Pop Quiz Hot Shot - girl goes Zinedine Zidane, what do ya do?!

Requiem4adream

So i walk into the kitchen of a house party/gathering last night. Made the rookie mistake of leaving my Taco Fries (yum) on the counter, come back and they're gone :eek: 2 girls, 2 lads in the kitchen.

"which 1 of you biatches ate my fries!!!!"

At which point 1 girl goes from 0 ---> Crazy in 4.1 seconds, "how dare you call me a bitch". Ummm .... before i could get 2 words in edgeways(sarcasm/humour/irony/colloquial expression etc), i was being ushered to the door!! The crazy fool started pushing me n all!!

In general (guys) what do ya do when a girl starts going El Loco? I basically let her push me and walked off (tempted to do something juvenile like piss on the handle of her car door but passed on it).... In general (girls) are you all so highly strung and easily offended!!!!! I know the c-word is a dodgy 1 but jeeeeez.... Actually question 1 to girls too, do you all expect guys to be pacifists when you go nuts?!

kaimera

I won't take crap from stupid bints. I'd rather not get into the details but it ended up with a fist sized hole in my wall.

LadyJ

Sounds like a lunatic tbh! Was it even her party? I'd have told her to fcuk off and pushed her back! Even if I was a guy.

Pherekydes

I'd have said to her, "So it WAS you. You ARE a bitch, and a greedy cúnt, too."

Then I'd have thrown the wrappings/remains at her and stormed off.

dior1catboy

Not all girls are like that mate, she just sounds like a bitch!

Dragan

*chuckles* I take it she was drunk or some such?

I used to make my money dealing with drunken rowdy folk and girls were by far the worst. More vicious than any man when they get going in my experience.

Also a ****er to deal with, as even after one lass tried to slash my face with a broken pint glass i still got dodgy looks when i arm locked her and walked her out.

The gentle sex my arse.

ejmaztec

Pmt:(

Requiem4adream

The more i think about it the more i regret not making some witty comeback. I think i muttered the word "ho" under my breath while leaving, lame I dont usually like confrontation, at the same time i dont encounter too many Captain Insane-o's. Pissing on her car door might have at least given me a chuckle!!

thelordofcheese

Requiem4adream wrote: »

So i walk into the kitchen of a house party/gathering last night. Made the rookie mistake of leaving my Taco Fries (yum) on the counter, come back and they're gone :eek: 2 girls, 2 lads in the kitchen.

"which 1 of you biatches ate my fries!!!!"

At which point 1 girl goes from 0 ---> Crazy in 4.1 seconds, "how dare you call me a bitch". Ummm .... before i could get 2 words in edgeways(sarcasm/humour/irony/colloquial expression etc), i was being ushered to the door!! The crazy fool started pushing me n all!!

In general (guys) what do ya do when a girl starts going El Loco? I basically let her push me and walked off (tempted to do something juvenile like piss on the handle of her car door but passed on it).... In general (girls) are you all so highly strung and easily offended!!!!! I know the c-word is a dodgy 1 but jeeeeez.... Actually question 1 to girls too, do you all expect guys to be pacifists when you go nuts?!

Back of the hand and then to a nunnery with her, the low bred strumpet can't be allowed to go around pilfering taco fries like that, it's a disgrace.

Kiith

Dragan wrote: »

*chuckles* I take it she was drunk or some such?

I used to make my money dealing with drunken rowdy folk and girls were by far the worst. More vicious than any man when they get going in my experience.

Also a ****er to deal with, as even after one lass tried to slash my face with a broken pint glass i still got dodgy looks when i arm locked her and walked her out.

The gentle sex my arse.

So, either your a bouncer, or its alot more sinister then that? Here's hoping for sinister

Dave!

kaimera wrote: »

I won't take crap from stupid bints. I'd rather not get into the details but it ended up with a fist sized hole in my wall.

Shoulda ended with a bint-head-shaped-hole in the wall instead.

Woofer

Its a horrible position to be in when you're a guy and girl starts getting abusive and starts pushing/kicking/spitting (yes spitting :eek:) at you. What you have to remember is that women are fundamentally insecure, and that while you cant hit them back (it would be so wrong), you can let them punch kick etc, just start messing with their heads by slagging them. A finely pitched insult will cut a girl to the core - no matter how drunk or angry she is. Bet you it will hit a nerve with their deep-rooted intrinsic insecurity and you can wake up the next morning happy in the knowledge that you're insults will play on her mind for years. :cool:

leninbenjamin

I wouldn't have budged til they offered to pay for them. i'm stubborn like that.

Lazare

Woofer wrote: »

Its a horrible position to be in when you're a guy and girl starts getting abusive and starts pushing/kicking/spitting (yes spitting :eek:) at you. What you have to remember is that women are fundamentally insecure, and that while you cant hit them back (it would be so wrong), you can let them punch kick etc, just start messing with their heads by slagging them. A finely pitched insult will cut a girl to the core - no matter how drunk or angry she is. Bet you it will hit a nerve with their deep-rooted intrinsic insecurity and you can wake up the next morning happy in the knowledge that you're insults will play on her mind for years. :cool:

LMAO.

"My god your breath really stinks"

kf1920

You should have went Zinedine Zidane back, and floored her with a headbutt....;)

dior1catboy

Woofer wrote: »

Its a horrible position to be in when you're a guy and girl starts getting abusive and starts pushing/kicking/spitting (yes spitting :eek:) at you. What you have to remember is that women are fundamentally insecure, and that while you cant hit them back (it would be so wrong), you can let them punch kick etc, just start messing with their heads by slagging them. A finely pitched insult will cut a girl to the core - no matter how drunk or angry she is. Bet you it will hit a nerve with their deep-rooted intrinsic insecurity and you can wake up the next morning happy in the knowledge that you're insults will play on her mind for years. :cool:

Ooooohhhhh, thats just too true!

Genghiz Cohen

From the standard standing position (hands by your sides) turn your right palm to face forwards, clench into a fist, while bending your elbow as to bring your fist to your shoulder, begin to raise your elbow, and bend your knees slightly. Continue to rapidly raise your elbow towards the bitch's chin, and just before you make contact straighten your knees pushing that energy into the stupid bitch's face, with any luck you'll have lifted her off her feet, if not, continue to raise your arm untill your elbow is pointed almost straight up, then reverse the operation by lowering your elbow but at the same time extending your forearm and fist.

If you do it quickly enough her face will still be pointing up, if not aim for the bridge of her nose, and make contact with the first two knuckles (index and ring-finger) or your fist, slightly bending your knees before the strike and once again using that force.

That should sort her out sharpish!

themadchef

Maybe she was really depressed because she hadin't pulled and had eaten your tacos out of sheer depression! Then you come in all studly (perhaps ) and she was really just trying to get you alone....bet she followed you out lol...did you hang around long enough to find out?

very far fteched indeed, but possible

Requiem4adream

themadchef wrote: »

Maybe she was really depressed because she hadin't pulled and had eaten your tacos out of sheer depression! Then you come in all studly (perhaps ) and she was really just trying to get you alone....bet she followed you out lol...did you hang around long enough to find out?

very far fteched indeed, but possible

Your theory was going fine until "studly" LOL. Umm...no my friend actually likes the girl in question, all i can do is wish him luck or point him in the direction of http://www2.dupont.com/Kevlar/en_US/products/life_protection/life_protection.html

It's messed up though i wouldnt let a male push me but when it's a girl kinda get the rabbit-in-headlights feeling, didnt know what to do!!

sdanseo

Should have poured salt in her hair. Works every time. And with women the reaction would be worth paying to see.

LadyJ

LadyJ wrote: »

Sounds like a lunatic tbh! Was it even her party? I'd have told her to fcuk off and pushed her back! Even if I was a guy.

Whaddya mean "Even if" ?

@ OP: yeah, agree with Woofer and Slow Coach. Only way to get your own back is with a tongue-lashing* of some sort. I'd have responded with something along the lines of:

*look at other girl in kitchen, thumb cocked* - "Guess it was this bitch then"

---

or

---

"Should've known it'd be the fat bitch"

---

or

---

"They were RIGHT!...cows DO get BSE from eating other cows"

---

or

---

You thick little greasy trollop, you ever put your hands on my grub** again and I will fncking tear you a new one. Listen to this, and listen good. I will not hesitate to mash that empty Taco fries container into that excuse of a pile of tramp's-vomit that you call your face before bringing you out the back and giving you a good hosing*** to get that cheap, tarty, play-d'oh of your 15 chins so everone else here knows you for the loose-knickered troglodyte you really are.

It might be a bit extreme, but meh.

*careful now, lads
**careful now, ladies
***careful now, lads

tman

sdonn_1 wrote: »

Should have poured salt in her hair. Works every time. And with women the reaction would be worth paying to see.

I thought that only worked on slugs?

Oh... wait...

Call Me Jimmy

Ah listen here now, I woulda punched da bitch with my strong arm muscles.