22 and all at sea

nah_biy!

This is gonna be a semi long read and semi sob story of me feeling bad for myself, so as such I'm particularly not looking for any patronising answers or comments, just maybe the views of other people from the outside looking in.

Ok so here's me from the outset (I think it helps in the bigger picture)

I'm a genuinely intelligent guy but with serious motivation problems. After a lack lustre leaving cert of 400 points (which was in truth about 125 short of what I felt I could achieve) I went to UCC in 2004, I dropped out after 1st year, took a year out, and then went to CIT, after first year I had 3 repeat exams, bombed on one and I've come back to repeat a subject. All this is computer based, I thought it was my direction? At this stage however I'm thinking am I a college person? The obvious answer being no.

So I've brains to waste, and thats not being cocky, I've a fine command of the english language and I'm naturally intelligent but I know I'm squandering it all away due to a lack of application. My parents and I have become closer in the last week as a result of a particular incident, very serious but not relevant in the context of the bigger picture, suffice to say I've moved back in home and settling in nicely. They have been the people to suggest that maybe college isn't for me, and to do as my father did, graft and make what you can of it. He was lucky he's turned a stores job into a director's role in a reputable refrigeration company and earns a salary the envy of many.

As it stands I now live at home and I've been in love with the most amazing girl in the world for a year or so, good times! My life is a shade messy though. Aside from the herself, one or two friends and my family I feel a bit lonely, but its something I can deal with. Its where I go from here, do I take the concious effort to step away from college, look at what I'm good at, get a 9-5 job and get stuck in on the harder ladder ie. from the bottom up as apposed to college's mid way platform.

I know this is a fairly poorly written thread and I'm expecting a backlash for even starting it, I just think some one outside of my family and social circle could maybe gimme a hand here. I really don't know what to do in my life, I have the support of family, friends and the amazing missus irrespective.

I know I'm great at sales because I've a history in it, if only part time, but I feel that wastes intelligence (not to knock that field), journalism has always interested me, but that implies back to dredded college, and also law has my eye. I'm not afraid to get a job in the field of interest 9-5, adn give night school a shot, but can anyone relate at all? Its just, well, its a mess, but I hope can be salvaged.

Regards to those who listened,
Graham

passive

"I'm naturally intelligent but I know I'm squandering it all away due to a lack of application"

That I really feel... No matter how many "DO SOMETHING" post-its I stick on my wall/face, I still do the bare minimum, don't write enough, try enough, study enough and generally waste myself... Really trying to break out of that but I suppose the very circumstances in which I'm writing to you highlight my failure to do so... (lecture in 8 hours, homework beside me, browsing boards/refreshing facebookbebo****e)

I moved to France though, in an attempt to figure myself out a bit and gain some life experience... My suggestion, given how lost you feel yet how young you are, would be to work for a few months to save up some money then travel for a while, maybe with the girlfriend if that's possible with her life/aims? Europe, maybe, to start out small . *shrug* You'll possibly gain some fresh perspective or just find whatever it is we need to motivate us and drive you to make better use of your time...

Actually I probably amn't qualified to give advice... em... join a club or society...

nah_biy!

Hehe no one is qualified to answer life's questions, and the more I think about it, I feel those with that "piece of paper" third level qualifications can be more distant from life itself ad certainly much of the hustle and bustle.

As regards travel, I have the bug in a huge way, and I'm taking my girlfriend to Prague over Valentines for her Christmas present, I know Prague's like a trip to Killarney these days but we've both travelled extensively throughout Europe and N America but never together so thats something to look forward if even brief.

I think the event which happened last week, while irrelevant to my position in life, has brought me infinately closer to my parents, and has brought my girlfriend closer to them too, so they've really cracked out some outstanding life advice and its reassuring to know they dont expect their son to become a shining success in the field of bolloxology from any particular college but to be happy, while at the same time for sure they want to see me make a go at life.

I will definately for the first time evr make a new years resolution, what exactly I don't know but it will have a strong baring on the rest of my life, visa vie work and education. I'm just a shade disappointed third level education doesn't appear to be for me, I know I could do it if I had just that bit more motivation

davyjose

Listen I'm just going to tell you it the way I see it - having been where you are a few years ago.
Telling yourself you are squandering whatever brains you have, is really just a BS excuse to be lazy. At some point in your life you are going to have to choose a path and stick to it. There will be times when that will take a lot of effort and sacrifice (is that the problem, or is it really just that you don't like college?), and there will be times when you feel an immense amount of satisfaction and self-worth.
IMO you should fire ahead in college with something you enjoy (Journalism would be a COMPLETE different kettle of fish to computing). But you have to make it stick. You can't just pull out because you feel like some sort of meandering bohemian - well you can, but then you end up writing on boards because you're back at the start when you know full well you should be on course to something really great!
And it's worth remembering that sometimes the right path is not always the easiest one.

K_P

I can sympathise OP. My college days are behind me at this stage. I stuck with it, got my qualifications but as the years went on found I had no motivation whatsoever for any kind of study. The subjects interested me, and I loved the whole college life. But I couldn't find the motivation to do a thing. Looking back on it now, the 4 years were basically an extended adolesence with a fairly worthless degree to show for it at the end.

Onto your situation, I think a massive help is the fact that you have your parents and girlfriend behind you. I knew of so many people who utterly hated what they were studying but stayed because of parental pressure. So you're lucky in that respect.

The only bit of your post I'd have a problem with is when you say a sales job would be a waste of intelligence. So what are you going to do? Lock yourself in a room doing calculus for the rest of your life? There's a lot more to intelligence than a 500 point Leaving Cert. Look at your father. I very much doubt he worked his way up to a director's position through sheer luck.

My advice to you would be to leave. You're not happy in college, it won't cause major hassle with your family and girlfriend if you drop out. Travel for a while or work for a few years. Do some volunteer work. Do as many things as you can to get a feel for what you really want to do with your life. If in a couple of years time you decide you want to give college another shot, there's nothing to stop you. However you may find out dropping out was the best thing you ever did.

How Strange

The way I see it you are alittle lost in terms of a life plan. That's normal enough as far as I can see, most people are until something falls into place for them. But its also my experience that things don't fall into place by sheer luck, they happen through association. You take a job doing x, progress into y and decide that z is really what you want to do.

You are from the generation that has had everything handed to them without much effort. College is commonplace now and is seen as a natural progression of your education. 10/15 years ago if someone wanted to go to college then the parents had to scrape fees together and it was even worse if two or more from the same family wanted to go at the same time. I'm not saying we were any more diligent or hardworking but getting to college was a big deal.

You also say that you feel someone should help you get on the ladder. Why the hell do you think that? You are a 22yr old feckless guy who hasn't a clue what he wants to do, he can't stick to a college course and he thinks he is too 'intelligent' for alot of jobs. You want to do something like journalism but without the graft.

You are probably spoiled rotten and have been indulged and mollycoddled all your life and now its time to get out into the big bad world and start working. And that means a minimum wage, meaningless, mundane job. From there you will progress over a few years to a slightly better job. That's the way it goes, especially if you can't be bothered sticking to a college course and getting a degree in bolloxology as you call it.

Your career prospects are definitely better if you go to college but that's not to say that you can't achieve the same if you don't have a degree. That's probably one of the best things about Ireland - hardwork is recognised as being equivalent to a college degree.

You say you admire your dad for what he has achieved. Do you think he did that by assuming some jobs were beneath him and wasted his intelligence? I doubt it. He probably went to work every day and did whatever had to be done no matter how boring or mundane it was.

Essentially my point is this; stop being a spoiled brat thinking the world owes you something. Make your mind up - stick with college or leave. If you leave then go and apply for the entry level jobs like everyone else and work your way up. That's how it goes.

Drift

Hey OP. At the moment you're lazy. Simple as that. There could be any number of reasons WHY you're lazy but it doesn't matter because there is only one solution - HARD WORK.

In some cases certain people aren't cut out for college. The lack of a firm regimentation doesn't suit them or they don't like the course they thought they'd like. If you have the intelligence you say you do then the first shouldn't be you. The second is a possibility but from what you've written I think its unlikely. I think you've three options:

1. Give up being lazy and WORK HARD at your current college course. Get your degree and start you're working life 2 steps up the ladder from where you would have started without a degree.
2. Pick a new college course and WORK HARD at it. Get your degree and start you're working life 2 steps up the ladder from where you would have started without a degree.
3. Pick a job slightly lower down the ladder WORK HARD at it and in a year or two, possibly less time than it would take to finish college, you'll be at the same level as a college graduate.

As you can see all of these options have one thing in common. Hard work. At the moment I think you're being lazy because it's easier than putting in some hard graft. But I think you'll find the rewards of putting in the effort will be well worth it if you try.

I know this might sound harsh OP but I'm not trying to be down on you. I think you're intelligent which is why you've been able to get by without putting in the same level of effort as other people have had to. Now I think the time has come where you have to put in hard work to get on in life and you're just having trouble getting to grips with that. Take the christmas to chose a path; stick to it and work hard at it for a few years (not just one). You can then reasses things 2 or 3 years down the line and decide if the hard work you put in has been worthwhile. If not then its time for something different. You won't be able to tell that until you've given it your all. Can you honestly say you've given either of your two college courses all the effort of which you're capable? You have no right to say they're not for you if you haven't.

syklops

OP, I think your secondary school has mislead you regarding college. Very few people come out of college and go straight into a middle level job. Some people think if they do a masters, they will, and so go back in for another 4 years, then come out, and unless they are in the top 10% of their class find them selves back where they were 4 years previously. Some decide a doctorate would be their golden handshake, and do another 4 years, and then they find they are 30 and no industry experience, and are up to their eyes in debt. Few employers will give you job if you have little or no experience, regardless of the number of letters after your name.

I too have a good command of english, and am generally intelligent, but I never went to college. Dont know how many points I got because I never added them up. I did a one year hands on PC repair course, ran a pc repair business for 2 years, did a stint in Tech Support, and now have my dream job with a decent salary. Some of my friends who were in my class, and have just finished college, are having the problems getting a job I had when I was 19. They have no experience, and are not sure what they want to do, and think the piece of paper is their ticket to glory. Many of them are applying for jobs which are looking for 4 years industry experience and they think their degree equates to that. Others are aiming too low. One girl I know has a Bsc in Science, and is working in a book shop.

My advice: What is your dream job, what do you want to do? Forget about what people tell you, ask yourself what you would like to do. You said it was a computer related course. Do you want to be a programmer? Do you want to be a Sys Admin? If you want a technical job think about doing a Cisco certificate, an MCP, or Linux Professional exam.

In the meantime get a job. Any job, but dont expect to walk into what you want to do. You will probably end up in Tech Support, but dont spend more than a year in Support. Do some courses, and do some projects in your spare time. If you like writing code, join an open source developement project, and send them some code. Remember to put this stuff on your CV. It will show you are willing to work, that your able and can get things done. If you want to be a network engineer/sys admin, find a company/individual which installs networks and volunteer as a cable monkey for a few days when they have a big job on. With in a few months, you will get tons of experience, you will have lots of little items for the CV, and can start working towards where you want to be.

If you dont want to do IT, decide what you do want to do. Figure out what you love doing, and what you want to do for the rest of your life. If you do want IT, feel free to PM me for more help/ideas.

Before I get flamed, I am not saying college is a waste of time, I am just saying it does not suit everyone. I think if you barely got into college, you should rethink it before you go. The 2 main reasons people struggle both in Secondary School, and college is either A, they do not work hard enough, or B, they do work hard enough but dont get the results. These are 2 good reasons not to go. Secondary schools and college have a brain washing scheme going from 4th, that if you dont get into college you will end up working in dunnes and thats it. When my principal was giving the talks on points and colleges etc. He asked who was not going to college. When I put up my hand, he said, "fine, well you can go be a truck driver or something, and tune out for the next hour."

nah_biy!

Listen lads cheers for all the advice and genuinely there are perils of wisdom in each post. I must apologise if I came across as sounding somewhat elitest or something, with "oh job x is beneath me" I didn't mean to suggest I deserve better I know and realise its about getting down and dirty and doing the work, I just always hoped I could apply what I have in a relevant field, but hey, I've been given some really good advice here folks and genuinely thanks to all.

If anyone gives a toss I might give this an almighty 6 month *bump* of update, just to show where I ended up, again cheers, and if anyone else has any suggestions keep them flooding in ie. don't lock mod

Cheers,
Graham

LegacyUser

Sales jobs wastes intelligence? Alot of sales jobs nowadays aren't obtainable without a degree. I work in sales with a great quality of life, excellent salary, good hours and shiny new car.

Wake up to the real world you spoilt brat and stop looking down your nose at jobs you know nothing about. Everybody has to start somewhere, and to be honest, you can't be that smart if you managed to fail repeat exams in an IT.

Perhaps you should work on your emotional intellignece and grow up...you'll get nowhere in this world with your jumped up little boy naive narrowminded opinions.

Apologies but people like you get on my nerves, faffing thru life, probably inevitably claiming welfare, which us the taxpayers pay for, simply cos you're lazy.

Get off your rearend and do something with your life, you can wax lyrical about it til kingdom come, but at the end of the day actions speak louder than words.

davyjose

nah_biy! wrote: »

Listen lads cheers for all the advice and genuinely there are perils of wisdom in each post. I must apologise if I came across as sounding somewhat elitest or something, with "oh job x is beneath me" I didn't mean to suggest I deserve better I know and realise its about getting down and dirty and doing the work, I just always hoped I could apply what I have in a relevant field, but hey, I've been given some really good advice here folks and genuinely thanks to all.

Op, that's why people go to college!!!

Dudess

Don't worry Graham. You're just going through something extremely normal - been there. I would say you should go to college in a couple of years but right now it doesn't suit. Very same for me - dropped out at 20, went back at 23, loved it, got as far as masters level. So maybe look into getting a job and working until autumn 2009. At that stage you'll have got a taste of the workaday world and you may be sick of it and want nothing but to go back to college. You will be 24 then - seems too old now, believe me it most certainly is not. It would be a waste not to use your brains but there's no point doing it when you're not pushed - you'll only get a mediocre degree. Use the time until autumn 2009 to save money, maybe get a car and pay it of... and above all to think about what you want to do with your life and all the necessary investigating required. Don't be afraid of college - it's not the enemy, there is so much support and leeway there, believe me (went to UCC too).
Coláiste Stiofáin Naofa has a good media production course if you're interested in journalism - print or broadcast? And what type of journalism - news? Sport? There's always plenty of work in sports journalism.

You're only 22 - believe me, all is not lost.

How Strange

OP, you are full of the arrogance/over confidence typical of your generation who got everything they wanted handed to them. IMO, this means nothing has a value as it's easily got.

College can be alot of things, it can be fun, interested, stimulating or boring as hell depending on your level of engagement.

You have feck all experience at the moment so you can't apply what you know to anything. Go for jobs, take one of the first you are offered. Stick at it even if you hate it and when the time is right move on to another one which may be marginally better paid and less boring. Then reconsider college - there are so many options for 3rd level education available. It doesn't matter if you go full time, part time or by distance learning. Getting that qualification on your cv will be the most important thing.

Does it make any difference? Yes and no. It may open a door to a new career that wouldn't be open to you otherwise without solid experience. Employers are willing to take risks on graduates.

Jack B. Badd

nah_biy! wrote: »

So I've brains to waste, and thats not being cocky, I've a fine command of the english language and I'm naturally intelligent but I know I'm squandering it all away due to a lack of application.

There are different types of intelligence, and common sense and the ability to apply oneself are often more important than academic intelligence (which is what I assume the above refers to). If you can't focus yourself and make reasonable life decisions then all the "brains" in the world won't help you make something of yourself.
Perhaps a visit to a guidance counsellor would help focus you and point you in the right direction.

Mulan

you can't be that smart if you managed to fail repeat exams in an IT.

Are exams more difficult at UCC than an CIT?
Funny, I attended both and found the exams equally challanging.

Is the IT vs UC still being argued.
BOring

Mulan

Sorry, that post was for unreg-742

stratospheres

OP I've been a lot like you in the past year or so but it really is about getting down to it!
Do something, anything at all until you think about what you really want!
I guess we've been lucky in that we come from a generation where we've pretty much had it easy...and we take that for granted a lot.

Oh and 400 points being "lackustre"? Thanks ;)