How do i show her i "Know her"?

eco

I have been with my GF for 3 years on and off , its been a weird 3 years i havnt treated her great and I know that.

It all came to a head tonight she complained that i have only once given her a bday gift- never given her an xmas gift.Never bought her flowers or taken her out for a meal.

So i decided to get her a lil gift to surprise her.Shes a massive liverpool fan so i found a lil stress ball with the liverpool crest on it,I thought she would like it,But she hated it.She went into a rant about how I only got her that cos it had a liverpool crest on it(thats true) and that i didnt know her, or what she liked,She then went into a flurry of questions asking "whats my fave film/colour " etc and i got them all wrong. So i played her at her own game and asked her the same ones about me- and she got them all right.

She wont talk to me now shes very mad at me right now, she says its over because i dont "know her"

I know that i know her, but How do i show her i "Know her"

Honestly buying her liverpool stuff or her fave album wont be enough this time and i know it

Can anyone shed some light I cant lose her again cos this time I know I wont get her back.

Rb

Take her on a surprise holiday to her favourite city in the world.

Jesper

if your serious this time do your best to get over this set back and make a serious errort from now on. if your not serious you'll get away with it again and do the same mistake again.
if she's that cool just imagine what she'd like and for f... sake meet her half way! thats what most people want

Miss Fluff

I honestly don't know why she hasn't dumped you ages ago. Wtf? No gifts and then a stress-ball, you sound uncaring and tight as hell. If you actually want to continue going out with her (and you'll need to ask youself this as your behaviour would suggest otherwise) then you need a grand gesture to redeem yourself. By that I mean a weekend away/shopping spree in town/taking her on holiday/or expensive restaurant and as many flowers as you can physically carry.

Rb

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I honestly don't know why she hasn't dumped you ages ago. Wtf? No gifts and then a stress-ball, you sound uncaring and tight as hell. If you actually want to continue going out with her (and you'll need to ask youself this as your behaviour would suggest otherwise) then you need a grand gesture to redeem yourself. By that I mean a weekend away/shopping spree in town/taking her on holiday/or expensive restaurant and as many flowers as you can physically carry.

I agree, really sounds like she's put up with enough and deserves a hell of a lot better.

Sort yourself out OP, and quickly, if you don't want to lose her you'd better do something drastic, even if you've to take out a loan for it.

hungryhippo

eco wrote: »

It all came to a head tonight she complained that i have only once given her a bday gift- never given her an xmas gift.Never bought her flowers or taken her out for a meal.

I think it is she who should have started a thread. Out of interest, how old are you?

eco

hungryhippo wrote: »

I think it is she who should have started a thread.

why?

hungryhippo wrote: »

how old are you?

I am 22 and so is she

LegacyUser

Three years and you've never taken her to dinner or bought her flowers? I bring my girlfriend of a year flowers randomly and take her out to dinner at least once a month.

Use your head, think of something she would really like and not something small and scabby. Save up or get a loan if you must. Girlfriends are meant to be spoiled!

My girlfriends birthday was in november, i bought her jewlery, flowers, perfume, a teddy bear and brought her out to dinner. I'm still being thanked :P

21stone

a stress ball ??? u fecking serious ??? u deserve it all im afraid

alot of a.s.s licking im afraid , if u really love her , listen to her , never have her be wary of u never listening

still laughing at the stress ball , where did ye get that ????

kf1920

My Advice would be to start over.

Tell her that you've messed up and wanna make it up to her
Do the whole first date thing again. Take her out, properly talk as you would to someone your interested in but didn't know a thing about.

Also use this start over as a chance to treat her better, presents etc, little nice proper presents i.e. not stress balls etc, just necause it has the Liverpool crest on it

the dee

Christmas is the perfect time to make it up to her. REALLY listen to her when she's talking. Find something she really likes / is very interested in and get her a thoughful gift for Christmas. Maybe something big and grand. Or a few little things that she likes or needs. You need to show that you put some real thought into it.

And keep it up, don't think you can relax once you've got over the initial problem. Keep putting the effort in if you really want to keep her.

star-pants

I am surprised that you wouldn't buy her something for 2 out of 3 birthdays, and nothing for any Christmas. It's not like presents have to be insane, small tokens are appreciated along the way. As for going out for a meal - a nice chinese isn't that expensive, heck I pick up the bill sometimes if it's just me and a friend, just to be nice. And vice versa.

I know every ones going to harp on about the lack of gifts and then when you did get her something ... well to be honest, I wouldn't have been impressed either. Yes it was Liverpool but other than that it didn't mean anything.
Gifts, again don't have to be outrageous, but need thought in them.

In getting all her questions wrong - did it not make you think how well you do know her? Ok some are trivial questions that not every partner might know, but after a few months with a guy, I tend to know his favourite things. I make a point of being interested in them and their hobbies, I want to know about them. You should want to know things about your gf.

You say you know her - so focus on what you know about her. The fact she's into Liverpool and you know her favourite band won't cut it. And doing something OTT may not cut it either, because you're just throwing something large and distracting to solve the situation. If it were me it wouldn't work.
You need to focus on her, time together is essential, it could even just be a romantic w/e away - and give her lots of attention - talk to her, tell her how much she means to you, and maybe try and learn more about her.
Explain to her how you feel, that you want to try and you're willing to improve.

She sounds very upset and I don't think overcompensating will work. She needs *you*. So up the quality time with her, and work on it. I do hope ye can sort things out.
Best of luck

kmick

You never bought her christmas or birthday gifts or flowers and you think a Liverpool stress ball is going to patch it up. I'll bet you did not even buy the stress ball, or you bought it for yourself you selfish git.

As women say - if you dont know whats wrong - then Im not going to tell you.

Good luck getting her back.

DubLegs

Just curious - Has she spoilt you for ur bdays and crimbo? Has she remembered all the important dates?
Because if she did how on earth could you sit back and take them without feeling even slightly guilty?

She's right to blow up at you - you don't sound like much of a boyfriend really. Sorry to be harsh.

Marksie

ECO: i am curious as to the on off...does the wife know?http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=54095181&postcount=3