lonely and wanna vent

LegacyUser

I know im not the only person this has happened to, and to be honest there is nothing particularly special about my story that warrants any more attention than the next. Im a 27 y/o guy who broke up with his long term gf at the end of September. It was a distance thing, and I felt at the time i was constantly going to be 2nd priority to her. I was making a lot of effort and felt it was fairest to both of us to go our separate ways. I will always love her. Just it didnt work if that makes sense.
Here is the thing ... i was doing ok till last saturday at the christmas party with work, then all these christmas songs like 'alli want for christmas balh balh' came on. Feck, thought i was doing great and this was like a knife to gut. Has me feeling really lonely again all of a sudden and all because of a song! I mean , im not a sop but since the breakup i feel completely at odds with the world and the dating scene like i just do not fit in. I'm told that im considered very good looking (that sounds arrogant... my friends words, certainly not mine). I do get attention but i dont know what to do with it. I dont know how to initiate a kiss with any other girl let alone anything beyond that. Its kinda weird, but when you have been with somebody for so long where it meant something every time you kissed its kinda hard to go back to the piece of meat thing that goes on in clubs and that.
I feel a bit better for having vented. Sorry needed to clear the head. Spose I'm just lonely and its difficult when all your friends are happily coupled up etc...
By the way im not sitting on my tod feeling sorry for myself. I've actively been going out joining clubs etc.. and trying to get out and meet peopel. Just i spose im frustrated at myself that i cant get back in the game and prob just this time of year.

How Strange

OP, its just that time of year. Once the next week is over with you'll be back to how you were feeling before.

the_syco

Dude, New Years Eve party. Get smashed, have a good time, and chat up some young one.

dlofnep

Preach on brother! Vent it all. You were probably so dependant on the company of your ex, you're now in a boggle what to do with yourself. It's only been a few months. Don't get discouraged and hopefully you'll meet someone over the holidays. Get out there and make a case for yourself! Sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself will only send you into depression.

biko

Social feelings get stronger around Christmas because it's such a family/friends oriented thing. Loneliness, depression, feelings of loss, financial burdens, family conflicts, and alcohol abuse can intensify during the holidays.

Celebrate with the people who make you feel positive and hopeful. Recognise it's just a 2 week period. Start planning now for fun things you want to do next year, it'll take your mind off things.

Robert

Its tough at Christmas

CoffeeAndTV

OP - I'm in a similar situation. Broke up with longish term gf in August due to distance and feeling like I constantly came second.

My advice (which I'm trying to take myself!) is spend lots of time with your mates. Move on if it comes along - don't go looking for it and don't feel down if it doesn't happen. Whatever you do, don't make contact with your ex - push her out of your mind totally. She wasn't right for you clearly. If she had been then she would have fought to keep the relationship going.

All in all, you have to become happy with your own company before you can welcome another person into your life, so embrace the single life for a while and do things with your time that you hadn't been able to when you were tied to your ex.

TEH REAL CDP

First off OP, I'd say not to go out on the pull just yet. if it was a long term relationship, you'll need time to get over things.

This leads me to my next point. Girls can literally sniff out lads who are out on the pull. You'll never get to make a move if thats the case. Meet up with a couple of friends and hang out. When you go into a pub, just have a good time. Don't have a purpose, just be there for the fun of it. A confident, carefree guy who has nothing to worry about is far more atractive to the fairer sex than a bunch of beta males jostling each other for the attention of the stunner at the bar. As regards the kissing thing, thats a personal thing. Chance is a funny thing, and the best kiss will be in the moment you least expect it. Try leaving getting back in teh game for a while. Go out with the intention of not scoring - the best things happen when you least expect it.

As for xmas songs OP...don't talk to me about them - I have to learn about 15 of them for upcoming gigs at the weekend and they are a pile of c*ck!!!

best of luck mate, have a happy xmas - you will.

estar

its good to talk and to realise you are just a human being that takes time to heal. you should talk to your close friends and family and tell them how you feel and let them comfort you. you will recover and be able to go out with other people but it does take time. in the mean time treat yourself to nice things, make plans with good friends, and try and roll with it.