar

Christmas is postponed this year after Santa was taken into custody by Imperial Stormtroopers.

He was accused of breaking and entering in a house in Dublin via the chimney.
When questioned he asked for 786,441,629 similar offences to be taken into consideration.

Hagar

Santa Claus has been arrested under the USA Patriot Act after people reported a heavily bearded man seen flying last night around the rooftops of Washington DC suburban neighbourhoods, 3 miles from the White House.

He is currently being held at an undisclosed maximum security detention centre somewhere in Washington, until his nationality is verified. Unconfirmed reports suggest, he is being charged for several offences, including: flying an unlicensed craft and without a permit in American airspace, promoting religious fanaticism through festival symbolism, mass hysteria, and bribery of minors. It is believed, he will soon be transferred to Guantanamo Bay for further processing.

The United States Customs and Border Protection (USCBP) and the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) have also brought charges against Santa Claus.

USCBP is charging him for evading the importation tax law, by failing to declare goods allegedly claimed as 'gifts'. USDA has referred to the endangered species act and charged him with illegal trafficking of protected animals (reindeer).

To add more woes to his calamities, The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) are suing him for cruelty to the reindeer by forcing wingless animals to fly.

The American Psychiatric Association are also claiming for damages for the devastating effect his capture will have on their patients, many of whom are being treated because they believe in the, until now, assumed fictional man. It is believed, this incident will completely wipe out the Psychiatry profession.

Hagar

This one is true.

The Derry Journal wrote:

Despite being so busy in the run-up to Christmas, Santa and some of his helpers took time out recently to support the fundraising efforts of Foyle Rowing Club members who pushed a boat around Inishowen to raise money for Carndonagh Community Hospital and to purchase a safety boat for the club.
Everything was going well until the fundraisers reached Muff and stopped to collect donations from generous motorists. Mrs Claus and one of her little helpers was warned by a Garda that she would be arrested for slowing down the traffic if she continued to collect money from cars and rather than risk having to be bailed out on Christmas Eve, Santa and his helpers had to beat a hasty retreat. Jed is happy to report that Santa will after all be available to deliver presents this Christmas and the fundraisers would like to thank everyone who contributed to this worthy cause and helped raise a grant total of 1,500 euro.

mickrourke

Hagar wrote: »

Everything was going well until the fundraisers reached Muff.

**Snigger**
Yeah, that always happens to me too

rocky25

Santa almost arrested???

Serves him right for going Muff diving :eek: with The Foyle Rowing Club.
I went rowing with them once and got arrested for breach of the peace:rolleyes:

old boy

the fecker should have been done away with when i was 9

Fratton Fred

mickrourke wrote: »

**Snigger**
Yeah, that always happens to me too

it is the polite thing to do;)