Ah Chicken !

dak

A SUNDAY league football team is so desperate for players that one Sunday they are forced to play with a chicken in their team. Surprisingly, the chicken has a brilliant first half. One minute it's clearing off its own line, the next putting in a perfect cross.At half time all the team mates are very pleased and everyone runs back onto the pitch for the second half.On the way the ref starts chatting to the chicken. `Great first half mate.'Thanks,' replies the chicken, `I try to keep myself fit. It's difficult finding time, but I do an hour in the gym each morning before work.`What do you do?' asks the ref.`I'm a chartered accountant,' comes the reply. At which point the referee brandishes the red card and sends the chicken off. The bemused team mates gather round and start complaining to the referee.`Sorry lads, says the referee, `I had no choice.

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Professional fowl.'

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Rural Irish courthouse, usual Thursday morning session.
Local yob up on D and D charge, slouched beside his solicitor and yob is noisily chewing gum
Highly irritated judge beckons to court clerk, whispers in his shell-like.
"Tell the defendant to stop masticating"
Court clerk goes down to yob and says:
His honour says to take yer hand out of yer trouser pocket RIGHT NOW, yeh dirty little bo!!ix"

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rocky25

Good un,