Try again

gharood

I made an unregistered post that i cna't find now

Anyway
Hi there,

I'm a single guy who's gone back to do a 2nd degree in uni after working for a few years, i'm 26.
I met this girl in my class who's 20, almost 21 (has her own house etc).
and it's kinda complicated.
We exchanged numbers etc with a view to meeting up for study and stuff, and we've been talking over txt and met up loads of time in the library etc over the last few weeks.

Anytime we meet together we have a laugh and stuff and she's kinda touchy feely, like tickling me and all that, but she seems to be less shy when texting. Anyway she texts me every now and then asking how i am and stuff, but we never actually went out or anything like that.

We finished for the year before exams there last week and i met her in UNI the last night of the year and that was that, then the usual i got a text saying something like "i'm not gonna see you for ages now ".

So i suggested we meet up for a few drinks and a bit of a laugh soon and she agreed for this week sometime.
now i was out the other night and she was out on a staff night thing, and she text me asking if i was working (i work in a local bar), and i said no i was out and she came over and gave me a hug and when she went she said bye and left her arm kinda trailing across my stomach, but not in the cheesy kinda way, we kinda jokingly complain alot in texts that we never hug eachother, and when we do meet i think we're both a bit to shy to but we did this night,

I'm just kinda confused, i don't know if she just wants to be friends (which i'm fine with ofc) or not? she's gorgeous and she hangs around with alot of kinda fashion'y people, and some of her best mates go out with kinda trendy footballer types. I'm not a bad looking guy but i'm more of a converse, jeans kinda bloke...

Lastly, she came in where i worked the other night and she was a bit distant, and she seemed to be with a guy, i played it cool ofc, and text her the next day asking why she was all weird and she said a member of her family had died, and that that wasn't her boyfriend she was with...

erm, i dunno what i'm asking really, it's just i wish i knew whether it was a friendship thing or not so i knew how to act, i'm not really looking for a girlfriend or anything atm as i don't think i really have time, but this girl has kinda got into my head a bit i suppose

i'll just add lastly that i've heard that she recently broke up with a long term boyfriend, and i've indirectly asked her twice if she had a boyfriend now and got no real answer.

So to sum it up, do you reckon she likes me or maybe just thinks i'm a good laugh? i know it all sounds a bit juvenile, but i'm usually pretty good with girls, but i seem to be a it stuck with the signs here!

Cathmandooo

Sounds like she likes you, she has given you loads of signs:-

* she initiates texts asking how you are
* she tells you she wants to hug you
* her hand lingered after you seperated hugging
* she visits you in work (although I'm unclear if you meant that)

Ask her out on a date, apart from her asking you out I don't think you can get more signs from her :rolleyes:

nialo

As Cathooo said she seems to be into you. What have you to lose, ask her out. dont over complicate things or over think it any more.

gharood

ok i think i wrote in it that she said we wouldn't see eachother for ages so i suggested we go for a drink and she said yes, now maybe i didn't word it correctly to her, but i didn't ask her out on a date like,

anyway she does text me sometimes etc, i suppose i havn't heard from her since th day before yesterday (that was the night we had a hug),

I can't ask her out on a date now because we're already supposed to be meeting up for a few drinks, i think i kinda need to know what way to approach this when we meet up you see

Overheal

either way your relationship is at a point where you can ask her out: you wouldnt be ruining anything if you tried.

cowzerp

gharood wrote: »

I can't ask her out on a date now because we're already supposed to be meeting up for a few drinks, i think i kinda need to know what way to approach this when we meet up you see

Simple, text her and ask her cheekily if its a date? cheesy but trouble free!

coolabuala

your a single guy in you 20's, RELAX....

dont get caught up in things so much, im nearly 24 now and so much has happened myself that when I look back at being 20, it makes me laugh, live it large!!!!

chunky.monkey

Go and bring some mistletoe with you seen as its crimbo.
The kiss will let you know very quick

Cathmandooo

gharood wrote: »

I can't ask her out on a date now because we're already supposed to be meeting up for a few drinks, i think i kinda need to know what way to approach this when we meet up you see

You do seem confused, on re-reading your first post I noticed you said you've no time for a girlfriend at the moment. I'm afriad you've to make a decision about this before moving on. There's never a right time, you dont wake up one day and say 'today I can make room for a girlfriend', it's just generally something that happens if you're lucky enough.

Meet her for those drinks then and see what happens. If she's touchy feely, tickling or hugging you then make some kind of move, even if it's just that you hold her hand. If she's comfortable with that then by the end of the night invite her out for dinner or better yet just be completely straight with her and tell her you like her and would like to take her out on a date. That way you will hopefully get a straight answer and all confusion should disappear. Bite the bullet and stop over analysing things. Life's short enough!

gharood

cowzerp, cheers. although i popped her a text yesterday and she hasn't replied so i'll wait till she does, sounds like it's a good idea!!

i don't mind what way it goes really, she's lovely so even if she does have a boyfriend it'd be cool to hang out with her as she's a good laugh

Lollipops23

Certainly sounds like she's into you,although she may be a bit apprehensive if she has only just got out of a relationship.But if she doesn't want anything she is guilty of sending some seriously mixed signals!!being touchy feely is the most typical sign of flirting out there,and she does seem to go otu of her way to see you. When is this drink going to be?

Miss Fluff

Trust me OP, she is well into you. Now go forth and prosper:p

Lola123

chunky.monkey wrote: »

Go and bring some mistletoe with you seen as its crimbo.
The kiss will let you know very quick

+1
You should wait and see how the evening is progressing and then whip out the mistletoe. V. romantic but not soppy. She'll love it.

biko

gharood wrote: »

we're already supposed to be meeting up for a few drinks, i think i kinda need to know what way to approach this when we meet up you see

During the drinks when good say "I really have a good time with you and I hope that when I see you again next year we can do a lot more stuff together". Lock eyes. Lean in and kiss her. Make sure you are close enough so you don't have to shift yourself to do this.

If you do start leaning in, do NOT stop. It's better to be forward and give her a kiss than seem like a scaredycat and stop halfway in.

Timid guys never gets to kiss beautiful girls.

gharood

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Certainly sounds like she's into you,although she may be a bit apprehensive if she has only just got out of a relationship.But if she doesn't want anything she is guilty of sending some seriously mixed signals!!being touchy feely is the most typical sign of flirting out there,and she does seem to go otu of her way to see you. When is this drink going to be?

well we arranged for some time this week, so when she gets back to me maybe thursday or something.

i'm trying to think of any discrepencies that might give you some different opinions... none really apart from the fact that she is less shy when texting then in person. she doesn't really go out of her way as i started in this bar a couple of weeks ago and she's only been in twice, both in the last week.

i think when i think about stuff i get a bit confused, but once i meet up with her i'm cool again you know?

and to the other poster, just with work and uni and stuff i mean i'm to busy to have a girlfriend again i think, and anyway, it's probably nothing with her so i will stop thinking about that part of it for now, kinda scares me

LegacyUser

I would be apprehensive aswell if she's just out of a relationship but sometimes ya have to bite the bullet and go for it, I had a recent situation with somethin similar goin on, im 27, my (now) Gf is 20, I was very apprehensive at first, mainly due to the age difference, but it practically got to the point where my mates were like "can you not see she's mad bout ya man?"
- They copped it quicker than I did!

I honestly couldnt see the wood from the trees, and just presumed that this chick was waaaay outta my league (absolutely stunning and cool to boot), so I had a chat with a close female mate and she gave me the confidence kick I needed to set a date to ask her n go for it, put it this way, I never even asked a girl out in my life (they all came to me!) and im 27, ive been in 3 long term relationships since I was 17 til 26, so I did, and here I am, bout 2 months later, happy as larry, all is goin well....

Go for it Buddy and best of luck!

Da Dawg

MojoMaker

What country is all this happening in as a matter of interest?

gharood

Lola123 wrote: »

+1
You should wait and see how the evening is progressing and then whip out the mistletoe. V. romantic but not soppy. She'll love it.

rofl, i just imagined the "Whip out the misstletoe" part as like in a comedy where you hear that swooping sound, like in Scrubs haha,

i dunno, lets see if we do actually meet up first!

gharood

MojoMaker wrote: »

What country is all this happening in as a matter of interest?

country?? if you mean county or city it's dublin

cowzerp

Lola123 wrote: »

+1
You should wait and see how the evening is progressing and then whip out the mistletoe. V. romantic but not soppy. She'll love it.

i think you meant soppy and not v romantic, lol

gharood

Da_Big_Dawg wrote: »

I would be apprehensive aswell if she's just out of a relationship but sometimes ya have to bite the bullet and go for it, I had a recent situation with somethin similar goin on, im 27, my (now) Gf is 20, I was very apprehensive at first, mainly due to the age difference, but it practically got to the point where my mates were like "can you not see she's mad bout ya man?"
- They copped it quicker than I did!

I honestly couldnt see the wood from the trees, and just presumed that this chick was waaaay outta my league (absolutely stunning and cool to boot), so I had a chat with a close female mate and she gave me the confidence kick I needed to set a date to ask her n go for it, put it this way, I never even asked a girl out in my life (they all came to me!) and im 27, ive been in 3 long term relationships since I was 17 til 26, so I did, and here I am, bout 2 months later, happy as larry, all is goin well....

Go for it Buddy and best of luck!

Da Dawg

well thats a very similar situation, she's 20 i'm 26, we're diofferent in a way that she is stunning like, a mate of mine actually pointed her out before i saw she was out one night and said she was unreal, (although thats not the reason i think i am interestedin her) as i didn't see it straight away. and she's sound aswell, so i dunno, i think if we do meet up and go for a drink i'll say something to her but not act to differently, she obviously likes who i am so i'll stick with that!

gharood

ok a bit of an update,
we're not meeting up for drinks now. she's working all the hours under the sun (till 9 etc coming up to christamas) and i'm on the weekend, i mentioned going out again and she didn't answer. i kinda made a comment "i won't see you for ages now! and she said something like "yes you we'll i'll be going in studying for exams and you're coming with me!", so it seems as though her interest is only a friendship thing, oh well! thanks for all the help comments guys

J